near death

I'm having trouble talking about this with anyone I know so I figured this is a good place as any to get it out without having to get thrown into a mental institution.
My brother and I had a fight. He lundged at me with his legs in the air trying to do some kind of ninjitsu move or something. Anyway, I was cornered and kind of paniced. Just the idea of having a guys ass on my nutz frightens me. So I tried to twist out. Instead he landed on my back and had his legs around my ribs then choked me. I went unconscious while I was still standing, slamming him into a corner. Everything went black. Then moments later I was in a room with no walls. Everything was white. I felt lighter and thinner. Then I had some company. It set me on fire. Then I some how created a barrier. The longer I was there the hotter it got. Eventually the space around me started to turn into crystals. Until it formed a red diamond around me. I started to spin like a top but just in the one spot I was sitting. The entire area was on fire. That thing that was burning me started laughing. The sound shook my entire being. Anyway, back to the fire. It was like I was in a huge furnace. Then I shot straight up faster than anything I've ever seen. It almost felt like I was taking energy with me. I then exploded back into reality. I was in convusions but it felt more like I was being electricuted at a very high voltage. I didn't know who I was. But I heard a voice telling me I was being choked. I shouted at the top of my lungs to stop. I don't know how I did it. My throat was filled with blood and teeth. Not to mention I had no air for what seemed like years.
Maybe I'm being a tad over dramatic. But I think it's wrong to continue choking a person after they are unconscious. But I don't see myself as a victim here. I fought to the death so to speak. In my eyes there is nothing wrong with that. I just needed to get it out.

That's some heavy stuff, man. Really. I don't know what you saw, if you were in purgatory or if that vision came from inside your oxygen deprived brain... but holy fuck.

Maybe this is a sign that you should stay the fuck away from your crazy ass brother. :twocents:

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Originally Posted by afghooey

Maybe this is a sign that you should stay the fuck away from your crazy ass brother. :twocents:

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maybe...

You guys make a fine point. I totally agree with ya. My brother is an asshole. And you know what? That is the second time I seen that thing, I just realized it now. I had a dream about it about a year ago. Must be some kind of creation in my mind. I seen a lot of fucked up shit like human butcherings an such but I don`t dwell on it. You`re only a victim unless you let yourself be one eh, so what`s that point.

dude, i dream about mass murder all the time too...but i think what you were seeing was a product of your mind + oxygen deprivation.
theres this thing called the chokcing game that some dumbasses play where they (duh) choke eachother until they almost pass out and then trip.

I'd press charges in this case. That your brother was so nuts as to actually keep choking you after you passed out, is downright insane. I don't know if you means literally "ninjitsu kick", as in he takes ninjitsu classes, but if you pressed charges the school just may kick him out and have his name on the martial arts black list. A person with as little control and discipline as your brother should not be learning the fighting arts.

He doesn't learn the fighting arts. He watches that tv show from time to time. I probably have more fighting experience then he does. I did some boxing for awhile. As for throwing him in jail. I don't know about that one. I might have agree'd with you before this happened. Things have changed since then. Is asking the government to force their ideals on him the right thing to do? I don't like the way the government works. It doesn't seem like the right answer. He damaged me so I must damage him back? That doesn't seem right either.

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Originally Posted by Moose101

He doesn't learn the fighting arts. He watches that tv show from time to time. I probably have more fighting experience then he does. I did some boxing for awhile. As for throwing him in jail. I don't know about that one. I might have agree'd with you before this happened. Things have changed since then. Is asking the government to force their ideals on him the right thing to do? I don't like the way the government works. It doesn't seem like the right answer. He damaged me so I must damage him back? That doesn't seem right either.

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You make some good points Moose. While I certainly don't have all the answers for rehabilitating a person in need of it, jail usually doens't turn somebody into a better person. I mean, they take somebody with a criminal mentality, put them in an environment where they have to survive against predators, and ally with other criminals, then have the stupidity to say at the end "do you feel you've been rehabilitated?". That would rehabilitate a person like throwin a vicious dog in a pit full of other vicious dogs would rehabilitate it.

