Domestic Violence

I saw a man beat his girlfriend VERY badly the other night, and I can't get it out of my mind. Her eye swelled up to the size of a tennis ball, and she had to get several stitches.

I wanted to beat the guy to a pulp, but I did nothing! I guess because she keeps going back to him. (He's beat her on numerous occasions) Why do woman do stay with extemely violent men? I don't understand it! To tell you the truth, I'm on the verge of taking a baseball bat to this guys head. :mad:

She's not a close friend, but a friend just the same, and doesn't deserve to be beat down like she was...

Fucked up sh!t, man!

Some women feel this need to nurture everything that they come into contact with. What they're really attracted to is people who are in dire need of their attention. Hence, women go after bad boys.

I think it's psychological, too. I mean, it has to be similar to Stockholm syndrome.

Why always when I just finish smoking Junkyard?

ski mask nuff said.

They can be really nice people and the good times cover the bad,you could of beaten him but I dont think it would of helped or changed anything because victims dont usually leave until there are not enough good times to cover the bad.I feel sorry for children who have to see this and if I had children one bad time would be enough for me to go.I really hope your friend sees sense before it's too late.

There's too many people out there that give women a bad name. Why the hell women think they love these bastards is far beyond my knowledge. They're getting nowhere in life. They need to wise up and realize this.

I would love to catch that punk hitting his women, wouldent be too good for him. If they have kids thats even worse i grew up with my dad beating my mom and no kid should have to go through that.

No they stay with them because they dont have it in them to leave, they dont have any self confidence....

Theres only one thing you can do to stop a wifebeater... Kill him

Unless your going to do that then there is nothing that you can do if you threaten him, beat him up, put him in hospital, break his bones he will just take it out on her even worse.

If you piss a wifebeater of he will just go home and take it all out on her which just makes it worse.

Women are afraid to tell anyone in fear of gettin hit more, and they are afrid to do anything, the last thing they will do is leave because they are too scared.

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Originally Posted by cannabis campbell

No they stay with them because they dont have it in them to leave, they dont have any self confidence....

Theres only one thing you can do to stop a wifebeater... Kill him

Unless your going to do that then there is nothing that you can do if you threaten him, beat him up, put him in hospital, break his bones he will just take it out on her even worse.

If you piss a wifebeater of he will just go home and take it all out on her which just makes it worse.

Women are afraid to tell anyone in fear of gettin hit more, and they are afrid to do anything, the last thing they will do is leave because they are too scared.

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I think this is right. I guess you need to talk to your friend, and leave the bloke alone. See if you can help support her, and raise her self-confidence, because she needs to leave him, and it's gonna take a lot for her to do it by herself.

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Originally Posted by JunkYard

I saw a man beat his girlfriend VERY badly the other night, and I can't get it out of my mind. Her eye swelled up to the size of a tennis ball, and she had to get several stitches.

I wanted to beat the guy to a pulp, but I did nothing! I guess because she keeps going back to him. (He's beat her on numerous occasions) Why do woman do stay with extemely violent men? I don't understand it! To tell you the truth, I'm on the verge of taking a baseball bat to this guys head. :mad:

She's not a close friend, but a friend just the same, and doesn't deserve to be beat down like she was...

F*cked up sh!t, man!

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Howdy JunkYard,

It's called Battered women's syndrome..also,even if you came to her defense,it's highly likely that she will then come to her boyfriend's defense,which is why domestic violence situations are one of the most dangerous situations that a cop can respond to.

You should report what you saw to the cops,because they are qualified to handle the situation and you are not.

How will you feel,if you hear that he finally beat her to death, and you did nothing ? Evil thrives when good men look away..stop looking the other way !

Have a good one !

Damn that must of been hard to watch, i dunno what would of done. Cops need to meet this guy 1st hand!

Peace

I through my step-dad down 3 flights of stairs once for hitting my mother...Big Calhoun DOES NOT like wife beaters.

There was a special on Dateline a few months back where they did an experiment in the park with a couple who was fighting. The actor playing the partner was screaming at her, she was cowering, he had her by the arm, etc. She was crying, begging him to stop, the whole nine. Out of allll the people who walked by, (mind you, they were in a busy park) only 3 people stopped and asked if the woman was ok. One guy actually went as far as to threaten the male. But the thing is, it's a highly awkward situation for anyone exposed to it, making it very difficult to act. Torog is right about his battered women's syndrome- even if you had done something, odds are she would have defended him... unfortunately a lot of emotionally unstable women feel it is their "duty" to "fix" these defective men in their life, most of the time that being due to exposure to a tumultuous male relationship (father, most of the time) growing up. It's really sad... and a lot of the time the woman doesn't realized it until it's too late. :(

^^^ Not sure if that even makes sense... reading back now. I sound high. :stoned:

Lmao :D:D:D

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Originally Posted by MaryJaneintheCloset

