Anybody else here in chronic pain?

Your first thought is probably "why didn't he post this in the medical forum?". Well, because I'm not looking for solutions, support, or even a discussion over the condition. I just wanted to ask those who like myself, live in chronic pain, are your friends total assholes too?

Maybe that's a bit harsh, I mean they're still my friends and probably always will be, but I feel like calling them assholes. More and more I can just tell, they're getting sick of me and my pain issues. I can constantly feel this tension in the air, this "oh, there goes mike again with his whining, acting like it's 10 times worse than it really is."
I RARELY actually complain about it, and every time I'm over at their place I'm putting a 110% effort the whole time to contain any reactions and pretend I'm doing just fine, like smiling and laughing and all that while TRYING (damn hard) to ignore the massive pain going through all my muscles and bones.
But sometimes, like last night, it just gets to be way too much and I can't deal with it. Yesterday when I was over there I was sitting with the guys, chatting and all that, and the pain got excrutiating (regardless of being pumped full of enough painkillers to kill Robert Downy Jr., which barely do anything anyways). So I quietly went upstairs, without a word, and curled up on the couch barely holding myself together. Then 5 minutes later they started moving out all the furniture, which we planned to do earlier. So they carry these big heavy couches upstairs and see me lying there on the couch, not offering to help, and one says in a pissy tone "gee, thanks for helping Mike", and I heard my other friend say "ah that's just Mike being useless with his back again, always whining about it" (trying to say it quietly, but I heard).

It pisses me off enough that because 5 years ago it started with a back and neck injury, they think that's all it is, a bad back and a stiff neck. It's gone WAY beyond that and even my doctors are baffled as to why i'm only getting worse instead of better. I have constant pain in every muscle in my body, sciatica burning in both legs (that seems to now go to the front for some reason), and needles going down arms... not to mention the constant throbbing pain through my whole body. But do these assholes care? No, they just get sick of my supposed whining and keep giving me this bullshit of "quit killing your liver, you don't need painkillers, it's all in your head". Fucking hell I wish I could make them both feel like I do at my worst, then see what a mental tole it takes after several years. With all my experience I could probably take pain levels with a shrug that would make them cry like babies.

But yeah, in case anybody forgot through my long angry ranting, I'm just wondering if your friends (assuming your in pain too) are a bunch of idiot assholes too about it.

I live with lots of pain, My joints are bad, especialy my elbows and shoulders. I also use a wheel chair since I was 17, 30 now. It's easy for others to not grasp what we go through.

Fortuntately the only pain I get is from immeadiate injuries and aren't long lasting. I feel for the ones who do have chronic pain. Best of health to ya all.

My back. Long story, cant be bothed to explain. Basically i broke it, and then fucked it up again. My mates were wankers... pushing me mucking around, but once i sat down and got comfortable i threw a deoderant can at his head.

But that pissed me off. I couldnt sit down, lay down stand up crouch, fart, piss, shit or anything... i couldnt even fucking put my throusers on and then i fell over and hit my head on a fucking toilet [was getting changed in the bathroom] and nearly knocked myself out on the seat... and then they run upstairs to see what i've banged... so im laying there with a lump on my head and my trousers half on and half of looking dazed... you can iamgine what those cunts said rofl... its funny now, but at the time [summer last year] it was fucking annoying really got me pissed off.

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Originally Posted by bavet

I live with lots of pain, My joints are bad, especialy my elbows and shoulders. I also use a wheel chair since I was 17, 30 now. It's easy for others to not grasp what we go through.

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Same boat Bavet ,
been in the 'ole w/c for 6 1/2 yrs. now .
until someones lived a day in our shoes it's kinda hard for others to understand .
peace
your cuz
crispi :)

I have chronic headaches...have had them for at least 10 years....all tests are normal but I know something's causing them. I sometimes think I am allergic to life, but who the hell knows! It sucks, though...sometimes they are REALLY bad!

I think if we let ourselves get really mad at those that really don't understand we will just find ourselves angry ALL THE TIME.

The truth is THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND. Can you really be mad at someone that can't relate to how you feel?
Don't let the anger eat at you.

Thinking someone who has not broken their back or experiended this type of serious injury will understand what you are going through is a waste of energy. If you have never lived it... even your most understanding well meaning friend will never really understand.

We have to be the understanding ones. I understand that my family will never know what it feels like to have so many broken bones so I accept that. I laugh along with them and I accept it. I except that some days will be harder than others.

It is the only way you will be happy again Mr.devious and Lip.
You actually are doing what is best when you comment here looking for others that can understand exactly what you are going through.

