Marijuana + Me = Bad.

When I first started smoking I was one paranoid mother fucker. I always thought I was going to die. My heart racing, thoughts going through my mind at a million miles per hours.

"My heart is going to explode. I'm going to die."

That's all.

I just don't get it. I smoked non-stop for a week a while ago and had no ill affects. I wasn't scared. I felt great. I was thirsty, though.

Now I just can't have an experience like that again. I've had a few different bags from different dealers in different areas that looked different, so I'm sure they aren't all the same strain. Nothing does it (that good feeling).

I took ONE weak hit yesterday and nearly flipped out. To me, my chest was stopping, though it clearly wasn't. I was checking my pulse every other second. Then, oh no, it's going to explode. Racing. Racing. Racing.

"Fuck, I'm going to die. What the fuck is going on?"

I just can't fucking have fun with this stuff anymore. I try so hard, but it always fails. I freak out. It's absolutely rediculous.

I'm diagnosed bi-polar -- atleast I was five or six years ago. I'm 19 years old now. I took a ton of medication for quite some time and then stopped a few years ago. I was fine for quite some time, atleast two years.

Then I put on quite a bit of weight, about 60 lb. Over the course of a year I lost it all plus some -- then things started acting up. I always thought I was going to die. I checked my pulse every few minutes to check if my heart was still beating, sort of like ritual, such as with OCD. If I didn't do it, I'd die. Every little pain or tension was a huge problem and set me off.

"I'm going to die."

I went to a doctor after suffering from this for about four months and they said it was anxiety -- I didn't buy it. They prescribed Xanax. I get the bottle full of pills and never took any. I was afraid I'd just somehow die from taking them, that maybe they weren't really Xanax, or maybe I'd have some freak allergic reaction and just die. I have this huge fear with dieing. I wouldn't even take Advil for a headache, antibiotics when I had a cold, nothing. I was just so fucking scared.

Yes, I obviously have something wrong with me, but I can't seem to get it under control.

The paranoia has settled down a bit. I check my pulse once in a while when I get nervous. I'm no longer really afraid to take medication when I'm sick, though sometimes I do hesitate.

I'm not religious, but I have this fear of death. It's not that I'm afraid of "meeting my maker" or any of that, becuase frankly I just don't believe any of it. I just fear my life ceasing to exist.

I still can't get high without flipping out with fear and panic. It usually fades after 15 to 30 minutes, the body high kicks in, and I relax. I can't move. Atleast I couldn't the last time I smoked, which was with my girlfriend.

When I do smoke, I only take a few hits becuase I think if I take anymore my paranoia will get stronger, but I think back to that week I was able to have a blast for a week and I smoked quite a bit then. Now I take a little pinch (literally), take two or three hits and I can't do anymore.

I've read a few people say before that these sort of things happen to them when they only smoke a little bit, but if they do more, they're fine. Has anyone else ever experienced that?

With all that off-topic babbling, should I just stop trying? I don't know what to do.

shit man, see a therapist

Haha, I used to see those doctors for years and they never really helped.

i've had anxiety and depression and shit and i used to totally flip out and do the whole heart racing checking pulse thing, there were a couple times i thought i was gonna have a heart attack and stuff, but i just changed my like mental state towards it and now im fine, rather than trying to fight the bad effects (racing heart, etc.) i just accept it as part of the high and see it as something positive or just something not worth paying attention too and i enjoy it a lot more. hope this helps! keep on tokin:rasta:

i also suffer from OCD...it does suck pretty fukin bad

lmaooooooooooooooooooooooo

heres a little food for thought man

what if you were to die? what if you ceased to exist instantly... would you know about it? probably not.

i don't know if i'm strange or something because i wouldn't mind dying all that much.

your problem is that you're thinking about it too much. you need to relax, and every time you get the urge to check your pulse, remember that your body gave you that urge so you know you are alive just from that.

also, weed has a tendency to heighten any psychological disorders a user may already have (i've experienced it with my OCD, sucks a lot) so if you can't seem to control this, consider other things you may be taking, your general mood and outlook on life, and most importantly, what made you that way.

you must know your history to know yourself.

i have had a few psychological problems that i have cured using weed. i sit in my room smoking and i use my memory to take my problems to their root, way back when i think i first got them. i consider to myself how i got them, and why they have lingered in me so long.

this is the way i believe weed should be used, in my opinion it is not a drug to just get fucked up on.

what people do not seem to realize is that your mind IS YOUR BODY, it has complete control over it. your mind is a lot more powerful than the body, and you need to learn to control it. it takes some time, but if you think about it too much you're really screwing yourself. it's very simple, you tell yourself you aren't going to check your pulse anymore or worry about death and live life as it comes to you, and then you go out and you do just that. think about that a bit :D

sounds like your scared of dying... weed aint bad for ya, you'd die sooner smoking cigarettes, i'd say either quit completely if its THAT bad, or just start smoking regularly and your body and mind will get used to it :rasta:

pixel, thanks for the advice.

