Stories about the most stoned you've ever been

Im on a laptop which has nearly minus power so going to have to wait till tomorrow evening till i post my story but has anyone got any good funny stories about the most stoned they have ever been (even funnier if you have to deal with the general non stoned public while your baked haha)

If i had some seeds id offer them as a prize for the best story but hey i dont but maybe someone could sort someone else out or something. and for ...aghhhh battery warning bye

went to hill street blues in amsterdam with my brother. i didnt smoke for two years before although all the time b4 that, anyway got there and bought some white widow packed out a j as you would with most bud that you would get in ireland at the time a minute pinch of bacci to keep it lighting. for tree hours we sat not able to function there was a small screen over our heads that we didnt notice when we came in and it seemed like everyone in there was looking at us, my brother thought we were spiked with acid or something. as the time passed i looked at the ashtray and low and behold there was still a third of the j left we hadnt even finished it. i mean tree hours of couch lck and jaw drop from two thirds of a j between two. our mate from dam met us and i rolled another when he saw the amount i put in he said i would get 3 good spliffs from that. turns out he new the people working there and got them to direct us to the wipe out table when we arived, there was also a loud speaker over our heads thet just pumped out this tune over and over. any way in hindsight it was funny but i guess u had to be there

lol thats a good one halo :p

The most stoned i can remeber being was my 18th birthday. I decided i wanted to make a cake for a laugh so i made a marsbar ricecrispy cake, The instructions said put 3.5 gram of average weed in so i put about 18 gram of skunk #1 in rolled 18 pure spliffs stuck them in for candles, before heading out or anything me and my best mate ate the whole thing and smoked the shit out of them candle spliffs, could not move, could not see, was tripping complete balls! but still managed to end up on a beach somewere then managed to end up at a reggae concert were i took a bunch of shrooms lol everything was a videotape until that point so i have no idea what happened next haha

classic ..

i remember the first time i smoked up.. was with my cousin. iwas about 14 . well we went half whack on a bit of blow.. it was good stuff. tho not soap.. all those years ago.. well we called for my cousins friend who i didnt know.. we sat up in his room with music on having a joint.. the his mate showed me his empty bird cage with everything still perfect.. he says the done a load of bongs and blew it into the birds face.. ten minutes later he said it droped.. hahaha. ne way.. i had never taken a bong so i said 2 my cousing to fill me one.. ok ok.. it wass a huge bong aboot 4 or 5ft. well i smoked it then sat back on his bed..
after about ten minutes of me just lying tthere listening to whats going on.. HIs big brother bursts in... ( hes very crazy, propbly in jail ) well he new i was whityin. and he started to fuck me about. like he jumped on me he was about 16 stone i was about 8st, next i got him off me and i started freakin out .. i thought he was seriously trying to kill me.. i was near crying at this point.. but no .. next he ruches in with a knife about half the fucking size of me.. i was lying on the bed and i was freakin so bad that i was screamin i was pushing the knife away but i thought it was stabbing me .. i shouted to my cousin and they both just laughed.. his big bro was a cunt he looked like such a psyco.. i thought i was dying.. but once he let me go after i was near in tears.. i started seeing all mad colours then i fell back into the bed and lay ther for about half an hour.. that was the first time i got whiped out.. nothin has ever been able to get me in that state since.. all that of one bong. jesus.

I have seeds for the winner.. ill post of sumfin.. i hav four left. ill not use them so who ever wins can have them.. it nl xx bb and a few other strains

Peace
tbb

LMFAOOOOOO! thats fucking hilarious man, thats something i'd do haha um did i win? haha

Hey,
This is an account of my first coffeeshop experience while I lived in Holland for four months.

