Coming out of the closet...

I'm bisexual...

No one knows except for one of my best friends, and she hasn't told anyone (I trust her very much, and I know she would never tell anyone else if I didn't want them to know).

Anyways I want to be open about it, but honestly I don't have it in me to tell other people.

I don't have a good history with telling people things that are on a level like this, and I have ended up in rejection every time.

So honestly, I don't know what to say or do.

And I want to tell everyone, not just friends.

My friends are not homophobes or anything, I just don't want to make things awkward.

My family is dead set against gay marriage, although I'm not sure about what they think of other sexual orientations besides being straight.

My oldest sister ,however, is practically a homophobe. No let me rephrase that, she IS a homophobe. And so is her kids, her husband, her husbands parents, so on and so forth.

Any advice?

I want to be open about it, but I'm just too scared to do it...

... I've already fucked up so many things...

Basically I came out pretty easily.

I talk about my (ex)girlfriends like I would my boyfriends. Most people don't give a shit, or I get the "-gasp- You're bi!?" and I go "yeah" and shrug it off. It's only a big deal if you make it one, is how I see it. But maybe I just got lucky.

My mom was against me dating a girl so I kept it quiet, I didn't hide it though, she eventually accepted it.

My friend has the same problem, she's full out lesbian, but has only came out to her friends, and I love her for getting the courage to tell us all. Her family though, is against gays and she thinks that if she tells them they wont love her anymore. Im sorry your family is so against it, there really is nothing you can do to change their minds, as they wont be able to change yours. All you can do is wait for the right time to tell them, and there probally will a great chance that they wont like it (according to your posts) but if they are supportive of you, they will accept it. Remember to tell them that you are partially straight, and not full out gay. but if you say that youve fucked things bad enough, what do you have to lose?

The only thing you can do is tell them, or not. If you do tell them, they may hate you, but at least your free. If you do tell them, wait till your ready and remember, your friends support and love you, have them for your support system.
:)

just do it. people dont like it, well fuck them. to me, for every one person who dosent accept you, there at least one who does. as for your sister, she cant stop you. you wont be dis-owned from your family. youll still be loved. its no different than telling people that you smoke ganja. they might not agree with it or think its wrong, but your still their child. id rather be unliked than be living a lie.

I say do what you feel like you should do, or you might regret it. I was told by the few people I first told that I was gay that I should wait till I was in college then come out, one guy even told me never to tell my parents. I tried to follow their advice, but I just couldn't a week into my senior year (beggining of this school year) I came out at school, then 4 months later I came out to my parents, I was afraid of rejection, but it was accepted by all my freinds. My opinion is, if you decide to come out all your freinds that suddenly act completely negativly were never truly your freinds, and your parents (if not now) will eventually accept. It takes a rare breed of asshole to not love their childfor who they are. If you decide not to come out, that's your decision and yours alone.

I agree that if your friends dont accept you than they were never really your friends. Your family on the other hand isnt something you could write off like you could friends. If you really think they would respond badly, and you want to maintain a relationship with them, than maybe you shouldnt tell them at this point in time. This may not be the answer youre looking for, because hiding something that is apart of you that you finally feel good about is never what someone wants to do. It really comes down to how homophobic your family is, and how much of a relationship you want with them. If you feel like your parents are more open to it maybe you could tell them but not your sister and her family. Good luck.

i understand how coming out would be hard but if people cant respect you for who you are then they are not worth your time

Just tell them. If they treat you different or put you down, then they were never your friends to begin with. Find people who accept you for you.

I used to know a fellow who was Bi, and I even had a few gay bosses in my time. I held nothing against them as I could care less what their sexual preference is. Some people may look at you different, but don't let it bother you.

You have to think though, do your friends really need to know that you're bi? If your friends aren't into playing for both teams, you'd do it out of respect not to talk about how good looking you think a certain guy is. That's how I see it anyways.

Just be yourself. :)

Yea it pretty much comes down to one thing..

The Decision.

