heres alil Q & A for ya!

Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the
world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.



Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the
future?



A. He buys two cases of beer.



Q. What is the difference between men and government
bonds?



A. The bonds mature.

Q.. Why are blonde jokes! so short?



A. So men can remember them.



Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of
toilet paper?



A. We don't know; it has never happened.




Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,
caring and good-looking?



A. They already have boyfriends.



Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her
husband is every night?



A. A widow.


Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge
and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in
bed and go to the fridge.



Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars
have in common?

A. ! They're married.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ammie

Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,
caring and good-looking?


A. They already have boyfriends.

---

My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

(Bloodhoud Gang - I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ammie

.
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the
world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.

---

Am I included, because I live on my own and I do my dishes

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ammie

.
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the
future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.

---

I bought a house when I was 21, (I'm still 21 btw)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ammie

.
Q. What is the difference between men and government
bonds?
A. The bonds mature.

---

I'm too mature, I'm 21, want to find mrs.right and get settled down, but have kids later when its financially viable.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ammie

.
Q.. Why are blonde jokes! so short?
A. So men can remember them.

---

Meh, got me on that one.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ammie

.
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of
toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.

---

Like I said, I live by myself, and it does happen :p

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ammie

.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,
caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.

---

Duh! It's because I live in England, and you live in the US so, like, you have never met me :P

all the rest is true though about married men
;)

lmfao hahahaahahah!!!! ur just to much sumtimes :p

Uh oh, here come the feminist joke threads!:rolleyes:

Loved by women everywhere who refuse to shave their pits

hahahahahahahahahaha!!!

[QUOTE=clevemire]Uh oh, here come the feminist joke threads!:rolleyes:

[QUOTE]



lol u know its funny i would be laughin if u guys posted jokes about us women :p

What do 50,00 battered women have in common?

They don't know when to shut up

--

What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing. You already told her twice.

---

yup
:D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by fatty lumps

What do 50,00 battered women have in common?

They don't know when to shut up

--

What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing. You already told her twice.

---

yup
:D

---

lmfao!!! thats classics :p

What did the man say after his wife told him that she wanted a watch for her birthday?
"whaddya need a damn watch for!? there's a clock on the stove!"
~007~

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by 00Ampersand

What did the man say after his wife told him that she wanted a watch for her birthday?
"whaddya need a damn watch for!? there's a clock on the stove!"
~007~

---

So, Tilde...how did you hear us? Hahahaha...Ok, tell me where the microphone is hidden!

i do the dishes but i dont fucking care much lmao.
when i cook i still do the dishes.
just so i can say-
see what a bad wife you are? :D

Why have women got small feet?

So that they can get closer to the sink!
:D