To all you parents out there...Some questions

I am not a parent or a kid. I am 40 years old and will never have kids.

But I was curious.. When and what are you going to tell your kids about Marijuana?

Are you going to be honest and open about it?

Are you going to say "Do as I say not as I do"?

If you are open about it what are you going to tell them about the dangers of talking about it to others.

One of the reasons I ask is a few years ago in an area in the south there was some DARE officers that did a presentation at a school. They showed some pot and let kids smell it. One of the little girls told the officers she recognized the smell from home.

I think the girl was in like 2 or 3rd grade. The results of this was the girls parents getting busted for their personal grow.

I do not have to tell you they lost custody of there little girl. The girl had no idea what she was saying, I mean she was just a little girl. Kids don't know how serious this is.

Just curious about what you thought.

For our son, who's pretty well grown now at 20, he's always heard factual info on drugs, and we both were honest and told him we'd tried weed in college when he asked as a teenager. He's known since he was old enough to handle it and understand what we were saying (9th grade or so) that there's a lot of propoganda about weed in particular and that it is not the same as other harder drugs. Before that, I didn't mind him getting the usual anti-drug teachings in school because, frankly, I didn't want him dabbling in any illicit substance, even cannabis. When he got old enough to understand and be curious, he knew the rule was that he could try it once he got to college, but he had potential drug testing for athletics in high school and so didn't need or want to mess that up anyway. As it turns out, weed-smoking wasn't his thing, which is quite fine with me.

It's probably worth pointing out here that I'm not actually a practicing cannabis smoker myself. I'm a cannabis advocate. I enjoyed it in college socially, and then had a long, 23-year break until last summer, when we got some to help my older sister, a cancer patient, with her chemo symptoms. I toked with her when she was going through that and enjoyed it again, but it wasn't something I could easily continue doing since I'm trying to succeed in medical school, and frankly the shady business of trying to obtain it illegally is an obstacle for me. My husband is a physician, and he doesn't smoke, either, and would be risking his license if he dabbled in anything illegal. We're informed enough that we know cannabis is far less harmful than alcohol for recreational use, however, and that it badly needs to be made available for medical use everywhere. Anyway, having cannabis in the house or using it when my son was growing up was a non-issue for us. When I found some medical-grade cannabis for my sister last summer, I was candid with our son about what we were doing and simply asked him to keep that information private, and he did.

My son, because he has parents with medical backgrounds, has always known more than average about both mainstream pharmaceuticals and illicit substances. Fortunately, he's smart and sensible and old enough now to know the straight goods on cannabis. Like I said, though, when he was younger, the propaganda didn't bother me too much. Kids aren't exactly discerning creatures when they're young and can't understand the subtleties of differences among substances like they can when they're older. I can definitely say that if we had been active cannabis smokers when he was growing up, we'd have kept that secret from him.

That's a good question. My husband and I plan never to smoke in front of the children- we plan to vaporize in private so the smell is not a question. It is something, like our sex life, that we plan to keep private from our kids. I do anticipate a time when we may have to discuss it with them, and hope I will find the right words to explain. There is a book called It's Just a Plant that might be useful for broaching the subject. I grow a lot of plants, and only a few of them are cannabis, so I am hoping it won't be noticable.
If so, I would have to stop growing - but that would expose us to having to buy from dealers, something we really wish to avoid.

Should my husband and I also quit smoking then? If it came to that, I know I could, but it is a fact that using it relieves my depression and anxiety, without side effects, while the pharmacuetical medicines have many unpleasant side effects. I have tried both for many years. Of course, the unfair law hurts many other people who are suffereing much more because they are unable to obtain this herbal relief, and we all know the reasons for its prohibition have nothing to do with any health consequences to users.
I believe that "injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere" and perhaps that is not such a bad lesson for kids to learn. I hope when they are older, they will realize the folly of such laws, and help to change them. But until the kids are older, I will do everything I can do to shield them from our private actvities. It's funny, when I was a kid, both of my parents were knock-down alcoholics, and their behavior was no secret to anyone. I wish I did not have to hide our innocuous use of the herb, but as long as it is illegal, I think it is wisest to keep it a very adult secret.

