I love dumb criminals

DE QUEEN, Ark. - The guitar-shaped bulge in Morgan Conatser's clothing tipped off a music store owner that there might be a crime in progress. Clifton Lovell, owner of Guitars and Cadillacs on U.S. Highway 71 in De Queen, was talking with a customer last week when he saw Conatser, 29, walking out of the store.

"I saw him walking out to his pickup truck and the bulges in his leather jacket. I said, 'Hey what have you got there,'" Clifton Lovell said.

He said Conatser, 29, replied, "Nothing."

Lovell pointed toward the unnatural shapes in Conatser's jacket and pants and said, "You've got something."

Conatser then removed a solid body electric guitar from his pants leg and from underneath his jacket.

"The neck of the guitar was almost down to his knee and the back of the guitar was almost up to his neck. It wasn't hard to spot. There was no way he could sit down or get into the pickup," Lovell said.

With the guitar back in the store, Lovell didn't intend to call the sheriff's office. But then he discovered a wireless sound system was missing. Lovell called the Sevier County Sheriff's Department and gave a description of Conatser and his pickup.

Deputy Jeff Wahls called Conatser's father, who told Wahls how to find the house.

The deputy found Conatser at home, where Conatser went to his bedroom closet and retrieved the sound system, Wahls said.

"He made a statement saying he needed the property because he needed to make ends meet," Wahls said.

Conatser was arrested on a charge of theft of property under $500 for the sound equipment because the guitar had already been returned to the shop owner. The sound system was worth about $200.

"This is a new one on me and I couldn't believe he tried," Lovell said. "The strings were pressed down and he didn't make any noise."

Conatser was issued a misdemeanor citation and released. Conatser can resolve the charge by paying a fine or he can contest the charge in Sevier County District Court.


I cant believe someone would actually think they could hide a gutair under there clothing.

lol i loved reading america's dumbest criminals... one of the funniest tho was this guy who got a taxi ran up a rather large bill, told the cabby he had to go inside to get the money, he did and after 30 mins (i think) of waiting, the cabby went to the door to ask what was taking so long the guy replied something along the lines of "what are you talking about?" eventually the police came and he went to jail....

like he expected the cabby to say "man i just got tooled, oh well might as well leave"

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Originally Posted by Dro_Princess

DE QUEEN, Ark. - The guitar-shaped bulge in Morgan Conatser's clothing tipped off a music store owner that there might be a crime in progress. Clifton Lovell, owner of Guitars and Cadillacs on U.S. Highway 71 in De Queen, was talking with a customer last week when he saw Conatser, 29, walking out of the store.

"I saw him walking out to his pickup truck and the bulges in his leather jacket. I said, 'Hey what have you got there,'" Clifton Lovell said.

He said Conatser, 29, replied, "Nothing."

Lovell pointed toward the unnatural shapes in Conatser's jacket and pants and said, "You've got something."

Conatser then removed a solid body electric guitar from his pants leg and from underneath his jacket.

"The neck of the guitar was almost down to his knee and the back of the guitar was almost up to his neck. It wasn't hard to spot. There was no way he could sit down or get into the pickup," Lovell said.

With the guitar back in the store, Lovell didn't intend to call the sheriff's office. But then he discovered a wireless sound system was missing. Lovell called the Sevier County Sheriff's Department and gave a description of Conatser and his pickup.

Deputy Jeff Wahls called Conatser's father, who told Wahls how to find the house.

The deputy found Conatser at home, where Conatser went to his bedroom closet and retrieved the sound system, Wahls said.

"He made a statement saying he needed the property because he needed to make ends meet," Wahls said.

Conatser was arrested on a charge of theft of property under $500 for the sound equipment because the guitar had already been returned to the shop owner. The sound system was worth about $200.

"This is a new one on me and I couldn't believe he tried," Lovell said. "The strings were pressed down and he didn't make any noise."

Conatser was issued a misdemeanor citation and released. Conatser can resolve the charge by paying a fine or he can contest the charge in Sevier County District Court.


I cant believe someone would actually think they could hide a gutair under there clothing.

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LOL my mom lives a few towns over from DeQueen :dance:

Ha ha! That's freakin funny. Another dumb criminal gets busted. :p

Although, there used to be this store where I got my first electric guitar a good 12yrs ago back in Alberta and they had a thief come in with an empty guitar case, whoch they thought had a guitar in it, the guy picks out the guitar he likes, puts it in his empty case, and walks out. :p I remeber the guy telling me and my dad that story, and that's why they wouldn't let anyone with a case enter the store. Good times. :)

he was only checking for fit...

I remeber a few winters ago we had a good foot and a half of snow. These people decided to rob someones house. There was too much snow for them to drive, so they had to walk. When the cops got there all they had to do was follow their tracks in the snow to bust them. I love stupid ppl.

