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i don't get how come when ppl like someone it always has to be a secret u know? (ino that not everyone does but most ppl do)
like i usually do keep it secret except wit my friends but i dont rlly know y we do this
anyone have any psychological explanations??
I don't know why, but you confused me... bad:confused: :stoned:Quote:
Originally Posted by zero2104
haha
I could say some stereotypical line about how the socialization process in most places today teaches us to see our openness and compassion as a weakness or a vulnerability rather than as our greatest strength...Quote:
Originally Posted by zero2104
Or maybe you're just nuts.
your just shy sounds like
i don't get it either...we like a person, we know being with that person will make us happy...so we hide the fact that we like this person.. maybe tell people but only until you're sure they like you back...fear of rejection? maybe. but this quote can help you figure out what you need to do maybe [from thom yorke of Radiohead]
"If you have been rejected many times in your life, then one more rejection isn't going to make much difference. If you're rejected, don't automatically assume it's your fault. The other person may have several reasons for not doing what you're asking her to do: none of it may have anything to do with you. Perhaps the person is busy or not feeling well or genuinely not interested in spending time with you. Rejections are part of everyday life. Don't let them bother you. Keep reaching out to others. Keep reaching out to others. When you begin to recieve positive responses, then you are on the right track. It's all a matter of numbers. Count the positive responses and forget about the rejections."
maybe people don't want the person they like to act differently around them?
Some people change when they find out someone likes them....possibly start showing off and such, if you dont want them to change the way they behave around you then dont tell them anything..
hahaha i might have completly missed the point.
No man, Ill agree with that man. I think people just take time to get ballsy enough to make a move on each other.Quote:
Originally Posted by Polymirize
I think it just basically has to do with vulnerability and a resistance to wanting to leave ourselves open to rejection. If we like someone and they know it, then we're more vulnerable to rejection if they don't like us back.
It's hard for folks to put their feelings out in the open and risk not having them reciprocated. So instead they hide those feelings from the person who might be the potential rejector.
bird girl i reckon you got it SPOT ON man (woman) we don't want to leave ourselves open for rejection but sadly as you say it leads to us hiding your feelings
It's simple. We're afraid of not being accepted. If we were 100% sure that they would say yes, then it would be a different story.
Yeah what Az said and they dont want that person to find out because it will just make them embarrased i supposeQuote:
Originally Posted by Az.
I think it's really simple also, you are probably a bit shy, young and have a fear of rejection..
I'm sure everyone does but at some point you gotta realise, you may not have that chance again and it will be a moment lost forever....
It depends on the situation and people involved. When my wife and I got together, we kept it a secret because we worked together in an office with 150+ people. I'm a very private person and just didn't want my business in the rumor mill. That was the only reason, there was nothing else to hide...I got with the baddest chick in the office. Go me!
okay yodaQuote:
Originally Posted by 3rdEyeVision
She nailed it!Quote:
Originally Posted by birdgirl73
ya i think bird girl is rite... plus i think that if the person finds out u like them and they dont like u then they will not be the same arnd u so uve lost much of ur chance already... but thats not always how it is just he fear
I don't know, I don't get that. I like to be open just so I can figure shit out before it gets serious. I don't want to be secretly obsessing over some guy to figure out they hate short girls or brunettes or something.
i didnt say that :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Big Blunt Boy
Good quote. I think I'll save this somewhere on my computer. :thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by lagstronaut
I was going to say the reason of hiding our emotions fear of rejection but I don't see a point now.
Women always let you know when they are interested.
90% of the time they make the first move through body language.
We don't let the other person know out of all types of fears. Fear of rejection(that they'll say I know you do and I'm not intereseted at all), Fear of looking stupid(See previous fear), Fear of a change of relationship(Now thats is known even though both parties know anyhow). I remember this time when I was 5 years old and I was playing doctor with this girl that lived down the street. We were play buddy and we saw each other about 3-4 times a week. Well kids do get curious and excited and somehow or another she agree to take of her underwear and layed down in the floor on her stomach and I rub'd her bare butt for about 2 minutes. Then went into the bathroom and I said I'll show you my lower front if you show me yours, and she got a kind of aggitated look on her face and was like "HELL NO", and I said WHY NOT its a FAIR TRADE - your front for my front, She said NO then she left, I've been emotionaly scarred every since, and have a sort of disstain for how women try to over vaulize the vagina and under appreciate the penis.
that is soo true in some type of body language they show they are intrested in you but no matter what when there intrested you better believe you notice it:rasta:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ganjasaurusrex
a lot of people like to keep their crush secret because they are afraid of being turned down. and lack the confidence needed to openly admit it, for fear of rejection.
if i think a guy is cute, ill tell him, if i like him, ill tell him, i usually never tell my friends anything, they dont need to know about my love life
wtf are you serious thats hilariousQuote:
Originally Posted by SuperTorch
for me I always hide it due to fear of rejection