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well yer im 15 and my gf is pregnant.
im nt 2 sure how it happend probz a broken condom or sumfink but basically yer im 15 n ma 14 yr old gf is having a baby what shud i do?
plz can this remain in this section, no mention of it outside this section as i dnt want ppl that dnt post hear nt to know bout ma personal life, ty.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lil josh
1. adoption (probably best choice)
2. raise the kid, and take it like a man
3. abortion
have you talked to her about an abortion?
abortion is the way to go man, the world already has enough teen moms, and just people in general.
plus, you can make some money off of the fetus by selling it on ebay or to scientists performing stem cell research or selling it to a chinese restaurant.
dude.. you're not good at this kinda advice are you?Quote:
Originally Posted by MastaChronic
I agree with orange floyd, let it go for adoption. Im sorry but you really are stupid, i mean 15?! and shes only 14? christ.. she was 12 two years ago.. 12!
but yeah letting someone who wants a baby take care of it is alot better then killing the poor guy. Hey its not the babys fault she got pregnant is it?
dude plz dnt make jokes about my baby to be......Quote:
Originally Posted by MastaChronic
this is a serious subject, all my m8s have told me to push her down the stairs or kick her in the stomach or to ''accidently'' push her in front of oncoming traffic and i really dnt find it funny
I have a mate and his dad did that to his mum when she was pregnant with him. Seroiusly, dont do shit like that, adoption dude. You're not KILLING a baby and you're not giving up you're childhood (since your still considered a child.. i mean 15 and 14? JESUS CHRIST) but instead of taking away someones LIFE you'd be giving the child a loving home and the CHANCE to live.Quote:
Originally Posted by lil josh
Imagine if you found out u was an accident and one of you're parents wanted to abort you? imagine it.
Brenda's got a baby, but Brenda's barely got a brain.
Sorry...some Tupac felt right.
okay okay, i was kind of joking about selling it (but you could if you wanted to)Quote:
Originally Posted by lil josh
i am serious about abortion though, its technically not alive until the third trimester, until then it is on par with a tumor.
What should you do? Follow your heart man, do your very best. Communicate. Think. Do you think she'll have the baby?
You want advice lil josh, go talk to your gf. Asking a bunch of pot heads what to do means jack shit and jack left town. In the end it is her body and she is going to have the final say. I suggest BEING there for her and talking with her and seeing what SHE wants to do instead of selfishly thinking of what YOU should do.
I have a 4yrs daughter and it was hardly planned (from a one night stand)... Yeah being a dad is a big responsibility but it can also be the BEST thing that ever happened to you whether you think so or not right now.
Good luck man and try not to worry so much... A baby is better then getting HIV ;)
but you're still PREVENTING something from having a life.. imagine 20 years from now that thing will have a life, friends, would of gone to school, maybe even go to college. Man, i dunno how you can talk about abortion like its nothing. If you're parents aborted you then you wouldnt even fuckin be here dudeQuote:
Originally Posted by MastaChronic
Preventing isn't a crime . .
Morally, however, that might be another story.
It's just science. ~
listen to this guy's advice :rolleyes: (not rolling my eyes, trying to indicate to look above)Quote:
Originally Posted by someuser
i my mom told me my dad wanted me aborted and she was thinking about it seriously but didnt go through with it.Quote:
Originally Posted by b0Ng h!tz 4 mE
i can understand why my dad wouldnt have wanted me, because my mom tells me im a lot like him.
no offense, but your going on what can be, but it hasnt happened.
twenty years from now i could be president of the united states, but that is just a possibility and so it doesnt have any effect on my life right now, none, zilch.
this is just my opinion, but i would much rather prevent a life and keep mine.
that thing doesnt have a life yet, i still got mine. if it was born and i had to take care of it, there goes my life so that that this thing can have one.
eat the baby when its born... Nothing like a good baby leg for dinner :D
I hate to be the one to say this but there's a good she'll miscarry being that young, her body is hardly deleloped enough to properly create a baby.
