Dating: Tough guys, nice guys, gentlemen

This little bit of advice will save you a lot pain when dealing with women.
Most guys dont know how to align themselves when dealing with miss right.

I will tell you a secret about the three of these personality types and why you only want to be one and why women find that only (one) type is the most attractive quality in a guy she is looking for.

What is a gentleman? First what is a toughguy/macho guy and why does this guy fail with women.

Imagine a spectrum line. To the far left is the toughguy/macho guy to the far right is the nice guy.

The toughguy/Macho guy will always fail with women just like the nice guy.
The problem with macho guy is he says the word "No" too often to his woman. He has been brainwashed by society. He somewhere heard that women dont like niceguys so he thinks, "OK I will be the opposite of nice". He may as well be this woman's prison gaurd. He misinterpreted the word "nice" and does just the opposite when nice really means to be an emotional challenge. He is not about SELF-Control which is one of the things women want, he is all about TOTAL CONTROL which no woman wants. He will have some sucess with women because in the beginning she misinterpreted his ability to say "no" as showing that he has backbone. She will leave him. When you think of a macho guy, think these words, DOMINEERING, CONTROLING, NON TRUSTING, SAYS "NO" TOO MUCH, INSECURE, DISRESPECTFULL TO WOMEN IN GENERAL, IS TYPICALLY A BLOCKER TO OTHER MEN. His not trusting attitude manifests itself into a self fulfilling prophecy with her. Combine this with his dumping off negativities on his woman as a one way emotional gas station and color her gone. We all know a macho guy. GUYS, NEVER EMULATE A TOUGH GUY SHE DOESNT WANT A TOUGH GUY. These guys are typically abusers of women. Prisons are filled with these guys. If he doesnt understand a woman, especially if she tests or uses "womanese" he gets frustrated and verbally or physically abuses the woman because he doesnt understand her language.

The nice guy. He's to the far right of the spectrum. The nice guy never says the word "no" to a woman. He's always too accomodating. He gives and gives and gives. He will fail with women. He doesnt get as far a macho guy does but ends up like him in the end, no woman. The nice guy doesnt understand the concepts of challenge and is probably scared to be a challenge to a woman. He thinks if she hears the word "no" she will leave. He
just says here I am, take me as I am. Nice guys dont abuse women, here its the other way around. Take the notion of the hen-pecked husband. He may as well be underdog saying "yes dear". After several failed relations as a nice guy he starts to think like the toughguy. "I will be the opposite of nice". Like macho guy he doesnt understand what "nice" actually means. So he too has transformed himself into something she doesnt want. What a vicous cycle.

Neither one of these types will change their ways until they have endured enough emotional PAIN from a woman. OUCH! How many years will these guys suffer before they understand this concept and change their ways?

The gentleman.

I dont know why when I think about the word gentleman an image of a guy from the 1930s with a black tux, a top hat and a cane come into my mind?
What is a gentleman? A gentleman is exactly what it says, Gentle-MAN. the gentleman falls right in the middle of the spectrum in between the nice guy and the tough guy.
The gentleman is a nice guy with a rough edge. He knows that saying the word "no" once in awhile when he really means it is the most important thing in his attitude and posture. When a gentleman does something for his woman and doesnt hear a "thank you" he politely lets her know it. Gentlemen look forward in dating to the first clash in the dating relationship, he knows he has to be ready for this test. He has to have the ability to not to take her back when she pulls a disrespect. He can say it without being mean,cruel or degrading to her. When you think of the word gentleman think: CONFIDENT, SECURE, SELF CONTROLLING, DOESN'T LET BLOCKERS GET TO HIM, (see post on blockers/helpers), CHALLENGING, RESPECTS WOMEN IN GENERAL. Opening the car door, holding the door open, pulling out her chair in a restaurant etc. are not veiwed as "too nice" traits by the woman. Being a Gentleman is never viewed by the woman as weak. You can still be a 240 lb linebacker and still be a gentlemen through your posture and composure.

EMULATE THE GENTLEMAN THIS IS WHAT SHE REALLY WANTS IN A MAN.

Do you think if men aligned themselves correctly that there would be:
a. fewer men in prison.
b. A lot less rejection of men by women ,(which leads to another set of
problems in a vicous cycle, i.e. marriage counsellors, men that withdrawl
all together, suicides, alcohol abuse, etc.)
c. successful relations for both.

Its important that we teach our younger brothers this,we teach our sons this, and we tell our buddys this when their stuck.


Past relevant posts,

Dating: Honesty and Openess.(this will open your eyes).
Asking a woman out the right way.
Dating: Blockers and helpers.(which one are you).


G'day gents and top hat off to ya, and....................Ill call ya! lol

thats a lot of words, way too many to read

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Originally Posted by redsoxfan49

thats a lot of words, way too many to read

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agree'd.
rough sex is hot.

Nice post, but fuck the game... Maybe I'll change, but at this point in my life I'm that guy that withdrew all together.

I'm not going to pretend to be some imaginary prince valiant that they all seem to think they can actually find.

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Originally Posted by Edgar

I'm not going to pretend to be some imaginary prince valiant that they all seem to think they can actually find.

