So here's my story.
Pretty much beginning in June I had a slight, sliiight interest in trying out marijuana. I was 16 at the time and I guess it was about time I gave up the whole 'straight edge' thing and saw what all the hype was about. Why are there songs written about it? Shirts that say 'Legalize it!' and just, what is this great substance I've been missing out on? I had, and have, no interest in drinking. From what I've seen, every person I've met who drinks frequently has no personality and has made that their sole purpose in life. Whereas with marijuana there are so many different types of people who do it. So for most of the summer I just joked about it, but the more I was like, "Let's 'score some pot'!" to my boyfriend, the more I really did want to. So one day in late August after about a week of me getting increasingly more serious about it, but still hesitant, he told me he'd finally get some and we could try it that night. He'd done it about three times, all while drunk, back when he used to drink. And he also had a point in saying I shouldn't decide to do something if I'd never even tried it. But I also said, it just didn't appeal to me. I thought I had an addictive personality so if I liked it I'd want to do it all the time and go overboard and become obsessed. That's the way I am with most things. And, no offense, but I didn't want to become a 'stoner'.
So the first time I did it, nothing. And apparently that happens. So I was ok with it, I had really only wanted to try it once. But if I hadn't gotten high then I hadn't REALLY done it. So I decided to do it just a few more times, just get high once and be done with it. I had trouble smoking and actually inhaling, I'm only really used to breathing in air. We did it a couple more times with joints, but I really hated it. So we decided to buy a bong. We walked down to the store but before I could even say anything my boyfriend bought a pipe. I was mad for a bit after that, he didn't even tell me that was a consideration. So I was disappointed after reading up so much on the pros of bong use. Eventually, after about a month of doing it 2+ times a week and NOTHING happening, while my boyfriend was like, "I am so high." and I was like, "I am so bored." Finally one day he said we'd do it ONE more time, and if it didn't work and I didn't like it we'd never have to do it again and he'd give away his pipe. So we went to his friend's house, who I don't really know(but is apparently a pot-smoking guru) and his friend's girlfriend was there. My boyfriend said I would just do it and he wouldn't so he could properly assess the situation and see if I was actually high or not. He thought(and I believe still thinks) I get high but don't realize or admit that I am. So we put both the pipes together and his friend told me to blow it out my nose. After smoking for a while, I blew it out my nose, just once. Then when I looked up it felt like the room had to 'load' and I was moving really slow. I started feeling really fucked up, like I was in a movie or asleep and it was all a dream, or like I had no idea who anyone was. It was really weird for me and I was actually kind of scared. Then of course once my boyfriend noticed I was pretty much stoned he started doing it and I was like, "Hey, you tricked me!" so we were all high. And it was an ok time, we shared some, apparently, really spicy noodles but I couldn't taste A THING. Which was really disappointing, because my boyfriend told me everything tastes amazing when you're high. Then after a few hours we walked back to his house. He asked me how I felt and even then I was like, eh, I still don't see the appeal. I really didn't have a great time at all. I just don't think I'm an 'altered state' type of person. But since I did technically get high that time, we continued doing it.
It is now mid-November and despite many attempts, I've only gotten high a small handful of times, like maybe five. That's out of smoking like three times a week or more(even though we said we'd only do it once every two weeks) and of those times, it really wasn't that great. There are the positive effects, the neutral effects and the negative effects. All I get are the negative effects. I can't taste food, sex is awful and the slight pains I may feel during it are only magnified. I feel nauseous and just start feeling down. The only time I actually did have fun was when my best friend came here to visit me and he and my boyfriend did it in his car. I enjoyed that probably because I was really comfortable and really happy. We had a lot of fun, we listened to some great music and swung on the swings. I couldn't even feel the snow, even though it was freezing out. Then we drove to 7-11(which was SCARY for me. "There's a stop sign coming up. Don't forget to stop. You have to stop at the stop sign"). But as soon as we got home I just laid in bed and felt tired. I don't really like the actual act of smoking either. Sometimes it tastes gross, other times it tastes weird like chocolate or orange juice and after blowing it out my nose for a while it begins to tingle. So when I do get high, I don't enjoy it. And the other times when we smoke, my boyfriend gets high but nothing happens for me. So even then I don't enjoy it. I didn't even want to do it more than once in the first place!
This has actually been causing me a lot of frustration lately because I'm jealous of everyone else, and I really feel like I'm missing out. I've been told I just need to relax, but I think I am. And I'm a pretty positive person, so I don't see why I'm getting these negative effects. And that's just when it actually does work, and I don't know, I think my boyfriend must be EXTREMELY susceptible, whereas I am the polar opposite. It's frustrating how it doesn't work for me and yet my boyfriend gets to enjoy it everytime he lights up.
So the natural solution is just for me to quit doing it. But since my boyfriend and I are attatched at the hip, he's going to keep doing it. And he doesn't want to do it with anyone else but me(even though he has, but won't let me) I'm jealous, and am beginning to resent my boyfriend for his ease of highness. I wish I had said no, let's quit. At the few instances where he offered that up. But anyway, enough of that. I'm hoping you folks at cannabis.com could offer some advice. The few people I know who smoke pot, are pretty much professionals. But no one seems to be able to help. So here's my question:
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
What am I doing wrong? I'm pretty sure that by now I've got the whole inhaling thing down. What else could I do to make it any better for me? Does this happen to other people or am I just some anomaly that repels the positive effects(or even effects) of pot?
Thanks for reading this huge long post.
