need advice on a girl baddly!!!

background

i dated this girl for maybe 4-5 months, before we dated she pretty much used me for sex, seriously i didn't even want to she would put me in a position where i could not say no. shes kind of crazy like diagnosed with bipolar disorder but i still loved her and liked being with her, rather than just the sex, her not so much at the beginning that is.

well she lied to me A LOT. cheated on me actually, she told me at the end of the relationship i tried getting over it but i couldn't find myself able too. i was really shaken up about it. i tried being the best boyfriend i could even with the lying and usually made fun of me for anything i did. Always said i sucked at music and mind that music is my main goal in life.

I couldn't even say hi to a girl without getting it shoved in my face by her and bitched at her. Everyone gets jealous i understand, but it was what she did that made me mad, she would talk to other guys infront of me, hug every guy she saw before i even got one. Would call ex-boyfriends and be on the phone with them for 30 minutes right in front of me while i just sat there and had to listen.

so i eventually broke up with her maybe 4 weeks ago. this was absolute hell i will say. ( i sit next to her in 4 classes) for a week straight she would cry through out the entire day and plead for me to take her back. i just wouldn't. About a week or two after she started calling me while having sex with other guys and shes really into harder drugs now, opium, acid, shrooms, cocaine, not to much harder but when she goes out everyday to do them than yes.

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this is where i need advice,
she is in the hospital now for depression because of me, thats how broken up she is about it still. I feel awful undescrible never felt soo bad in my life. She called me and told me that i was the reason she was there and i was the reason she no longer goes to school and shes never hated someone so badly.

I dont know what to do like i cant just break away from her... ive tried

Listen, I dated this girl once who was severely bipolar (CURRENTLY on lithium)...she was obsessive, depended and yet a total cunt, much like your girl sounds like. I broke up with her numerous t imes and she'd always con me back, while she didn't go to the hospital, she cut hersey badly, showed me and started doing meth. She blamed me. It's literally been 3 years and she STILLS contacts me, trying to get with me, and when I turn her down she messages me or calls me a few days later saying she's started drugs again or some shit.

Basically, while it may be hard..you really need to lose all contact with her, she's just going to bring you down emotionally/mentally and possibly physically. it's not worth the prolonged pain.

sounds like her, she too was on lithium
yeah i will try thanks for the advice a lot!!

Coming from a pretty severely bi-polar person, I can say she probally doesn't mean what she does, and you should try not to feel to hurt, but tell her to fuck off man.

leave her, you must, it looks like shes ruining your life. yes you feel bad, but you must get over that and numb your feelings toward her. Stop feeling bad for a girl who is ruining your life. its hard to be with someone who is bipolar, with all the mood swings and everything, dont feel sorry, once she takes her pills and gets better, youll be happy that shes no longer with you, and youll feel a lot better without her too.

thanks you guys are awesome!!

we are awesome

Yo fuck that bitch! seriously. Its her own fault or rather her own problems that put her there, obviously if she cared about you, she would have showed it, and didnt. Not only did she not show u caring gestures but she threw crap all up in your face when she did the same thing, controling bitches man all they want is control. They need to feel like they have a puppet, and when there puppet ups and leaves they got nothing. All this little things she could have done, she didnt and u couldnt have done anything else, lesson learned for a new relationship i say. Go find a nice girl that will treat u right, and to hell with anyone who just wants you there for there own amusement.

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Originally Posted by Matt the Funk

Coming from a pretty severely bi-polar person, I can say she probally doesn't mean what she does, and you should try not to feel to hurt, but tell her to fuck off man.

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I agree I have had a similar situation. You can always hope somone can change when they say they will or asy they want too. But it takes time it will never happen over night.

you ither accect the fact that thats how she is.. Or tell her to beat it and don't look back for your own safty...

