When should you stop having Sex?

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,

Susie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her

95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how

her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a

heart attack while we were making love on Sunday Morning."



Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100

Years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.



"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago,

realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it

was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just

the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even...



Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on

the Dong."



She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd

still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come

When your dick fall's off. Or bleeds.

When the girl is almost dead from loss of blood, there are scratch marks around a 3 mile radeos, the cops are investigating a murder case.

therefore women should never stop having sex. once all the men's dicks fall off they have to resort to lesbianism.

when your too stoned to cum, Its happened to us all, after a while it just gets boring.
Its like, "yeah i could be smoking a bowl right now....*pumps away at the scream-machine*"

too stoned to cum? is that cause you are too stoned or dehydrated? semen is a fluid, the water has to come from somewhere.

Shit! what a way to go :O

Ermm i'll be old and wrinckley before i stop having sex!

That is the way I want to go.

RIP grandpa.....you da grandman









He told you the answer to your question......when your dead

oh god old ladies are so fucking hot
all wrinkley and dusty.......mmmm

^^^

when you have a condition...like aids...or crabs...or third trimester pregnancy....

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Originally Posted by poorprincess

when you have a condition...like aids...or crabs...or third trimester pregnancy....

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very true Princess!!

I guess that'd be about the time when I ask a friend to kill me... painlessly, I'd hope...

Well, i dont think i'll have sex when im older, or i'll pay for a younger girl lol... Who'd wanna fuck an old person anyway?

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Originally Posted by LIP

Well, i dont think i'll have sex when im older, or i'll pay for a younger girl lol... Who'd wanna fuck an old person anyway?

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I must say you are 1 weird guy, I 'de bet my last dollar your not married!!

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Originally Posted by LIP

Well, i dont think i'll have sex when im older, or i'll pay for a younger girl lol... Who'd wanna fuck an old person anyway?

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I think this sums it up better than I could.........:D


Older women, make beautiful lovers
Older women, they understand
I've been around some, and I have discovered
That older women know just how to please a man.

Everybody seems to love those younger women
From eighteen on up to twenty-five
Well I love 'em too, but I'm tellin' you
Learnin' how to really love, takes a little time.

So baby don't you worry about growin' older
Those young girls ain't got nothin' in you
'Cause it takes some livin', to get good at givin'
And givin' love is just where you could teach them a thing or two.:thumbsup:

Psycho...you are so cool! Some Lady taught you well lol....tell her thanks.:thumbsup: Older women are great!:p

First Time

Clem drove his pickup alongside the road and showed his buddy Jed where he'd first had sex. "It was right down there by that there tree. I remember it plain as day. It was a warm summer day... We were madly in love... We made our way down to that the tree and made love for hours," explained Clem.

"That sounds amazing," exclaimed Jed.

"Yep, it was goin' real well until I looked up and saw her momma standing right there watching us..."

"Damn, what did her momma say when she saw you puttin' it to her daughter?" "Baaaaa..."

you should stop having sex when your wifes dead body is so badly decomposed that the only thing holding her together is the maggots
and the neighbours are nockin on the door to find out where the stench is coming from,that same stench that had their children up all nite pukein up their lungs and crappin all over their asses and bodies and now they cant go to school coz their now big hard hairy crustly lumps of shite.

lets face it when it comes to that the only respectfull thing you can do is hump the ball of maggots one last time and then dispose of the scattered remains and kill yourself

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Originally Posted by weezy

you should stop having sex when your wifes dead body is so badly decomposed that the only thing holding her together is the maggots
and the neighbours are nockin on the door to find out where the stench is coming from,that same stench that had their children up all nite pukein up their lungs and crappin all over their asses and bodies and now they cant go to school coz their now big hard hairy crustly lumps of shite.

lets face it when it comes to that the only respectfull thing you can do is hump the ball of maggots one last time and then dispose of the scattered remains and kill yourself

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aaahHahahahaha

Quote:

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Originally Posted by weezy

you should stop having sex when your wifes dead body is so badly decomposed that the only thing holding her together is the maggots
and the neighbours are nockin on the door to find out where the stench is coming from,that same stench that had their children up all nite pukein up their lungs and crappin all over their asses and bodies and now they cant go to school coz their now big hard hairy crustly lumps of shite.

lets face it when it comes to that the only respectfull thing you can do is hump the ball of maggots one last time and then dispose of the scattered remains and kill yourself

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...wow I think I just threw up a little...yep I did...

but everyone knows that you should never stop having sex...unless you have bad genetics and your ugly...then dont take the chance of passing that along...we have enough ugly people in the world

ewww, i'm so not happy i looked at this thread!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by weezy

you should stop having sex when your wifes dead body is so badly decomposed that the only thing holding her together is the maggots
and the neighbours are nockin on the door to find out where the stench is coming from,that same stench that had their children up all nite pukein up their lungs and crappin all over their asses and bodies and now they cant go to school coz their now big hard hairy crustly lumps of shite.

lets face it when it comes to that the only respectfull thing you can do is hump the ball of maggots one last time and then dispose of the scattered remains and kill yourself

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We try to leave this area and politics alone but remember people, you have an "ignore" option and are encouraged to use it.:cool:

Have a good one!:thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by WhiskeyGirl

First Time

Clem drove his pickup alongside the road and showed his buddy Jed where he'd first had sex. "It was right down there by that there tree. I remember it plain as day. It was a warm summer day... We were madly in love... We made our way down to that the tree and made love for hours," explained Clem.

"That sounds amazing," exclaimed Jed.

"Yep, it was goin' real well until I looked up and saw her momma standing right there watching us..."

"Damn, what did her momma say when she saw you puttin' it to her daughter?" "Baaaaa..."

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jeez, Uncle clem never learns....here in Wyoming unwanted sheep pregnancies have hit an all time high, the free vet clinic is always full of these ladies asking for the morning after pill, at least we are finally giving them options now.....

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Originally Posted by Psycho4Bud

We try to leave this area and politics alone but remember people, you have an "ignore" option and are encouraged to use it.:cool:

Have a good one!:thumbsup:

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I didnt see an IGNORE option?where is it?
ty

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Originally Posted by WhiskeyGirl

I didnt see an IGNORE option?where is it?
ty

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On the top of the page go to "User CP".........On the left side is your "Control Panel" settings....go down the list under "Miscellaneous" and you'll find "Buddy/Ignore Lists"....just add in the name and it's like they are wiped off your board.

Easier yet, just bring up the persons profile and on the line under their name is "Add to Buddy List" and "Add to Ignore List"...just give it a click.

Have a good one!:thumbsup:

You should only stop having sex if your spouse catches you;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Psycho4Bud

On the top of the page go to "User CP".........On the left side is your "Control Panel" settings....go down the list under "Miscellaneous" and you'll find "Buddy/Ignore Lists"....just add in the name and it's like they are wiped off your board.

Easier yet, just bring up the persons profile and on the line under their name is "Add to Buddy List" and "Add to Ignore List"...just give it a click.

Have a good one!:thumbsup:

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And smoke, your comment --- that's just W R O N G !!
WG