5 Golden Rules for Success with Women

1. Ask for it and you won't get it.
Sex is a physical need for men and an emotional need for women. If a woman knows that you find her desirable and want to have sex with her, that in itself fulfils her emotional need. Therefore, if you want to have a chance of actually having sex with her, you need to make her think that you don't find her sexually attractive. The less sexually interested in her that you appear to be, the more sexually interested in you she becomes. Incidentally, this is why men can never get rid of women that they actually don't want to have sex with: ignore them totally and they become obsessed stalkers.

2. Never give an honest answer.
This one sounds obvious but it amazes me how many men actually think they can impress women by being honestâ?¦wrong! You impress women by telling outrageous lies. Women only value honesty when it's ruthlessly applied to dissecting the faults of people that they don't like, such as their ex-partners or prettier women. A man who is honest will not lie to her about her own imperfections. No sane woman would risk having a relationship with such a man. Honest men make good friends, but bad relationships. Therefore, always lie. It's the quality that women most admire in men.

3. Don't look for a reason.
This is the most important Golden Rule, NEVER attribute logical thought processes to women. Men think, women feel - it's really that simple! Trying to find a reason why a woman says or does something is as pointless as trying to find a straight line in a circle. Evolution is an economical process, and had no need to install the capacity for rational thought in women. Any action which required problem solving was the role of the man in Mother Nature's plan. Tragically, the logical mind cannot accept a contradiction, and women are full of contradictions. Therefore, any concerted attempt by a man to understand a woman is bound to end in one (or all) of the following;

A. Serious mental illness
B. Divorce
C. Celibacy
D. Suicide

Sadly, women spend their entire lives looking for reasons, this is as pitiable as a blind man seeking to understand the concept of color, and as pitiable as a man trying to understand a woman. Nature's cruel joke!

4. Let her talk.
Women love to talk. Your role is simply to introduce subjects for her to talk about. A master of this will introduce subjects according to her mood, thereby allowing her to express her current feelings. Never introduce any subject that requires thinking. This will simply confuse the woman and lead to silence and sulking after a brief and ill-fated attempt by her to add some coherent input on the tedious subject. A women who can talk to a man for hours will consider him a great conversationalist despite the fact that she has done 99% of the talking. Women talk about their problems because they are unable to solve them, this is Nature's way of accidentally finding solutions. Men identify a problem and then seek a solution. Women identify a problem and then seek someone to talk to about it. Normally, women talk to other women about their problems, and reserve the 'positive' feelings for men. It is important to understand however, that the woman is not seeking solutions from talking to a man about her problems. She is seeking reassurance that she is still sexy despite being a complete basket case mentally. Therefore, a man should only say things like "I agree" when she offers an opinion, "What do you think?" when she asks a question, and "I disagree" if she makes any self-derogatory statement. Women never accept any criticism of themselves as valid, and any introduction of a self-criticism is designed merely to test your reply. Should you foolishly agree and outrageously offer any hint of self-improvement on her part, you will be instantly dismissed in her mind as "argumentative, rude, arrogant, and a complete control freak".

5. Be a man.
Back to basics here: it's all in the genes. Men look silly in dresses, women don't. What women find attractive in men is imprinted by evolution and the traditional role of the man as hunter/gatherer/protector, woman as nurturer/off-spring raiser. Like everywhere else in the animal kingdom, the dominant male has his pick of the females. A man must be dynamic and in control at all times, any sign of weakness and the woman's instinct is to ditch the man and find a more suitable mate. What women want is a bad boy who will treat them well, but not so well that they don't have anything to bitch about to their female friends. Bitching about the male of the species is how females bond with each other - another one of evolution's little jokes!

:cool: :pimp: :thumbsup:

hehe thats actually pretty good


i rlly agree with the one abt trying understand women :thumbsup:

plus i laughed a few times

theres no way you can understand them there all mental

you are soo right pure evil...im going out with this girl now....and all those rules apply

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Originally Posted by hubblebubble

theres no way you can understand them there all mental

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I assure you.. they are not ALL mental.
look harder

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Originally Posted by hubblebubble

theres no way you can understand them there all mental

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I agree with MJS, they are not all mental .... you just gotta work harder to understand them. Their different than us .... in SO many ways.

I know i'm insane but that has never bothered my man... woman look for reasons??? i think men do that... my attitude is, this is how it is and what to do about it... i refuse to be drawn in to an arguement of blame and shame... so many times i have admitted to things i didn't do to avoid a drama about who's fault is this...

I can ususally handle thinking when I talk without getting confused and pouty....men on the other hand seem too often to talk without thinking...

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Originally Posted by PureEvil760

2. Never give an honest answer.
This one sounds obvious but it amazes me how many men actually think they can impress women by being honestâ?¦wrong! You impress women by telling outrageous lies. Women only value honesty when it's ruthlessly applied to dissecting the faults of people that they don't like, such as their ex-partners or prettier women. A man who is honest will not lie to her about her own imperfections. No sane woman would risk having a relationship with such a man. Honest men make good friends, but bad relationships. Therefore, always lie. It's the quality that women most admire in men.

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I don't know about that. When I ask my boyfriend a question about the way something looks or whatever, I truly expect him to tell me the truth. If I look like shit I want to know. I'd rather have him tell me than go out and look in a mirror an hour later and get mad because he didn't say anything. He knows this too, and he knows that I know when he's lying so he might as well tell me the truth. I never understood why a lot of women do want their men to lie. I guess it's an easy way of getting a compliment..."Do I look fat in this dress?" "No, you look perfect." ---> Sweet, but probably bullshit, tell me the truth.

