when is it time to kick them to the curb?

ok, i need everyone's input on this... cuz i'm not really sure what to do, honestly.

ok i have a friend, and i've done alot for him, and he's done alot for me. when he didn't have a place to stay, i've let him live with me, when he didn't have food i've provided for him, when he didn't have cigs. i'd provide for him there as well... in return, i smoke cheap ass cigs, i can basicly go in his pack and take his cigs whenever i want, me or my wife can use his car pretty much whenever we want, he's probably spent well over 500$ on weed for me over the last year... it's been a give and take relationship.... but it was still always social.

now here's the dilema.... a while back, i started playing ps2 games online, so of course, so did he... i'm the only person he knows with internet hook up, period. so this is the only house he can play wtih all his little clan buddies and what not... well now it's starting to get down right irritating, i mean he will literally, if we let him, stay here 24/7, playing them for days in a row... and i mean this quite literally with no sleep. when you try to talk to him when he's playing (which if he's over here, is non-stop) you basicly get ignored, you have to shout his name 3-4x before you'll even get his attention, then you're LUCKY if you even get your question/comment out before he turns his attention back to the game. and usually, he'll get irritation in his voice if you keep 'bugging' him.... basicly, i dont' feel i have a friend anymore, i feel i have a pest.... he doesn't really talk to me anymore, doesn't have anything to do with me, it's just the ps2, and his online friends.... and it's everyday pretty much...

so when is it time to say i've had enough, and kick him to the curb for good? he's probably done more for me, then i have for him, money wise... so i really don't know what to do, i feel guilty, anytime i think about saying "look dude, you're not my friend anymore, you don't even want to have anything to do with me, all you want to do is come here, and use my internet to play with your REAL friends, you know those clan idiots you'll atleast give the time of day to" ..... so what would you do?

Hey man,

If i was in your situation, and he is a cool friend like you say he is, I think you should tell him that you think hes just coming there to play games all the time and you want to hang out with him and shit too, not just have him come over only to play games.

:thumbsup:

dude, the guy is a video game addict, it happens. i used to be one.
you need to sit down with him and have a serious talk about the way he's been treating you before you kick him to the curb because, chances are, he doesnt realize it completely.

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Originally Posted by MastaChronic

dude, the guy is a video game addict, it happens. i used to be one.
you need to sit down with him and have a serious talk about the way he's been treating you before you kick him to the curb because, chances are, he doesnt realize it completely.

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Exactly.

Do you want him like gone and not coming to your house anymore, or just not playing ps2 all the time?

well, see that's the thing, i know even if i talk to him, it won't change anything... i mean i can't say for 100% sure, because there's never anything you can say in this life for sure, but there are things you just KNOW, and this is one of those things.... as of right now, he's basicly my only friend, which is probably why i've put up with it for this long.... i don't want to be utterly alone, but i also don't want to feel like i'm being used, that's why i came here, to see how everyone else felt on the subject....

talk with him anyway, tell him you feel like your being used.
im not sure if this will help, but use nothing but "I" statements, dont include the word "you", thats a blaming word.
my therapist taught me this, its good for getting your feelings out w/o starting a fight

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Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho

well, see that's the thing, i know even if i talk to him, it won't change anything... i mean i can't say for 100% sure, because there's never anything you can say in this life for sure, but there are things you just KNOW, and this is one of those things.... as of right now, he's basicly my only friend, which is probably why i've put up with it for this long.... i don't want to be utterly alone, but i also don't want to feel like i'm being used, that's why i came here, to see how everyone else felt on the subject....

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You'll never know for sure if you don't talk to him. You might as well try, it couldn't hurt, right?

sounds like a bit of meth mixed in with that video game addiction...

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Originally Posted by partyguy420

sounds like a bit of meth mixed in with that video game addiction...

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possibly, but i used to stay up for days playing video games and i didnt do meth, i was just so focused i didnt think about sleep.
that and energy drinks help, i can move my thumbs faster with a couple monsters in me

i suggest you talk to him i have a friend that whenever i and other friends go to his house all he does is play video games and doesnt let us play, im always like what the hell you called us over, i suggest you try and talk to him about it or make new friends wich is easy all you have to do is talk to new ppl on the street or at work, or wherever it is you usually hang out.

