gayness as a cop-out?

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10-15-2006, 06:47 PM
turquoise70

gayness as a cop-out?

This was an issue for my best friend before it was ever an issue for me, so it got me thinking, and now I'm wondering if it might apply to me.

Here's the deal. He and I were bestest buddies and we're both pretty bisexual, meaning we each often have gay urges that we each entertain just as welcomingly as straight ones.

Well, he and I have both dated a series of girls who left us high and dry in many ways, everything from just being confused and breaking up without explanation, to professing total love while stealing money and screwing, even dating, other guys behind our backs and being passive aggressive about relationship problems and blaming the entire collapse on us, the guys. And we both decided we were damn sick of it. He told me one time that he was tired of women entirely, he no longer trusted them at all (And he's had even more experience dating than me), and that he was only going to date guys from then on. It worked pretty well from what I hear.

He and I are very similar when it comes to relationships, and when it comes to personality, and who we attract in women, and who (women) tend to be attracted to us. I'm seriously considering just going for men instead of women, even though I'm not as sexually secure giving myself to a guy as I am to a woman. What do you guys think?

I find the gay guys who I've been interested in to generally be far more level-headed, compassionate, and emotionally engaging (and emotionally responsible) than 95% of the girls I know in my agegroup (let's say 18 to 25 years old), even though I'm not quite as sexually attracted to them as I would be to a woman's body. So it's less about finding the gay lifestyle liberating, like an end to itself, and more about being disgusted with every experience I've ever had dating or even considering or even approaching someone of the opposite sex. I guess what I'm wondering is if my personality, like my friend's, just simply lends itself more readily to gay dating.

It's good to keep in mind that I am bisexual and knew this before considering only dating men, so it's not like..."disaffected, disgruntled straight guy who wants to 'get back' at a woman" or something.

Depressing assholes' posts will be ignored. You know who you are.
10-15-2006, 07:23 PM
BabyFacedAbortion

gayness as a cop-out?

Well..all I can really say is who else knows a man better than a man?

//who else knows a woman better than a woman?

I promise to you though, not all women are evil. There are a few really great ones out there..just give it some time, 'cause you're still quite young. (I assume you're between 18-25)
10-15-2006, 07:24 PM
Frivolous248

gayness as a cop-out?

I don't think you should give up on women...Its easy for you to say "well i'm bi so hey i'll just go for guys" but what if you weren't bi? You'd be fucked.

Date whoever, but don't give up on all women.
10-15-2006, 07:26 PM
the yeag

gayness as a cop-out?

ha ha you can't have your cake...and eat it too
10-15-2006, 08:45 PM
Transition Force

gayness as a cop-out?

I've thought of telling people I'm gay just so they'll stop bugging me

I've never dated much, because while i might think a lot of people are hot or whatnot, i don't "fall" for people very often, and i tend to screw up pretty much every relationship i get into

but a lot of my friends and co-workers think i'm gay and joke about it because i'm a virgin and i haven't dated anyone for a long time (and i'm not interested in doing so either)

so what do you guys think? would it be wrong for me to just say i'm gay so people will stop bugging me?
10-15-2006, 08:48 PM
Frivolous248

gayness as a cop-out?

...well, if your gay then tell them you are.

but even so, then they'd bug you about not having a boyfriend.
10-15-2006, 09:15 PM
hello3pat

gayness as a cop-out?

To turquoise70:
There are a large number of gay men who started out being bi and then got tired of the games a lot of women play and a lot of the bullshit that can happen with straight relationships, so they end up swearing off women. I personaly, never had an interest in women to begin with, but I have dated women before I came to terms with my homosexuality and I find straight relationships harder to keep going once they are started because ussualy neither party truly knows how the other is feeling on certain subjects of the relationship.

To Transition:
Tell them the truth about yourself be it gay or straight, and also you don't apreciate their jokes and if they don't stop still, your friends realy aren't much of friends and your co-workers are just douchbags
10-16-2006, 12:15 PM
JMRinFLA

gayness as a cop-out?

I think you're gay but you are just having trouble adjusting to that bit of knowledge! Blaming women in general for the issues you've had with them gives you a reason to be exclusive to men. Don't worry about justifying your sexuality, just accept yourself and have fun.
10-16-2006, 02:47 PM
gr8misadventures

gayness as a cop-out?