Well, anyway I don't know what to do about your brother, maybe just mention to him when you're on better terms to consider the risk of killing you after your unconscious, and if he's ready to do that.

[quote=MastaChronic]dude, i dream about mass murder all the time too...QUOTE]


I didn't say anything about dreaming.

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Originally Posted by Moose101

I'm having trouble talking about this with anyone I know so I figured this is a good place as any to get it out without having to get thrown into a mental institution.
My brother and I had a fight. He lundged at me with his legs in the air trying to do some kind of ninjitsu move or something. Anyway, I was cornered and kind of paniced. Just the idea of having a guys ass on my nutz frightens me. So I tried to twist out. Instead he landed on my back and had his legs around my ribs then choked me. I went unconscious while I was still standing, slamming him into a corner. Everything went black. Then moments later I was in a room with no walls. Everything was white. I felt lighter and thinner. Then I had some company. It set me on fire. Then I some how created a barrier. The longer I was there the hotter it got. Eventually the space around me started to turn into crystals. Until it formed a red diamond around me. I started to spin like a top but just in the one spot I was sitting. The entire area was on fire. That thing that was burning me started laughing. The sound shook my entire being. Anyway, back to the fire. It was like I was in a huge furnace. Then I shot straight up faster than anything I've ever seen. It almost felt like I was taking energy with me. I then exploded back into reality. I was in convusions but it felt more like I was being electricuted at a very high voltage. I didn't know who I was. But I heard a voice telling me I was being choked. I shouted at the top of my lungs to stop. I don't know how I did it. My throat was filled with blood and teeth. Not to mention I had no air for what seemed like years.
Maybe I'm being a tad over dramatic. But I think it's wrong to continue choking a person after they are unconscious. But I don't see myself as a victim here. I fought to the death so to speak. In my eyes there is nothing wrong with that. I just needed to get it out.

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Wow thats some crazy shit dude. Your bro is defentley fucked up. But anyways about your vision. You see their is a chemical in your brain called DMT. It is a hallucinogen that is released in very small doses when we sleep which is what causes our dreams. When you die all of this DMT is released at once causing you to basicley trip balls for 7 minutes or something like that. Well triping that hard will seem like eternity. This is what causes the "After-Life." So basicley your afterlife is whatever you think it will be. Now im no doctor but what i think is that you saw your brains vision of "Hell." I think the thing burning you was your perception of "Satin." And the feeling of you shooting upwards is your mind leaving "Hell" and shooting back up into your body. Many people have these near death experiences. An old friend of mine drowned in a pool. And got the feeling of floating up into his perception of "Heven." And then when he was entering the clouds he got the feeling of shooting down back to his body.

So you see its more common then you think. So theirs no shame in telling anyone about this. If you were to talk to a doctor about this then they would just explain to you about the release of DMT. But if your really worried about what people think about it then you could go to a therapist and talk to them. They have a confidentiality agreement that they cant repeat anything unless its about killing yourself or anyone else. So legally they wouldnt be able to say shit.

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Originally Posted by Antihero867

Wow thats some crazy shit dude. Your bro is defentley fucked up. But anyways about your vision. You see their is a chemical in your brain called DMT. It is a hallucinogen that is released in very small doses when we sleep which is what causes our dreams. When you die all of this DMT is released at once causing you to basicley trip balls for 7 minutes or something like that. Well triping that hard will seem like eternity. This is what causes the "After-Life." So basicley your afterlife is whatever you think it will be. Now im no doctor but what i think is that you saw your brains vision of "Hell." I think the thing burning you was your perception of "Satin." And the feeling of you shooting upwards is your mind leaving "Hell" and shooting back up into your body. Many people have these near death experiences. An old friend of mine drowned in a pool. And got the feeling of floating up into his perception of "Heven." And then when he was entering the clouds he got the feeling of shooting down back to his body.

