WARNING! Terribly Tasteless Dirty Joke

A guy walks into a whorehouse, walks up to the madam and says "I'm soo horny, but I only have $5"

The madam frowns at first but looks at the guy and tells him "hmmm, that's not a lot, but I do have a dead hooker in one of the rooms upstairs, you can have her for $5"

The guy quickly thinks it over then agrees, pays his $5, and heads upstairs. ten minutes later he comes back down and the madam asks "how was it?"

The man tells her "It was great, the only weird thing was that her nose kept running"

"Oh, sorry about that, she must be full" the madam replies

Tasteless indeed. Nice.

discusting but realy funny

let's make this the Dirty Joke thread???


I heard one yesterday...

What did the blind man say while walking past the fish market???
Morning Ladies...

Here's another one:

What's the motto of the Greek Army?

"Never leave your buddy's behind"

Thats fucking dirty :yippee:

ahhahahaha,,, keep it going...

So there's this guy and a girl, and they're at the guy's house. But the problem is, the guy shares a room with his little brother, and worse yet, they have bunk beds. Luckily for the guy and the girl, the guy's got top bunk.

So they decide to go at it one night, yanno, bumpin' and grindin', but the guy says to the girl "My little brother's sleepin' below, so if you want me to go harder, say 'lettuce' and if you want me to go faster say 'tomato'" the girl's like "yeah dude, I got it

So anyway, they're knockin' boots and all and she's moanin' "Lettuce, tomato, lettuce, tomato, tomato, tomato, lettuce, lettuce.." and then with a final "TOMATO!!!!" it all ends.

Two seconds later the little brother starts to tap on the bunk bed..the guy goes "what"..the brother goes

"bro..can you stop making sandwhiches up there? I just got some mayo on my head."

hahah gross. i laughed though.

That's pretty fuckin' disgusting, i'm saving that one for school!

why don't repuplicans use bookmarks.
because they just bend the paige over

why did god invent yeast infections?
so women would know what it is like to live with an anoying cunt.




what does seventy year old pussy taste like?

depends

what did the blond say to her swim instructer?

will i really drown if you take your finger out.

who makes more money a street ho or a drug dealer?

a street whore can wash her crack and make more money.

Dumb, but made me chuckle:

Why do troll soccer players always smile?

The grass tickles their balls.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BabyFacedAbortion

So there's this guy and a girl, and they're at the guy's house. But the problem is, the guy shares a room with his little brother, and worse yet, they have bunk beds. Luckily for the guy and the girl, the guy's got top bunk.

So they decide to go at it one night, yanno, bumpin' and grindin', but the guy says to the girl "My little brother's sleepin' below, so if you want me to go harder, say 'lettuce' and if you want me to go faster say 'tomato'" the girl's like "yeah dude, I got it

So anyway, they're knockin' boots and all and she's moanin' "Lettuce, tomato, lettuce, tomato, tomato, tomato, lettuce, lettuce.." and then with a final "TOMATO!!!!" it all ends.

Two seconds later the little brother starts to tap on the bunk bed..the guy goes "what"..the brother goes

"bro..can you stop making sandwhiches up there? I just got some mayo on my head."

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aHAHaHAHAha gross :stoned:

meh, i have alot, but i dont' feel like typin' 'em out so yal are all just gonna miss out :p too bad for you!

Hold the Mayo... That was cute BFA...

Why don't guys like to go down on really hairy girls?

It's like eating sushi off the barbershop floor

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shannon

Thats fucking dirty :yippee:

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That pic in your pro is sexy. And it took me a bit, but thats a funny ass joke.

This is a joke I first heard my grandmother tell. She loved a good bawdy joke and was a very funny lady. Worked as a teacher and school principal all her life. We never knew where she picked up these jokes, but they were generally good ones. Forgive the language, but it’s necessary to the set-up.

Four men are sitting in a bar, talking and shooting the breeze. Suddenly, a fifth man rushes in, screaming, red-faced and furious at one of the four, and grabs him up by the lapels and gets right in his face, ready to kill him.” You philandering, marriage-wrecking SOB!! I heard you said there’s a mole on my wife’s pussy!”

“Hold on there,” the soon-to-be victim says, “And just calm down. You don’t need to get so riled. What I said was it felt like it.”

dirty jokes...

[quote=BabyFacedAbortion]So there's this guy and a girl, and they're at the guy's house. But the problem is, the guy shares a room with his little brother, and worse yet, they have bunk beds. Luckily for the guy and the girl, the guy's got top bunk.

So they decide to go at it one night, yanno, bumpin' and grindin',--

Thats fucking hillarious:yippee:

Two guys are about to go to a bar, and one guy pulls out a hot dog. he says to the other guy,"as soon as we get a drink and drink it, ill put this in my zipper and you suck it like we're gay so we get thrown out". So they go in, get hteir drink, drink it, and do the trick..sure enough they are like HEY TAKE THAT SHIT SOMEWHERE ELSE! so they leave with 1 free drink...that night they hit up 20 bars and get a various amount of drinks only to come home shit faced...they wake up the next morning and one guy says,"man, i started puking after the 15th bar last night"..the other guy says"yea well you think that sucked?i lost the hot dog after the 3rd bar"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PdoubleOTY

Two guys are about to go to a bar, and one guy pulls out a hot dog. he says to the other guy,"as soon as we get a drink and drink it, ill put this in my zipper and you suck it like we're gay so we get thrown out". So they go in, get hteir drink, drink it, and do the trick..sure enough they are like HEY TAKE THAT SHIT SOMEWHERE ELSE! so they leave with 1 free drink...that night they hit up 20 bars and get a various amount of drinks only to come home shit faced...they wake up the next morning and one guy says,"man, i started puking after the 15th bar last night"..the other guy says"yea well you think that sucked?i lost the hot dog after the 3rd bar"

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DAAAMN lmao!!!