I'm bi. Female. I have known this since shortly before starting college when I was 19. I have had a handful of experiences with women, and I have enjoyed them, but I think I know in the long run it will be a man I end up with - if I end up with anyone (I am pretty content being technically single, dating around, and not having to answer to anyone). I have a lesbian cousin who is committed to her partner and a gay uncle who just married his partner of the last 14 years.

So, to turquoise, maybe you should stick with men for a while and see what happens. Maybe you will start finding women desirable again, maybe not. But you owe it to yourself to focus on one or the other. When I first started messing around with women, it caused SO much confusion - I didn't know who or what I really wanted and it's because I wasn't taking the time to learn about myself. Learn who you are. You have SO much time to make mistakes...try to nip this one in the bud, so to speak...
10-16-2006, 03:53 PM
partyguy420

gayness as a cop-out?

Quote:

Originally Posted by turquoise70

This was an issue for my best friend before it was ever an issue for me, so it got me thinking, and now I'm wondering if it might apply to me.

Here's the deal. He and I were bestest buddies and we're both pretty bisexual, meaning we each often have gay urges that we each entertain just as welcomingly as straight ones.

Well, he and I have both dated a series of girls who left us high and dry in many ways, everything from just being confused and breaking up without explanation, to professing total love while stealing money and screwing, even dating, other guys behind our backs and being passive aggressive about relationship problems and blaming the entire collapse on us, the guys. And we both decided we were damn sick of it. He told me one time that he was tired of women entirely, he no longer trusted them at all (And he's had even more experience dating than me), and that he was only going to date guys from then on. It worked pretty well from what I hear.

He and I are very similar when it comes to relationships, and when it comes to personality, and who we attract in women, and who (women) tend to be attracted to us. I'm seriously considering just going for men instead of women, even though I'm not as sexually secure giving myself to a guy as I am to a woman. What do you guys think?

I find the gay guys who I've been interested in to generally be far more level-headed, compassionate, and emotionally engaging (and emotionally responsible) than 95% of the girls I know in my agegroup (let's say 18 to 25 years old), even though I'm not quite as sexually attracted to them as I would be to a woman's body. So it's less about finding the gay lifestyle liberating, like an end to itself, and more about being disgusted with every experience I've ever had dating or even considering or even approaching someone of the opposite sex. I guess what I'm wondering is if my personality, like my friend's, just simply lends itself more readily to gay dating.

It's good to keep in mind that I am bisexual and knew this before considering only dating men, so it's not like..."disaffected, disgruntled straight guy who wants to 'get back' at a woman" or something.

Depressing assholes' posts will be ignored. You know who you are.

i know how that is... i swear to god, every single one of debs(the girl i just broke up with) ex boyfriends, have gone gay... because of the way that she has treated them is what i think... i mean, if you read some of my most recent posts... it will telll you how many times she cheated on me, and for a while she was just using me for a place to live... blah blah blah.... i hate stupid blonde whores... hopefuly, today the girl im gonna ask out will say yes, and hopefuly that girl wont act the same as my EX, cause if that happens, im gonna losse all hope in loveing another humanbeing(to be more spacific, women) and im just gonna start being a player agin
10-17-2006, 06:49 AM
az666

gayness as a cop-out?

Im in the same boat...but i figured the best way was to keep my options open.
Im not going to say im not going to date anymore women because the one I truley love may come along and im afraid I might tell her im gay.
But the same goes for men....i might miss the man im looking for if im with a woman.
10-17-2006, 07:02 AM
Ol Schwaggy Bastard

gayness as a cop-out?

Keep your options open, but go for whoever you connect you. And I'd bet anything a guy could suck dick 10000 times better than the average female.
10-17-2006, 04:39 PM
gr8misadventures

gayness as a cop-out?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ol Schwaggy Bastard

Keep your options open, but go for whoever you connect you. And I'd bet anything a guy could suck dick 10000 times better than the average female.

Hey now
10-17-2006, 11:03 PM
Ol Schwaggy Bastard

gayness as a cop-out?

Quote:

Originally Posted by gr8misadventures

Hey now

It's a scientific fact that most girls don't understand the necessary components of a good blow job. Scientific. It usually ends up being hotter watching a girl go down on you than it is feeling it.
10-17-2006, 11:57 PM
Chuddy

gayness as a cop-out?

I'm on the same boat.

Every guy I'm interested in seems much more level headed than every girl I've dated.

Women are evil!:p