At this point I think you ahve suffered enough.. Drugs can't help her ither.. they will only make it worse for her. You don't need that kind of BS in your life.

kd

not even remotely worth it to get back with her. lose her.

i sent a chick to a nut house before when i broke up with her... i felt like shit for years and years after that... just recently managed to make contact with her and 'make things right' although it didn't take away the pain she'd already dealt with... atleast she knew what happend really...

Seems to me like she's a sure-fuck...call her when you're horny...







jk

You cant ruin your life because shes unstable. This is coming from someone who was on the other end of a similar situation at one point in time, so I have a pretty good idea of what I'm talking about. You cant change her, and if you care about her at all dont do anything that she could even slightly think is leading her on. Crazy girls arent something you should mess with.

wtf... that girl has no logic, hmmm let me cheat on my partner, expect to get away with it, make jokes at your expense and shes in the hospital because you broke up with her? She did that shit to herself and she has to live with her mistakes now, and how shes coping with her emotions is just ridiculous. My sister had an obsessive friend, and she just got rid of her by losing contact. dude this shit just IS NOT your fault and you need to realize that, cause the sooner you do the sooner you can erase this mark upon your life for good.

this girl = crazy bitch. stop taliking to her, looking at her, and thinking about her completley. even if she is mentally ill, just walk away and dont look back.

It is easy for a caring person like you to get caught up in a spiral with someone like this. It is good that you care about what happens to her, but folks here are right - You can not let her keep pulling you in to her unhealthy life.

It is NOT your fault that she is mentally ill, nor that she is in the hospital. Her telling you that is it is your fault is emotional abuse, as were here comments about your music, her intereference with your talking to other girls, her nonsense with hugs/phone calls/sex with other guys.

This girl's Bipolar Disorder is currently out of control. Until she is stabilized on medication and has had a decent amount of therapy, she will be unable to have a healthy relationship (friend or otherwise) with anyone, and it will do her more harm than good to try. She cannot handle it. It makes her be bad to you, and bad to herself.

If/when she calls you or approaches you in person, simply say something like:

"I care about what happens to you, but you and I cannot have a relationship like we used to have. You need to focus on getting yourself well. When you are in a better place, I can be a friend to you, but nothing more. Until then, we need to keep our distance."

She'll likely keep trying... Then just say:

"<insert name>, get yourself well."

...and hang up, walk away, ignore her, whatever. Say it every time, and say nothing else. If you respond to her tears, her anger, her pleading, etc. in any way, you are giving her attention which will just encourage her bad behavior.

If she gets herself stabilized, it will be very clear to you in her new approach to you, and she will probably tell you the status of her meds, therapy, etc. to let you know that she is working on herself. Then you can be supportive of her, and try building a friendship (ONLY) with her if you wish - but be prepared for setbacks, and revert to your one line response if she gets off the path to mental health.

Remember - Guilt is like a bag of bricks; all you have to do is put it down. None of this is your fault or responsibility. Don't let yourself buy into that.

If you're having trouble letting go, remind yourself that it will not be helpful to her for you to be around her while she's out of control. If you have to, put a rubber band around your wrist, and whenever you feel yourself caving in to her antics or feeling guilty, give it a good SNAP. Train your brain not to fall into that trap. Your emotional health is at stake!

Best wishes.

dude, what im about to say to you isnt being mean, its one man to another.

first off, you sound like a really really nice guy. maybe a little too nice. you thought about her needs to much. a relationship is both people getting equal attention.

second off, go back to that crazy bitch, reach in her pockets and pull out your balls and shove them back in your sac. no one should ever be controlled in a relationship. the decsion making should always be equal, or there is obvously some problems.

stay away from crazy girls man, there bad news. this one is just a attention seeking whore, the worst kind. she doesnt give a fuck about you, and she never did. she used you like a dildo and tossed your ass. learn your lesson this time bro, dont let women use you. A man with no balls gets no respect where it counts (ex. bedroom)

sorry to be such a prick, but i was in a relationship like yours. i snapped out of it, and im so glad i did. i met someone new, and i already have a better feeling about her than the crazy bitch i dated for a year. the relationship i have now is equal on all levels, not one person trying to control the other.

sorry for the long ass post, goodluck, post back if anything new happens

happy tokings

"Always said i sucked at music and mind that music is my main goal in life."

firs tof all, Nobody ever sucks at music, you try, and if you try you progress then your bomb diggs.