I think that we feel quilty a lot of the time. I bet you felt bad because you really wanted to help move the furniture with your friends so maybe your guilt compounded your anger a little and you may have taken the remarks you overheard a little more to heart than you would normally.

Just don't let their comments get to you. They don't understand so it is not really their fault.

laughing things off is good and it is ok when an innocent remark really gets to you.... somedays are harder than others just know that things will get better and don't let it play in your head too long. :)

I am glad you are here Mr.D and you too Lip...I know exactly how you feel. Back injuries can make your entire body hurt. Just know its OK to have bad days....and savor the good ones :D

On bad days I like to find really funny videos and laugh my ass off.....

This is a great place to hang out when you need to cheer up :D

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Originally Posted by JR77

I have chronic headaches...have had them for at least 10 years....all tests are normal but I know something's causing them. I sometimes think I am allergic to life, but who the hell knows! It sucks, though...sometimes they are REALLY bad!

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I sometimes think I am allergic to life,

I love that statement! I bet everyone can relate to that.

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Originally Posted by xcrispi

Same boat Bavet ,
been in the 'ole w/c for 6 1/2 yrs. now .
until someones lived a day in our shoes it's kinda hard for others to understand .
peace
your cuz
crispi :)

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Oh geez you said the same thing it took me an entire page to say ;)

*big hug*

MR, D
I can relate, its about the quality of life, and it sucks when you are in pain all the time....

hang in there, and I hope you get better.

Im, not going to get into it, but i had some shit wrong with me I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy......

I was in BAD pain from 97-05.

Your real freinds will hang with you and understand... the others??? fuck em.


Get a second and third fourth opinion?

are you on pain Killers?

I am the biggest ( yes even bigger) asshole when Im on those.

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Originally Posted by BlueCat

I sometimes think I am allergic to life,

I love that statement! I bet everyone can relate to that.

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take 2 benadryl and call me in the morning....LOL

Ok that was funny...:D

whether they understand your pain or not,they are not your friends when they act like that...

have you tried acupuncture???

Thank god I don't have that kind of pain,,,I had constant chest pain,,,but lowering my BP has seemed to stop it for the time being...

I've had multiple back surgeries too and know very well what you are talking about. But my so-called friends bitch about my seemingly laziness while all the time waiting to hear how many of my pain pills I can spare for their fun! Needless to say I am not very close with the majority of my acquaintances but feel fortunate for the 3 or 4 real friends around me!

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Originally Posted by Skink

whether they understand your pain or not,they are not your friends when they act like that...

have you tried acupuncture???

Thank god I don't have that kind of pain,,,I had constant chest pain,,,but lowering my BP has seemed to stop it for the time being...

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Take Valerian root! It really lowers your BP and it helps you sleep too.

My husband hates taking any medicine and he has high BP and needed to increase his life insurance. He knew they would send a nurse out to take his BP so he took Valerian root for a week before she came and it worked! His BP has been high for over 10 years! We were really impressed because he has tried all the prescription pills and the side effects were bad so he would stop.

He takes Valerian everyday now with Fish oil capsules. <--- if you take one thing take fish oil it really is good for your heart.:)

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Originally Posted by madeline

I've had multiple back surgeries too and know very well what you are talking about. But my so-called friends bitch about my seemingly laziness while all the time waiting to hear how many of my pain pills I can spare for their fun! Needless to say I am not very close with the majority of my acquaintances but feel fortunate for the 3 or 4 real friends around me!

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That is terrible...so called friends is right...grrrrrrr

That sucks. I'm too young to be in pain like that (i think), but I know where your coming from. My dad has bad knees, back, ankles, etc.

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Originally Posted by BlueCat

Take Valerian root! It really lowers your BP and it helps you sleep too.

My husband hates taking any medicine and he has high BP and needed to increase his life insurance. He knew they would send a nurse out to take his BP so he took Valerian root for a week before she came and it worked! His BP has been high for over 10 years! We were really impressed because he has tried all the prescription pills and the side effects were bad so he would stop.

He takes Valerian everyday now with Fish oil capsules. <--- if you take one thing take fish oil it really is good for your heart.:)

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I take cod liver oil... thanks I will look into Valerian root... losing 20 pounds did wonders for me... I was on Hydrochlorot and it worked,,,I said no to beta blockers right from the start...

