MY mom is getting on my nerves

My mom knows I smoke, and she has zero toleration of it. I try to respect her and I mostly keep it out of the house. I've explained to her a million times how I dont drink because it's bad for me, how I usually vaporize it so that I'm not smoking, but she doesn't beleive me that it's not bad for you. My dad doesn't like me doing it but he doesn't get on my ass about it and will actually sit down with me and talk to me about it. My mom will just ground me, make me go everywhere with her, come in my room and check on me every 5 minutes, if she thinks I was stoned.

Yesterday I stayed after at school to do my homework and then called her. She came and got me. The corner of my eye was red, like a little spot that you can see if I look to the left. That was the only part on my eye that was red for whatever reason. I wasnt high but she assumed I was because of it.

She apparently went through the basement and found some lighter that wasn't even mine. I had never even brought a lighter down there, but she assumes it's mine because I'm the only one in my family that would have one. Now I'm grounded and she just tried to make me go to the doctor appt. with my sister but I was playin halo and she just left without me and now I'll be in more trouble.

Now I know shes my mom and I do respect her but sometimes she just gets so out of hand that I can't just sit there and let her be a bitch to me. I have actually tried to stop smoking, like from august to january I hadn't smoked one bit. But she still thought I did it and I still got in trouble If my eyes were red, If i was being "suspicious" or anything like that. And smoking is like my favorite thing to do... you guys understand that. Nothing compares to it and my mom cant understand why I do it. She just thinks I do it because people pressure me, but its quite different than that. Alot of people have told me not to including my friends but I tell them why and they understand. I would never do something just because people tell me to.

I guess this is just a rant but if you got anything to say go ahead.

My parents used to be like that, now they just tell me to stop and say I'll OD on heroin in a couple of years.

Well tonight my parents are off with me for some reason. Last night there was a news report about cannabis about how you get mental illness from it, and guys in prison saying shit like "If I'd just never touched weed when I was younger I wouldn't be here now." Well this evening, I got back from college and my Mum was all quiet and not herself (she's quitting her job and getting a hard time about it), then my Dad got back and was fine with me, he spoke to my Mum for about 10 minutes, then I went into the lounge to ask what was for after dinner and he looked pissed off and didn't even look at me.

I don't know what the fuck's up, but it has to stop, this is whack!

wow, your parents sucks

hahaha... funny shit man funny shit, my parents have raised 10 kids so when i got arrested they barely even cared, they know what teenagers do big deal kids smoke pot, who doesnt or didnt when they were a kid? its the social norm practically to smoke in high school

how old are you? 10? 12? tell your mom "listen here bitch! when i turn 18 i am soooo outta here! so says every troubled youth while living at home under strict parents...

lol do i sound 10? I'm 15... 3 more years and I get to leave. But do I really sound 10?

Parents are weird sometimes.

Luckily, it has never been a problem. When I was younger, about 16, or 17, my mom was always concerned about me leading into other drugs. The funny thing is, I never really started smoking until I was 19 or so. It must have been the booze and cocaine giving me away :p

The bad thing is, your parents will never change. They were raised on, by the sounds of it, that MJ is a gateway drug. This is how they were raised and taught, no changing them man.

Good luck.

I put the same thing to my mum. She wasnt against cannabis in the slightest but she just said how much do you smoke a week. Then I said its better for you than alcohol and I vapouriser so reduced negative effects.

I had one of those too.....

Try not to get too pissed off about it, she is doing what she "thinks" is best for you and honey that is a damn site better than having parents that don't give a shit at all about ya. She bugs you because she loves you and as paranoid as she is about it, I bet she knew someone who's life got fucked up because of drugs. She loves you, just try to keep it out of her site and stuff.
When she comes up with her paranoid "I know you're high" don't get defensive, get rational with her.
How would I get high at school?
Do you really think I would risk taking drugs at school?
I respect you too much to ride around with you right after I blaze mom.
That lighter isn't mine, you don't have to beleive me but please don't punish me because you think it might be.
And above all, never, hardly ever, lie to your parent's, that trust thing is easy to break and fucking hard to get back.
This kind of stuff might lead to a real discussion, and even if it doesn't she will know you better and if she see's you making some semi-responsible decisions she may lighten up on you.

