Funny 911 Calls~LOL!!

I am watching Jay Leno...and they just had a segment called Funniest 911 Calls..and I had to share these...


First one...this lady calls and is like.."My car battery died..and I'm trapped IN the car."

"I'm starting to hyperventilate...I need someone to come QUICK!"...then the dispatch is like..."So you can't unlock any of the doors?"...and the ladys like "Ohhh...yaaaaa!!! I just pulled the button up!..I didn't even think of that!....thanks alot...I'm so embarrassed now"....LOL...


The next one...this lady calls...and very calmy explains.."I'm watching a movie and some guy is beating another guy with a bat.."

So dispatch is like "A movie?"...and the lady says "Yeah..I got it from Blockbuster" LOL....and dispatch is confused like "So what do you want us to do"...and the lady says "I dunno..what can you do?" haha...then the dispatch is like "Well you could turn off the movie if you don't want to watch it"...and the lady's like..."Oh OK..thanks...bye"...WOW.

Another one...was a guy who called because his car window was iced up..and he wanted a cop to come down to help...the dispatch was like...just put on the defrost...haha...

I would definitely NOT call 911 for any reason other than an emergancy..I don't know what these people were thinking...they were pretty casual..like 911 was a help hotline or something...LOL!


Anyone ever hear of other stuff like this....?

Damn I knew I shoulda put it on Lenno tonight...sounds like funny shit.

hahahha i caught a couple of em the dumb bitch talking about getting ripped off on a taco...LMAO

Ya I missed that last one....I love Leno for some reason...great monologues usually, but HEADLINES has to be the funniest thing.

You would be amazed at how many errors are made in newspapers and in magazines...some of them are hilarious.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=f2JT6Rw1_rY

lmao...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=axl9eaC9Sp8

Oh yeah I watch HEADLINES religiously lol. Sometimes I think people might type them up on purpose and send them in lol.

here's a blast from the past...


"check this out guys this happened 2 nights ago.

i had a guy hanging out at my place. long story short, i broke out my stash around midnight, and he hit the bong a few times with me. i was talking to him about the time my german shepherd was poisened (rick, if i find you, you're DED!) and the dude jumped up off the couch totally freaking out!!

"What's in this shit? What's in this shit?! you bitch! you poisened me! i'm dying, im gonna die"

W.....T......F?????

he runs upstairs, i follow, by the time i got to the den, he's on the phone!!!! the fucker dialed 911!!!

"yeh, im...i think i'm dyin hurry!!!"

he slammed down the phone and started pacing and mumbling and shit! all this woke my brother, who came out in the middle of the call and was trying to talk sense into this fucking maniac. i currently have 8 blueberrys in my closet. oh. shit. fuck.

the very first thing i did was let the dog out and commanded her to gaurd the gate.( she's a very big, very mean, and very big dog) then i turned to beat this fucker with anything i could find for a second before the cops and ambulances and firefighters show up, but my brother had already taken care of it. he hit him so hard, i felt it, and it was over for him.

then the blue lights show up. i'm scared as hell, and high as a fucking kite. but i took my sweatshirt off and ran out the side door and up the hedges and made it to the gate just as he got to the end of the driveway. the dog lay there watching. the cop got out and started to walk to the other gate, but i called out and he walked back to me.

"ma'am we got an emergency call from this address, but the call was unitelligable. are you all right, is everything ok here?"

i said, "sir, i called because i thought i might have been having a stroke or something. i was cleaning my closet out and got real dizzy, and i fell against the wall and slid to the floor. after a minute or two, i crawled to the phone and called 911."

"ok, we'll have the ambulance here asap. don't you worry sweetheart, you're going to be all right."

not over yet right, i'm shaking like a leaf and i didn't have to fake that part! the ambulance shows up and three people get out of it and start to cluster, then two fire trucks pull in next door, and volunteers pour out, the another ambulance and another cop pull in the drive way. one of the paramedics tells me that i need to be seen in the just arriving ambulance. at this point, the dog goes totally apeshit and nobody wants to come in my yard

as three more paramedics get out of this one, the other three helped me into the back of the ambulance. i told them the story of falling/feinting and they did all kinds of tests and it turned out that i just stood up too fast. "no sir, i've never done any drugs in my life! " they ate that shit hook, line, and sinker! they were to busy looking at my tits to see my blood red eyes. the cops left, the fire trucks left, and the e.m.t. had me sign a peice of paper, and bid me good night. as i was going back to the gate, this guy, the one that freaked, comes out staggering and trying to flag down the ambulance as they pulled out of driveway.

The E.M.T,'s waved back at him! lolololol

he turned to me and i kicked him sterile. my brother came out(he has asthma and was having an attack) drug the guy to the truck and drove him 20 mins down the road and left him.

i should be nominated for accademy award, or best actress or something. i mean that is one of the most shaking experiences of my life. But, this is deffinitely the most incredible pulloff i've ever had. qp in my bro's room, 8 plants in mine. and a dumb fuck noob smoker that flipped. he was sexy too.

ps the tank top in 40 degree weather is probably what saved me but you be the judge. do you guys think this worthy of the closecall hall of fame?

love, brooke

my plants are still alive and i'm not in jail"


that's a 911 call!!!

love, kp:p

Damn you deserve an oscar! btw I think we need pics ;)

they should make a movie...

;)

I'd watch it...:D

Who the hell was the guy...? Just some random dude....

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho

http://youtube.com/watch?v=f2JT6Rw1_rY

lmao...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=axl9eaC9Sp8

---

LOL!!...that second one is priceless...haha.


This one's good....

http://youtube.com/watch?v=VqbUsj-h9...elated&search=



This one's great....

http://youtube.com/watch?v=dzgu3uAfj...elated&search=

lmfao

Damn, thats some funny shit, but at the same time, its not if you know what i mean. Just like you said, only ever call if its an emergency cos you could be stopping someone with a real emergency getting through.

But some people must be so dumb lol.

prank calling 911 is a nono. Anyone who does that is a dick.

Ya...its def not cool....but the thing is...theses weren't prank calls...the people were actually serious, which brings the humor in...but they are also fucking stupid and obviously didn't think twice about what they were doing.

^ Maybe there just ill... in a serious head ill kind of way rofl.