A trapped nerve in my back makes my legs hurt constantly and can make them just give way, which can be a touch embarasing if it happens at the wrong moment :mad:
BUT ! I consider myself lucky considering the shit I've put my body through, I would even go so far as to say I'm lucky to even be alive at all. :D ;) :cool:

I've not had to experience chronic pain yet, fortunately. But the things I've read here over these last months have taught me so much about people who suffer with it. I will never take that complaint lightly when the time comes that I finish my medical degree and begin treating patients. I've learned so much from the people here about pain and handling it with dignity. There's a real art to dealing with it with dignity, too, for care providers and practitioners. Thanks for helping teach me, Mr. Devious. So sorry your circle of friends isn't more understanding.

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Originally Posted by birdgirl73

I've not had to experience chronic pain yet, fortunately. But the things I've read here over these last months have taught me so much about people who suffer with it. I will never take that complaint lightly when the time comes that I finish my medical degree and begin treating patients. I've learned so much from the people here about pain and handling it with dignity. There's a real art to dealing with it with dignity, too, for care providers and practitioners. Thanks for helping teach me, Mr. Devious. So sorry your circle of friends isn't more understanding.

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I think that is wonderful...you are going to make the best doctor :D

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Originally Posted by psychocat

A trapped nerve in my back makes my legs hurt constantly and can make them just give way, which can be a touch embarasing if it happens at the wrong moment :mad:
BUT ! I consider myself lucky considering the shit I've put my body through, I would even go so far as to say I'm lucky to even be alive at all. :D ;) :cool:

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SO what did you do...are you a snow boarder? One of my kids snowboards and the other climbs mountains...it is like they wake up and say what can we do to scare the crap out of mom today....

And my middle son decided he and his girlfriend would hike across central America....I did not sleep for 3 months!

I broke and dislocated my ankle (yeah, at the same time) so my ankle is pretty screwed I get constant pain with it but in Winter (like now) its at its worst. Put me in a wheelchair for 3 months (no shit)

In my other leg (Knee) I have Osgood Schlatters disease - not common in adults but I got it nonetheless.

I was pretty athletic back then but not now as you could guess.

I also have IBD but thankfully Mary Jane is excellent symptomatic relief from pain and spasms.

Living in the UK I have no access to medical MJ so I am a criminal.

I can't hold a lot of regular jobs because of my health - nearly lost my last job due to sickness. So I started my own business and I can live how I want.

In a way I'm one of the lucky ones, I can deal with it and I have a very understanding and loving partner.

In a way I'm one of the lucky ones, I can deal with it and I have a very understanding and loving partner.

Me too Delta that is so important to have support...

It is not good seeing so many people on this thread with problems but it is nice to know there is a place we can all meet...

and just think weed brought us together how cool is that!

Let me be the first to YELL a communal OUCH!! for everyone here...

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Originally Posted by BlueCat

SO what did you do...are you a snow boarder?

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I'm a lifelong biker who always believed that I was indestructible. :D
I've had lots of broken bones and suffered road rash a couple of times, I've been run over by a Mercedes , luckily it only went over my arm. :p
I used to go free climbing and I've taken a couple of bad tumbles because I got too arrogant and forgot the basic rules :o

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Originally Posted by BlueCat

And my middle son decided he and his girlfriend would hike across central America....I did not sleep for 3 months!

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I must have given my old lady many sleepless nights over the years, I suppose it took me a while to realise that sometimes it was better not to tell my mam what I was thinking because my thoughts scared her. I was a constant worry for her I guess, moms will always want the best for thier kids and I see now that she thought I was reckless (I was:D ) and a danger to myself (I still am to a degree :o ).

I've broken every major bone in my body , some of them more than once, I've never broken my back though.

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Originally Posted by psychocat

I'm a lifelong biker who always believed that I was indestructible. :D
I've had lots of broken bones and suffered road rash a couple of times, I've been run over by a Mercedes , luckily it only went over my arm. :p
I used to go free climbing and I've taken a couple of bad tumbles because I got too arrogant and forgot the basic rules :o



I must have given my old lady many sleepless nights over the years, I suppose it took me a while to realise that sometimes it was better not to tell my mam what I was thinking because my thoughts scared her. I was a constant worry for her I guess, moms will always want the best for thier kids and I see now that she thought I was reckless (I was:D ) and a danger to myself (I still am to a degree :o ).

I've broken every major bone in my body , some of them more than once, I've never broken my back though.

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Damn...well have you decided to retire to the ranks of laid back hippy? :)

I sure hope so...

That seems the be the common rule with you guys...don't tell mom till you complete the jump or (insert whatever scary thing you want here) :D

I am still a year round biker, only pussies garage for winter (lol).
I have become a little more sensible but I doubt I will ever be a truly safety concious person.
Like I said I can't really complain because it's a result of pushing the boundaries to get that adrenalin kick, everything has a price. I refuse to allow it to stop me riding but I suppose one day I will have to face the limits of getting older.