About dieing and not knowing you're dead -- I understand that, and I think about that, and possibly, I think that's what I might be fearing.

lol, I made that "pounding heart?" thread, the whole heart situation sucks sometimes but I can avoid it now. First off, if you think about your heart DO NOT try and check it, even if you think it stoped (because every time I can assure you it didn't stop) You wont die from a heart beating like all hell either, and most the time when it happens it doesn't last too long. Just try and focuse on something else and moderate your breathing. Thats what freaks me out sometimes, Ill have a fast heart rate and I wonder if I should breath faster too, then I have a panic attack and think im gonna die for sure. lol, its ridiculous thinking about it now but it happens. All I can say is don't focuse on it and you should be fine.

I'm not going to pretend to have the same issue you have, but I think pixel has a very good point. If you smoke grass in a safe and secure environment (like in your room or at a good friend's place, with NO distractions - parents, television, unwanted guests, etc) you might find the effects easier to harness.

I have always thought that grass can act in coordination with the mind when used properly.

Then again I might be totally wrong. Maybe the best thing is for you to talk to a doctor.

Good luck.

dont worry i still get paranoid sometimes too idk why i just do and i have been smokin for 8 years :stoned:

All I have to contribute is that there isn't one prescription medication out there that works fine with absolutely everybody. The same goes for weed or any other substance.

Wow this thread is like everything I've been going through with weed. For a while I had a lot of problems with weed, it just wasn't fun but I kept doing it. Then I started getting scared, scared of dying, scared of having all these diseases, afraid of being alone. I used to truly believe that I died sometime when I started doing drugs, and everything from that point up had been a dream.

But through weed I began to go to the roots of my problems, as pixel said, and use the weed to cure myself. Lately I've been feeling a lot better and getting less scared. It feels like a rebirth. What I'm saying is you'll get through it, don't be scared.

The only problem i have ever had is a mild naseua. Sometimes when i first started smoking my high would be unpleasant because i felt like i would throw up although i never did. The nasuea has subsided now and it almost feels like if i eat it goes away completely. I have only experienced paranoia once and for me it wasnt that bad. Sometimes though i think theres all these ghosts in my house and i get scared. Other than that im fine and my highs are very pleasurable. Good luck with your problems i hope they get better and you can enjoy the high.

One time I smoked 4 bowls of exceptionally good weed and this was back when my tolerance was low. I stumbled outside and collapsed and I just laid there feeling my body pulse as my heart raced. I then remembered that nobody has died from a mj overdose, my heart wasn't going to explode. After that I felt great.


Maybe you have a heart condition? You should look into that, if nothing is found maybe you can overcome a mental block.

it's all mental...

Weed = Good. :smokin:

Sometimes I get paranoid by some kind of pain being revealed (Or what I interpret to be)

Well, right now I'm attempting to prevent myself from getting nervous. I packed my bowl, sparked, took a hit. This rush hit me nearly instantly. My chest felt funny but I forced myself not to reach for my neck and take my pulse. We'll see in a bit how I feel and maybe I'll take another.

if you don't like it, dont smoke it. you dont have to feel the same fun in the sun as us to be a part of the community.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by pixel

heres a little food for thought man

what if you were to die? what if you ceased to exist instantly... would you know about it? probably not.

i don't know if i'm strange or something because i wouldn't mind dying all that much.

your problem is that you're thinking about it too much. you need to relax, and every time you get the urge to check your pulse, remember that your body gave you that urge so you know you are alive just from that.

also, weed has a tendency to heighten any psychological disorders a user may already have (i've experienced it with my OCD, sucks a lot) so if you can't seem to control this, consider other things you may be taking, your general mood and outlook on life, and most importantly, what made you that way.

you must know your history to know yourself.

i have had a few psychological problems that i have cured using weed. i sit in my room smoking and i use my memory to take my problems to their root, way back when i think i first got them. i consider to myself how i got them, and why they have lingered in me so long.

