Politically correct (men-women)

I noticed that posting jokes is a current trend, so I thought I'd add my 2 cents with a funny e-mail I rcvd today. My apologies if this one has been posted before...



HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
11. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
12. She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN! DRUNK-He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION
8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
10. He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
11. It's not his crack you see hanging out of his pants....It is MALE CLEAVAGE.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by clevemire

9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

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Heheheeh.....love it ;)

Peace

ya thats some funny shit! i particularly liked
1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. :eek: hahaha

Haha!!! Funny as hell!

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Originally Posted by clevemire

4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION

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That's me :D

lol nice one cleve, thanks :)

Good 1 ~Clevemire~ ,,,LMAO,,, :p

Quote:

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11. It's not his crack you see hanging out of his pants....It is MALE CLEAVAGE.

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--classic :D

LoL

:D Well Clevemine I not seen that one before.......but hats off to you m8 it was a bloody good laugh, which makes a nice change from all the other shit that goes on in here.....10/10 ;)

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Originally Posted by kiwi

:D Well Clevemine I not seen that one before.......but hats off to you m8 it was a bloody good laugh, which makes a nice change from all the other shit that goes on in here.....10/10 ;)

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Thank you, thank you everyone.
I live to give :D

Thanks Cleve :D

I don't know about you guys, but I'm seeing a lot more ass cleavage on women than men these days, what with all the ultra-low pants. And they're always wearing thongs. What's with that? I can't imagine it's very comfortable having a string riding your buttcrack all day.

Anyhow, to all you chicks out there, if you're wearing pants so low you have to stay shaved, maybe it's time to consider normal clothing.

Good point. I agree. It's fuckin gaudy and tacky when chicks wear their damn pants so low. Especially if they wear their underwear straps above the waistline.

Who are they kidding? Women that desperate for physical attention aren't even worth the effort.

Call me old-fasioned, I guess...

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Originally Posted by clevemire

Good point. I agree. It's fuckin gaudy and tacky when chicks wear their damn pants so low. Especially if they wear their underwear straps above the waistline.

Who are they kidding? Women that desperate for physical attention aren't even worth the effort.

Call me old-fasioned, I guess...

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Aww, that's a little harsh don't ye think :rolleyes:
Low-rise jeans are what's fashionable at the minute, I defy you to make a teenager (especially a teenage girl :) ) wear something they don't think is "IN".
So all women who wear low-rise jeans / low-cut tops / short skirts or any other clothing that doesn't manage to cover every part of their bodies are "desperate for physical attention" :confused:

And people wonder why more and more younger women are getting raped...:rolleyes:

Anything anyone does to their appearance is for some kind of attention, even if it's just purely personal attention. Could be for any number of reasons...

Now, if they do it to be part of the 'in' crowd, well then that puts even more punch behind my point. Meaning, if they didn't do it for the attention, then they wouldn't even bother to do what's 'in', now would they? Because being 'in' is pretty much all about how others perceive you. They want to give orthers the impression that they are in with the latest trends, correct?
So, ultimately they do want physical attention. Maybe not "desperately", and maybe not necessarily from men, but they want it regardless.

So I stand behind what I said, even if you did twist my words. It's my opinion. Of course it's not fact. And of course not everyone is going to agree. I'm not speaking in a factual sense. I'm not that big-headed.

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Originally Posted by clevemire

I'm not speaking in a factual sense. I'm not that big-headed.

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I wasn't in my original post, anyway. :rolleyes:


All I'm saying is that when women wear their pants not even an inch above the outer vaginal lips, I find it gaudy. A degree of low-cut is fine and dandy, but that low is rediculous.

Did I hit close to home? Do you like your front and back crack hanging out?

Wow Cleve :eek:
Fly off the handle why don't you

And people wonder why more and more younger women are getting raped...

I happen to think that people should be allowed to dress any which way they please - without being condemned or branded or raped by anyone.

All I'm saying is that when women wear their pants not even an inch above the outer vaginal lips, I find it gaudy. A degree of low-cut is fine and dandy, but that low is rediculous.

I haven't ever seen a pair of jeans that low - but hey this is Ireland :o

Did I hit close to home? Do you like your front and back crack hanging out?

In truth that comment actually hurt my feelings - but hey you live and learn

Lulu

You questioned my judgement, so I explained it to you.

I agree that people should wear whatever they want (to a point), but these little underdeveloped 11-15 year olds who dress like they are in their 20s shouldn't be surprised when sick old men try to pick them up and sometimes do.

And yes, I have seen pants that low. It's disgusting on a young person or an adult. You may think I'm prude for thinking that way, but there is a fine line between prudence and decency. That's what I'm going on about.


I admit that last line was kind of a low blow... If I really did hurt your feelings, then I am sorry, Lu. Friends? ------<----@

Hey

Women that desperate for physical attention aren't even worth the effort.

That's what you said, I just asked for clarification on that

I agree that people should wear whatever they want (to a point)

What's acceptable to one won't be acceptable to another, who decides???

but these little underdeveloped 11-15 year olds who dress like they are in their 20s shouldn't be surprised when sick old men try to pick them up and sometimes do.

Cleve if a grown man is gonna sexually assault an 11-15 year old I doubt what's she's wearing is gonna save her :( Don't anyone assume that's reason or excuse for that :mad:

I admit that last line was kind of a low blow... If I really did hurt your feelings, then I am sorry, Lu. Friends?

Yes you did hurt my feelings, I told you before, I see it ~ I say it.

Apology accepted tho' :) Memory like a fish me ;)

Lulu

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Originally Posted by Lulu

but these little underdeveloped 11-15 year olds who dress like they are in their 20s shouldn't be surprised when sick old men try to pick them up and sometimes do.

Cleve if a grown man is gonna sexually assault an 11-15 year old I doubt what's she's wearing is gonna save her :( Don't anyone assume that's reason or excuse for that :mad:

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I'm not speaking of clothing 'saving' anyone, ok?
I'm speaking of the fact that those little hoochies think they are adults. Well, if they want to dress and act like adults, they can handle adult responsibilities, including being approached by sexual predators. You don't think it would be more likely to happen if they show too much skin for their age? C'mon.
Of course no one deserves it, and we all know it could happen to anyone, but my point again is that they want to be more like adults, then they can handle adult matters. There's no one without the other. On that note, they shouldn't be surprised that those things can and will happen.

Talking to you about this is pointless. We'll just have to agree to disagree.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by clevemire

Talking to you about this is pointless. We'll just have to agree to disagree.

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Agreed :D

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Originally Posted by Lulu

Agreed :D

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Good. Now pass the joint, would you please? I could use a huff or 4. :D