This girl seems whacko. nobody needs someone that keeps puting them down, expecially when someones deliberately trying to put them down...

It seems like you were a punching bag...

its good that you left.

"Always said i sucked at music and mind that music is my main goal in life."

From one musician to another, I would love to hear your stuff...

Got anything out there?

a few days ago last bell of the day study hall which we use to have together before i switched she called her friend in front of me and was trying to find a bunch of people under 18 to kick my ass and "i want to be there when it happens so i can go up and kick him in the face while hes on the ground" word for word of what she said.
than she lied to me and said she wasnt talking about me... with an evil ass grin on her face....
she eventually came out with the truth and told me that the phone call was about me...

im so sick of her shit!!

fucking crazy ass, i now never leave my house with out my buck.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Genuine17

background

i dated this girl for maybe 4-5 months, before we dated she pretty much used me for sex, seriously i didn't even want to she would put me in a position where i could not say no. shes kind of crazy like diagnosed with bipolar disorder but i still loved her and liked being with her, rather than just the sex, her not so much at the beginning that is.

well she lied to me A LOT. cheated on me actually, she told me at the end of the relationship i tried getting over it but i couldn't find myself able too. i was really shaken up about it. i tried being the best boyfriend i could even with the lying and usually made fun of me for anything i did. Always said i sucked at music and mind that music is my main goal in life.

I couldn't even say hi to a girl without getting it shoved in my face by her and bitched at her. Everyone gets jealous i understand, but it was what she did that made me mad, she would talk to other guys infront of me, hug every guy she saw before i even got one. Would call ex-boyfriends and be on the phone with them for 30 minutes right in front of me while i just sat there and had to listen.

so i eventually broke up with her maybe 4 weeks ago. this was absolute hell i will say. ( i sit next to her in 4 classes) for a week straight she would cry through out the entire day and plead for me to take her back. i just wouldn't. About a week or two after she started calling me while having sex with other guys and shes really into harder drugs now, opium, acid, shrooms, cocaine, not to much harder but when she goes out everyday to do them than yes.

________________________________________________
this is where i need advice,
she is in the hospital now for depression because of me, thats how broken up she is about it still. I feel awful undescrible never felt soo bad in my life. She called me and told me that i was the reason she was there and i was the reason she no longer goes to school and shes never hated someone so badly.

I dont know what to do like i cant just break away from her... ive tried

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Quite frankly this is not your fault at all, and i totally agree with everyone else, you have to break yourself free from her. Cause nothing good will come of you going back to her out of guilt and pity. She needs to improve and better herself, and deal with herself, and she can't do that with you around. or try being just her friend, but that only ussually works if its a mutual break up. which your situation wasn't so break yourself free.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Genuine17

a few days ago last bell of the day study hall which we use to have together before i switched she called her friend in front of me and was trying to find a bunch of people under 18 to kick my ass and "i want to be there when it happens so i can go up and kick him in the face while hes on the ground" word for word of what she said.
than she lied to me and said she wasnt talking about me... with an evil ass grin on her face....
she eventually came out with the truth and told me that the phone call was about me...

im so sick of her shit!!

fucking crazy ass, i now never leave my house with out my buck.

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never leave your hose without your buck???

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Originally Posted by potsmokingnome

never leave your hose without your buck???