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Originally Posted by MastaChronic

possibly, but i used to stay up for days playing video games and i didnt do meth, i was just so focused i didnt think about sleep.
that and energy drinks help, i can move my thumbs faster with a couple monsters in me

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yea, i know... me and my cusians used to do that... when xbox first came out... we would set up party of 16 people, and play halo online and many other halo style games on line... and we would play the games for 16 hours strait, then switch users... while the person playing for the first 16 hours got food, and went to sleep for 16 hours... and anyone on our party would do that for weeks strait... until we had no more games... and them we would all just pass out for a weekend... then wake up, do some work for family and friends... and then go down to wal mart and buy more games, repeat... and then we started doing it with cmps... that was until he moved.... and i didnt have anyone around with x-box... or games...

but im talking about how he can do that just 24/7 hardly a break... i know from personal experince... i can sit down with a pack of ciggerets, and a lighter, and a bowl of meth, smoke the bowl of meth, unplug my cmp, take it out to change the hard drive.. and then spend about 12 hours cleaning all of the dust out with nuthing more then my breath, a straw, and a half a dozen Q-tips... and when some one trys to talk to me, i dont hear them, then when they do get my attention, i act realy shity towards them....

THANK GOD I HIT ROCK BOTTOM 5 MONTHS AGO, WHILE PICKING UP CHUNKS OF ROCK SALT, STICKING THEM ON TIN FOIL, AND IN HAILING THE SMOKE OFF THAT... THAT SHIT FUCKS WITH PEOPLE LIFE... IT FUCKS THEYER HEALTH... AND FUCKS THEIR WALLET... AND FUCKS THEIR FAMILYS UP!!!!!!!!

ALSO..;. THANK GOD, THAT I HAD THE POWERS OF MARIJUANA TO HELP CALM THE WITHDRAWL AFFECTS

Don't kick him to the curb mate, he's a good friend it wouldn't be right of you to abandon him. Do something simple like talk to him or take away the PS2. If he becomes a threat or gets physical either put him in his place or tell him to sod off n' get his act together. I have one real good mate who I'd do anything for. I know for sure he would for me too. Be straight with him but don't attack him (verbally) otherwise this is where problems will arise. Don't forget man he is a bro' they ain't just here for the good times mate. Good luck and I hope all goes well.

don't always chill at your house, go to somewhere you can actually do something where there's no ps2 online shit.......I don't know how anyone can sit and play ps2 for so long, the longest i can go is an hour or less, and then i just get tired and my eyes like hurt... I just gave my ps2 to my cousin, cause i'm there a lot and if i ever want to play it, i can just go there...even if i do go there i don't even play it........that was a random rant lol

Cancel your internet service for a week or fake a computer problem. He will quickly find another place to get his "fix". His addiction is getting out of control and your "denial of service" might be a wake-up call for him. Using "I" statements is good when explaining your feelings- MastaChronic is right on the money about that. Remember that good friends whom you can really trust are rare. Think long and carefully before acting or speaking. Granny:stoned:

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Originally Posted by MastaChronic

possibly, but i used to stay up for days playing video games and i didnt do meth, i was just so focused i didnt think about sleep.
that and energy drinks help, i can move my thumbs faster with a couple monsters in me

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I used to snort lines and play a game called Ultima Online for a week + at a time.

Hey man, why dont you just not pay for the online game subscription thing? Or just turn it off whiles hes playing one day andbe like "hey man, you gotta get your shit together cause this aint working." or something to that extent.

Can you buy him a three month subscription to the internet for Christmas???

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Originally Posted by Pipe Dreams

I used to snort lines and play a game called Ultima Online for a week + at a time.

Hey man, why dont you just not pay for the online game subscription thing? Or just turn it off whiles hes playing one day andbe like "hey man, you gotta get your shit together cause this aint working." or something to that extent.

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there is no subscription its just where you buy the game, and as an added bonus can play it online as well....

hell, i even saw that slip was gettin irritated one day (was sitting outside on the porch when i got home from work) and told his friend "go home so me and him can fuck dude...i can't get none if you're here" and he's like "NO! i'm not leaving...fuck w/me here...i dont care" (and this is all in one bedroom...we live w/my husbands grandparents so its not like we can banish his friend to another room to play games....

the only way to make him leave is to utterly piss him off to where he's so angry he doesn't wanna be around us. i hate doing that cuz he's our friend and has been there for us...but the line has to be drawn somewhere right?

i'll come home after a long day at work...there'll be ashes all over the floor....empty soda cans strewn all on the floor...a crusted bowl that used to have ramen noodles in it (he swears it was from less than 10 mins ago but my husband informs me its been sitting there for hours) and now he's gotten to where he'll unplug my internet, drag in our fucked up tv (bad picture tube) from the other room...and have all this sprawled across the floor to play. he doesn't take a hint, will never leave even if you flat out ask/tell him...its sooooooooo aggervating...

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Originally Posted by Storm Crow

Cancel your internet service for a week or fake a computer problem.

