Lets share our humiliating moments....

I was on my way to work one morning running very late....

My morning ritual (in my young and dumb days) was to always smoke weed on the way in to work. I didn't have time to roll a joint so I grab my plastic "Graffix" bong (a pretty looking red 10" to 12" stand up bong) and figure I'll grab some roaches from the ash tray and that will suffice for the morning wake and bake.

I'm speeding because I'm running late thru a small town where the speed limit is like 25 (I'm already late so why speed?) What happens? I get pulled over by the po po'....

As soon as the officer steps to the window, of course the cloud of smoke rolls out and he asks me to "step out of the car"..here we fuckin' go......

He tells me to "spread em" and put my hands on the hood of the car and dont move!! He frisks me to no evail and I can tell this muther fucker is in a bad mood....

He asks. "Where's the weed?" and I tell him that I dont have any (and I didn't) and he proceeds to tear my car apart all to hell! This cop is madder than hell at me at this point and keeps asking where the stash is... I repeat to him that there is none in the car.

"Well well, what do we have here?"

He finds the bong under the seat and places that fucker on the roof of the car. I ask him to please not do that and he say abruptly..."Put your fucking hands back on the hood NOW!!!"...whoa....

He finds the roaches in the ash tray and as he puts them in the bowl of the bong on the roof of my car he keeps saying,"trace is a case", puts another in the bowl and says "trace is a case" and so on till he empties the ash tray (about 4 or 5 roaches).

I'm embarrased as all hell because of this bong on the roof of my car as people drive by while my hands are on the hood of the car. I look up and guess who's driving by? A fellow employee of mine that just so happens to be running late as well....great...just great!!

There I am with my hands on the hood my car at like 7am in the morning like a criminal with my pretty red "Graffix" bong standing out like a sore thumb on the hood of the car.

By the time I get to the shop I get a rousing standing ovation from my co-workers!!

Simply beautiful.

P.S.

I did get out of being busted, but thats a whole other story.......

I don't go through embarassing situations like that. The closest I've come was one time when going to NY. I was taking the train and it was a lazy summer day. So, since there wasn't alot of people around, I smoked right there in the train platform (which is next to Asbury Park Police Station). So everything is cool and I decide I'm hungry.

So I walk across the street to a West Indian restuarant. My friends sister was working there and as soon as I walked in, she comes from behind the counter and pushes me in the kitchen. I'm like, "Sylvia, I thought there was chemistry between us but damn.". At which point she promptly scolds me for walking into the shop and smelling like herb...which I didn't realize or I would have 'freshened' up first.

She got me my food and sent me on my way. As I'm walking out, the heffer throws a bottle of visene at me. She was always like the older sister I wanted to drown in the swimming pool.

In the summer of 1999 I was on a pretty big drinking binge...

I went to a liquor store and bought a 5th of Bacardi Limon. I proceeded to open the bottle right there in the parking lot and take a "big slug" off of the bottle to get me "primed"....

As I twist the cap back on and throw the bottle behind my truck seat, I look to my right and there's a cop sitting in his squad car right next to me!!!

He was looking down doing some kind of paper work and didn't even notice!!!

My heart sunk into my gut and after that!!!

just a couple weeks ago i was so blazed i walked into the ladies bathroom at Canada's wonderland [big amusement park if you've never heard of it], and literally 2 dozen chicks stop everything they are doing and stare at me. i said "oh shit" and left, and was greeted by a nice crowd of people ready to laugh their ass off at me for being such a dumbass

One time I was blazed at school and my 1st period is in a trailer so there are 2 exits. A pass comes for me to go to guidance(something about scheduling) so I get up (blazed as fuck) and walk towards the back. People have been going in and out of the back door all morning but when I get back there I can't open it, so then i walk around the whole room to get to the front door while the teacher and everyone stares at me.The only person that knew I was high was my friend, and he couldn't stop laughing. Turns out I just wasn't pushing hard enoughon the door.. What can I say, i'm weak when i'm stoned.

That's the best I got.

