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I just wanted to hear some of the things you or your friends say when your stoned or on something. It has to be something that is ridiculous. And tell what they are on.
Well here's mine- "I don't want to be alive when I die!" - She was stoned and drunk. :stoned:
lol, i have a good one. Me and 2 girls just finished a huge blunt and then I kind of sat from a distance on a more comfortable chair. and they were chatting and I THOUGHt one of them said " STOP SAYING THE NAMES OF ALL THESE GOOD FOODS ITS MAKING ME HUNGRY! " and then I randomly get up and start saying stuff like "CHOCOLATE CAKE, COOKIES, ICE CREAM ect ect" making a huge fool of myself.
and it turns out that the girls werent even talking about food they said something completely different and they both looked at me like I was crazy for hearing things and we still laugh about it to this day =)
we drove past a construction site once and my friend said-
dude, what's going on over there?
i responded with a smart
i think they're like...building something...
ripped as hell.:rasta:
right after me and my friends blazed my one friends who was stoned out of their mind said "you guys want some okie dokie?" i laughed so hard because it was supposed to be okie doke. i was also real blazed so i think thats what made it funny :P
Lol Nice!Quote:
Originally Posted by greenhorizon
ok one me and two friends were out in the middle of no where and really really blazed and one guy said "GET DOWN i think i hear something" and then i said "NO!! dont get down cause if u do ull move to fast, reverse gravity and turn upside down and float up to the skyyyyyyyyyy" they just laughed their asses off for like 20 min after that
I don't remember who posted this, but someone was riding in a car, high and tripping on something, and there was some other girl riding in the car with him, and she was on PCP. Anyways, she was all dissociated and such, and she said, "I just want to like.. put cold spoons on my eyes."
I've written the weirdest fucking lyrics while I was high...something about dancing on the moon. With the devil. I'll dig them up when I feel motivated.
A friend of mine once blurted out this while discussing Zeppelin:
"Jimmy Page is the best song ever written"
omg i have some good ones;;
me and my uncle had smoked a joint of purple haze && i was ripped out of my mind and he was just kinda high, so we were playing this game telling eachother what animals we looked like and i told him he looked like a dog, and then he's all like;;
"you look like...a whooping crane", which is totally untrue and made no sense, thus making me literally fall on the floor w/laughter.
then there was this one time when me, and two of my friends had smoked some PCP weed and i was the most fucked up, bbut they weren't high yet, and i'm all like;;
"it's like my life is a tv show"
and they were totally not listening, they thought i was blabbering, and they were talking about the weed, and one of my friends was like;;
"it's laced"
"with PCP?"
[here's where i come in]
"yes my show is PC"
[they decide to listen to me now]
"what an intelligent question"
"huh???"
*bursts of random senseless laughter*
then one time we had been riding around smoking and were soooo high, the kinda high where you just can't quit laughing, and we were talking in-depth, and then all of a sudden my friend looks out the car window dazedly then turns back to us and goes;;
"where are we, and what in the dickens am i doing here"
in a british accent.
there are sooo many more i can't remember...
I couldn't get the name of it... I had to ask...
"You know you have a bus stop where buses pick up passengers? What is the one called for aeroplanes?"
The other person was soooo wrecked they didn't have a clue what I was on about and the response I got was an innocent "Aeroplane Stop"?
Which was not the answer but we laughed for ages over the fact I (we both) forgot that an aeroplane stop was actually called an airport.
my sister asked me a question, and my reply was "like, uh, yeah." and she goes "that was the most beavis & butthead answer
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenhorizon
omg i thought of butthead as soon as i read this, you can just hear him saying that
one time my friend was talkin about living on a boat house and i was like
"how would you cut the lawn???"
good times
Heres a real good one. My buddies and i got real stoned and it came time to drive us back into town. We all piled into my buddie's truck.
First thing he does is flooor it and drive into the ditch. then he look up, saw the smoke comiing from the hood of his car in a ditch and he asked us all this; "Who the hell was driving!?" then he realized he was in the drivers seat.
