Just needing to vent a bit

I guess I should be thankful for the law that allows me to buy anything at all in a store, regardless the price, quality or effectiveness, without having to be afraid the police are going to crawl up my butt any minute.
Not that I still donâ??t fear them, a lifetime of conditioning is a hard thing to break and not something that is going to happen overnight.
What is missing is an Advocate.
Now I have only been a MMJ patient for about a year but have had my â??illnessesâ?� for more than twenty and am a disabled Vet and unemployed.
One of the wonderful things in life was finding that Marijuana eased the muscle spasms and wrapped the pain in cotton candy and gave me a quality of life I had thought never to obtain again.
I wonâ??t bore you with the howâ??s and whyâ??s of my conditions suffice it to say I am staving off spinal surgery from degenerative disc disease; scoliosis and I also have killer migraines and a sundry of minor ailments.
When I have the opportunity to smoke/ingest some Marijuana , I am whole once more and can stand fairly upright and look my fellow man in the eyes and not his shoes, I feel like a functioning member of society again and have even upon occasion been seen with a smile on my lips.
On that damn scale (1 -10) that I am sure everyone else hates just as much as I do, I hover daily between a six and an eight with episodes of ten and past lasting days and at times a week or more.
Being a Vet and unemployed and below a certain standard of income I get my regular medications from the VA (Narcotics; i.e. Oxycodone, Vicodin and everything in between) dirt cheap.
How nice to be able to legally turn myself into a mindless, addicted, non-functioning zombie (human being) with the governments blessings.
Marijuana on the other hand, while for me personally it is a godsend and the best thing since sliced bread and â?¦ (I could go on for hours extolling the virtues â?¦ but you all know those things already) â?¦ it is simply not within my meager means to purchase even a small amount to â??get me through the day.â?�
Having been removed from society by my illness and relegated to laptop junkie and the best damn househusband I can be, under the circumstances, for my most wonderful wife, we have to get by with one source of income.
At $60 to $90 for an eighth of an ounce it is only possible to get the â??good stuffâ?� when tax money shows up or Christmas or birthdays, and not when I would need it most.
Back to the Advocate that is missing here.
What about the folks that have a great need but canâ??t either afford it or get out and get it even if they could afford it due to the fact that they donâ??t know anyone from that â??milieuâ?� or those that are just to housebound to help themselves. Is there anyone there for them?
I understand the dispensaries and the need for the prices that they set as they are at the forefront and very visible and susceptible to theft, harassment and arrest. The legal and court costs are outrageous and these folks need to make some profit to even make it worth their while to keep the store open.
On the other hand, there are dispensaries opening up left and right, at least here in the San Diego area and someone is making a killing. I am going on the presumption that there are enough â??growersâ?� out there to keep all of these open and stocked as I have yet to see any shortage of product in the few that I have had the pleasure to patronize.
Two of them where even willing to give me a 10% discount for showing them my VA card. First time in my life I have ever gotten anything like that for being a Vet, made me feel good and proud and I was very thankful.
I am not a young man anymore and I can see many other folks out there in the very same boat as I am and do not know where to go or who to talk to and sitting at home suffering when there really is no need for them to do so.
Is there someone that will champion the needs of those that canâ??t fend for themselves, for those that are either unable or uninformed?
We live in a two bedroom apartment so growing is out of the question even if I could somehow scratch together the money to buy all the equipment that would be needed.
Finding someone to grow for you is another major dilemma, how do you go about doing that? What are the questions that need to be asked, how does this work? Just go and hang out at the corner growersâ?? bistro? Take an add out in the paper? More questions, more dilemmas. I am not the only one that is in the dark when it comes to these matters.
Perhaps my agoraphobia has something to do with this as well plus not really being a people person doesnâ??t help matters much either. :o
At the local ASA (Americans for Safe Access) meetings that I am able to go to when I am not in too much pain, I hear folks talking about their thirty plants growing in their garden, or how the neat new hydro system is working so well and that the Volcano (Vaporizer @ $400 or so) is just the bomb.
I sit and listen and try to feel like being a part of it, but for the most part am just on the outside looking in holding that big invisible sign over my head â??Help me!â?�
Depending on where you live in America among the States that allow MMJ, the legal amounts that anyone can have is in the pounds, I think the highest is 12 or so, can you imagine it â?¦ pounds?
And I just sit, hang my head and silently weep into my beard, with the little eighth that I can scratch together just a pale shadow.
One day â?¦

Thatâ??s my rant for the day.

"Where life is more terrible than death, It is then the truest
valor to want to live." Thomas Brown

Hey Friend,
Here in SF many of the clubs have what they call a "compassion day" every week. People with little or no income can go to different clubs on different days of the week and recieve a lil bag for free. Some need more, but the practice is still very helpful. Some clubs have members post messages on a bulletin board where you can find used lighting systems at a very good price.
I am not sure what your situation is but if you can IMO you should come out of that shell and ask for help. I know a couple of local growers here in San Francisco who grow a couple extra plants a piece so they can give it away to those in our Houseless population who are sick. Many clubs sell 1/8ths of good bud for 35-40$, whicch is still steep, but i have seen it as high as 50-65 per 1/8th on the streets. Outrageous.
I am gald that you were able to come here and vent. I do the same thing every once in a while.
I am even happier that you find relief when you use the cannabis plant. Your testimony is solid confirmation for those of us who seek nothing but the truth, and to be heard. I am glad that you have found a way to participate in society.
People cant read invisable signs and many people just arent qualified to recognize when others are yelling for help, or are in need of help. Ask. Let others know what you are going through. Ask for help. It's ok.
Peace,
dai*ma :o

i give props to you man... ive never seen anyone else post a rant so calm and civil... may the peace be with you

I have a few friends in the san diego area who are active in the community. I may be able to help you find a caregiver. My friends have gladly helped out others in the area who couldnt grow or afford enough smoke to keep them medicated. Are pm's possible on this board? do you belong to any other boards?

