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Lol, okay so I was just thinking about this; what's something weird that someone you were messing around with has said at the completely most wrong time ever?
I was making out with a guy once and had some cherry lip gloss on and after we're done making out he looks at me and goes "Your lips smell good"
..what? MY LIPS SMELL GOOD?:o
your turn.:thumbsup:
"Oh, my God! I forgot to take my pill!!!"
aha this was recently
"What does penis taste like?"
and
"Is the paint on the wall chipping?"
...retarded guys I sleep with, I swear.
Yeah, my ex-g/f said what I said Saturday after we had sex, twice, for the first time in weeks. Actually, she added, "yesterday" after.
AHAHA I love what guys notice.
I'm trying to think of some other odd things.
one guy and I were laying down next to eachother after had sex and out of no where he was like "Can I trace your hand?"
I didn't understand that..
Jay decided to tell me he had a kid when we first started dating and was like dead serious about it.
He was just kidding though.
I think.
my wife said this.. while watching an american dad commercial (she's always telling me how much she likes my ass, cuz "it's all round and perfect") anyways, it shows the dudes ass and she's like "eww!" then he flexed and they went all bubble-butt like and she goes "that's like your ass!" but i wasn't paying attention to the commercial, all i heard was "EWW! THAT'S LIKE YOUR ASS!"
when some girls parents had box seats to bengals vs. steelers she had a huge football party i had mass alcohal and she grabbed my dick in her kitchen and lead me to her bed. we start gettin heavy and i tell her to take off her shirt. she does. and she starts grabbin my dick while were making out and i pull out a condom and rub it on her arm, still in package. and she says....im raggin.
and i woulda said some shit like "well i'm not now get to sucking."Quote:
Originally Posted by LISTEN2KMK
chick : "I USED TO BE A GUY" ? hahah. never happened but that would SUCK HUGE DONKEY DICK.
hey as they say when the red rivers a running take the dirt track, but wat a killer eh
Conceited girl: "Aren't I tight?"
Conceited guy: "No, just full."
Girl friend I had back when I was 18 looked at me right after I cum and said "Boy or a girl?" Be damned if she wasn't right! My first ex-wife!:smokin:
Oh yah, it was a boy!:thumbsup:
Couple of years ago I was @ a friend's family get-together... huge party.
I'm talking with this girl, everything is going fine. I ask her what school does she go to, and she says ABC - which was, the same school as my sister.
So, immediately I ask her (kind of excited) if she knows "Mary Turtle" (my sister, although I didn't say "she's my sister").
As soon as she hears "Mary Turtle", she tells me "AH! I hate that girl! She's a bitch... blah... blah..."
And I just started laughing my ass off... then my friend comes along, he asks what the hell happens - I was still laughing - and the girl rewinds for him the conversation...
Then my friend laughs out loud, and tells her: "You dumbass, Mary Turtle is his sister!"
LMFAOQuote:
Originally Posted by BabyFacedAbortion
hahahaha!!:D That turtle story is kinda funny..!:p
when i lost my virginity i told the girl it was overated haha
Went to a club with five women. Professional type women.
One of them who invited me said there is this woman who is really interested in you, ie (blind date). So I said, sure why not.
I only talked to this women, a Doctor, for less than two hours at the club.
While dancing close she says,
" I just want you to know up front that I want five childeren, but we can talk about that later after we get married"
Me thinking: WTF! (totally shocked by that statement).
I told her "You are moving waaaaay to fast for me"
She started to cry, (keep in mind this is a 38 year old professional woman, and she was not intoxicated).
She went back to the table where the other women were, crying her eyes out.
I dont know what she said to the other women when I was in the restroom, but when I came out and sat down they all had the look of "evil man" in their eyes.
So I up and left. Way too uncomfortable situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ganjasaurusrex
ok first of all... 5 fuckin children at 38?! does she want to like pop one out after another after another? second of all, that bitch was moving WAAAAAAYYYYY to fast... you did the right thing! definately!
This one time, the QVO were about ready to...uh...kill everyone in the house we (the Surenos) were partying in. I (the gentleman) get the job of protecting the 8 girls in a bathroom upstairs (It was a bathroom and a walk-in closet). So, I look outside, see all the guns and other weapons the QVO had (we had nothing)...So I sit down on the toilet and start having an emotional breakdown.
So, I'm paralyzed, and I hear this:
"OMG! I CAN'T DIE A VIRGIN"
"Bitch, calm down, you trippin' "
"NO! I CAN'T DIE A VIRGIN! Yo, Penguin!"