Myself and two other friends found our first coffeeshop on the border of Amsterdam (we lived about 20 minutes on a bus away from the dam). The place was ironically called "The Border". So went in and after showing some ID we bought some weed and hash. I bought White Widow, One of my friends got some Northern Lights and the other got some Hashish I think it was super pollen. We all then rolled up a joint each. One of the joints was a pure one too. So I sparked my joint up and I swear to god that I was totally wrecked after about four tokes so I passed it on. Anyway the three joints were passed around and smoked in quite a few minutes (probably an hour but who could tell). The small little pure one is defiantly the one that did it for me. I tried to walk to the counter to get a drink and on my way nearly fell over twice while trying to avoid chairs and I was basically trying to conceal the laughter that was dying to erupt from within. Anyway after asking for a drink (an energy one!) I gave the person serving the money and the person made a joke (I can't remember it for the life of me) something about the three Irish lads in the corner doing their country proud or at least along those lines. I burst into laughter (tears were starting to appear now almost) and thanked the person and went back to rejoin my friends. I was still laughing but too stoned to explain what had happened and was defiantly too stoned to repeat the joke. My friends were wondering what the hell was going on but still they were laughing too. Anyway I sat there for a few minutes totally spaced out and there was really chilled music playing in the background that had me spaced out to the last while looking around at my surroundings (there was a few trippy things in the room and the couches had some many soft cushions on them in was so nice to just sit there)
Anyway then I had to watch my two friends try to go to the bar and get their own drinks. Now they were in a worse condition than I had been on my trip to the counter, as another joint or two had just gone round in the time since I attempted this mission. And I was just sitting there trying not too laugh to loud as one friend tried to explain what drink he wanted (the person serving couldn't understand my friend as the poor guy was too stoned and had too much of an Irish accent for the guy serving). He had been asking for a energy drink but each time he tried to pronounce it the words wouldn’t come out at all for him. Eventually he gave up and just asked for some coffee.
So we stayed there for a little while and the place was starting to fill up so we said we’d head on outside and get something to eat and see about heading to Amsterdam. The entrance to the back part of the room was this gate type thing which wouldn’t open manually (the person behind the counter presses a button to open it). I walked straight into the thing expecting it to open when my legs hit it. Ha ha, I nearly fell over the thing and then I spent a few seconds trying to force it open. The guy behind the bar had been busy and didn’t notice but once he did he just said hold on one second. So he pressed the buzzer and I must have been leaning on the gate cause I went flying when it opened and nearly fell straight into a wall. All three of us burst into laughter and I apologized. You’re man said it was grand (We spoke to him a few times on visits back and he always recalled the story and said he had always wanted to see someone do it).
So anyway we get out onto the street and first thing I notice is how damn bright it was, I had expected it to be dark. My eyes were bloodshot as hell and I could barely stand. Anyway we were walking towards the tram stop and we bumped into a Dutch cop who was on a bike. He said something in Dutch and we just stood there dumbfounded for a second (slightly paranoid alright) and then he spoke in English. He was just asking for a lighter. I tried to hand him one and I dropped it twice. He just smiled at me and said “First time in Holland yeah” and all I could do is mutter yeah while trying to refrain from crying from the laughter. He said cheers and cycled off.
So we were sitting at the tram stop waiting for the tram and we were just messing about cause we were so stoned and then we realized there was an old woman looking at us (she had been standing half hidden behind the tram stop) she just started rambling something in Dutch and we couldn’t stop laughing as we were explaining we don’t speak Dutch and she just kept going on and on. Eventually she copped on and stopped trying to communicate with us. We got onto the tram when it got there and my first mate who got on when asked “where to” he replied “Holland please” and I nearly fell off the tram with laughter. He quickly said “oh sorry I mean Amsterdam central”. We sat at the back off the tram and just had a great laugh on the trip up to Amsterdam central.
What happened in Amsterdam that day/night is a whole different story. I could probably write a book about it. But defiantly the best part of the day was getting to Amsterdam

Haha some classics there ... think we all got so fucked up the first time in the dam ... The first time i went over there I went with a "friend with benifits" (aka fuck buddie) and she wasn't a massive smoker, maybe tried it once or twice before meeting me haha. And has about 2 months training before hand. SO we get over there, throw our bags into the hotel and run for the nearest cafe ... i'm telling her about how to take it easy, don't take in too much cause its so much stronger then irish stuff and i had been smoking grass about 2 years and i was saying that i'd look after her ...