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Yeah, I was gonna say why don't you find a way to pry him away from it a bit. If he doesn't wanna hang out with you when he can't play, hes usin' you, so ditch 'em if he does that. If hes like "aight no online play today waddya wanna' do?" then he's still your friend.

I remember when my friend spent the week at my house, first night fucker played CSS on my PC till like 5am...I told him to get off at like 3am and hes like "I will, just go to bed dude" then at 5am I woke up and he was still on it so I went over and turned it off. He was pissed and called me an asshole, but he got over it.

Maybe you should just turn it off on him one day. And be like "Dude you've been playing that game non-stop, do somethin' else for awhile, you don't even hang out with me anymore." and if he gets pissed and leaves or doesn't wanna hang with you, he's probably not your friend. But if he gets pissed then says "Okay what do you wanna do?" then your still cool.

yesterday i did something like that.... ^_^ ....he left the room thinkin i was bout to change outta my work clothes, my husband told me "he has your ethernet cable" and i was like *walk over to his ps2 and yank it out and look at it all funny* "you mean this one?" and then asked my husband to plug it into the back of my puter for me while i changed clothes. :thumbsup: so he comes back in the room and sees his game is dead!!!! muahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

Dude,sound like he's addicted to online gaming and just goes into his own wee world when playin them. You need to try and have a serious word with him about it.. Next time when he comes over tell him you need to have a word with him and explain how you feel about him always coming over to yours just to use your internet connection, and that you feel that he just using you for it.. Friend shold be able to talk thing out with out falling out..
Hope it all work out well..

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Originally Posted by Frivolous248

Maybe you should just turn it off on him one day. And be like "Dude you've been playing that game non-stop, do somethin' else for awhile, you don't even hang out with me anymore." and if he gets pissed and leaves or doesn't wanna hang with you, he's probably not your friend. But if he gets pissed then says "Okay what do you wanna do?" then your still cool.

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:thumbsup:

ok well, for those who care, and wanted to hear of the update, i tried talking to him about it (for my wife, don't bother asking what was said, it doesn't matter, and i'd rather not talk about it) i was basicly blown off about the whole thing "well you only sit over there on your computer..." ???? i only ever started gettting on my computer when you were over here, when i stated being ignored all together.... so he's going to do for what he's known to classicly do, ignore everything..... so now... i have tried, and i mean TRIED to actrually poor my heart out to him, and am ignored, and basicly everything 'is my fault' doesn't even adress the fact he ignores everything, details spared....


so what do you do, when this person (described above) doesn't want to admit he has a problem, and you ARE his ONLY fix, even if it's pretty much the only friend you have....

a true friend would cut him the fuck off, you talked to him and it didnt work. it was worth a try.
cut the motherfucker off and feel like shit about it, but cut him off.
in a few weeks he'll start to feel better.
if you dont want him blaming you.........fake an internet problem or something, or sell your ps2 or hide your ps2 and tell him you had to go get it fixed cause somethings wrong with it

I didn't know the dude was in your bedroom,,,man you gotta pull the plug,,,you owe it to your wife...

You know the answer to your question. So does your wife. Your responsibility is to her, not him.

This person is not your friend.

In life we grow. It is time to get out and meet new friends.

Dude, fuck 'em.

You being on your computer is TOTALLY irrelevant, thats where you fucking live! You can do whatever you want. He however, is a guest.

If you don't give him the boot, I will call you a nancy boy and it will hurt your feelings.

So kick his ass out...

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Originally Posted by Frivolous248

Dude, fuck 'em.

You being on your computer is TOTALLY irrelevant, thats where you fucking live! You can do whatever you want. He however, is a guest.

If you don't give him the boot, I will call you a nancy boy and it will hurt your feelings.

So kick his ass out...

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Yes,,,and I will supply the pink dress and fairy wand...

we can call him the.....good witch of the north?south? idk

Hide the Ps2.

SLIP-
i read this kinda late, i woulda sat him down. go somewhere outside your house (a walk/lunch) and tell him how he is interferring with your life. You can't cut him off b/c he has been there for you! Fri-sun (let the ps2 run) or set up a schedule that is opposite than yours (or your wife's) that he can play. THERE IS ALWAYS A COMPROMISE :) i hope you find the right compromise though

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Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho

ok, i need everyone's input on this... cuz i'm not really sure what to do, honestly.

ok i have a friend, and i've done alot for him, and he's done alot for me. when he didn't have a place to stay, i've let him live with me, when he didn't have food i've provided for him, when he didn't have cigs. i'd provide for him there as well... in return, i smoke cheap ass cigs, i can basicly go in his pack and take his cigs whenever i want, me or my wife can use his car pretty much whenever we want, he's probably spent well over 500$ on weed for me over the last year... it's been a give and take relationship.... but it was still always social.

