Warning! some egos may be bruised!

Men are like....

1. Men are like ...Laxatives ......
They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like.Bananas ....... The
older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like ......Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like .......Blenders You
need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for
your hips.

6. Men are like ....Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like Department Stores .....
Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like ......Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like .....Mascara . They
usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like .Popcorn ..... They
satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You
never know when they're coming, how many inches
you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like .Lava Lamps .... Fun
to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like Parking Spots
.......... All the good ones are taken, the rest
are handicapped.


hahahaha this was to funny not to share :D:D
and remember its just for fun ;)

Haha, that's funnyy, I must admit.

Ouch though :p

:D funny stuff... presented in such a tactful manner too! I love it, thanks Ammie.

Some people could learn a thing or two from you about posting on a forum!

Thanks for sharing.
Bob.

Men are like blenders..hahah. So true :(

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by BobBong

:D funny stuff... presented in such a tactful manner too! I love it, thanks Ammie.

Some people could learn a thing or two from you about posting on a forum!

Thanks for sharing.
Bob.

---

Thanks BB just being myself ;)


Some men are like banana's hahahahahaha :D:D

can i order a couple of the # 7's please?

do you take credit card?

LOVE :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MaryJaneScott

can i order a couple of the # 7's please?

do you take credit card?

LOVE :)

---

hahahaha Indeed!! we also take check,money orders, and foodstamps :D:D
Now everyone can have there very own number 7 w00000t:dance:

I'm like a bag of #10.

I satisfy you over...and over...and over... and over...

:D

Women Are Like

...the stock market
They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.

...computers
They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one.

...Saran Wrap
Useful but clingy.

...horses
Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after.

...parking meters
If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.

...fax machines
Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights.

...political campaign contributors
If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them.

...refrigerators
They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.

...blue jeans
They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

...country western songs
They're annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.


Take that Ammie! ;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by WeedGremblin

Women Are Like

...refrigerators
They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.

---

OH!! thats so not true. Im Always Hawk and I most def always have a cold beer :D

]HA so take that to the bank weed :p

but the last 2 really take the cake :-P

if this was jeopardy the question would be
why do some girls go lesbian? lol!

hahahah ammie

Womanese 101.

"we are not the same type"
womanese for "you are not rich"

"But I love him"
womanese for, "He can run over me with a car and I would say it was an accident.

"no rush"
womanese for, "it will never happen"

"its late"
womanese for, "we arent going to bed together"

"I will be ready in thirty minutes"
womanese for, "I will be ready in two hours"

"we had an amicable divorce"
womanese for, "I took him to the cleaners"

"I have never felt this way toward a man before"
womanese for, "I have never felt this way toward a man.............this week.

"lets see where this goes"
womanese for, "this aint going anywhere"

"ill do anything you want"
womanese for, "you just hit paydirt"

"we had a bumpy marriage"
womanese for, "I nagged him to death"

"i like sensitive guys"
womanese for, "I like to dominate men"

"we had an on again, off again relationship"
womanese for, "I kept him around until the next turkey showed up"

"our lives have changed"
womanese for, "I am dumping you because I cant change you, you moron".

"im tired of games"
womanese for, "the next guy that shows up will get lucky"

"I dont go out with someone who makes less than I do"
womanese for, "now I know what a rich man goes through"

"we are in a transitional stage"
womanese for, "he will be history next month"

"we grew apart"
womanese for, "he forgot about romance and affection"

"money isnt important"
womanese for, "money is important and thats why I brought it up"

"looks arent important"
womanese for, "you better believe looks are important"

"we remain on good terms"
womanese for, "you would pass out if you saw the size of these alimony checks"

"i am dieting"
womanese for, "I have no plans to eat less"

"I am short"
womanese for, "I am fat"

"sleeping together"
womanese for, "we are not sleeping together"

"where is this going"
womanese for, "when are we going to get married"

"we broke up"
womanese for, "I dumped his ass"

"petite or slender" (in a dating ad)
womanese for, "10 pounds overweight"

"chemistry"
womanese for, "I had instant high interest level"

"I am thirtyish
womanese for, "my fourteth birthday is tommorrow"

"he played games"
womanese for, "I am structured and have no sense of humor"

"I have nothing to wear"
womanese for, "I have 4 closets full of clothes"

"Ill think about it"
womanese for, "not if we were stranded on a desert island"

"i love you"
womanese for, "now its your turn to say it"

"I cant figure you out"
womanese for, "you being an emotional challenge are raising my interest level"




Right back at ya.

hahaahahahaha thats MINT!

LMFAO. Some of these are so true.

"Women are like

...fax machines
Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights."

I may just put this in my siggy. :D

hahahahahahahahahahaha

Good one!!!!!

lmfao so true.. Great thread :).

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ammie

Men are like....

1. Men are like ...Laxatives ......
They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like.Bananas ....... The
older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like ......Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like .......Blenders You
need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for
your hips.

6. Men are like ....Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like Department Stores .....
Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like ......Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like .....Mascara . They
usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like .Popcorn ..... They
satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You
never know when they're coming, how many inches
you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like .Lava Lamps .... Fun
to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like Parking Spots
.......... All the good ones are taken, the rest
are handicapped.


hahahaha this was to funny not to share :D:D
and remember its just for fun ;)

---

and where's the woman version?

Mwheheheheh

Ego's are overrated anyway. ;)

you woman still fuck us horrible men
what does that say about you ladies

[a hard dick goes farther than a good heart]

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Captain Hanks

and where's the woman version?

---

How did u miss this:confused:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by WeedGremblin

Women Are Like

...the stock market
They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.

...computers
They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one.

...Saran Wrap
Useful but clingy.

...horses
Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after.

...parking meters
If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.

...fax machines
Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights.

...political campaign contributors
If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them.

...refrigerators
They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.

...blue jeans
They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

...country western songs
They're annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.


Take that Ammie! ;)

---

Heres the best i could think of...

Women are like tornadoes, first theres a lot of sucking and blowing, then you lose your house.

Men are like newborn babies. They're cute at first, but you get tired of picking up their crap.

Men are like old car tires. Balding, full of hot air, and it never hurts to have a spare.

Men are like roller coasters: when it's good you don't want to get off, and when it isn't... you can't wait to throw up.

ouch. ok, now let me try and even this out a bit...

Women are like condoms; they spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Women are like rocks... the flat ones are easier to skip.

Ammie did u just git dumped ? so u decided to start a thread?

Why would you ask that?

She states at the beggining that it was just in good fun.

or did she say that so nobody would say what i said but since i guessed what she was thinkin u r pissed off at me cuz i was smart enuff to think of it first? think about that

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by the joint meister

or did she say that so nobody would say what i said but since i guessed what she was thinkin u r pissed off at me cuz i was smart enuff to think of it first? think about that

---

I could barely make out your message because you slaughtered english and grammar almost beyond repair. I'm not usualy one to talk about bad grammar but when it's practicaly illegible there is a problem. Remember, punctuation is your friend.

But I pieced it together.


Yes, she did say it was in good fun that so people wouldn't assume she was hating men because of something in her life.

But if she was pissed about a breakup, why would she hide it by saying it was in good fun? Why wouldn't she just state at the beggining, "I am going through a rough breakup and hate men right now so here are some anti-men jokes."

Actually, the Joint master I happen to be in a very sucessful relationship. I just thought it was funny and that someone else would appreciate alil humor on these dry boards :confused: OH and Weedgremblin posted the women version ,which i might add was just as funny/yet true :o


anyways guys toke up and chill out. and as a wise women on these borards once told me its just for fun, its just for fun, its just for fun :D