This is why....

Men Are Just Happier People



Your last name stays put.



The garage is all yours.



Wedding plans take care of themselves.



Chocolate is just another snack.



You can be President.



You can never be pregnant.



You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.



Car mechanics tell you the truth.



The world is your urinal.



You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.



You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.



Same work, more pay.



Wrinkles add character.



Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental -- $100.



People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.



The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.



New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.



One mood! -- all the ! time.



Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.



You know stuff about tanks.



A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.



You can open all your own jars.



You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.



If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.



Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack.



Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.



You almost never have strap problems in public.



You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.



Everything on your face stays its original color.



The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.



You only have to shave your face and neck.



You can play with toys all your life.



Your belly usually hides your big hips.



One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.



You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.



You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.



You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.



You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes!



No wonder men are happier.

http://boards.cannabis.com/showthread.php?t=6663

those are reasons on why men SUCK.....
yall make me jealous...why cant we walk in places shirtless...yall can and theres really no difference, i mean my god, ours are just bigger, well except fat ppl......
god i could argue on all of those lol...

don't worry about it n2m....at least you have boobs, and the ability to have multiple orgasms
~007~

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 00Ampersand

and the ability to have multiple orgasms
~007~

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That alone makes me jealous. And I do mean that alone. I don't envy anything else about what a woman has or has to go through :D.

for sure! although, my favorite ability as a man--hands down--has to be the ability to go for an entire month without bleeding out of my crotch
~007~

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 00Ampersand

for sure! although, my favorite ability as a man--hands down--has to be the ability to go for an entire month without bleeding out of my crotch
~007~

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Really... we're not supposed to every month...??:(

only if you keep picking at those genital warts, cleve :D
~007~

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 00Ampersand

only if you keep picking at those genital warts, cleve :D
~007~

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HEY! They prefer to be called 'battle scars', thank you very much. I named the biggest one Melvin:)

you wait...soon they'll start mating with each other and spawn little baby 'battle scars'...you're gonna be a grand-father, cleve:)
~007~

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 00Ampersand

you wait...soon they'll start mating with each other and spawn little baby 'battle scars'...you're gonna be a grand-father, cleve:)
~007~

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OH!!!!!:eek: I'm so happy!!:) Here's a cigar!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by never 2 much

why cant we walk in places shirtless..

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I'm not stopping you. :p

Quote:

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Originally Posted by never 2 much

why cant we walk in places shirtless.

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whos stopping you? :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by apsinthion

I'm not stopping you. :p

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dammit aspinthion! lol

Hand's up anybody that want's to stop never 2 much walking round topless? :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by GHoSToKeR

dammit aspinthion! lol

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Haha beat you to it lol!:D

That mean's I get to see them first! :p

I agree with it all except the part about the moods...that's not true, men get bitchy all of the time. And you guys can keep the garage...oh, yeah, and change the oil in my car while you're in there! :D

Things being a girl has gotten me:

1. Free pizza and eggplant parms at the local pizzeria cuz it's run by a bunch of horny Italian guys.

2. Free car washes.

3. Free hot fudge sundaes. Thanks, guy at McDonald's.

4. A guy at the mall gave me a free DVD of my favorite movie cuz I told him I only owned it on VHS.

5. Enough booze and pot to keep me fucked up for months at a time.

6. Half price tongue peircing.

7. Discount at Hot Topic even though my card wasn't full yet.

8. Enough free gas to run a tank. (If tanks ran on gas)

9. Rides to and from school by a boy named Heath from my Oceanoghraphy class, even though my house was 15 miles out of his way.

10. Some kid named Alfred did my Computers and Technology final. I got an A! Yay!

11. When I was still a hairstylist this guy named Rocco gave me anywhere between a $20-$50 tip for a buzz cut...every two weeks. Lots of big tippers out there! Thanks, guys!

!2. There's more but I can't remember it all. But the most important thing I can do that a guy can't is get laid anytime I want. :D And not by a drunk person at 2AM. But that is always a possiblity.

