A foolproof guide to stealth smoking

ok best and most effective way of smoking...mainly just if your alone tho is to do this..if you follow this step by step...you wont ...and i reapeat WONT get caught........ok....

1st you will need...
1.A bathroom
2.some kind of man body wash...i use axe body wash....
3.some shampoo good smelling kind...strong smelling.
4.of course you pipe..bong..whatever....ive never tried a jay or blunt in there but this is foolproof for pipe or bong....

ok now....go into the bathroom towell under the door....then smoke your stuff while having water running just a little bit to block out the sound of a lighter....just incase parents would be by the door and hear a lighter clicking.....make sure to blow your smoke out the window...then get your axe body wash....now open it and now put a decent amount..not a ton but a couple lines of it on the bathtub/shower floor then repeat with the shampoo...now with your axe and shampoo on the bathtub/shower floor turn the shower on all hot water ..dont get in just turn it on all hot water with the shower curtain open, making sure to smell up the whole room...then...let it wash away and steam/smell up the room of axe then get in the shower and adjust the water settings to your comfort level and use the axe and shampoo on yourself ..then when the showers over....... visine , and brush your teeth then mouthwash..and you will not EVER get caught.....

air freshners=Ozium is the best by my choice,umm you can always use febreeze, but look for odor eliminating.....
mouthwash=go hardcore with the straight listerine
eyedrops=visine,bosch and lombs opcon a,or your fav choice..

now this guide is practically foolproof,have fun.be safe,get stoned

P.S. sorry i didnt put this in there but another thing that would proablly help a good bit would be a doob tube, to make a doob tube, get a used toilet paper roll so its just the cardboard, now get some dryer sheets that you put in your clothes dryer and stuff about 6 or 7 down in there and when you take your hits blow through that..

first of all it's a decent method but so overdone... all you need is everglade tobacco odor killer and visine BLOWS for red eye removal.... get Rhoto-v, it burns like a mother fuck but feels so good when you are high and clears up your eyes in a jiffy. other than that this method is great.

P.S. leave your Rhoto-v's in the fridge or toss em in the freezer for 5-10 minutes, feels amazing~!

I just blow my smoke into a toilet paper roll filled with dryer sheets and spray a bit of axe after i'm done

i'd much rather just wait till theyre all in bed then go smoke a quick bowl in the back yard. and im one of the lucky ones who's eyes dont get red at all, when im stoned, i dont look it:D

Meh I dont go thru all this. I just take my blunt and smoke out the window. Then I turn on the fan and open the window and spray my cologne into the fan and wash my face and brush my teeth and change my clothes lol. Usually they dont notice anything.

yea i usualyl just wait till my parents r in their room then i have this lil closet attached to my room that i go and sit in and just smoke. after im done i leave the door slightly open and smell is gone by mornin. plus my parents nvr go in there. its real tight. one of these days i plan to clean it up and put some sorta light in there so i can smoke w/ friends in there. cuz there is enough room.

i just sit were ever i want in my house and smoke.

after being caught almost 20 or so times and my parents not letting up one bit I decided that when i moved in with my dad i would make sure that i would never get caught agian.

Some might call this a little overboard but if you new my situation you would understand why its crutial.

1st I stole one of those things that go over your mouth so you dont breath in dust and i cut a circle right were my mouth is about the size of a quarter. I attached some clrear tubing and secured it in the hole useing hot glue. then i drilled a hole into the blue board facing an extreior wall (making sure it has insulation in it) in my closet. the hole fits pervfectly around the tube. then i put about 2 feet of tube into the hole in the wall, then i light a jay in my closet and put the dusk mask on instantly. i just breath out and all the msoke goesinto the insulation in the wall. ilet the ash from the jay just drop down into the tube aswell. after im done i take a cork and plug up the hole in the wall and spary some fabreeze in my closet. take some eye drops and chew a piece of gum.

a little extreme but it works for me

lol...thats tight...

lol at all this. I used to be a stealthy smoker, now I'm more or a semi-stealth smoker. And your foolproof method doesn't have any help what so ever for bathrooms w/o windows, like mine. :(

Anyways, I also happen to like visene, it gets the job done easily. And since I am still at home for like a month longer, I just wait till everyone is asleep, then take a step outside. That's all you gotta do.

God damn! You are CLEVER!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Its a Plant

lol at all this. I used to be a stealthy smoker, now I'm more or a semi-stealth smoker. And your foolproof method doesn't have any help what so ever for bathrooms w/o windows, like mine. :(

Anyways, I also happen to like visene, it gets the job done easily. And since I am still at home for like a month longer, I just wait till everyone is asleep, then take a step outside. That's all you gotta do.