You've posted a long list of sweeping, sexist generalizations up there, Pure Evil. But you can go ahead thinking like that because, luckily, there are intelligent, thinking men who don't have those same attitudes.

But the way, women do think. I'll match the thinking, logical part of my brain up to any man's. Any day. I'll win, too. I'm very thankful, in fact, for my discriminating intellect. It allows me to read posts like yours and dismiss them as the musings of someone who either thinks very little or knows very few women indeed.

I agree with the general ideas in the list. I don't totally agree with the qualifying statements that went along with them.

Here's an important rule I think was missed:
-Be a dick...I have been both a real nice guy to my girlfriend and a total dick to my girlfriend (the same one) the 2 times we had a relationship. The first time, I was a total dick and she was in love with me for several years. After we broke up, we got back together a few years later and I was a totally nice guy...went shopping with her, saw chick flicks together, didn't pressure her for sex, did hand-holding and all that other lovey-dovey shit. Well, she ended up cheating on me in a very short period of time. Then, I styarted dating another girl and tried being a nice guy again. well, she also cheated on me repeatedly with different guys. In retrospect, when I was a dick to women, I got laid all the time and would have 3 or 4 girlfriends at the same time, who knew the situation. Weird. Also, I have a friend who is a totally nice guy to women and his love life is a string of crushing infidelities and failed relationships, the most recent one being his wife is a serial adultress who proclaims she doesn't love him.

In the end, guys should treat women like shit. If you do, they'll love you. If you don't, they won't respect you and will look for someone else who will give them what they want- treating them badly.

The reason for this is that women want to "change" men. If you are a dick, they will stay with you to try and change you. If you show up all "fixed", then they do not feel of any use in the relationship. The same applies if you allow them to "change" you. Once you do, there will be no more challenge for them and no tension in the relationship. Therefore, they will "fix" you and move on to the next "broken" man, who they will try to "fix".

In the end, I believe this: Women are nuts and men are stupid.

the George Custanza in giving woman advice

on that note, i actually just read the whole thing and I found it pretty damn good! I take back da previous post

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Originally Posted by hubblebubble

theres no way you can understand them there all mental

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LOOK AT THE POT CALLIN THE KETTLE BLACK...
MWAAAHAHAHAHA

all u needa do is tell the truth, if the girl is right for you then she'll love you for your true self. If you lie to her, she'll fall in love with a fake you, and you'll have to work hard at keeping up the lies. BTW pure evil your a jack ass. And I love you.

I agree with SOME of the things you said. I don't agree with your "girls all love bad ass boys" or w.e it was you said, because i find alot of girls like a person whos sensitive and can comminicate with them on the same level. Women just want to be treated fairly, and thats what they deaserve

But one person posted something about women want men to tell the truth? like if they ask if they look fat they want them to tell em the truth. But i think thats complete bullshit. I mean, you get women that always say to me "im ugly" blah blah blah, if i say they look stunnin or w.e the first thing they always say is "nar im ugly". Thats because they DO want reasurence, i think pureevil is right on that part. Women like compliments and if they have they're own doubts about they're looks they purposly say to a man "im ugly" because they WANT you to disagree with them and say they look good so that they feel good about themselves.

Also i don't find its always the women that talk. I find its both of us talking. Because women would like it if you have the manners to talk to them back, other wise they'd just feel like you don't really give a shit.

Meh, i don't try to play games when i talk to a lady, i just treat them fairly and make them feel special. But i don't over think these things like you've done with this thread. To me they are no "rules". But then again, what would i know? im single haha. Altho i think im single cuz of my looks not cuz im crap with talkin with women or anything.... But i proberly am as well.

Kinda upsettin and depressin but at least i have my mary jane :) Oh wait no, i smoked all my weed.....

i started to write something but it was stupid:o

I like to read stupid things :)

anyone ever seen the equation that proves all women are pure evil? :)

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Originally Posted by birdgirl73

You've posted a long list of sweeping, sexist generalizations up there, Pure Evil. But you can go ahead thinking like that because, luckily, there are intelligent, thinking men who don't have those same attitudes.

But the way, women do think. I'll match the thinking, logical part of my brain up to any man's. Any day. I'll win, too. I'm very thankful, in fact, for my discriminating intellect. It allows me to read posts like yours and dismiss them as the musings of someone who either thinks very little or knows very few women indeed.

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*Bing

I mean dude, you really get girls with this? They must feel very poorly of them selves.

How to impress a woman:
cuddle her and tell her she's beautiful. Show her that you care. Lavish her with expensive gifts. Take exotic holidays and romantic getaways. Never stop telling her how perfect she is.

How to impress a man:
show up naked. bring beer.

How to impress women: shut the fuck up and stop trying to think so hard about how to impress a woman and just be urself. Do you want the woman to fall in love with the real you or some fake?

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Originally Posted by birdgirl73

You've posted a long list of sweeping, sexist generalizations up there, Pure Evil. But you can go ahead thinking like that because, luckily, there are intelligent, thinking men who don't have those same attitudes.

But the way, women do think. I'll match the thinking, logical part of my brain up to any man's. Any day. I'll win, too. I'm very thankful, in fact, for my discriminating intellect. It allows me to read posts like yours and dismiss them as the musings of someone who either thinks very little or knows very few women indeed.

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Amen.