13. Oh, yeah, once my car died in the KMart parking lot and it was the middle of winter. I was frantic. Some nice guy bought me a car battery and installed it for me in, like, 20 degree weather.

Ha! Ha! I'd rather be a chick any day.

I'll still pass. Just getting goods and services for free doesn't sweeten that deal for me by any means.

No cramps; no blood; no worries for vaginal smell; no need for vaginal ointments; no worries about how good I look (cuz I don't LOL); no sitting down to piss; no pregnancies; no need to shave anything but my face; no need to adjust a bra; no need to apply makeup; no need to spend extra money on jewelry or necessary female garments; much less chance of being targeted for rape, car theft, and other shopping mall parking lot mishaps... just to name very few. Yeah, I like having a penis :D

I noticed the references to bras twice now.

I guess fixing a bra strap a couple times a day compared to itching my balls every 5 mins is okay with me! lol
yes I have heard it all. They get out of place, the material chafts, blaaa blaa blaaa

Quote:

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Originally Posted by GooseBear

I noticed the references to bras twice now.

I guess fixing a bra strap a couple times a day compared to itching my balls every 5 mins is okay with me! lol
yes I have heard it all. They get out of place, the material chafts, blaaa blaa blaaa

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I don't know about other guys, but I keep that private. But at least when we age, our balls won't sag and have disgusting stretch marks :D. That is, if the male is normal LOL.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by clevemire

I'll still pass. Just getting goods and services for free doesn't sweeten that deal for me by any means.

No cramps; no blood; no worries for vaginal smell; no need for vaginal ointments; no worries about how good I look (cuz I don't LOL); no sitting down to piss; no pregnancies; no need to shave anything but my face; no need to adjust a bra; no need to apply makeup; no need to spend extra money on jewelry or necessary female garments; much less chance of being targeted for rape, car theft, and other shopping mall parking lot mishaps... just to name very few. Yeah, I like having a penis :D

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Cleve, you crack me up. But I can always buy a penis (if I really wanted one). I have my own (use of one, that is). Unfortunately it's attached to a man. If I could get rid of the pain in the ass behind it, life would be grand. Seriously, though, I think TV commercials have made guys think all of us chicks are running around worrying about bloating and bleeding through our pants. Not true.

Anyway, we need you as much as you need us, so it's all good.

And, Cleve, I have no idea how that chocolate wrapper got inside your underwear drawer...it wasn't me rifling through your shorts, I swear. :p

Btw, not wanting free goods and services is bullshit.:)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by maryjanemama

Btw, not wanting free goods and services is bullshit.:)

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Ah, my dear. But I never said I don't accept or approve of free goods and services. It's just not enough to make being a woman more appealing to me.

And yes, we all need each other, as unfortunate as it may be at times LOL:rolleyes:

Maryjanemama.....

Yeah bloke's are as moody as women (although strangely over little thing's rather than the bigger thing's).

Cleve.....

I totaly with you on the penis pride side of thing's but won't you agree that the scrotum is every bit as ugly as any strech mark. Who could possably find anything that look's like a couple of three day old tea bag's appealing?:D

lol hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tea bags !!!!!!! hahahhaha you said it not me!!!!!!!

what about getting out of parking tickets!! Oh officer was I spedding!!!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by apsinthion

Maryjanemama.....

Yeah bloke's are as moody as women (although strangely over little thing's rather than the bigger thing's).

Cleve.....

I totaly with you on the penis pride side of thing's but won't you agree that the scrotum is every bit as ugly as any strech mark. Who could possably find anything that look's like a couple of three day old tea bag's appealing?:D

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LOL You got me there, bro!:o

I had to laugh at "A well-rendered belch..." lol

I'm glad I'm not a woman...I mean, with all those bits to play with, I'd never get anything done!!

But, imagine if you were born a hermaphodite!!!:eek:
The worst of both worlds!!!!

Hahaha, just caught the whole teabags post. :D To quote Elaine from Seinfeld, "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things!"