---

my dads gf has 3 dogs so when ever i walk down stairs im bombarded with 3 dogs barking like crazy ... plus some people like me cant wait till everyone goes to sleep

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Thehulkster321

after being caught almost 20 or so times and my parents not letting up one bit I decided that when i moved in with my dad i would make sure that i would never get caught agian.

Some might call this a little overboard but if you new my situation you would understand why its crutial.

1st I stole one of those things that go over your mouth so you dont breath in dust and i cut a circle right were my mouth is about the size of a quarter. I attached some clrear tubing and secured it in the hole useing hot glue. then i drilled a hole into the blue board facing an extreior wall (making sure it has insulation in it) in my closet. the hole fits pervfectly around the tube. then i put about 2 feet of tube into the hole in the wall, then i light a jay in my closet and put the dusk mask on instantly. i just breath out and all the msoke goesinto the insulation in the wall. ilet the ash from the jay just drop down into the tube aswell. after im done i take a cork and plug up the hole in the wall and spary some fabreeze in my closet. take some eye drops and chew a piece of gum.

a little extreme but it works for me

---

Dude thats fucking nuts! But like in the good way.I really respect you for pulling that shit offf to just get a quick innocent toke.Isn't it lame you have to go through all that just to enjoy a drug like Mj? What are you really doing wrong?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Thehulkster321

my dads gf has 3 dogs so when ever i walk down stairs im bombarded with 3 dogs barking like crazy ... plus some people like me cant wait till everyone goes to sleep

---

I've got 2 little-shit ankle bitter dogs as well, who hear me opening up a cabinet from upstairs and start barking. Luckily they are in my mom's room when I head out.

Are your 3 beasts of dogs locked up at night or do they roam freely?

My parents know I smoke. But I still don't let them catch me since they don't really want me doing it in the house. They always say how my room smells like a ashtray. lol

2 are in crates in the laundry room and the saint bernard sleeps in the living room. The saint bernard is pretty mello, its the 2 little rat dogs that always hear me.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kryptonite420

Fuck it im gonna go in my room and smoke out and i aint gonna try and cover it up if i get caught well shit happens. i just dont care anymore im gonna enjoi my herb instead of creeping around all the time.

---

I remeber when I had that attitude, I had been soooooo mad after finding my moms bf's pipe along with 2 roaches hidden in his pack of cigs. I wouldnt have minded it he hadnt been such a hypocrit and confiscated my bud atleast 5 times. It was 8:00 p.m. and i was like fuck it and sparked the 2 roaches up right in the kitchen not even bothering to hide it. About an hour later someone rings the door bell I hear my mom go down stairs and open the door, It was the COPS! She says hes upstairs, they come up and say that my mom called sayng I smoked pot in the house and that I was in possesion of a pipe! The bitch framed me but nuthing came of it becuase I told the cops my story and they said they didnt have the right to search my room just from a phonecall. That was it for me, I packed up my stuff and moved in with my dad. She still denies it to my dad and says it was my pot and my pipe and that her bf woudl never smoke pot.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Thehulkster321

I remeber when I had that attitude, I had been soooooo mad after finding my moms bf's pipe along with 2 roaches hidden in his pack of cigs. I wouldnt have minded it he hadnt been such a hypocrit and confiscated my bud atleast 5 times. It was 8:00 p.m. and i was like fuck it and sparked the 2 roaches up right in the kitchen not even bothering to hide it. About an hour later someone rings the door bell I hear my mom go down stairs and open the door, It was the COPS! She says hes upstairs, they come up and say that my mom called sayng I smoked pot in the house and that I was in possesion of a pipe! The bitch framed me but nuthing came of it becuase I told the cops my story and they said they didnt have the right to search my room just from a phonecall. That was it for me, I packed up my stuff and moved in with my dad. She still denies it to my dad and says it was my pot and my pipe and that her bf woudl never smoke pot.

---

Man, that is some fucked up shit right there!

I just wait till peeps are asleep and then I head outside for a toke.