Sorry about the news, Lil Josh. What MastaC, our resident intellectual and king of sensitivity, was telling you about it not being a life till the third trimester is not true. It's a life from the moment it's conceived. Whether or not it's a viable life capable of living outside the womb is another matter entirely. That generally happens sometime after 25 weeks of gestation (a full-term pregnancy is 40 weeks).
Definitely talk to your girlfriend. Sure, you two made that baby together, but she's the one who has to carry it in her body and bear the greatest part of the burden of raising it through infancy. I hope you'll both give very serious consideration to adoption. There are so many couples who'd love to adopt a baby, and if you two decide to pursue that route, you'll be doing a very courageous, generous thing.
You two are still kids yourselves. Even under the best of circumstances when you're married, educated, and have well-paying jobs, child-rearing is a huge responsibility. It turns your life upside down, even when you're ready for it and plan the pregnancy. That's why I hope you'll consider giving that baby to a couple who desires that responsibility. Because it's a huge one. And it goes on for more than 20 years if you do right by the child.
Get to the doctor so she can get evaluated and begin disucssing her options. If adoption is a good option for you, in England, just like in America, there are private solicitors (attorneys) who handle adoptions, and that's a way you can make sure her medical expenses are covered, or she can go to an adoption facility for unwed mothers to wait out her pregnancy. Please at least give serious consideration to this option.
yes we have both read about this and this is one of the main factors that is causing us to concider abortion.Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyFacedAbortion
i would really like to have a bbay with this girl just not at this age, if she was to keep the child i would be there for it 24/7 when it cries i would be there to wipe its tears when it is scared i would be there to turn on a light, this baby could be the best thing to ever hapen to me but im at such a crossroads right now.
man to be saying that shit at 15, i know it must be hard to accept somethin like that. It'd be ALOT of work, sleepless nights, ull have no money, they'll be sarcastic with you, mean, hyper, restless.. and this will be going on for years and years.. but im sure it'd be all worth while when in years to come you can see something you made grow up and stand on they're own 2 feet and go into the world with what you taught them..Quote:
Originally Posted by lil josh
But yeah, you need to go see a doctor, and i mean both of you together, not just her..
btw, do you're parents know yet? they're gonna be spending alot of time with this baby too.. thats if you don't get rid of it or have a miscarage of course
well basically adoption isnt a option as neither of us could bear to bring a baby in2 this world and have it grow up thinking that its parents didnt want/love it when it was born, so its either raise it together of have an abortion.
both of our parents are awear of the situation neither of them are happy but they have said they will stick by us no matter what our desision is they have also said that there not going to make it for us.
lol its good to know im not fiering blanks so to speak lol
all jokes aside ty ppl your are being verry helpfull right now.
she is going to the hospital tomorow to find out a little bit more like how far she is ect..im going with her of corse :) i think due to my age and everyone expecting me to not supprt my gf its making me want to support her and be there for her even more.
thankyou bird girl!Quote:
Originally Posted by birdgirl73
i will graciously accept this kind and *very* generous compliment
:D
Sometime--and I pray that it'll be soon--I hope you'll learn that making the selfless decision to let people who are more suited to raise a baby would be the ultimate act of loving and taking care of that child. Life is hard enough under the best of circumstances for kids today. And there are ways for the child not to feel he/she was rejected. Open adoptions, for instance. You have to step back and look at it from a selfless, what's-good-for-the-child perspective rather than an I-couldn't-bear-to-give-it-away perspective.
I hope to goodness you both have intelligent, caring parents.
Well, good luck...Its good that you're willing to man up if she does have a kid, but its going to be HARD to raise a child when you still are one.
Hopefully your parents will help, especially financially-wise. You should definitely get a job too and do your part to support it. Hell dude, look for a job now. Oh wait...your 15, well still look. Then you can save up a bunch of money that will all go to that kid if its born.
i think if this kid recieves true love from u, your gf and your parents, can be raised properly. And along with it, you grow up yourself. You r only 15 but thats not bad, a responsibility like this will make you mature and strong to face life. And dont feel lost, life is hard and nobody will show any mercy, take my word on this, but life is also beautiful, and its not short, it is as big as we make it. Life decided to make you grow up earlier, please dont turn your back on that decision. And dont kill your child. Raise it, its in your hand.