There was a special on Dateline a few months back where they did an experiment in the park with a couple who was fighting. The actor playing the partner was screaming at her, she was cowering, he had her by the arm, etc. She was crying, begging him to stop, the whole nine. Out of allll the people who walked by, (mind you, they were in a busy park) only 3 people stopped and asked if the woman was ok. One guy actually went as far as to threaten the male. But the thing is, it's a highly awkward situation for anyone exposed to it, making it very difficult to act. Torog is right about his battered women's syndrome- even if you had done something, odds are she would have defended him... unfortunately a lot of emotionally unstable women feel it is their "duty" to "fix" these defective men in their life, most of the time that being due to exposure to a tumultuous male relationship (father, most of the time) growing up. It's really sad... and a lot of the time the woman doesn't realized it until it's too late. :(

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It's a tough position to be in. When I worked at an amusement park, we'd run into fighting couples occasionally. Being a supervisor, it was a little easier to impart some authority on the situation in order to defuse it. A couple of times I had to call Security to escort one or both parties out of the park. As a private individual, you don't want to interfere. But cmon, there is no excuse for someone to be beating on a woman. I'm not saying I'll go over and get in the middle of everything, but I do make my presence known and will watch the situation until I feel it's settled (or call the police if it need be). Domestic violence is a touchy thing with me...I can't even watch it on TV shows, I have to change the channel.

Torog and Mary Jane in the Closet have nailed it. Women who let themselves be beaten get into a cycle of being battered, and they have a hard time getting themselves out of it. They do tend to go back to their batterers, unfortunately, and they're the only ones who can change their situation.

I volunteered for a long time with our local shelter and the agency that helps abused women/families after we had a neighbor who was in that situation, and it's a really vicious cycle. Most folks need significant professional help in order to help them make changes. They often have a history of abuse with their own families. It's just heart-breaking and very frustrating for others to watch.

If you can, try not to beat this guy up despite the fact that he deserves it. If you did, guess who he'd take his frustrations out on? You might try talking to her, but don't count on making much headway until she makes the decision herself to get out of that situation. Better yet, get her the contact info and location of the nearest shelter or safe house. Help her set aside a little get-away fund. Call the police when the abuse happens. See if you can get a victim's advocate, if your local police department has one, to talk to her. And be aware that, if and when she does decide to make a break from that relationship, that break-away time is the time when she's in the most danger of all, sadly, so she'll need to escape quickly into a safe place.

Good luck!

Not all women defend the guy:

About 10 years ago I was living in an apartment. My friend and I were just about to go out to get some beer when someone started banging on the door screaming "call the police, he's going to kill me" . I opened up the door and no one was there but I saw the door across the hall close just then and could hear yelling inside. I called 911 and after they asked me like 100 questions, even though I explained I didn't know her, we figured "ok let's go get our beer now". As we open the door she comes out of the apartment. She was beat up pretty badly and had a huge black eye. She comes and tells me "you can tell the police not to come, he's gone now" I explained that when you call the cops, they come, you can't just tell them "it's ok nevermind"

Anyhow, we go and get our beer. About 1/2 later we pull into the parking lot of the apartment and there are cops everywhere, like 5-6 cars, an ambulance, and a paramedic truck. At first they wouldn't even let me in the building until I could prove that I lived there. I asked what happened and was told "nothing much, just a little domestic disturbance" I'm not stupid and know a little domestic disturbance doesn't get that kind of reaction. We go in and start drinking our beer and another cop knocks on the door, asking all kinds of questions "did they fight a lot? did they use drugs? etc etc". Once again I explained that other than saying "hi" in the hallway every now and then I knew nothing about them. I asked this cop what happened and he said "well, the shit kinda hit the fan" but nothing more.

A while later another cop comes to my door and asks me to take him to the apartment manager's office. On the way back I run into a reporter who had showed up and he starts asking me a bunch of questions. Again I explain that I didn't know anything and I ask him if he knew what happened. Turns out he was listening on a scanner, which was why he knew to come, and knew exactly what happened.

Apparently the guy came back and started beating on her again, she ran into the kitchen, grabbed a steak knife, and stabbed him 12 times in the chest. He was dead when the cops arrived.

About a week later I saw her walking down the hall. It was ruled self defense and she was let go. Score one for the women :thumbsup:

I think the guy was locked up after her hospital visit, but he'll be out in no time, and guess what? He'll beat her again! I would love to get her to leave this bastard, but I don't have that kind of influence. I've only known her for a short time, and we really don't talk much.

If I stomp his ass, he'll in turn beat her, and we get absolutely nowhere./shrug The cops won't hold him, so it's only a matter of time before he does this sh!t again. I think one of the reeasons she doesn't leave him, or put out an EPO is she has nowhere to go. I feel sorry for her, but it seems I can do NOTHING to help. We've all mentioned these safe houses to her before, but she shrugges it off like we're crazy...