i teach my kids what they need to know
my son who is 10 is very mature when it comes to marijuana
i am open about my use and it is not an issue
we live in a place where mostly everyone does some wrong shit
when my sons peers ask him to get high or drunk he will be comfortable
saying no cuz he really aint interested.

i think it looks worse when parents hide shit like that cuz it looks bad
when the truth does come out. if you always say not to do something
and then get caught doing it then all the respect you earned is lost
just be honest and live righteous and smoke on patners

I'd much rather have my kids smoking weed than getting drunk, and as kids do, over doing it and getting alcohol poisoning.

Although, i'd prefer it if they smoked it in the house, at least then they're safe.

I wouldnt lie to them though, cos as soon as they find out they wont trust you.

I agree, it isn't good to lie, but I don't think I will need to lie. When I do talk to the kids about marijuana, as I intend to, I will tell them my true feelings about it - that it is an herb that helps people's pain, and that for a variety of bad reasons, it is illegal in this country, etc.
But keeping my own use a secret until they are old enough to understand seems the best way for me - it isn't as if I would deny anything- if I was ever asked, I would sit them down and explain (just like when they ask me about sex!) but until that point, they needn't know every medicine I use, anymore than they need to know what daddy and I do under the covers....
I feel the same as you same as you about alcohol; if there is a choice, I would much prefer kids smoke pot at home and munch out and watch a movie or whatever, than to drink and drive around drunk- And if pot wasn't illegal, I would have no problem with the kids smoking once they were 18.

It's just that our kids are going to be adopted orphans from a war-torn country, whose limited command of the English language and post-tramatic stress and various other physical and emotional concerns are going to be more important to me initially. It isn't the average family scenario, that's for sure.

Since I stopped drinking in 1984, I have been an inveterate truth-teller, but I will postpone broaching the subject with the kids until they are ready to deal with it. That is what seems the most sensible right now...

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Originally Posted by ericwt

I am not a parent or a kid. I am 40 years old and will never have kids.

But I was curious.. When and what are you going to tell your kids about Marijuana?

Are you going to be honest and open about it?

Are you going to say "Do as I say not as I do"?

If you are open about it what are you going to tell them about the dangers of talking about it to others.

One of the reasons I ask is a few years ago in an area in the south there was some DARE officers that did a presentation at a school. They showed some pot and let kids smell it. One of the little girls told the officers she recognized the smell from home.

I think the girl was in like 2 or 3rd grade. The results of this was the girls parents getting busted for their personal grow.

I do not have to tell you they lost custody of there little girl. The girl had no idea what she was saying, I mean she was just a little girl. Kids don't know how serious this is.

Just curious about what you thought.

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my wife probably isn't going to like it... but she doesn't nessicarily see things the way i do... anyways.. i will educate my son about it.. i can't tell you when i will, becasue it's one of those things you just start seeing signs to, and then it's time to tell them about it, there's no set age... just like sex, when you start seeing signs they're getting sexually involved with someone, it's time to talk about it... you have to wait until the child is ready, and capable of understanding what you're saying.

i won't be one of 'those parents' and you know what i mean.. i do it now, obviously, i'm not going to turn around and say 'it's bad evil and you will not do it and blah blah' even if i have long since quit smoking... i will be like this with all subjects... and if there's some new thing i don't know about, i will educate myself on the facts, before i even talk to him about it.. since i was 10 or younger, i made a decision, and that decision was when i had kid(s) i would listen to the subject at hand, take in the feelings associated, educate myself with the facts on it (if needed, if i already know about it, i don't really need to go and research do i? lol) and make a calm rational decision over it...

if my kid grows up, and starts smoking weed, i won't try to stop him... i honestly won't.. cuz we all know, if the kid wants to do it, HE WILL, so why even bother with trying to stop it, atleast with something as harmful as marijuana... i will however, ask that he only does it in the house, and does not go around telling everyone, ask that he keeps it as close to himself as he possibly can... (assuming it's still illegal then) so he doesn't create waves for himself, or us (the parents) i'd rather have him doing it in the house, where it's 'safe' so to speak, then running around the street, doing it god knows where and risking a shit storm over it....