Me: "..."
"PENGUIN!"
"..."
Another girl: "I don't wanna die a virgin either..."
Both girls, in unison: "PENGUIN! WAKE THE FUCK UP!"
3rd girl gets up, makes eye contact with me, says: "You wanna fuck or not?"
Me: "..." *looks back down*
Girl sits down, tells the other two to forget it.
WHY DOES THIS SHIT HAVE TO HAPPEN WHEN I'M PARALYZED!?
so i was lyeing down next to this girl after sex and i look over at her in they eye and say:
"sorry for the crabs.... oh and the herps."
ok i made that up but it would be funny
If I was the girl, I'd proceed to cut off your balls.
I just remembered something funny
The 2nd guy I ever had sex with and I always joked about weird things to say just as your cumming or after you had sex to ruin the moment. After about 6 months of dating we finally have sex and about ten minutes after we have sex we're drinking and chilling naked and shit and he screams "SCOOBIE DOOBIE DOO!" and I'm like, what the fuck? He's like REMEMMMBERRRR.
I said something funny tonight that jay probably won't remember to post..
so if he doesn't I will.
right after look over and be like man that was even better then that time with the preist
i was 19 and fucking my neighbors mom who is 37.
she came over and we did our thing.
after we were done i felt weird.she was too old.nothing to talk about.
i didnt know how to get her to leave.
i asked her if she wanted to go for a walk to 7-11.
she said yes and when we got to the door i walked her outside then told her it would be better if she went by herself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyFacedAbortion
Jay's a member???
Is he Endo...Jay ???
SCOOBIE DOOBIE DOO!!!
lol
Friendowl the masta playa, as always...
Yeah! After a good time with a new gal at her place, she tells me that weâ??re made for each other. The only thing that might be a problem, she says, is that her husband is getting released from prison tomorrow - but heâ??ll just have to understand that itâ??s â??loveâ??.
I went out for a pack of cigarettes and that was the end of it!
BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
omfg lolQuote:
Originally Posted by pogmoasal1
i laughed so hard i hit my head.
the first time i had sex i was really drunk with this one chick. she was drunk as hell too. so 2 minutes in she pushes me off and says no i cant do this. She gets up and starts getting dressed, and im lying there stunned and pissed off. Shes really upset at this point, so like the nice guy i am i shout "if your gonna leave can u at least give me a handjob first?"
:pimp:
im an ass
later
"This is hard work!"
No need to mention he's now an EX-boyfriend.
i was making out with this guy and we were both stoned as fuck. so he has his tongue in my mouth just sitting there for what seems to be an hour and finally i realize and say, what are you doing. and he says. i dunno, just hanging out i guess. it was weird.
p.s. this is my 100th post!
i'd give a friend like 50 bucks if he'd do this....
go and stand infront of a urinal and act like you're pissing, til finally some guy comes in (has to be the meanest anti-gay looking person tho) and when he pulls it out and starts pissing, the friend turn and look downwards, towards the dick... then look straight in the guy's face and go "do you like to suck cock?"
I'd have to be paid at least enough to have my face fixed.Quote:
Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho
*lifts ice pack from jaw long enough to say...*
Where's my money, bitch!?
A while back I dated this total nympho. About 15 minutes into our first date she says "I like sex so much it scares most guys" Well, that set the stage for an exiting couple of months.
That should go under "Wonderful things that people say at the right time." :thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by Fengzi
I went out with a girl who talked with a Brooklyn accent, which was weird, because she lived in Kansas her whole life. But anyway, we were having anal sex, and she obviously wasn't into it. I ask her what was the matter, and she says "It hoits" I started laughing, and couldn't stop. Good weed, I guess.
i wish girls would say that to me :(Quote:
Originally Posted by Fengzi
LOL, everybody else quoted you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fengzi
I, just, want to know why you exited in a couple of months. Seems to me you might have stayed in there a little bit, but you spent the months exiting.
I'm busting, but you can never forget your "c". :smokin:
"It's hard to leave when you can't find the door"Quote:
Originally Posted by beachguy in thongs
LOL, I stand corrected. It was an exciting couple of months :p The thing is, she actually did scare me off. Every guy thinks he wants to date a girl like this but when I say she was a nympho I mean she was the textbook definition of nymphomaniac. Remember that "how kinky are you" test that was going around a while back. This girl would have been off the chart. I mean this wasn't a healthy understanding of her sexuality, she had some real issues.