I'm afraid he'll kill her one day, and the truth is that nothing can be done aside from ending the bastard to stop it!

Just a little frustrated...

Domestic Violence is tricky little fuck!

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Originally Posted by JunkYard

I think the guy was locked up after her hospital visit, but he'll be out in no time, and guess what? He'll beat her again! I would love to get her to leave this bastard, but I don't have that kind of influence. I've only known her for a short time, and we really don't talk much.

If I stomp his ass, he'll in turn beat her, and we get absolutely nowhere./shrug The cops won't hold him, so it's only a matter of time before he does this sh!t again. I think one of the reeasons she doesn't leave him, or put out an EPO is she has nowhere to go. I feel sorry for her, but it seems I can do NOTHING to help. We've all mentioned these safe houses to her before, but she shrugges it off like we're crazy...

I'm afraid he'll kill her one day, and the truth is that nothing can be done aside from ending the bastard to stop it!

Just a little frustrated...

Domestic Violence is tricky little fuck!

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Do you have a female friend that could try to befriend this person? In the complex I moved from in NJ, there was this couple. The lady was really nice, I think she did secretarial work. She was always pleasent and tending to her garden. The guy she was with was an ass. Very rude and abusive, never anything good to say. Well, the nieghbor above them always used to call the cops b/c of the fighting and could hear her getting beat at times. The couple that lived next to me got real concerned b/c it was the talk of the complex. Well, my nieghbors girlfriend ended up befriending the woman. At first, the woman wasn't allowed to go anywhere. But when the boyfriend saw it was just going to be a 'womans night out' type of deal, he relented. Well, in the abscense of the boyfriend, the woman would spill the beans. I mean some nasty, horrible stuff. After a month or so, my nieghbor and his wife helped the woman to move out while the guy was at work. You want to talk about some fireworks!?!? The guy was cuffed with 3 officers trying to get him into the car and he was still fighting and yelling, "Who did it, I know one of you took her, who did it...". Asshole.

So if you have a female that your good friends with, that may be a good way to establish contact and start to get this woman some help. Sometimes people just need a leg up or just to know that someone cares.

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Originally Posted by Big Calhoun

Do you have a female friend that could try to befriend this person? In the complex I moved from in NJ, there was this couple. The lady was really nice, I think she did secretarial work. She was always pleasent and tending to her garden. The guy she was with was an ass. Very rude and abusive, never anything good to say. Well, the nieghbor above them always used to call the cops b/c of the fighting and could hear her getting beat at times. The couple that lived next to me got real concerned b/c it was the talk of the complex. Well, my nieghbors girlfriend ended up befriending the woman. At first, the woman wasn't allowed to go anywhere. But when the boyfriend saw it was just going to be a 'womans night out' type of deal, he relented. Well, in the abscense of the boyfriend, the woman would spill the beans. I mean some nasty, horrible stuff. After a month or so, my nieghbor and his wife helped the woman to move out while the guy was at work. You want to talk about some fireworks!?!? The guy was cuffed with 3 officers trying to get him into the car and he was still fighting and yelling, "Who did it, I know one of you took her, who did it...". Asshole.

So if you have a female that your good friends with, that may be a good way to establish contact and start to get this woman some help. Sometimes people just need a leg up or just to know that someone cares.

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I have a few female friends, and I know that one of them has already stepped up to the plate and offered. She's a big girl with big friends, and she gets up in that guys face like he only weighed 90lbs, lol! The thing is she is just as helpless as the rest of us, because the girl getting whipped doesn't seem 'want' the help. (I don't get it?) She talks like she has nowhere to go, but in the end she's been offered places to stay, and told about the safe houses.

I'll tell you exactly whats going to happen. 1) the guys going to kill her, or 2) Someone is going to kill him. The cops are doing nothing, because there's really not much they can do. I think we'll just have to let it all play itself out./shrug

It's really frustrating because she's not doing what needs to be done to protect herself. #1 thing is to get away from this guy, but she refuses all help offered.

It would be easier for me to do something if I thought she would appreciate it, but as is, she brings it on herself by means of not even wanting to leave the prick!

Unbelievable!

How can you help someone who doesn't want it?

I had never heard of battered women syndrome I am going to check it out.

I have been in violent relationships but never had anything broken they just pulled my hair,hit my head or grabbed my arms but the worst part was the verbal abuse and I think that does more long term damage then physical abuse.Some women like myself go on to feel like they deserved to be punished and after the relationship continue to beat themselves up both mentally and harm themselves physically when they feel they have done something wrong to someone.

You guys must think I am crazy after some of the posts I write but everything I write is the truth and after all the shit yes I am a little crazy but if I can save one persons sanity through telling my own fuck ups then I will post.

why do they? they got fucked with while they were kids, that's why