So you see its more common then you think. So theirs no shame in telling anyone about this. If you were to talk to a doctor about this then they would just explain to you about the release of DMT. But if your really worried about what people think about it then you could go to a therapist and talk to them. They have a confidentiality agreement that they cant repeat anything unless its about killing yourself or anyone else. So legally they wouldnt be able to say shit.

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Hey Moose. I'd say what anti-hero supplied here is a fairly standard interpretation you'd get, based upon standard individual psych. Meaning that your beliefs of heaven, hell and an afterlife would all potentially change the meaning of the symbolism involved. Personally, I'd chalk it up more to stress and possibly high adrenaline rather than DMT, which is much harder to trigger the release of. I actually doubt you were close enough to death, since you woke back out of it. But miracles have happened before and I could be wrong.
I'd suggest definately talking to a psychologist or councilor about some of these issues, both your vision and your relationship with your brother. This requires someone with a good understanding of your background to really help you work it out, more than you can probably find online.

Honestly I think you might have issues that go far beyond your experience. You seem to represent yourself as a very individualistic and self-responsible spirit. I'm surprised that your brother was able to basically take you down with some ninja kick he learned from watching television, it runs counter to all of my own martial experience. Just how old is your brother, and you for that matter? And where did the blood and teeth come from?
I wonder why you're worried about being thought of as insane for a dream/vision you had while being choked out unless you feel that there is a certain reality to it. Some personal sense of power coming from this hell dimension of yours. I wonder if you're having trouble telling your dreams apart from reality. And on that note, I wonder what the reality of this entire situation really is.

[quote=Moose101][quote=MastaChronic]dude, i dream about mass murder all the time too...

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I didn't say anything about dreaming.

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i know you didnt, but i do, plus i watch a lot of stuff on youtube or wherever i can find it.

im sure you would love all the footage on liveleak unless you already know of it, perfect psychotic website

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Originally Posted by Polymirize

I'm surprised that your brother was able to basically take you down with some ninja kick he learned from watching television, it runs counter to all of my own martial experience.

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Well I didn't want to sound like a poor looser. I was kicking his ass before that happened. But I'm not what I used to be. I guess that's what really got me into that position in the first place. When I was 18 I was running 5km as a warm up before weight training, every single day. At 18 I was 5'10" and 180lbs. I could do a standing round kick x2 and land on the other side of the room. Walk on my hands. Kick the ceiling. I didn`t watch TV or take any martial arts. It was just a way of distracting myself from real issues. My exercises were directed towards being toned. I was 180 lbs but most people thought I was closer to 120lbs. I was agile, and if I was 18 again I would have been agile and alert enough to twist out of that corner before he landed. But I`m not anymore. I broke both my legs and shattered my ankle shortly after I was 18. Now I`m a fat ass that weighs a hundred pounds more. What I should have done is just slam him.

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Originally Posted by Polymirize

Just how old is your brother, and you for that matter? And where did the blood and teeth come from?

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I`m 25 and my brother is 26. I ate my tongue and teeth when I was convulsing. I also hacked up a filling, that wasn`t pleasent. There were other uncontrolled body fuctions if you must know.

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Originally Posted by Polymirize

I wonder why you're worried about being thought of as insane for a dream/vision you had while being choked out unless you feel that there is a certain reality to it.

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If someone else told me this story; even now I would call up the wacko police.

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Originally Posted by Polymirize

Some personal sense of power coming from this hell dimension of yours. I wonder if you're having trouble telling your dreams apart from reality. And on that note, I wonder what the reality of this entire situation really is.

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Hmm, you know what? I think this is hell. If Satan had choice in the matter I`m sure he would send me back. Cause I would much rather burn for eternity than be back here. When I was there I felt myself burn. Maybe I didn`t smell my flesh or hear it burn but I sure felt it. As for that barrier, it was instictive. But I felt my mind expand around myself. And that laughing, it also felt real. That reality of the situation is my subconscious wants to believe it`s real because I experienced those feelings. Although, I am inclined to believe the oxygen deprivation because I refuse to believe I revived myself without the help of cpr or any kind of outside assistance.