Parents are right when they say cannabis is a gateway drug. The gateway to a wonderful world full of pixies and dancing fairys.

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Originally Posted by ibreakthings

lol do i sound 10? I'm 15... 3 more years and I get to leave. But do I really sound 10?

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heh nah dude i was just being a dick i apologize

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Originally Posted by ScarlettCrush

don't get defensive, get rational with her.

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Usually when I get rational with people, they're the ones to get defensive. I rarely tried to reason with my mom because as soon as she was backed into a corner (when arguing against her reasoning), she'd stop the conversation, yelling "I've said it already" or "I don't want to talk about this". Due to the lack of a real conversation (and her power over me at the time), I never brought up cigarettes or weed to discuss. She's more open minded than many other people I have spoken with, unfortunately.

my mum is exactly the same....

The past few days she has just been constantly having a go at me....just being really rude to me, thinking she knows what i do all day, which is honestly just college....

Today she came up and said she was getting rid of my cats and computer...i had to change my friends....blah blah

Yesterday i could hear her crying from my room which is two floors up....so i went down to see what was wrong and she explained.....what was.....and she is really depressed and worried....she thinks im going to go pchizophrenic due to my smoking (loads of other shit aswell...sisters lung collapsed....so i hugged her for a bit....lol).....she HATES weed....and nothing I say will make her change her mind

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Originally Posted by Nochowderforyou

The bad thing is, your parents will never change. They were raised on, by the sounds of it, that MJ is a gateway drug. This is how they were raised and taught, no changing them man.

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i suppose that is quite true.....its very annoying, but true

im not going to go on....

I dont argue back anymore because it just leads to both of us getting even more stressed...i just do what she says to keep her happy and off my back and wait for the day when i finished college and get a fulltime job so i can leave here......(I just remembered when i got back today she had been through my cupboards and took my bong :( luckily she didnt see the near 3oz of mushrooms! i would have been in shit then.....)

rant over....:)

Hope all works out for the best dude

Peace

:)

Man, if my parents ever grounded me or punished me, I only listened to them if their grounding was justified. Did I sneak out at night and get piss-ass drunk? Then yes, I ought to be punished. But that lighter bit? Thats bullshit. If she is going to punish you for finding a friggen lighter in her house that isn't even yours, then I don't think you should listen or her or respect her decision to punish you.

I have found that the best way to get back at my parents for their anti-weed business was to show them that it doesn't actually fuck up yer life. Be a "success" and prove them wrong.

Unfortunatly, there isn't a whole lot that you can do as of right now. If you have tried to talk with her adult to adult, and she isn't doing the same, then screw her. If she wants to treat you like a fool, then she doesn't deserve your respect.

i dont got no mom or dad to tell me to stop but if i did i wouldnt

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Originally Posted by friendowl

i dont got no mom or dad to tell me to stop but if i did i wouldnt

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here here neither do i! but you know sometimes its good to be nice to your parents, cause you know they provide everything for you, but if they arnt good parents then fuck em, kill em i think all bad parents should die

Quit for a bit have her piss test you.Then when you finally pass it just give her the shut the fuck up now look, and just leave it at that.

Only if its that big of a deal.

That's a mother for you. Those who fight back end up with problems. Those who everything she says end up with nothing. Best advice is to keep doing what you're doing and staying out of trouble as much as possible, anything that might alert her that you're up to no good is bad. In the instance that you've described it seems that she was wrong, and in that case I'd suggest sitting down with your dad and telling him what happened. If yo really didn't do anything then he'll put in a good word for you.

All I can say is, there's good advice here... She's your mom,respect her and her wishs... While you are under her roof she is the boss... My mom was tough,She only wanted what was best for me... Be thankful she loves you!!!

Scarlett is so wise.

Go with the rational route and remain calm.

