Stoner poem contest...(must be about pot)

I put this in a different post but figured it would be fun for all us stoners to write something stupid and make each other laugh with how retarded we can get while baked.

It's poem contest time fuckers!!

It can be just a few lines if you want or get crazy for all I give a shit. Just make sure that smoking weed or pot are in the poem / song whatever.

Ok I'll start.....

I scored a sack of weed that's right.
The night... is gonna be a good one.

They say that fat girls cum alot.
So tonight I fucked...a big one!!

"Snootchie Nootchies!!"

Come on you high- ons....

Went out to get some weed on-lay got no money till friday
gonna roll a nice fat blunt i only do it my way

dont know much about cultivation but i really wanna grow
hope my mum dont find out cuz shes such a hoe

cannabis campbell here stoned, short its CC
cannabis.com is the place to beeee :stoned: lmfao i know its shit i dont have to be told

ill re-post when im baked

Mary is my best friend
She makes me my tea
She let's me stay around her place
When there's nowhere else to be
There's nothing in her bedroom
Just a bed and a TV
And it's okay for men aware
Just sit and drink my tea

Im so lonely
I ain't done much lately
When you come looking
You'll find me sleeping soundly
Mary

Mary keeps me smiling
Even when I'm down
She let's me stay around her place
When there's no-one else around

There's nothing in her bedroom
Just a bed and a TV
And it's okay for men aware
Just sit and drink my tea

I'm so lazy
I ain't done much lately
When you come looking
You'll find me sleeping soundly

And when she comes around
She says I always look so down
And yeah, she's always right
She makes me feel alright

Im so lazy,
I ain't done much lately
When you come looking
You'll find me sleeping soundly
Mary

sorry if this had to your own .. that wasnt my poem, but try to guess whose it is :)

hello my name is hameed
and i likes to smoke the weed
do not exhale with speed
or the THC won't be freed

chillin out
backporch
on to be a long night
with bongs and drunk fights
its hard to sing this song when im high
off weed and some crazy excatsy

stand up and fall back down
the bongs on its new round
gonna hit some of that Dro
listenin to musics crazy sound

So I'm like
"Hello psycho cowboy, how's about a ride."
He looks at me and raises and eyebrow and says
You might have seen me on bilboards and such
But I didn't
And he wasn't
And now it seems to me
that I'll sail the seas of green
a psycadelic scream
like a blast of nitro glycerine
And the cowboy sits there and shakes his head
and tucks his children into bed
and tells them not to be like the starry eyed
Hypnotized
Semi-ostracized
Guy
Who sails the sea of green and wonders why
"The cowboy has it much better than I"

I love this shit man...

Yea, free form poetry is very theraputic. I've writte pages and pages of stuff like that. You just say the first thing that comes to mind and then expound on it and intellectualize it and it turns into this beautiful creative process.
The Man on the radio wont leave me alone, he says
"Go to get your act straight sonny, go play the trombone
and take a little bit of what is your own
in turn it into a trip to the unknown
And I try to turn him down but the static gets
so loud
it hurts my eardrums
and through the snowy sounds something silent says to me
You're doing alright. Despite what they say
Soon everything will be ok and life as you know it will be happy ang gay
But how can it be that this soothing cantaion
was told by the man on the radio station?

Jong

this is a poem about Jong,
he smoked his bong
all night long
this is no song
a poem, thats not wrong



ah fuck it i'm not good at this

Chronic on my brain chronic on my mind
When I smoke chronic it fucks me everytime
Now you see I don't smoke no shwagg weed
If you see me with it then just bitch slap me
Don't blast me, just ask me
To stop, if not, then just walk past me
Im at the point I need some new shit to smoke
Weed that'll fuck me up If I take just one lousy toke
I go to my dealer, he's a crook he's a stealer
But when it comes down to it there's no one realer
I gotta watch my back when I go around him
But when we smoke Its the most fucked up I've ever been
But for now I get an 1/8 of his shit just to try it out
If I like it then I might buy half an ounce
Then I go off to work high as hell (Should I smoke on my lunch break)
Might as well

"Whatever"
Said the Penal CAntalope. His eyes were fixated on the harpoon
"Right-o" he coughed. A little girl nearby heard the comotion and went to check it out.
The Penal Canatlope was about three feet tall with a mean streak a mile wide.
The governer was there too, with his giant green bean machine
He filped some switches and said
"Fuck you bitches"
To the man who made a fatal mistake.