BTW, throughout my life the government assigned me several doctors, phyciatrists, therapists, and councillars. They only made things worse. I`m not going back to that.

Reading this whole thread has been crazy. (good crazy not bad)
And you said you had other uncontrolled bodily functions? well i read that happens after you die. like, your bowels release and stuff. the etc.

And stay away from your brother.

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Originally Posted by Moose101

BTW, throughout my life the government assigned me several doctors, phyciatrists, therapists, and councillars. They only made things worse. I`m not going back to that.

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Well therapist arnt bad. They are paid to listen, give their advice, and keep their mouth shut. Psychiatrists on the other hand are paid to prescribe pills. And companys will pay them to prescribe more of their pills. Its all about the money these days. Im not supprised that youve had bad expriences with psychiatrists because i have too. When i was a kid they tested just about every ADD and ADHD pill invented on me. Because what kid in his right mind has trouble paying attention in school. And all of the sudden i was hyperactive because i diddnt want to stop playing to do my homework. Umm............ yea that sounds like about every kid in the world to me. Anyways my point is that psychiatrists think that a pill can solve everything. And thats not the truth. Pills only make things worse sometimes. So if you do seek help dealing with all this then dont let people tell you that your abnormal because of your experience. Because trust me, their are plenty of people in the world who have had these experiences too. So if someone tries to tell you that your crazy then you have the right to tell them to fuck off. And you have science to back you up and show them that it happens more often thain you think.

If you are 25 and your brother is 26 and you are still fighting like kids you both need to get therapy... really I am not being mean.

It is not normal to beat and choke each other at this age. Unless you are both cognitively impaired in which case I'm sorry and you need to talk to your care giver.

I thought this post was from a 14 year old kid.

I'm with Polyrimize....

Ahh, the high and mighty. Don't stop there BlueCat. Please continue your rape.

BTW, seeing how we are raping eachother. How bout this; judgement is far more violent than any fist. The world seems to be proving this quite well.

Evidently you and your bros judgement is pretty damn violent... You just posted to a public forum that at 25 and 26 years of age you and your brother pound each other brains out. Don't play the victim here own up to your behavior.

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Originally Posted by Moose101

Hmm, you know what? I think this is hell. If Satan had choice in the matter I`m sure he would send me back. Cause I would much rather burn for eternity than be back here. When I was there I felt myself burn. Maybe I didn`t smell my flesh or hear it burn but I sure felt it. As for that barrier, it was instictive. But I felt my mind expand around myself. And that laughing, it also felt real. That reality of the situation is my subconscious wants to believe it`s real because I experienced those feelings. Although, I am inclined to believe the oxygen deprivation because I refuse to believe I revived myself without the help of cpr or any kind of outside assistance.

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I don't know why you consider this a near-death experience, when from what I can tell, you just passed out. Granted you passed out while your brother was choking you, but you apparently came to almost immediately afterwards, requiring no resucitation at all. That's not near death, that's just blacking out. Frat boys all across the nation do that on a regular basis. Certainly not healthy, but its not going to kill you, though your brother might.

As for the above, and this being hell; well, life is what we make of it isn't it? Your mental barrier sounds like a neat trick, I usually end up flying in my dreams. Of course, being able to seperate dreams from reality is important, or else I'd do something foolish like jumping off a cliff.
Reality is what it is, not what we want it to be. Sometimes it surprises us because its not always what we think, but that's not the same thing exactly.

You're really vested into this for a reason I can't quite understand although I have my theories. Judgement isn't always a bad thing. Just because someone isn't supporting your potential delusions doesn't mean they don't have your best interests at heart. Find someone to talk to about this, or about your feelings that this world is hell. Be well.