When I was your age it wasn't an issue for me. I smoked just about everyday and I hid it from them. My parents never knew I smoked or did anything until I was like 19 and I told my dad about it. If you know your mom is going to freak out then why would you talk to her about it or why get yourself into a position where she is going to find out? I'm all about being honest... but not being stupid... if a cop pulls you over for speeding are you going to tell him you have a dime bag in your pocket?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to be an asshole and I'm not calling you stupid... I'm just trying to understand.

damn im very glad i didnt have these kinda problems. my mom is so cool that see lent me $100 to buy a qp.:D

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Originally Posted by IntrepidS

That's a mother for you. Those who fight back end up with problems. Those who everything she says end up with nothing. Best advice is to keep doing what you're doing and staying out of trouble as much as possible, anything that might alert her that you're up to no good is bad. In the instance that you've described it seems that she was wrong, and in that case I'd suggest sitting down with your dad and telling him what happened. If yo really didn't do anything then he'll put in a good word for you.

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i totally agree with you, thats what i would do!

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Originally Posted by Az.

(I just remembered when i got back today she had been through my cupboards and took my bong luckily she didnt see the near 3oz of mushrooms! i would have been in shit then.....)

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do you know what she did with it?

I don't think he told her, his parents just found out, thats a shame about ure mother, problems ppl experience when takin drugs is usually other ppl telling them there opinion on it, and cuz you know its all shite you will get angry and try and defend it, or ridicule the opinion cuz of how blatently full of shit it is (Gateway theory), but the best thing to do in any argument of words is to stay calm when ppl are goin mad at u, this will get under there skin 10x more than yellin back at them with a counter argument, and when just one person is screaming, they'll begin to feel like a bit of a twat after a while, way I dealt with that problem was doin that and asking them how much they know about weed actually scientifically, not read from papers or jus plain hear say, but real medical papers that study its effects? the ansa will usually be no to which you can then offer a middle ground and ask them what they don't like about ganja, and shred it, but in a more matter of fact way than 'Hey mom get ure fuckin head out of papers' way. Good Luck with the next couple of weeks, ure gonna need a lot of ganj to keep chill, but just keep rememberin to stay calm as you said, 3 more years and ure gone seems like a long time, but it will come.

Ever sicne the party i had my parents havent minded bout me smokngi weed, as lngo as i dont bring friends home :D

Try talking to her about it... and if she keeps butting in all the damn time (like women do) or just walks off to do womany things (washing, cleaning, ironing, hoovering, cooking, etc) then write it all down and leave it on her bed. Dont write stuff like 'I do it cos I fucking enjoy it and you cant fucking stop me' etc etc, be polite. Also, try saying/writing that you did take a break from it for a while, tell her the differences in your moods in those two time periods. Oh, and something Id say if I was in your position - look, I wasnt stoned that time when you thought I was, and I find it very upsetting that you cant even trust your own son.
BTW, the womany jokes were my piss poor sense of humor. No, I havent had a girl in a long, long time. Lol. But Im not bothered - theyre more bloody trouble than theyre worth! :p

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Originally Posted by imagoober

do you know what she did with it?

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nope, she hasn't even said anything about it.....i doubt she will....
its probly already at the dump :(

oh well shit happens....ands its their house if they dont want a used bong in it.....i suppose thats fair enough

my computer has been taken out of my room now....put in the dining room....so when i got back today ive moved all my school work onto the table we eat at.....and there is a shitload of it......she has do deal with the consequences of her actions.....

Imagoober: did u turn out ok?

ah, fights with mom. I had them constantly from i was 16 till i moved out when i was 18. It was hell on earth. The first time my parents found out i smoked hash, they did not get mad. But 3 weeks later they found out i smoked siggies, and i was grounded for god knows how long.
Later, i was busted for smoking hash many time, and mom always freaked out. We were fighting all the time, and whatever i did wrong, the hash was always the reason. My dad is a bit more liberal, and he got in the middle of us. I feel really bad for him now, because my mom was a bitch, and i was a huge asshole.
Now my mom thinks i have stopped smoking hash, but my dad is a little smarter, he just dont care as long as i have a job and so on.
If she continues to search trough your stuff all the time, start to do the same with her stuff. And she will understand how it is to have no private life.

All i can say is, be glad your mom's not like the mom in this video

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/mean_mom.html

unless.. she is.. that'd suck