I have spoke on one similar thread to this, and I’ll pretty much say the same thing.
Lets all stop polling our opinions. For this young lad is not you and he is not here for your opinion but for your advice.
I’m going to do my best to lay out some things to think about and try to make it unbiased but I’m sure it will be a little bit. Sorry for that. So, just so you know I am pro-choice. This means I believe everyone should be able to choose and not be forced to keep it.
You know you have three options abortion, adoption and acceptance.
Here is what I know and what I’ve thought about all of them:
Abortion-
since you know early on that she is pregnant you can use a chemical method. This has some side effects on the woman but I do not believe it is life threatening.(look into this b4 you do it, if you do it)
-Most objection to abortion is on religious and moral grounds. Pro-life people generally believe that the embryo or fetus is a human life and should be held equal to every other human life. Thus they consider it murder.
Yes, birdgril is correct it is a “life” in the way any cell is a life. This is not meant to be against abortion it is just a scientific fact.
-What I think is most important is that any grounds to support or not support abortion are not on scientific grounds it is 100% a matter or opinion and morality. This is why I am so opposed to people shoving their opinions down your throat, the choice is yours.
-Pragmatically if you consider the three individuals (mother, father and the child you create) in the two possible states. The fist having the kid now; the second having the kid in 15 years when you plan it. All three parties are better off in the second situation. This is not ment to be biased just something to consider
Adoption
-if you consider adoption you should consider the effects of child birth on the mother. I’m sure it is very hard on such young girls to have kids.
Is her life at risk? (I don’t know but you should check it out)
-by choosing adoption you avoid sacrificing your morals and avoid much of the negative consequences of having a child this young.
-but, will giving away a child you created affect your psychological state for the rest of your life? Ei. Will you feel guilty
Acceptance
-It will be difficult for you to provide the same quality of life you received for your child, as you are so young. This will make it harder to go to university or even stay in school now. If you choose this I hope you have a loving family to help you.
-I feel it is important for me to highlight the impact or rearing a young child. Young children go through several periods called critical periods. During this time they need certain kinds of stimulus to achieve their potential, physically and psychologically. These stimuli come in many forms and largely involve huge amounts of interaction with their parents and peers. Why I mention this is because you will probably not be in very good financial shape and may not be able to supply them with proper food or daycare and it can have a very significant permanent effect. Just something to think about.
I am personally quite against abortion (surprising i know, since i am so liberal in all other aspects of sexuality), but I don't think raising a child would be the best idea for you either. Raising a baby will literally strip you of your childhood, and will take away your normal teenage years, where you party, go to university, etc. As for the baby, I can tell by the way you describe yourself and your parents, it will be deeply loved and cared for, but I still don't think it would have the best life it could have if it is being raised by children. A baby deserves all the best, and your lack of life experience (inevitable at your age, i don't mean to sound insulting at all) coupled with your lack of finances, is going to hinder that. I would suggest adoption, I know it's not a perfect solution, but I think it would be the best.
In response to Harris7's comment about giving our opinions, I like to tell you all what my opinions are up front, so you know what my biases are, and can judge my writings accordingly. The reason I am against abortion, if anyone is wondering, is because of the thought that I am killing a child. This may or may not be the case scientifically (ie, what defines when a person is a person), but that's how I feel...
One of my close friends got pregnant when she was 17 and was considering an abortion. She went to the doctor when she was around 3 weeks and you could already see a heartbeat. Needless to say she went through with it. I myself don't like the idea of abortion but I think you should just go with whatevery your girl wants. Good luck.
My ex-gf that I've talked about a few times here had an abortion, after my prompting, when we were teenagers. I loved that girl more then life itself (still do) but it torn us apart.
Till today she tells me she is haunted by what she did... Abortion is a very personal choice and despite my experience I'm still pro-choice... But, I personally would never want to go through that again and I especially wouldnt want to put another girl through that again... It's tough... She was like 3 months along and we had a ultra sound done (before 'we' decided what we were going to do)... I can still close my eyes and see my baby... A baby I had with a woman I loved more then anything else in life... And now it is gone forever... Just like my ex.