this is the way i believe weed should be used, in my opinion it is not a drug to just get fucked up on.

what people do not seem to realize is that your mind IS YOUR BODY, it has complete control over it. your mind is a lot more powerful than the body, and you need to learn to control it. it takes some time, but if you think about it too much you're really screwing yourself. it's very simple, you tell yourself you aren't going to check your pulse anymore or worry about death and live life as it comes to you, and then you go out and you do just that. think about that a bit :D

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I gotta try doing that sometime...I have a...well, not disorder, but weird quirk...about me that makes it so I can...not...fucking...hurt...people. Not even people I hate (physically). I mean, I can be a very cruel, manipulative, persuasive person, but I can't really hurt someone else. In Tae Kwon Do (Korean style of martial arts), I would lose at sparring and get my ass kicked, even though I -know- I'm an okay sparring partner. In Football, I'd always be holding back.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by P.E.N.G.U.I.N.

I gotta try doing that sometime...I have a...well, not disorder, but weird quirk...about me that makes it so I can...not...fucking...hurt...people. Not even people I hate (physically). I mean, I can be a very cruel, manipulative, persuasive person, but I can't really hurt someone else. In Tae Kwon Do (Korean style of martial arts), I would lose at sparring and get my ass kicked, even though I -know- I'm an okay sparring partner. In Football, I'd always be holding back.

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I think the right question to ask yourself when you feel like you cant hurt anyone is, if someone hit your mother would you hit them back? If someone hit your girlfriend, would you hit them back?

I believe that the only men that should be hurt are those that hurt women.

Hmm.. I was alright. A bit nervous at times but I just relaxed and watch some television. My chest still does feel a bit funny and I got pretty sleepy (which always happens when I smoke) and I fell asleep during the third episode of Family Guy I put on. Not sure how long I slept but I figure no longer than 30 minutes. I am still tired, though.

Next time, two hits and we'll see how I do.

I don't have anxiety or anything, but when i began smoking i was paranoid as fuck, especially after this one day(long story, i was split as fuck too). you just need to have a real good experience, once i had a good time i stopped getting paranoid. maybe thatll work.

I only get anxiety attacks when I am physically alone. If someone else is in the room, I am fine.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Xylene

Well, right now I'm attempting to prevent myself from getting nervous. I packed my bowl, sparked, took a hit. This rush hit me nearly instantly. My chest felt funny but I forced myself not to reach for my neck and take my pulse. We'll see in a bit how I feel and maybe I'll take another.

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Alright well, you gotta realize first of all that weed is going to have a physical effect on you. Your chest WILL feel funny, there is smoke in it. The rush is supposed to hit you pretty fast. Consider how many people weed has ever killed... that's right... none. Look it up, not one recorded death in the history of the use of the substance, and that dates back to way before Jesus ever walked this earth.

Try this out for me. Pack a nice bowl up, take 10 hits from it, or until it is done if you can, and during this process I want you to try your best to block out every single thought that comes to your mind.

Repeat to yourself: This high is going to be a great time.

Any time something negative pops into your head and you want to feel your neck, say that again to yourself. The trick is, you have to mean it. That may take some practice.

Oh and about not knowing that you're dead (what you said earlier) think about this: you can't do anything about death, it's inevitable, to every birth there is a death. If you can't do anything about it, why worry about it? It's out of your power.

Instead of spending your whole life worrying about death, spend it worrying about what else you can do to make life fulfilling. That way, when you get old and gray and death comes to you, you can look back and say that you have no regrets.

Good luck and happy highs :rasta:

Whats so bad about dying?

You won't get to get high anymore.

Oh, It's not the marijuana I think that's going to kill me. I know no one has ever died from it -- directly. All things that make my heart race just scare me.

When you're dead, getting high isn't a concern... it's trying to get everything in order at the office that's the concern. "Hey, I've been waiting in line for like a week? When is my new body coming in?"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Xylene

This rush hit me nearly instantly. My chest felt funny...

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I usually get that when I toke up, its what I call "getting high." The feeling you get as the THC makes its way from your lungs to your brain and throughout your body.

Gotta go finish my bowl now.