GREAT RANT and SO TRUE!!

I am in Colorado, which currently has an even worst circumstance going without ANY dispensaries or 'systems' in place to get the medicine to the people. When you are TERMINALLY ILL, or SERIOUS PAIN, it just isn't really very much of an option to grow your own. We have gougers and corporate mentalitys abound here in the Rockys, but there are ALSO many many many people who are looking to show COMPASSION in small positive ways. This is GREAT, activism at the grass roots. I SURE DO hope some people in CA help you get a better circumstance together. There is a BIG DIFFERENCE between a $100. oz and a $350. oz, and the real HEROES:thumbsup: of the MEDICAL MARIJUANA MOVEMENT are the growers and caregivers who understand the inherant reality of fixed income for patients. Keep us informed, Please. I have a feeling, you are about to get the kind of help you really need. GOOD LUCK.:dance: //Timothy(aka COmidnightrider46)

my latest article:"Colorado Medical Marijuana Evolves"
http://www.writingup.com/comidnightr...ijuana_evolves

If you are ever in the Sacramento area, I will gladly help a Vet out.

That was an awesome post! Very well said!

I too am a disabled vet. I have my (hopefully final) compensation and pension physical in a couple of weeks and hope to finally have my settlement. The Army medically retired me but said my condition existed prior to service and left me hanging. I got the VA to agree that the Army was wrong and am moving forward to correct that. Anyways, I have ankylosing spondylitis ( www.spondylitis.org ) and can certainly relate to your pain, fatigue, and frustration. My state went MM a little over ayear ago and I now have my card as a registered MM patient. However, there is no support structure or co-ops setup here. The state law is very vague on the co-op issue and I don't think anyone is brave enough to push the issue yet. Like you, I cannot grow my own and I am having trouble finding a safe and reliable source.

I am also unemployed as being a mechanic was not good with condition. I started a website to help vet's through the disability process etc, I am working on a support group for people with my disease or diseases related to it. I am taking seminary courses and I teach Sunday school. I went to Mississippi and helped after the hurricane and I support missions like that. I am not a criminal and I am not lazy.

Anyways, you are not alone. Hang in there and one day we will have relief.

Feel free to e-mail me montjon66 at hotmail.com

Wow, Thank you all so much for the good and constructive commentaries. It kind of restores my faith in the inherent goodness of Mankind again, which I had thought for some time to have lost or rather not come across as of late.
Daima, I love the idea of the â??clubsâ?� having a special day for folks in my shoes and maybe there is something like that around here as well.
There seems to be some â??cliquishnessâ?� amongst the patrons of the dispensaries and on the occasions that I have been able to go to them I always see the same folks trying to do a Vulcan mind meld with the sofa and the kind folks behind the counter are half way to La-la land themselves.
Marijuana spilled all over the place, the counters a mess and full of shake and buds from various jars and I donâ??t even want to know what hits the floor and just gets tossed. Half of the â??wasteful byproductsâ?� that they produce would keep me happy for a week.
Opiuser, my thanks to you as well. Just goes to show that one can get their point across without having to stoop to the more vulgar forms of â??conversingâ?� on the net.
The Pen will always be mightier than the sword â?¦ always.
Seasmoker, I am at a loss for words at your most kind and generous offer. If you would be so kind and drop me a line here: [email protected] and may whatever deity you choose to worship heap tons of blessings on you.
COmidnightrider46, Thanks for the vote of confidence. I am sorry to hear that as far as availability you are in an even tighter quandary than I am. I foresee many scam artists and just downright Pond scum bottom feeding slime coming out of the woodworks to rip off the poorest of the poor amongst us MMJ patients. It is just the nature of the beast.
If and when I ever do win in the lottery (thereâ??s your good laugh for the day) I keep telling the wife that I want to build a bio-dome and never come out again.
Jeff, your offer touched me deeply. I appreciate the offer and perhaps one day â?¦ you just never know. But for now I want you to enjoy being as young as you are and live life to its fullest.
Mont974x4, isnâ??t the VA fun to deal with? I too am waiting on final monetary compensation but was told that the re-enlistment/severance pay needed to be recouped first before any monthly payments would be made, so I am still looking at years and years of waiting as they recoup at the rate you would be getting it.
Thanks for making me feel not too terribly lonesome in all of this.
Thanks again to everyone.
Peace - Pot - Microdot

I had to repay some money as well, but not a lot. They just took it from my tax return. In the meantime, we struggle with keeping our heads above water. Oh well, such is life.

Hey:
If you are just geting V A, stay on it or get back on, and then (DO NOT ) go on to Social Security they take all of your cost of living, was getting 1,700 a moV A . got on Social Security and then back on v a.
Social Security is about 725.00 and the V A just under 300. I just got mine back after 18 mo. they said they payed me to much. have been on it since 1990 va (service connected).
I had to get on Social Security to make things meet ... Stay away from Social Security if you can... it will hurt you in the long run.

hey man, was my friend able to help you out? please let me know if not and i will put the fire to his ass......Good luck.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by seasmoker

hey man, was my friend able to help you out? please let me know if not and i will put the fire to his ass......Good luck.

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I am a very happy camper:stoned: and forever thankful!!!