there's always going to be things parents don't agree with their kids doing, but some of those things, even alot of them, are perfectly harmless... (virtually) i don't really see the point in banishing it out of the saftey of their home... especially when that decision will likely, just end up with it coming back on him or us... it just doesn't make sense...

i will tell my son, EVERYTHING i know about it, not just the dangers, i'll also tell him what it has to offer, spiritually, emotionally, and medicinally.... a person can only make a good decision, based on what they know, knowledge is power, there's no point in leaving out certain parts of a 'truth' to try and influence the decision... i want my sons decisions to be right ones, not based on half hidden truths....

good question well i use cannabis for medical reasons and have a valid script and i obey state and local limits i dont smoke in front of my kids and there a little young for talking about it but i dont hide it them when they are older i will teach them proper facts about the herd and let them draw there own conclusion about it i dont agree with minors smoking (at least not my minors to each thair own) i think that cannabis should be for adult use kinda like cigg's and booze
i hope this helps answer your question


-Bomb:rastasmoke:

My daughter has been actively involved in my growing. (She's five!) I find that she loves to watch the many phases and all the work involved. Although it's very hard to explain marijuana to a five year old, I have tried to be as open and honest as her age allows. I've explained what "drugs" are and I've told her the positives and negetives of marijuana and as much of its' history as she can swallow. My beliefs are that she is the future and there is nothing better in this world than children with open minds. Many people underestimate the intelligence of children but what I have gathered is that hiding things from children isn't a good way to get a good message out. She knows that my garden is "secret" and she knows why it has to be secret.

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Originally Posted by HiProGlow

My daughter has been actively involved in my growing. (She's five!) I find that she loves to watch the many phases and all the work involved. Although it's very hard to explain marijuana to a five year old, I have tried to be as open and honest as her age allows. I've explained what "drugs" are and I've told her the positives and negetives of marijuana and as much of its' history as she can swallow. My beliefs are that she is the future and there is nothing better in this world than children with open minds. Many people underestimate the intelligence of children but what I have gathered is that hiding things from children isn't a good way to get a good message out. She knows that my garden is "secret" and she knows why it has to be secret.

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I really respect this, and wish my parents did this with me. Im really interested in how this turns out, of course I wont find out but i just wanted to say I agree with your philosophy on explaining what it is to her and the pros and cons and to say its a secret right now. This is beneficial on so many levels, It encourages her to think for herself in a way and opens up your relationship in a way with her that is totally open.

Thanks for your replies. In a way I am jealous of all of you. Kids are so magic in so many ways. I enjoy talking to the teenagers on this website. I actually learn from them. It is neat.

I was just thinking when they opened this sub forum how hard it must be for parents who smoke pot,being as the current environment is hostile to smokers with the laws and all. I remembered that news report about the schools sending in officers to get them to turn in their parents. I just seemed so wrong.

It started me thinking about the threshold of living a lifestyle that is contrary to the government propaganda. Which is easy for someone like me who does not have kids.

liberiamom: I think you are better smoking pot then using prescription medicines any day. You should not have to stop.

Thank you for allowing a non parent person to ask questions.

any time:thumbsup:

I love this Forum.... thanks libmom


Great answers guys and Gals.....

For my self... I have NO idea.

I go out to MAN LAND ie (the unattached garage) and smoke

the kids dont ever see me smoke.

Im going with Honesty is the best policy.....

and need to know basis....

I dont have kids yet myself, but when they are old enough Ill explain the pros and cons of marijuana, and let them make their own decision.


However, if theyve already tried it, (depending on age) Ill sit down with em one day and whip out a fatass blunt, and be like "You wanna smoke?"

:D

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Originally Posted by Bong30

I love this Forum.... thanks libmom


Great answers guys and Gals.....