It wasn't funny at the time but its hillarious now. He doesn't remember anything after getting into the car.
I was at a wedding reception party in a cabin and we had all just passed around a nice blunt and a buddy was telling a story about how he dropped an expensive glass earlier and this girl chimes in, "did it broke?"
Good thread!
oh man i have this friend that freaks out. first of all, you've never heard a person with a dirtier mouth than my friend. he refers to everything as a "bitch". he yells "fuck" for no reason. and his famous line is, "fuckin nigga bitches man". and hes white and im black so hes lucky i dont get pissed at em. and hes obsessed with lil wayne's song "fireman"
my first 1-2 weeks smoking, I cwould get so high I cwouldn't be able to feel my toung and I would try to talk and freak out thinking I bit it off, so I would ask my friends "shit, did I bite off my tongue?!?!" and they would always go "No, dude... it's still there"
It sucked because when I started smkoking, my friends had been smoking like 2 years, so they forgot what it was like to be so high and have no control over yourself, so I alwaysmademyself look like an ass
One time me and my friend went to McDonald's and the chick taking our order was the way hotter older sister of a hot chick that's on my friend's sister's soccer team. So we order, we make asses out of ourselves somehow by forgetting we had to pay and then laughing at some prick who was dropping every fucking thing he was holding, cell phone, news paper, sun glasses fell off his FACE. Anyway, we looked like idiots to her and so we got our food and sat down. We sat down like pretty much right next to the cash register where she is, and one of her co-workers yells "Kaitlyn, I need your key!" for the cash or something, and my buddy just yells out "KAITLYN I NEED YOUR CUNT." and I guess he didn't realise she was standing like pretty much next to us and everybody in the fucking place was staring at us. It was retarded and one of my many good times in Burger King
So wait was it McDonald's or Burger King??? ROFLMFAOQuote:
Originally Posted by lagstronaut
AHHA I WAS BAOUT TO ASK THE SAME IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD!!!!
lmao maybe he's so high he forgot so he put both
LOL I was so confused I thought it was me that fucked up at first had to reread it. Yeah it does make a big differnce. Like a huge one!!!
my bad, it was macDonalds
I work at a restaurant and i went in one time super blazed and the first thing i hear was a cook tell a waiter that theres only one more seabass left so im like "shit it sucks to be a seabass", and apparently ive said this really loud and everyone around me was laughing and messin with me cause i was so blazed. its cool tho i usually sell weed to people there so they are cool with me being high.
whats the diffrence? please explain it to me...:(Quote:
Originally Posted by Kilo0192
i mean...its just bigger burgers...
I remember once i was blazed during school and we where talking about hercules and why he was so great. When my teacher asked me what was so great about him i told her that he was cool because he killed a god with a fish once. I guess she didn't see the cartoon because i got kicked out of class right after that.
I know I have tons, but can't recall any of them for some reason :confused:
anyway, i don't know if this counts, but there is this one kid i'm friends with that if you try to wake him up he just seems awake but is really just talking in his sleep.
So me, him, and a bunch of other kids were smoking a lot, and he just passed out 10 minutes after smoking, while we were all up. So we just kind of pushed him and were like,
'wake up, you passed out after about 10mins' and hes like...
'get off me'
me: just wake up
him: but the garden is so pretty
me: what are you talking about
him: the garden is really pretty
some other kid: your a fag dude
him: are you nuetral or natural
everyones laughing at this point
him: fuck you guys, im gonna go skilping- dylmur (me) you wanna come
me: i dont know dude.... im neutral, and your natural, its not gonna work
him: fuck you then
then he went to his room and went to bed... it was funny, we all laugha bout that now, though he claims it never happened because he doesnt remember
^^ Lol I wonder why you can't remember..