In my earlier drinking days, i attended a wedding reception with my partner and my mate and his woman, afterwards we were staying at my mates g/friends who lived with her gran, well in the night i got up to do a piss and not used to the surroundings proceeded to the living room and fell asleep on the couch (stark naked) and still pissed drunk

When i woke around 7am the old granny was walking about doing her chores etc and i found a small jacket covering my private parts..

Well it took about 10 mins to realize that she placed it there!!!

My mate thought it was hillarious and never lets me forget...

DOH..

:)

this one time when i was in a park's restroom i was chillin in there and it was just after a sports game so thats why i went there and so it was like 9 at night and i was about smoking a blunt and to my surprise who walks in a police officer i was like oh shit he opens it and calls in anyone here and i go yep i am just getting my stuff and i will be ready to go cause he was closing the bathroom so kids dont vandalize it at night and so i walk out and he goes hey wait a min and i look to him and he goes is that your bag it was my duffel bag and i walk in and get it he must have thought i played sports cause of the bag but the bag had an oz in it a scale a pipe a freshly rolled blunt all inside i was so scared and nervous

Fucking hilarious!!!keep em' coming guys!!

One day me and my friend were smoking and decided we didnt wanna drive anymore so we call our other friend to driveand well smoke her out. Shes says ok meet me at my house. So stoned as fuck we drive to her house and i cal her and tell her were here. she says shell meet us outside. well i get out with the bong and weed, the bong was under a shirt, then she comes out and WTF her mom is right behind her. At that point i freaked and forgot the bong was in my hand so i drop that shit. It pops out and slams on the ground and water flies out then the bowl flies out. Her mom saw everything so i picked the bong up and pretended like it was a drink and huge cup. well i guess it worked cuz the mom just waved at me and smiled. WOW lucky me. So then we got in her car and then BLAZED!:stoned:

Most dumb I have felt stoned was walking though a big apartment store trying to find the exit. I was in my own little world and saw a corridor leading to another bit of shop. I though great the way out and went towards it passed a woman who said hang on, I didn't pay attention to her and carried on walking.... and hit a mirror. I had walked in to the womans changing rooms bang in to a mirror. I felt a right muppet.

Okay, here's a humiliating moment. In fact, I find it hard to believe this one can be topped.

When I was in the Army and living in the barracks, I got the munchies. Unfortunately, the mess hall was closed, but I did have a half pound bag of sunflower seeds, the kind still in the shell. Well, I got lazy, and decided it was too much effort to take the shells off for those tiny little seeds, and the munchies were hitting me really badly, so I just started gobbling the seeds whole.

About 6 or 8 hours later, my stomach felt kinda weird, a little crampy, and I suddenly needed to take a crap, so I went to the bathroom and had a seat on the toilet. The problem was, the splinters from the sunflower seeds had congealed into this gigantic ball of splintery shit, and this ball was simply too big in diameter to come out of my asshole.

I grunted and groaned, but no matter how hard I tried, that huge splintery ball of shit would not come out, and with every clench of my butt muscles, splinters were being driven into the inside of my ass. It was so excruciatingly painful that I was crying and screaming, and my roommate happened to hear me and came to see what was wrong.

When I explained my predicament to my roomie, he couldn't stop laughing. He asked if there was anything he could do, get a doctor, anything? I said, no, I don't need a doctor, I need a fuckin' spoon. He started to ask why I needed a spoon of all things, then he realized what I intended to do with it, and that REALLY made him laugh. By that point, everyone in the barracks knew what was going on (in part because my screams woke up pretty much everyone), and everyone was laughing their asses off.

My roomie returned shortly and slipped me the spoon underneath the stall door. And I jammed that spoon up my ass and broke that big ass ball of splintery shit up into smaller pieces. It was pretty gross! But whatcha gonna do? I figured I'd rather do it myself than have some doctor digging around my ass doing pretty much the same thing I was doing.

After that experience, my nickname around the barracks was 'Spoon'.