now here's the dilema.... a while back, i started playing ps2 games online, so of course, so did he... i'm the only person he knows with internet hook up, period. so this is the only house he can play wtih all his little clan buddies and what not... well now it's starting to get down right irritating, i mean he will literally, if we let him, stay here 24/7, playing them for days in a row... and i mean this quite literally with no sleep. when you try to talk to him when he's playing (which if he's over here, is non-stop) you basicly get ignored, you have to shout his name 3-4x before you'll even get his attention, then you're LUCKY if you even get your question/comment out before he turns his attention back to the game. and usually, he'll get irritation in his voice if you keep 'bugging' him.... basicly, i dont' feel i have a friend anymore, i feel i have a pest.... he doesn't really talk to me anymore, doesn't have anything to do with me, it's just the ps2, and his online friends.... and it's everyday pretty much...

so when is it time to say i've had enough, and kick him to the curb for good? he's probably done more for me, then i have for him, money wise... so i really don't know what to do, i feel guilty, anytime i think about saying "look dude, you're not my friend anymore, you don't even want to have anything to do with me, all you want to do is come here, and use my internet to play with your REAL friends, you know those clan idiots you'll atleast give the time of day to" ..... so what would you do?

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Well, seeing that he has never had the opportunities before that you are now giving him, like with the PS2, it's like the guy is a kid in a candy store.
He's addicted to playing. I'd draw the lines if he has strangers coming in to your house but if it's only online firends, it's not so bad.
Now, being that it is your computer, limit his time on it. If he is using your tv for playing PS@, put a time limit on it.
Talk to him and explain that you want your friend back not a PS2 zombie.

Give him some time and see if you guys can work it out. If not, it's time for him to consider moving on soon.
I hope that helps some.

video games are mostly a waste of time unless ur chilling with friends and playing them socially, there is a time and place for video games, not all the time. i used to play alot of video games and now that i look bak on all that time i spent playing socom 2 or halo, i could have been hangin out with girls chilling with friends or playing guitar. in my opinion u should save ur friend and loose the ps2.

I'm with everyone else.

Kick him out. If his only purpose is to play video games, and not hang out with you, well you have the answer.

Ever seen You, Me and Dupree?

Thats a bad situation to be in. In the end you need to either make sure he knows that he is not doing anything outside of playing video games, or dump him.

When a person becomes absorbed in something, they sometimes forget about life outside of what they are doing. snap him out of it, and do some of the 'self improvements' he suggested. It coudnt hurt.

MAGIC
MAGIC
NINJAS
WHAT!
yeah dude, or, instead of kicking him to the curb.....kick his ass and then while he's on the ground explain to him exactly why you did it, it should get your point across and if he's a true friend he will see it through your eyes and really see what he has been doing. trust me, some people just need a good ass kicking sometimes and this might just possibly be one of those times.
after you beat the shit out of him, be sure to get a lot of alchohol and get him drunk and stoned. then you can laugh about it.

just take out the cable for the modem down stairs assuming ur not in an apartment, a minor disconect... that or I'd say open up like a bit torrent program and started seeding to the max, aka eat up all of his bandwith so his games won't be worth picking up assuming he can even sign online

or as he is playing take a large sledge hammer and proceed to smash the ps2, problem solved if he gets mad say hey it's mine dude I felt like doing it and then go smoke a bowl or two or three or a lot with him

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Originally Posted by KL4D4

just take out the cable for the modem down stairs assuming ur not in an apartment, a minor disconect... that or I'd say open up like a bit torrent program and started seeding to the max, aka eat up all of his bandwith so his games won't be worth picking up assuming he can even sign online

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LOL i actually had tried somethin like that before. he was online playing killzone, and i opened up every "connection slowing" program i had, started downloading everything i could...just in the hopes it'd "kick" him ; ; and it didnt

naw dont kick him to the curb.. like people have said before just talk to him, tell him hes over staying his welcome or something.. and when he comes back dont just let him get on the ps2 try to do something else with him, or just play ps2 with him lol.. idk just my words..
when i was in my apartment with my old roommate, i brought my computer from my house and hooked it up. and all he did was play games on it 24/7 i would get home and he would be playing games on it.. finaly i just moved it into my room and got a deadlock on my door... i could tell he was addicted to it because he did NOTHING else.. he got checks from his aunt everymonth for rent so he was a fuckin lazy ass. he went downhill from there and finaly i moved out on him and he tried stealing my ram from my computer but i got it back from him.