Well we got in there and went straight for white widow, half a joint later my mind had left my body! I was sooo baked and wanted to go to the toilet, couldnt stand up but struggled and got to my feet and went to the fella behind the counter, he was so sound before but started laughing when i asked wheres the toilet ... made me PARO!! didn't know why he was laughing i must be fucked i kept thinking ... till i got to the "stairs" it was a 7-8 foot drop to the bottom floor and the "stairs" is like 4 paddles, you know in college lecture rooms them tiny P shaped wood things that youve to write on... well 4 of them about 2 foot apart and i had to some how absail down. I had the whiteys big time! I have no idea how i got down but i did and felt so pleased with myself that i didnt snot myself that the whiteys went! I forgot to go to the toilet and climbed back up the paddles and started a fit of laughing! Telling the fella behind the counter that i liked his assault course.

The girl i was with had no idea what i was talking about and was just zoned out messing with her coffie, i sat down and got couch lock, had to ask her to go up and get some for the road :P ... she looked after me hahahahaha after everything i had said before i just jinxed myself. Was grand after i hit the air and went back the next day to show her the assault course and to thank the shop owner :) and of course for another joint and to get some pride back haha God i love being stoned!

lmfao!! fuck i wish i was a lightweight lol

Lmao!! Well here goes,took me a while (mainly cause I posted stories before under my alias lol!!]to write the damn thing and may not be as funny or as stupid lol as me bredrin here loljus fucjkin with ya!

Were to start huh fuck me the lst 10 year have been a haze of sex drugs and Mary Jane lol.Ok lets get the shit together.

Few year back myself and me best bud Rasta were in the dam for a little RnR (RELAXnREEFER) and for a few supplies lol.We started off with the Dampkrink cause we were just staying down the road.Little small talk with the dealer and we purchased some Mekong Haze just 2 grams before dinner.

We were just after gettin off the plane so we were still buzzin with the thoughts of the nice herb and hash ahead so talk was non exsistent lol.I rolled 4 one skin pure joints(dont and cant abide mixing good herb).Ordered few drinks and before we knew it we were finished all the herb.Couldnt beleive we were yapping for about an hour and just smoked up,anyway.

A girl of biggish proportions,now not fat just built so dont misundewrstand me you'l see we lol.She politely asked if she could join us,no problems we always welcome all fellow stoners.The ususal questions were thrown around then iigot to music likes and dislikes.I told here reggea and Rasta proudly anounced Chopped n Screwed and went into one like he always does cause damn does he know some shit about it.She asked us oh by the way her name eh lol I dunno lmao!!!!were we were from I told her which because of my heavy Dublin accent it took a while lol but we got there in the end.



She looked at me and said "were do you think I'm from"why oh why do women especially foreign ones always want to play guessing games,I said every country I could think eventually she looked at me we these mad eyes and scoweled ISRAEL Rasta looked at me and with our amazing stoned telepathy OK FREAK!No need to get ratty if you just hada said so like we normal well sorta did.

The conversation went back to music with me trying to break uneasiness.What sorta music do you like she looked at me again with that crazy stare Party music!Party Music is that like dance music no she replied Mushroom a Party music.I broke my bolox laughin straight into her face I thought she was shittin me sher said again Party music a Mushroom music we were like yeh your on mushrooms mad bitch!!!!

It got worse oh God a whole lot worse lmao!!

I noticed that joint I rolled wasnt even smoked at this stage we were GONE!! and when I say gone bredrin I mean it lol.We sat staring at this girl thinkin she was buzzin off us thinking we were knew to the DAm you know bredrin its not like I hadnt experienced it before.

I started to feel a little whitey comin on so I could feel a move had to be made but as I went to gather myself I looked staright at the girl and she just transformed into my Ma who god bless is dead 7 year and she started to laugh well my halluceination was lmao.I laughed out loud straight into youyr womans face,everyone turning and lookin she just stared at me.I snapped too and looked at rasta who at this stage was on the floor we got our stuff and left in hoop laughing.

I felt awful when I thought about it especially when I found out she wasnt talking shite.Im not normally like that but the herb just took over so I just hung on and enjoyed the ride even if I wasnt nicew to that poor,weird girl lmao!!!!

May there be many more!!:rastasmoke:

lmfaooo! thats some funny shit! your my type of toker! lol

Lmao!!!

I do try lol!!