;)

when i was back in high school there were some tunnels that started off of school property and went under the school parking lot as a drainage ditch, the tunnel is barley big enough to crawl through and then it widens out, me n my friend skipped class and went down there to puff down and we finished two joints before we heard sirens and saw cop cars speeding through the parking lot threw a hole for drainage, we wwere freaking out cause we thot they were three for us and we called up a friend who came and picked us up from the tunnel exit, it was a fire drill and we felt stupid as shit

alright, this one is good:

i was high as fuck and went to a party. we were running around outside playing games in the dark, and i was running away from a couple of my friends that were "it" and i ran straight into a barbed wire fence. i got three holes punched in my stomach.

the worst part: a couple of my friends were hiding a few feet away and decided that they'd rather take bets on whether or not i'd run into the fence then warn me that it was there.


another time i was high tubing behind a boat, and i fell off the tube. i thought i felt some seaweed on my legs so i kicked it off. my friend turns the boat around to pick me up, and i get into the boat only to realize that i had kicked off my swimming suit. i ended up wearing a towel the rest of the afternoon

I walked in on my mom in the bathroom. Thats the worst one out of all.

Speaking of the spoon:

I worked with a dude who used some welding rod to break up a constipated ball of hard shit in his ass. It worked. It fuckin' worked.

Thats absolute class jamstigator! I bet that took some living down.

I was break dancing when I was in jumior high (dont ask me why I took up that hobby in that phase in my life but I did) at a school dance and I totally ripped the seam of my pants from the crotch all the way up the back of my ass.

Totally embarassing man. Everyone was in a circle clapping and shit while I was tearing it up (literally).

A couple days later the pictures were posted in the hallway. There I was in my breakdancing glory with my tighty whiteys all hanging out and shit.

"No parking baby.....No parking on the dancefloor!!"

i went to my community college high one day, decided to say fuck class, and as i was leaving i went into the bathroom...when i got there i was like hm this is weird why the fuck arent there urinals? I was high so i didnt think anything of it, then i started to take a piss, in the stall and was like wait a sec...am I in the girls bathroom?! aw shit I thought to myself as I heard someone come in, as I peaked out of the stall I saw this girl, and i was like shit! I AM in the girls bathroom...high as hell I decided to wait till the girl left and just follow right out behind her hoping she didnt turn around, and for some reason I got lucky and she didnt! So I just took off and left and went to go smoke another few bowls

When I was in 8th grade, it was the last few weeks of school so me and my friends thought we'd end it with a bang. So we all decided to come to school drunk as shit (i was young and stupid). SO befor we got on the bus, we took chugs of Captin Morgan, my friend snuck it out his house. Well the school day was pretty fun, untill i started feeling sick. At this point I was piss drunk. So i accedently went into the girls bathroom, and started throwing up in 1 of the stalls, (and all over the rest of the bathroom). And my girlfriend was in their, and all her friends. So it was embarassing as hell. An I got suspended for the rest of the year, and so did my friends.

Ok so I start off the day im grouchy as hell been dry for a few days and it was really starting to annoy me because i just wanted to relax. Then out of nowhere my buddy comes over to my house with a pleasant smile on his face. I was like whats up man what do you wanna do today? He replies well toking in your room would be a start. At this point im like man i love you come on up my moms in the pool we can smoke it out and she wont even know....... Well we go up to my room after about 3 bowls we call it good, well I grab my glass of tea from my little table beside my bed and proceed down stairs with him in the lead. We reached the bottom and I spilled a little bit of my tea, wich caused me to say man I cant even hold a glass straight im so baaaaakkkkkeeed. What in the hell cause me to say that i will never know my buddy's face went pale and his mouth dropped and i proceeded to say what dude? you are pretty fucked 2 aren't ya? So i go to walk to my kitchen and my mom is standing around the corner from where i was in her swim suit looking madder then hell...... It ended up in a quick by mom me and buddy #1 are gonna be gone for the whole day im crashin at his house see you after work....... lol man good times, good times

my mum caught me wankin simple

one time, i was fuckin' high in school, and i wanted to get out of class, so i asked to go to the washroom (which was hard enough, bumping into every desk and shit) and finally, as i'm leaving, i walk right into the wall next to the doorway...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jamstigator

Okay, here's a humiliating moment. In fact, I find it hard to believe this one can be topped.