For my self... I have NO idea.

I go out to MAN LAND ie (the unattached garage) and smoke

the kids dont ever see me smoke.

Im going with Honesty is the best policy.....

and need to know basis....

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Ha! I'm another exile to "Man Land".

I've got a 3yo little girl and have been struggling with this question myself. I agree with Bong, honesty is best but on a "need to know" basis. So, if asked I won't lie but I also won't offer up any unsolicited information.

As far as letting her smoke, I will strongly discourage it before she is at least 18. I started when I was 12 and, looking back, that was way too young. I don't want to make any generalizations about what age is right, but I was simply too young to know how to use it responsibly. "Do my homework or get baked? Hmmnn..fuck the homework". With age and some grey hairs came the maturity to know that many, many times something other than smoking takes precidence. I just want my daughter to be at a point where she can completely understand that before she starts smoking.

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Originally Posted by Fengzi

Ha! I'm another exile to "Man Land".

I've got a 3yo little girl and have been struggling with this question myself. I agree with Bong, honesty is best but on a "need to know" basis. So, if asked I won't lie but I also won't offer up any unsolicited information.

As far as letting her smoke, I will strongly discourage it before she is at least 18. I started when I was 12 and, looking back, that was way too young. I don't want to make any generalizations about what age is right, but I was simply too young to know how to use it responsibly. "Do my homework or get baked? Hmmnn..fuck the homework". With age and some grey hairs came the maturity to know that many, many times something other than smoking takes precidence. I just want my daughter to be at a point where she can completely understand that before she starts smoking.

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I feel the same way- I think kids need to develop much more self-discipline before they can handle using weed. My kids will need to focus on doing well in school. It is just too easy for kids to get sidetracked- there have to be limits for kids, I believe. When they are 18, you can't control what they do, but if you can instill good habits earlier, hopefully later the freedom to choose won't take over their reason.

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Originally Posted by LIP

I'd much rather have my kids smoking weed than getting drunk, and as kids do, over doing it and getting alcohol poisoning.

Although, i'd prefer it if they smoked it in the house, at least then they're safe.

I wouldnt lie to them though, cos as soon as they find out they wont trust you.

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i feel the same way i would much rather my kids smoke and chill then drink and act stupid ... becuase lots of ppl cannot handle alcohol as well as they can pot ... not even close

Personally, I think all parents want the very best for your children, so if they are going to smoke, I think it should be with their parents. I'm 43, and I have two daughters, 20 and 19. I taught them "how" to drink and not get drunk last year and just this last week got them high for the first time, (or they got me high because I don't have any). Of course, I haven't got high for 6 or 7 years actually, but when they told me they wanted to smoke, I want to be there to make sure they are okay and having a good experience. So last night, we had a girls night, dads and boyfriends gone. I showed them how to get all their food arranged ahead of time so there's no binging (hey that's important for women!) picked out a huge selection of cool music for them to listen to, including muppet songs, cleaned the whole dining room,got fresh flowers and incense, candles, brought out the scrabble games, and did a huge whiteboard with the stages of highness, and a time gauged at about 2.5 hours so they could feel safe knowing whatever they felt would be gone after a certain amount of time. It was a really great experience. They didn't fight with each other, (they argue all the time normally), were really funny, and although a part of me knows society would be totally against this, I mean, they are great kids, make good grades in college, and if you are going to drink and smoke, then someone needs to teach you how to handle it. You know? Like always using your seatbelt when you drive. If you always use it, there is never a question. I have rules, if you are going to use mindaltering substances no matter what, you tell someone you trust what you are doing, you don't drive, and you don't go out in nightclubs or parties without a buddy. If you are alone, practice safe behavior.

My son asked me about it a couple months ago, and here's what I did:

http://boards.cannabis.com/experienc...marijuana.html

i think i would start telling my son when hes around 12 and like the teenage stage of growth and when he has to start making big life decisions for himself and especially in high school because i know how it is there and ppl want you to do some pretty crazy things so i'll tell him when its the time but i have plenty time hes 1 almost 2 =]