Like the birds in the morning thatbreak into song,I roll outta bed and reach for the bong. Fill my lungs with that sweet smoke,how good does it feel that first toke? Outta all the bongs I smoke each day ,that morning bong just blows me away.:stoned:

here i sit my weed has parted
the fucking DEA
don't get me started
uncle SAM has stole my green
trashed my house
ruined my dream.
they took my pipes
and papers too
they even checked in my goddamn shoe
there is a bright side to all this static
i still got 32 plants up in the attic

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by the yeag

here i sit my weed has parted
the fucking DEA
don't get me started
uncle SAM has stole my green
trashed my house
ruined my dream.
they took my pipes
and papers too
they even checked in my goddamn shoe
there is a bright side to all this static
i still got 32 plants up in the attic

---

LOL!
My vote goes to this one.
Top-drawer! ~

Swirls and Whirls in my brain tonight
Music so true and colors are a delight
This level to me, Baked doesnt sound right.
For it's 3 & I say, "Is it day or is it night?"
My buddy agrees 100%, no argument or fight.
Florida's kryp is more than 'just allright',
for really I am as high as a kite.

There will be a tree in a tree where money comes soon! and thy harvest shall be plentiful. where all medicine comes in handy. For the estrogen shall maketh better because the female is the true form of goodness. Because the true strength lies inside it. But it all comes in stages. Where the true fruit shall eventually flourish. And the true feeling of mother nature will be born.

An embers glow
burns itself out
before you know
and leaves a fond lingering scent
reminding of a time well spent
the green is gone
the bowl is cashed
lets put it down and go get smashed

Come one come all!
Its Green so Tall!
Lets Harvest and Smoke!
Free Bud is Good Toke!

Written by: ME

Here's something I wrote over 12 years ago...

In an Arkansaw town called Hope
They grow the very best dope
Bill Clinton grew strong
Taking hits from the bong
And he even got stoned with the Pope

Now his partner who's name was Al Gore
He liked the stuff even more
He huffed and he puffed
On the magic green stuff
And fell face down on the floor

(Okay, I admit, not very mature or spiritual on my part, just a bit of fun and a blast from the past.)

Here's another one from about the same time period but it's a little more serious...

Scattered remnants of my shattered sanity
Litter the floors of my mind
Alone I wonder through halls of madness
In darkened mirrors I see shadow reflections
Of my former self blindly seeking the lost utopia

Steel doors slam shut locking out my freedom
In cold marbled halls of justice
They have deemed nature a crime
And I must pay for my association
With one of God's green creations...
The hemp plant

By the way, you said this is a contest. What do we win?

I smoke weed
I don't listen to rap and I don't roll blunts
I never felt the need

Yes I smoke the tree
and if you see me in school
I'm working on a degree

I toke the bud
but I don't act like
a wanna be gangster stud

Yes I smoke sinsemilla
but I don't carry a gun
or talk about how I'd
kill 'ya

See, I'm only me
when I burn a fat one
thats all I can be

the monday blues

it started early with the screams
you're 20 minutes late hot beans
get up and shower up wearin jeans
stressin, behavin like crack fiends

shitty work day at shitty pay
peace out im out with a J
then beauty prevails my way
smoke weed all day everyday

pack the bong
play my favorite smoking song
I really dont care if its wrong

Theres my favorite feeling
my own mental healing
feal like i can touch the cealing

oh god im too high
time to say goodbye
go to bed and float in the sky
and to all my fellow smokers...good bye

woah i was oging to write another one.. but I took a little nap on accident....