Think real hard before you go down that path.
Howdy chronic,Quote:
Originally Posted by MastaChronic
Take a look,at the pic of a baby,at 20 weeks..and tell us again,that it's just a "tumor" :mad:
Then take a look,at the pic of what you want Lil Josh to do to his son or daughter. :mad:
I hope and pray..that Josh and his girlfriend,won't choose to murder their un-born son or daughter. :)
Have a good one ...
I hope that whatever you 2 decide,,,you two will live happily with the decision... I did not comb this thread too hard but,,, what I want to know is,,, how is the Family life in your own Families??? Are they Aware,,,if so what is their response,,,reaction???
how do you know she is Pregnant ???
ok this is how it happend. we was having sex both slightly drunk i took the condom of so she could give me head then she climbed on top of me and started riding me both of us 4getting about the condom, anyways i bust a nut in her as i went to take the condom of i realised it was not there.
hope this answers your questions and im sorry if it was a bit graphic.
birdgirl i know you quoted me on 'i-could-not-bear...' but you didnt include the rest of that sentance 'the-baby-thinking-its-parents-didnt-love-it'.
honestly i think we only have 2 options and thats 1.abortion 2.keeping it
adoption would be best in my opinion
i had an abortion when i was 16 and for me it was really hard but now that i think about it it was the best choice i ever made ... i can't imagine having a child and giving it up for adoption but thats just me ... i personaly think an abortion is the best way to go ... esp. if shes 14 .... being pregant culd ruin her rep. at school ... and even though it doesnt matter wut people think it wuld still be hard being known as the 14 yr old whos pregant
good luck i know its not easy
the main thing is we dont want the baby to think its parents didnt love it, and children can be so crule comments such as your parents didnt love you ect...i wouldnt want to put a human being through this
At 14 it is too hard on a girl's -and yes I mean GIRL not WOMAN-body to carry and deliver a baby. Her bones are not even fully developed yet and the stress of a developing fetus could really harm her... carrying a baby whose own skeleton is developing leaches precious calcium from the mother's body, not to mention delivery will be very dangerous.
In my opinion for what it's worth, she should go see a doctor like YESTERDAY about having the pregnancy terminated immediately.
my aunt and uncle have adopted two kids...and my grandparents have been foster parents and have adopted kids all their lives and i would strongly recomend adoption....give your kid a chance to experience life and give a good couple the chance to have a kid of their own and love it. If you go with abortion ur not only killing an unborn baby....ur effecting MANY people...watch the movie its a wonderful life....after watching that u can see how just one life can affect so many people and things...pleeease put it up for adoption
I would rather see an unborn fetus terminated than see your girlfriend suffer the health problems and yes, the unfortunate but true social stigma that she will carry, from bearing a child at such a young age. Her life is worth the most. You should do everything to protect her... THAT is true honor and responsibility.
nice job ruining her life, my mom had me when she was 16, i think about it now, and at this very moment she was pregnant with me, i ruined my moms life, she kept me but people still gave her bullshit and said that i would never amount to anything because i would be raised on the streets and shit like that, people were complete dicks to my mom, if i was your girlfriend id have an abortion, my mom already had enough torture and thats enough for one teenage mom
Whoa nellie... you make some other good points but that's harsh... I'm not lil josh's biggest fan for other posts, but I understand the terror that he must be going through right now... not really the time to give a lecture on condoms or why exactly a 14 year old girl was drunk... lil josh, my heart goes out to you and your girlfriend, really, I know how frightening it is and I'm sure you've already learned a lesson... any choice you make is going to be painful to follow through with for one reason or another... you are both going to want to talk to a therapist after this whole thing is over. Decide fast because chemical abortion is going to be a lot less emotionally scarring than the traditional sort... I've had 2 close girlfriends who waited too long for it to be an option and they were both pretty traumatized by the experience.Quote:
Originally Posted by Samwhore
I guess the last thing I want to say is that I hope you are both close enough with your families to talk to them about it... as much as the canncom crowd is here 24 hours a day, so are your parents, and I'll bet they love you more than we do.