Make it, and follow your plan through,

This doesn't mean you HAVE to broadcast it.
Alot of people fall into the "needy" mode where they have to tell EVERYONE even if its something we're NOT talking about. Those are the ones that are annoying.. Its like ya it aint new, right on, lets keep sexual preference in the bag of tricks until time to pull it out. And like chicky says just do it and be yourself. Thats who you are thats who you are.. No if you're bi then you're bi, but it sounds like you wanna actually tell em your gay. Which is cool too, but make sure you know what you are before you tell em what you are. Or THEN you'll have issues with people thinking things about you..

Got ALOT of gay friends (cali) , not gay myself, would I???

MMMM maybe if I was drunk enough... whew. Can't hear myself typing no because that would be a lie, I'm a wild guy. For sure not without female presence. Anyway thats neither here nor there.
Get yourself a brand new pair of nike running shoes, chew some valarian root and just do it mang. Be free from yourself.

My friend waited almost 5 years to come out, all he did was slowly tell everyone of his good friends one at a time so it wasnt like the talk of the school, eventually it got around, but very slowly and no one made a big deal about it. I think you should hold off on telling your parents, your sexuality isnt their business anyways..

Was an unhappy lesbian. She "experimented" with heterosexuality and became pregnant. She had a daughter. Eventually she decided she wanted a sex change- she wasn't a lesbian, she was a person trapped in the wrong gender body. He has now gone through his change and is now a successful speaker for the trans-gender community.

To put it mildly, his oh so Catholic mother was NOT happy with her child. (This woman has 3 foot high statues of Mary and Jesus in her living room- just to give you an idea!) Even after the operations, Mom called him by his former feminine name and introduced him as "my daughter". That was about 5 years ago. Mom has since relented and calls him by his masculine name and introduces him as "my child". She's still not very happy, but is now accepting her son. I kept telling her that it's what's in the package (spirit/soul) that is important, not whether it is wrapped in blue or pink paper (the body)!

Actually, my friend's child accepted it the best. She calls him "maddy" (Mom/daddy) and just refers to him as her parent. She is quite at ease with the whole situation.

Me, I filled in as the "other-mother"- I gave my friend the support he needed and listened a lot. I guess I did OK, since he is far happier now than he was as a lesbian. Parents may not be accepting at first, but eventually, they will come around. If you do come out, find a good, non-judgmental friend who listens. They can be a lifesaver! You may have to wait for years, enduring your parent's disapproval, but a parent's love is (or should be) unconditional. My kids are both straight-edgers, while I'm an old hippie, wiccan, pothead--but we love and accept each other anyway.- Granny:hippy:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Storm Crow

Was an unhappy lesbian. She "experimented" with heterosexuality and became pregnant. She had a daughter. Eventually she decided she wanted a sex change- she wasn't a lesbian, she was a person trapped in the wrong gender body. He has now gone through his change and is now a successful speaker for the trans-gender community.

To put it mildly, his oh so Catholic mother was NOT happy with her child. (This woman has 3 foot high statues of Mary and Jesus in her living room- just to give you an idea!) Even after the operations, Mom called him by his former feminine name and introduced him as "my daughter". That was about 5 years ago. Mom has since relented and calls him by his masculine name and introduces him as "my child". She's still not very happy, but is now accepting her son. I kept telling her that it's what's in the package (spirit/soul) that is important, not whether it is wrapped in blue or pink paper (the body)!

Actually, my friend's child accepted it the best. She calls him "maddy" (Mom/daddy) and just refers to him as her parent. She is quite at ease with the whole situation.

Me, I filled in as the "other-mother"- I gave my friend the support he needed and listened a lot. I guess I did OK, since he is far happier now than he was as a lesbian. Parents may not be accepting at first, but eventually, they will come around. If you do come out, find a good, non-judgmental friend who listens. They can be a lifesaver! You may have to wait for years, enduring your parent's disapproval, but a parent's love is (or should be) unconditional. My kids are both straight-edgers, while I'm an old hippie, wiccan, pothead--but we love and accept each other anyway.- Granny:hippy:

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Interesting, glad it worked out great and everyones happy. =D I'll smoke one right now to that. :)

Coming out for me started out really difficult, but I just slowly let some people know subtlely by commenting on a girl or joking about having a girlfriend and some people got it and either accepted it or never brought it up.
I'm okay with people knowing I'm bi, just let you're self get comfortable with it first...
It's not as bad as you think it might be.