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Originally Posted by Dro_Princess

I remeber a few winters ago we had a good foot and a half of snow. These people decided to rob someones house. There was too much snow for them to drive, so they had to walk. When the cops got there all they had to do was follow their tracks in the snow to bust them. I love stupid ppl.

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Ha ha! My buddies did the same kind of thing. They were drunk one night, went to corner store and nabbed some magazines (lame, I know). The funny thing is, they lived like 2 blocks away from the store. All the cops had to do was follow their tracks from the store, right to their back door. It was snowing outside so it was fresh snow.

Morons make my life more entertaining. :p

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Originally Posted by Nochowderforyou

Ha ha! My buddies did the same kind of thing. They were drunk one night, went to corner store and nabbed some magazines (lame, I know). The funny thing is, they lived like 2 blocks away from the store. All the cops had to do was follow their tracks from the store, right to their back door. It was snowing outside so it was fresh snow.

Morons make my life more entertaining. :p

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HAHA! You would think that someone would realize that they are leaving tracks in the snow. Thats common sense like dont eat yellow snow. When they showed the scene on the news you could see the footprints in the snow from the peoples place they robbed go into the bushes and threw some other peoples back yards. It was classic.

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Originally Posted by Dro_Princess

HAHA! You would think that someone would realize that they are leaving tracks in the snow. Thats common sense like dont eat yellow snow. When they showed the scene on the news you could see the footprints in the snow from the peoples place they robbed go into the bushes and threw some other peoples back yards. It was classic.

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Some people aren't born with common sense. :p Drinking also depletes common sense as well, and we all know that, and in my buddies case, he loses all sense when drinking. This is the same guy who fell through a bathroom roof in a bar, after deciding he wanted to sit in an old VW bug, up above, on a platform on display purposes only :p Yes, he got arrested because of it, but entertaining from my point of view.

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Originally Posted by Nochowderforyou

Some people aren't born with common sense. :p Drinking also depletes common sense as well, and we all know that, and in my buddies case, he loses all sense when drinking. This is the same guy who fell through a bathroom roof in a bar, after deciding he wanted to sit in an old VW bug, up above, on a platform on display purposes only :p Yes, he got arrested because of it, but entertaining from my point of view.

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lol. I bet they keep you entertained while intoxicated. I dont get to hang with cool drunk ppl. My sisters bf is a know it all when he is sober and when he gets drunk i want to gauge my eyeballs out and shovel pencils in my ears. Example: One night we were talking about growing weed. He says if I wanted to do to use a black light. I was like umm no you cant it dont have the right spectrum of light. He goes on to say he used a black light and grew the dankest shit he had ever smoked. Now I know that little drunk know it all is full of shit. I hate people who think they know it all.

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Originally Posted by Dro_Princess

lol. I bet they keep you entertained while intoxicated. I dont get to hang with cool drunk ppl. My sisters bf is a know it all when he is sober and when he gets drunk i want to gauge my eyeballs out and shovel pencils in my ears. Example: One night we were talking about growing weed. He says if I wanted to do to use a black light. I was like umm no you cant it dont have the right spectrum of light. He goes on to say he used a black light and grew the dankest shit he had ever smoked. Now I know that little drunk know it all is full of shit. I hate people who think they know it all.

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Unfortunatly, I moved away to a different province so I don't see them, or talk to them anymore. We were only friends when we drank together, and since I gave up the drinking, they never called anymore and ditched me, so as it turns out, they were never really my friends as booze was the only thing holding it together. Oh well. :) They did entertain me though at the time. Very funny guys. :thumbsup:

A black light huh? Yeah, that's a pretty dumb thing to say. :p But as they say, the inexperienced are always the most ignorant.

I hate friends who are only around for a party and things like that. They are the first one to point fingers or bail when it gets tense.

CAN SOME ONE SEND ME A LINK TO THESE DUMB ASS CRIMINALS???

i doubt i'm going to be able to find a full compilation, as it's a book and they make money off it, but here's a few, gonna search for more cuz i like you :)

http://www.rd.com/content/openConten...ontentId=26792

http://www.dumbcriminals.com/ another one. (these are actually kinda hard to find btw.)

this one is some that i found.

Chicago: A man was wanted for throwing bricks through jewelry store windows and making off with the loot. He was arrested last night after throwing a brick into a Plexiglas window...the brick bounced back, hit him in the head and knocked him cold until the police got there.




Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.


An unidentified man in Buenos Aires pushed his wife out of an eighth-floor window but his plan to kill her failed when she became entangled in some power cables below. Seeing she was still alive, the man jumped and tried to land on top of her. He missed...



Burglars in Larch Barrens, Md., tried to cut through a safe using a Laser Tag gun.



San Antonio, Texas: 45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.