Wow i've made tooo many to think about but one time i was so fucked up that i was like "dude your cats trying to kill me *softer*dude your cat is trying to kill me *louder* dude your cats trying to kill me *louder*dude,dude,dude WTF your cat is givin me eyes and trying to kill me *screaming* HOLY SHIT WTF did you see that he just tried to slit my throat FUCK MAN he's on me get him off get him off!!!
Now if you think thats a good comment it gets better. This guy NEVER had a cat or any pet at all!!! And i have this on video i'm just TWEAKING out like a mother fucker like jumping and swinging my arms fighting off a cat that was never there. To explain this i later found out the weed was laced with high grade Heroin and lots of it!!
Hey fool...HEY...{whats up} wheres the weed fool...{u had it} O SHIT ...
very often and this one came out wiuth a big burnt crop circle in the floor
^^^ Dude they have onion rings at burger king... seriously flame broiled burgers... then theres price
You say you have the video? Show us. I'm interested in seeing it.Quote:
Originally Posted by dank ass nugs
me and my mate adam were at another mates house in farringdon, just chillin on his balcony and lisnin to sum beatles, by now weve smoked at least an 1/8th each so were pretty fuked, then i turn to adam and say "i'm as stoned as a pulsing maggot" and we just crack up, later we treked back to adams ginourmous house and sat on his buff roof with a duvet at midnight lisnin to sum radiohead and taking hits from a nice bong, we had afghan cheese, some french hash and some regular skunk red hair, we tokk bout 20 hits each then chilled in his loft watchin family guy, then the pizza guy came an i had to answer the door, apparently i stood there for 5 mins without handing him the money and just staring at him.
sorry bout the long story but that was a fucked up comment
so i was sitting in a wheelbarrow in a field in the middle of the cotswolds. (like mid-south west england). anyway, my neighbors and i had smoked a SHIT load of weed. we were just being complete stoners and tripping off the scenery. i kind of look at one of my neighbors for a minute and said "whooaaa.. look how eyes your red are"
i was being completely serious too. and he was like "what?"
so i repeated myself... and i said it about 4 times. then i kind of looked at myself and was like "wow... did i seriously just say that." then i laughed for about another half an hour for no particular reason.
oh the joys of being high
haha
xxx - lexie
oh... and another one was. i was at a thai restaurant with some of my girl friends and after stuffing my face i kind of said "i'm so going to marry the guy who invented food."
and if that wasn't stupid enough, my blonde friend pipes up, "wait, isn't he dead now?"
not that funny. but wow, retarded enough for a room full of stoners to giggle about.
xxx - lexie
I would but i dont trust the internet plus it reveals my address,phone number, my face and the face and names of all the people who were theyre. So sorry I know people busted for internet posted shit so it scares me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. TBAGU 420
one time me and my friend had smoked a blunt with our dealer in his car, then he dropped us off at the park. so we were walking from the park to our friend's house across the street and on the roof of the apartment my friend was like, "look jay, a mexican is paited to the wall", && i'm all like wtff? and she's like, "he was painting wall, but he didn't do a good job and put too much paint on it, and now he is stuck to the wall[of the apartments]", and there was like nothing there, but i thought i could see him, and she kept on saying like, "he's gone now", and then, "jay, look, he's BACK!!!", like over && over again.
One time we were outside and we had a bag of pretzels. I had pricked my finger on a thorn eariler and I was now reaching into the bag. I put some pretzels in my mouth and I guess a broken pretzel poked me in my lip.
"The pretzel is a thorn and the thorn is a pretzel. So why not eat the thorns?" is what I said.
They then proceeded to jump on me and totally ruin my high which was NOT cool.
this is the only one i can remember right now lol.
Me and a friend were sittin on ma bed watchin danoz direct (dont ask) and he started staring at me....and he looked really scared, then he made these weird whimpering noises... and i looked at him and i said "Man....what the fuck are you doing" and he replied with "Dude....you look like a fucking clown, YOUR FUCKING SCARY" and the whole night consisted of him saying i looked like a scary clown.