2 words man self hyptnotizeation (if it makes sense :)) yea just tell ur self ur fine befor u smoke and when u are and just chill dont rush man just say in ur mind fuck all this shit who gives a fuck

You need to accept what marijuana does to you. The more you accept the high the better you will feel. If your 19 I would recommend you growing some sativa and smoke a whole blunt...If you get the same effects you should know that it's natural. What your saying does seem natural seems like you were just having a panic attack and is too paranoid about your high. BTW WakingDream...are you meaning to tell me when I feel like something is going from my stomach all the way up to my brain that feel a lil' cold thats the THC reaching my brain? Lol.

Weed has the ability to reveal you to yourself. Abviously there must be a problem with you and not the weed. Weed is Gods gift to us.

I too began smoking and absolutely loved it. Then I started smoking very regularly and had a lot on my mind at the time. I think I was getting stoned and thinking too much and got into a routine of doing so which in turn led me to have panick attacks. I stopped smoking 4 months + and started again about three weeks ago and it has been a wonderful mental vacation everytime from all my work. I too can symphathize with you about OCD it really is a pain in the ass. Something that has worked for me is when you begin feeling a repetitious thought process or feel like doing something to release that stress like checking your pulse just tell yourself you will do it later and believe it. If you can succesfully do that there are a number of cognitive thereapy steps you can work through to release that overall anxiousness. You may want to speak with a therapist that specializes in anxiety and does not just want to push medication on you. As for now when you truley feel anxious take 10 deep breathes slowly and take it by the hour with each hour being better. And taking one of those Xanax certainly won't harm you if you ever truly feel you need immediate relief. Good Luck :)

I don't know if this will help.

But the heart racing thing I have been in the same EXACT boat as you in that one.I remember I smoked a joint before school with 2 friends and went to class my freshman year, never in my life to experiance paranoia.Well this day in class was a little different, I could hear my heart beating extra strange right in my head and it would go fast and fast and fast and I would think "Oh Fuck its going to stop! I'm going to have a heart attack for sure!" Then visions of me freaking out having a panic attack and flopping on the ground while my teacher goes ape shit and gets the nurse start started to race through my mind.Well I put my head down and I really don't remember what happened.I just know eventually the high went away and so did the paranoia.Well after that I was a marked man, never to smoke weed like that again, I found I thought my tolerance was so low that if I took one or two hits I was set.:).Not really it was just me being a pussy because I kept thinking I was going to die if I smoked to much weed, and none of my friends understood.Well after research on the drug to see what was really happening I just realize it was paranoia attacks which were normal.

This is what always cures my attacks when they come around, even htough they don't that much anymore.JUST tell yourself NOONE has ever died, or "OD'ed" off smoking weed.It would just be a very delusive, abberrant thing if you did.Just really dosn't happen.Then think of something that you can look forward too that will make you happy, like hanging out with friends later, going out to eat, watching a movie, going to a show.AND JUST chill.And try not to do your rituals there just there to make you freak out more.

Yeah also it depends on your weight and how much you consume. Take a big fuckin' hit and blow it in your dog's face, if you have a small dog one blow will have him stumbling lol. So you should watch that too. I mean even though no one has died by smokin' weed before when you have that panic attack you keep seeing vision feeling like you probably would be the first one. If you ask me when your feeling this way stop everything. When nothing else works I get a heavy blanket, lay on the couch and watch a movie. If it's dark outside do NOT watch a movie with the lights out, I really freak out when the lights are out for some reason. If you havent reached the peak of your high yet it might get a little strange lying down but just keep lying there. The worse I feel the more I tell my self I'm ok and close my eyes and everything goes good. But basically I would say even if weed cannot be over-dosed on know your limit, because if you pass it even if there wasnt any deaths on weed, more than likely you'll flip out lol. Also another way to avoid all this is just to be with friends when your smokin' and probably walkin around if you arent chillin wit 'em (I noticed when I walk around or stand up my high is less..rapid heart beating rather than bending over to get something or sitting if your fairly new). When you see they are experiencing the same thing I dont know about any one else but it makes me more comfortable than being by my self wondering if I'm gonna die or not lol.

YOU STUPID FUCK ITS JUST WEED ITS NOT GONNA KILL YOU
ILL PUT A REAL DRUG IN YOU AND THEN WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS

Hahaha, I love when people try and breakdown weed... YA CAN'T, cause it's almost the perfect drug. So much so that some are actually offended when you insult their precious "herb".

Dude you remind me of my friend who apparently smoked some real good weed and was "too high" and couldn't handle it so of all people.....he calls his mom!! He smoked with me before but he never smoked really good stuff like I smoke. Than again he said the weed may have been laced with PCP because he said it gave him similar symptoms as we were both reading up on it.