When I was in the Army and living in the barracks, I got the munchies. Unfortunately, the mess hall was closed, but I did have a half pound bag of sunflower seeds, the kind still in the shell. Well, I got lazy, and decided it was too much effort to take the shells off for those tiny little seeds, and the munchies were hitting me really badly, so I just started gobbling the seeds whole.

About 6 or 8 hours later, my stomach felt kinda weird, a little crampy, and I suddenly needed to take a crap, so I went to the bathroom and had a seat on the toilet. The problem was, the splinters from the sunflower seeds had congealed into this gigantic ball of splintery shit, and this ball was simply too big in diameter to come out of my asshole.

I grunted and groaned, but no matter how hard I tried, that huge splintery ball of shit would not come out, and with every clench of my butt muscles, splinters were being driven into the inside of my ass. It was so excruciatingly painful that I was crying and screaming, and my roommate happened to hear me and came to see what was wrong.

When I explained my predicament to my roomie, he couldn't stop laughing. He asked if there was anything he could do, get a doctor, anything? I said, no, I don't need a doctor, I need a fuckin' spoon. He started to ask why I needed a spoon of all things, then he realized what I intended to do with it, and that REALLY made him laugh. By that point, everyone in the barracks knew what was going on (in part because my screams woke up pretty much everyone), and everyone was laughing their asses off.

My roomie returned shortly and slipped me the spoon underneath the stall door. And I jammed that spoon up my ass and broke that big ass ball of splintery shit up into smaller pieces. It was pretty gross! But whatcha gonna do? I figured I'd rather do it myself than have some doctor digging around my ass doing pretty much the same thing I was doing.

After that experience, my nickname around the barracks was 'Spoon'.

;)

---

NO fucking way man!! LMAO that was tooooooooo much :D Im eating fucking in-shell sunflower seeds right now, and i am SO careful about removing the shell!! :D

this one time i was drunk and i took a bottle of vodka and some one had pissed in it and i was going to take a sip but i spat it out cuase it was warm.... being drunk sux sorta :p

alright a buddy of mine we just getting rdy to go to school we woke up early enough b4 school and we decided we needed some ganja so we went to his brothers house got a half and he asked if we wanted to smoke we were not sure if hwe wanted to out not bc that day of school we had to go into gym and listen to our teachers and shit tell us about wat a great year there had teaching us anyways we decide to smoke just one bowl with him harmless right?? we for some reason once we were done we have about 10 mins to get to school and i look over at him and was like fuckkk... we new we were in shit bc we were fuckin stoned we get to school and one of the teachers starts to talk and all we can do i laugh everyone new we were stoned...she was like well i hope u guys reach up high and ... started to laugh again LOUDLY they took us out of the gym and just put us in a empty class room and we laugh the rest of the day ( by the way wat we were smokin was somthing call hydro chron..) new is was diffrent just by takin that first hit.. crazy shit that day.

Hilarious!!! That feeling in class baked and worried that everyone knows it.

well i never knew where to put this...so i put it here.
i smoke alone cause non of my friends like smoking pot (they have tryed it but dont like it)...does that make me a loser???
does anyone els smoke allone?

one time me and my friend bought a half o of some of the bombest kush i had ever seen.. well we take his brand new JB bong to my friends house to smoke well were sitting here packen bowls and theres about a quad left and some one gives me 2 jolly ranchers.. well like a dumbass i put both of them in my mouth and take a rip... i choked on them and spent the rest of the night drinking hot tea and throwing up trying to dislodge the 2 full size jolly ranchers out of my throat lol well after that they were done smoking and i wasnt even high anymore because of what i went through lol... That was probably the only time anything embarsing has ever happend to me.. but my friends never let me live it down lol

ah.. ok.. about a year ago I was kinda new to pot.. you know, low tolerance. anyway me and 4 friends decide to go blaze in a forest nearby.. we smoke a few bowls, probably a little more than a quad and decide to head out to mcdonalds. On our way out (it was all muddy) we had to cross this little path and go 4 steps up a little hill.. anyway, for some reason I decide to take another route..(about 2 steps to the right) from everyone else.. thinking it looked safer.