i believe this is 5 hours later. nite nite hahahahah

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by the yeag

here i sit my weed has parted
the fucking DEA
don't get me started
uncle SAM has stole my green
trashed my house
ruined my dream.
they took my pipes
and papers too
they even checked in my goddamn shoe
there is a bright side to all this static
i still got 32 plants up in the attic

---

ode 2 the DEA part 2

illegal searchers your all about
i blame it on bush
with ought a doubt
when Clinton was in
America was green
we must put to end
this evil regime
curious George is the dictators name
keep searching for W.M.D
the drug war is lame
you have been a failure
your entire life
the air force, oil companies, your ugly ass wife
go smoke a joint, or hit a bong
relax, stop the war
it's time to move on.........


~The pontiff of pot has spoken

One Bong..
Two Bong..
Red Bong..
Blue Bong..
Whould you smoke pot in a box?
Whould you smoke pot with a fox?
Whould you smoke pot here or there?
I smoke pot....Anywhere
Whould you smoke pot in a house?
Whould you smoke pot with a mouse?
I like green bud and Bongs..
I like pot I-R-Stoned

pot. pot.
its so leet
the more u smoke it
the more u eat
smoke a joint
smoke a blunt
hit a bong
fuck some cunt
smoke a bowl
pack another
pass it left
smoke that shit brother

mine sucked

all i want for christmas
is my two weed plants
ill watch em grow
smoke em and dance

how would you like it
if you were grown and then destroyed?
we grow it to enjoy it!
some people may link it to freud!


Ill dodge the legal jargon
and skin up where i please
its a phallocentric neccessity
its jus like eating cheese

SO COME ON MR GOVERNMENT
PLEASE JUST FREE THE TREES!!

i am stoned
and it feels great
i love this lazy feeling
weed is my best mate...

puff puff...lie down...sleep....arrrr

Live your life with weed in your system,
And keep your skunk within,
Your hash will feed you life and laughter,
and breathe below your skin.
Enjoy your personal adventure,
That brings the sense of flight,
Laugh your way to happiness,
hullicinate and feel allright!

someone once asked me
if i agree to the illegal weed case
i took a huge bong rip
and blew it in their face
i told this young man
son, be grand
live your life how u want to
and dont let the government abrupt you
be free, smoke weed, smoke trees, pack a bowl
if you dont do any of the above
then let god save your soul
it is the time young one
please accept this joint i offer
for in the end, u shall praise me as a father

As the stickiness tantalizes your senses
breaking up in your fingers, how dense
these buds are, beautiful, this smells
so good, ahhhh, I hear the church bells
as I stuff up a fat ass bowl wow the aroma
this shit is going to put me into an coma
Ahhh how the smoke fills my lungs to capacity
taking me away from all the world insanity
how it stops to cures all of my nausea, and pain
keeping the beautiful thoughts of the world contained
In the beautiful eloquent minds of stoners

there once was some bud from vermont
it was so dank
the whole apartment stank
umm what was i talking about again?

I think its time for me to smoke i call it skunk i dont call it dope
some people cant keep up with me they just cant cope
they try the easy options like dxm or coke
i just smoke weed everybody knows
some people call it chronic some people call it dro
i dont want coke goin up my nose
yeah i got friends and i got some foes
but i just chill and smoke, stay on the low
smoke a pound a day that just how it goes
keepin me paranoid all day looking out the window
gotta keep a look out for the po po
everyone body smokes weed here just read through the pages
people from every differnt ages and race's
roll up a joint put it to your mouth a light
cannabis.com come togehter and unite

i thought that was pretty good ^_^

bump smoeone read that lol

In a night of destruction
Woken drug induced
Clasping to your soul
Ridin' flames of hell
Slippin' on the edge

In a parallel universe
Things aren't what they seem
Dreams meshed in reality
Take a walk tonight
In a parallel universe
Walkin' in a dream
In scared reality
Lets fly tonight
Through doors of misperception
In a parallel universe

Pain disguised as joy
Surfin' on a cloud
Fallin' far away
Holdin' to yesterday
As it try's to fade away

Jay C Bavet'