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what didn't you understand? lol...

btw, he said house not hose...


http://www.thebladeshop.com/ProductImages/buck/119.jpg

the most basic and widely owned buck... even owned one myself... then my dumbass uncle decided it was a good knife to start throwing around (that shit is FAR from a throwing knife WAY TOO MUCH WEIGHT) broke the fuckin tip off... so i ended up throwing it away....

believe it or not i used to carry that knife on my belt at about... 12? the blade alone is nearly 6 inches... far from legal...

similar situation(s)
ex: "lizzy" whom will now be known as "subject-L"
ex: "aleigha" whom will now be known as "subject-A"
ex: "krystal" now "subject-K"

subject-L and i dated casually or whatever hung out for several months had a decent relationship an shit but i got locked up and when i got out she had another man and i was clownin wit other females etc. so we kind of grew apart that way but to this day shes still one of my closest friends

never gotten over me, tries to get with me every chance possible

i asked subject-a out an we talked on tha phone, texted etc. for like a week an a half, we never had ANYTHING physical i never so much as kissed the girl, so she hears rumors of me cheating on her with subject-k and dumps me, very very very regrettable decision, and to this day she still tells me it was one of her worst decisions of her life

so anyways basically same thing on a worse scale she got depressed and trippin over me, affected really badly emotionally, gave up on men/dating for a few months, etc.

now shes mostly over me and moved on and is also one of my closest female friends

after subject-a and i broke up i got with subject-k and we mainly just drank and fucked a lot for maybe 4-5 months, somehow fell in love but this time it was both ways instead of one-way

broke up with her yesterday because of heavy use of white nasal narcotics

contemplating going back to subject-L

the twist: she's pregnant with that other dudes baby

im 100% sure that as soon as subject-k can get her nose clean(pun intended;) ) we will get back together (we both are very clear on how much we are in love with each other and want to spend our lives together)

so basically the moral of the story: no matter how much you love them theres a point where you have not much choice but to let them go, and if you dont love them and they love you, it's healthier to just let them go

hope this was helpful:rastasmoke:

i think its completely over now... she texted me saying she finally understands that im not going to go back out with her and shes gonna try to make it through...

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Originally Posted by Genuine17

i think its completely over now... she texted me saying she finally understands that im not going to go back out with her and shes gonna try to make it through...

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you got her out of your life, now you can start living it:thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by Samwhore

you got her out of your life, now you can start living it:thumbsup:

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yeah somewhere between last nights trip :hippy: and having her yell at me today i finally told her to fuck off and never talk to me.

shes crazy, it doesnt have nething to do with you, shes trying to hurt you, fuck her dont worry about it.

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Originally Posted by freezland24

what reason did you have to cary one of those at 12? lol. i'm interested

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no reason.... just to do it lol... although... it did come in pretty hand when a couple of bullies would wanna try and start some shit... it's amazing the fear something like that can really put in a person (it is big ass knife lol)

"hey kid, give me your bike"
no?
"i wasn't asking you"

~unbuttons sheath and pulls out knife~

bullies friend: forget it man lets just go..

true story too.. i guess the bike wasn't special enough for them to find out if i was prepared to use that knife... which, i can honestly tell you i would have... lol i wouldn't of just stood around watching some kid ride off on my bike that's for sure.

Good.

yeah really, finally! haha

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Genuine17

this is where i need advice,
she is in the hospital now for depression because of me, thats how broken up she is about it still.

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This girl had problems well before you were in the picture and sounds like they got worse after you left. You are not the reason she is there and if she is telling you that, she is trying to manipulate you with guilt.

Run, run, run fast and run long. Don't look back. Run until your legs burn from running so long. I have dated my share of crazy chics before so listen to me. Sometimes it is hard to leave the crazy girls because sometimes they are wild in bed but run and never look back. You are too young to have to deal with this. There are 3 billion more girls on this planet.

he's right, sounds like this chick is beyond crazy and she seems like your typical woe-is-me-teenage angst.

i hit her with a can or larger than sat in her chair in drank it....

yeah i wish i could run but i sit next to her in 3 classes so now whenever she tries to be mean to me i just get her back and piss her off... im no longer the nice guy, its fantastic

i couldent go out with a girl like that