I just wait till bout 9 when my mom lays down or whenver i feel like it go in my basement an smoke a bowl

First off my basement smells like moldy ass and my moms been smokin for over 30 years i dont even think she notices the smell

i change my clothes and put in some gum and sit in my room

i just smoke out of my window, ive accually smoked with parents outside, they dont care about that, but i dont like to go out there with them. so i just open my window, have a bowl and turn on my "table" fan & blow air out of my room and let it circulate, smell is gone my monring(sometimes ill light a stick on nag incense, best ever)

I think that's a little extreme. All I do is blow the smoke into an old black jacket that I never wear and spray a little febreeze. I just stash the jacket in my closet afterwards. I can hide being high pretty well and they haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Thehulkster321

I remeber when I had that attitude, I had been soooooo mad after finding my moms bf's pipe along with 2 roaches hidden in his pack of cigs. I wouldnt have minded it he hadnt been such a hypocrit and confiscated my bud atleast 5 times. It was 8:00 p.m. and i was like fuck it and sparked the 2 roaches up right in the kitchen not even bothering to hide it. About an hour later someone rings the door bell I hear my mom go down stairs and open the door, It was the COPS! She says hes upstairs, they come up and say that my mom called sayng I smoked pot in the house and that I was in possesion of a pipe! The bitch framed me but nuthing came of it becuase I told the cops my story and they said they didnt have the right to search my room just from a phonecall. That was it for me, I packed up my stuff and moved in with my dad. She still denies it to my dad and says it was my pot and my pipe and that her bf woudl never smoke pot.

---

I always thought the authorities taught the kids to fink on their parents. Not the other way around. Sorry to say this but your mom is a bitch for protecting herb/f at the expense of her own blood. Not in my life!!! You did the smart thing packing and moving out.

Well, I have my own house, but my partner don't like me smoking pot, so I go to the tool shed and smoke there, do some things outside and then go in and no smell. Sometimes, I burn garbage in the outdoor fire pit, when I come in I smeel like campfire smoke, not pot. Don't use listerine, it has too much alcohol and if you suddenly have to blow a breathelyzer, you could be DUI. I used to use visine, but I am also lucky in that I don't get red eye. Smoking a cig. after helps too, but for those who don't smoke cig's . . . . .oh well, lots of good ideas here.

Yup, too bad we have to hide what we smoke while cig. smokers can have at it with no problem. Seems odd, eh.

I think all pot smokers should become united and say "fuck it" and smoke openly and in front of everyone and f****** blow pot smoke in everyone's faces and to hell with their conservative lame brain attitudes. I always wanted to do that when some obnoxious asshole lights a cig. at the bus stop and I start getting a migraine from his second hand smoke. Just light a joint and say "f*** you".

Dogs are notorious for smelling pot on you. Even if they aren't trained to sniff pot, somehow, they already know. I got a neighbour dog about 5 acres away from me and if I sit on my deck and spark one, the f****** starts howling like he knows I am having a joint. Real pain in the ass. If not for that howling, my neighbourhood would be deathly quiet.

Running hot water in the shower would surely show up as an increase on the utility bill because of the increased cost of heating water - especially if you toke every 4 hours. Seems a bit much really. Just go for a walk down the street. I lost 30 lb. going for a walk every 2-4 hours just to smoke a doob. Get high and get exercise too.

Oh well, to each his own.:thumbsup:
One day it will be legal & we won't have the stigma anymore.:thumbsup:

i'm lucky in that my eyes are always red, and in that i always act high. my mother usually can't tell

Yea that would work, but dont u think your parents would start to think something is up when "Your taking 3 showers" a day? tottally ruins the stealth:D

so im thinking you guys just need some practice smoking? i smoke every night out of a waterbong either in my room, or in the TV room, and it doesnt smell at all. even right after i finish.

all i do is make sure to control my hits, like put out the nug before i finish my hit and shit, so that the only smoke that gets into the room is the smoke i exhaled, which usually isnt enough to smell up the room.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Thehulkster321

I remeber when I had that attitude, I had been soooooo mad after finding my moms bf's pipe along with 2 roaches hidden in his pack of cigs. I wouldnt have minded it he hadnt been such a hypocrit and confiscated my bud atleast 5 times. It was 8:00 p.m. and i was like fuck it and sparked the 2 roaches up right in the kitchen not even bothering to hide it. About an hour later someone rings the door bell I hear my mom go down stairs and open the door, It was the COPS! She says hes upstairs, they come up and say that my mom called sayng I smoked pot in the house and that I was in possesion of a pipe! The bitch framed me but nuthing came of it becuase I told the cops my story and they said they didnt have the right to search my room just from a phonecall. That was it for me, I packed up my stuff and moved in with my dad. She still denies it to my dad and says it was my pot and my pipe and that her bf woudl never smoke pot.

---

I think its just that he has your mom fixed on the thought, that no way in hell did or does he smoke weed.So your mom believing him just thinks her baneful teenage son is probably getting into some minor drug habits.So she blames you and not her b/f.Sounds resonable but no doubt is it not fair.

if you can really hold your breath, you could just hold it in until next to no smoke came out. this is better to do in your bedroom or somewhere where you can lay down to minimize oxygen comsumption. if you're already high it's easier.