I slipped going up the little hill because it was all muddy and was holding up to a branch while my friend gave me a hand.. and my other friend leading the pack stopped and turned around saying ALY G IS DOWN! that's when I burst out laughing while trying to get up cuz it was simply hilarious..

that wasn't so bad because I knew them.. but it doesn't end there. We go to Mcdonalds and when we are leaving.. I keep sliding to my left and off the booth landing on my ass..... only 2 people saw me though.. but that was pretty bad hah.

sorry for the long pot:P thought i'd let you guys hear it..

i still think mine really sucked lol not as bad as jamstigator though lol

I walked in on a friend's wife in the bathroom once. She had like 40" super-sized breasts, and when she turned to see who had opened the door, my jaw just dropped and I just stood there like an idiot saying, "Uhhhh..." until she pushed me out the door. Hey, I was like 16, and this was pre-Internet so I'd never even seen much porn, so mongo breasts like that, right when I was in the thralls of puberty...what a shock to my brain!

I was stoned at a track meet and had the munchies so I walked up to the snack shack got nachos and a coke then decided to take short cut back down the hill I guess it had just rained the night before but any ways I take two steps down slipped and slid the rest of the down. BUT I did not spill the nachos although i have no Idea what happened to the coke.

All I know is......"Shiggernigget" has to be one of the coolest fucking names I've ever heard of.

Awsome!

i can't really think of anything to funny that has happend so far, except for a time awhile back when me and a bud went to burger king after getting ripped...

when it was our turn to order i said the follow: "can i get the try our new angus bacon cheesburger?"

first time i had ever smoked some good bud.. it was actually some dro but me and a few buddys wanted to go to the movie theater and see a good movie after we bonged out my truck. So i was EXTREMELY high (and this is when i first started smoking) yeah i had the laughs and shit.. but yeah there was about 4 of us in line to buy tickets.. and there was so many people around me .. and it seemed like they were all looking at me and watching me, so for some reason i just started laughing my ass off it was so embarrassing... i really felt like i was mentally retarded hahah.. crazy shit :stoned:

OK... my most/only embarassing moment when smoking the Cheeba.

Id just bought a half ounce from my dealer, and was going to my buddies house to sleep over. Id just finished a nice bong, and he decides to go to the toilet. Being stoned, I thought it would be a funny idea to switch his bedroom light off and hide behind the door, ready to shout 'BOO' when he comes back in. So I hear the toilet flush, and a few seconds later the light switches on. I jump out, and for some reason instead of shouting 'BOO' I shout 'FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER!' with my hands out in the shape of a pistol.

His dad was staring back at me. He stood there for a few seconds, grunts, then walks off. Ben came back in the room to find me with a horrified expression on my face, calling me 'a right twat'.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Blunt420

When I was in 8th grade, it was the last few weeks of school so me and my friends thought we'd end it with a bang. So we all decided to come to school drunk as shit (i was young and stupid). SO befor we got on the bus, we took chugs of Captin Morgan, my friend snuck it out his house. Well the school day was pretty fun, untill i started feeling sick. At this point I was piss drunk. So i accedently went into the girls bathroom, and started throwing up in 1 of the stalls, (and all over the rest of the bathroom). And my girlfriend was in their, and all her friends. So it was embarassing as hell. An I got suspended for the rest of the year, and so did my friends.

---

fag move.

[quote=Aly_G]ah.. ok.. about a year ago I was kinda new to pot.. you know, low tolerance. anyway me and 4 friends decide to go blaze in a forest nearby.. we smoke a few bowls, probably a little more than a quad
QUOTE]

low tolerance+1/4= smashed.

few bowls doesnt sound like a quarter :P

i went to a party one night during the beginning of my senior year in high school, at the time i was very inexperienced with alcohol. this was a huge party too and several people from my school were there. i wound up having waay too much vodka and woke up naked in a random bed the next morning. throughout the humiliating pointing, whispering, and laughing of the next week i eventually pieced together what happened that night. apparently i pissed myself, went outside and rolled around in the dirt, took off my clothes, walked around a bit, was helped in and out of a shower by a big black guy, then passed out. im extremely glad i cant remember any of it.