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Here here! :thumbsup:

Thx for the advice, im buying a tuxedo right now

well said man well said.

i guess i am a genital man :D

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Originally Posted by lemonboy

Here here! :thumbsup:

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here here! :thumbsup:

Very well put! When I think of a gentleman, my husband is the first person to pop into my head. He tells me he loves me when he calls every day from work, he doesnt care what the other guys think. He holds doors, opens my car door, pulls out my chair for me, holds my coat, and shows affection in public, ( not so much people want to tell us to get a room ). I do get my way a lot, but when he says no, I back right the f*** down. Ken is fairly quiet and in 19 years hes only yelled back 5x tops. When he does yell, I STFU!
Too many women just dont know what they have till its gone and thats sad. Too many men are NOT gentlemen and I think most of us know that and we tend to shut down emotionally too. A true gentleman deserves a true gentlewoman as well.

Fantastic post. I have been both extreme nice guy and extreme macho guy, but now I have a healthy balance as a true Gentleman.

Umm, I'm not tryin to be offensive, but dude, why are you going totry to post on HERE what kind of girl a guy should match himself up with??? Thats pretty dumb. Becuase it doesnt matter if your dating a good boy or a bad boy, some people like'em good and some bad. What I'm tryin to say is, is that I know a girl and she's dating one of my good friends and she's a little goody goody prep. They've been together for years and he's never cheated on her or nothin. I also have a really good friend whos a bad boy and he's dating a bad girl. JUst goes to show that it doesnt matter how you act becuase your attracted to they personality, wether it be good or bad

but I go with the bad boys myself ;)

It doesn't matter what style u are. As long as you are confident, and avoid the things women hate, you will be fine

1. Nerd (Socially Uneducated)
2. Mommy's Boy
3. Insecure
Doing things just to get attention
Cannot maintain eye contact
Nervous fidgety body language
Emotional
Talking negatively about past girlfriends
Hanging on to a women, or kissing their ass and asking for permission to do things
Not being in control in general


Personally, being funny and cocky worked best for me though, but it doesn't matter what style you are,, as long as you don't do #1,2,3 you will be well off. Input from women? Don't you hate #1,2,3?

I think the key is not style, it is acting secure of yourself, and not acting like that one girl is the most important thing in the world. If you become the selectee, not the selected, then it will help you. Once you realize that there are many girls out there and they want a man in control of themselves when they interact with the man, then things will change. There are too many nice guys out there for hot women, ... every guy acts nice to them. A gentleman is styled, but a gentleman should not be insecure, he should be cocky and funny? At the same time, thats how he portrays higher class and how he is more carefree than the others, never hang on to any individual ...

Yeah, and do what works. Remember, #1,2,3 doesn't work. Trust me, when I say this. I learned that from a girl-friend we were like best of friends and she helped me tremendously in terms of what women want, so believe it or not.

yea guys should for sure be in control. not like where he's the king or whatever but he should be you know the MAN.

I know some dominant women who like pussy men, and submissive women, but let me tell you

That's not where you want to be, (tied to a tree and whipped)

Peace

I read all your replies. Im diggn the diversity of opinion! Thanks, I never stop learning!

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Originally Posted by maskedpantsman

rough sex is hot.

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Originally Posted by Ganjasaurusrex

I never stop learning!

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:eek:@!#

Well I'm an asshole!
I keep to myself till someone fucks with friends or family, then they are done!
I'll treat my woman good though, she puts up with ME!
Alot of people just don't get me and I don't care.
I tune out in public and just ignore everyone except my woman.
People tend to leave me be, LOL
It might be the tats though?
I never had a problem with women, they like bad boys just fine.
I would keep my bike slightly outta tune.
To be sure it was ready when we got home LOL
People are like puzzle pieces just cause 2 don't fit doesn't mean they are wrong.
They just don't fit together that's all.

U F

to tell you the truth, i used to be the nice guy...now im more of a gentleman, if you want a soda ill get it for you, but im NOT going to buy you a wedding cake while im at it

so girls are supposed to like gentleman?

well the new hip hop wave of gangstas is the extreme opposite right? yo gangsta i have a gun and im a bad guy

eh

yea I perfer bad boys lol

meh

im gonna become a gangsta

isnt it cool to break the laws? to be black? to have a gun?

yea. capitalism rules

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Originally Posted by mellow mood

so girls are supposed to like gentleman?

well the new hip hop wave of gangstas is the extreme opposite right? yo gangsta i have a gun and im a bad guy

eh

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ahh fuck "gangsta" lol give me a rough guy in some beat up jeans and a metal shirt with a guitar in his hands, guys that play instruments and just way hotter than you think. It's a big turn on for me I know ;)

i was sarcastic baby

actually im a guitar player, i have few metal shirts, but most are hendrix, pink floyd shirts

and i have jeans too :D

where do u live :)

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Originally Posted by mellow mood

i was sarcastic baby

actually im a guitar player, i have few metal shirts, but most are hendrix, pink floyd shirts

and i have jeans too :D

where do u live :)

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your just my kind of guy. lol I live in Louisiana, man. rocks shirts count too ;) :cool:

yea but im more turnin hippie then a metal guy...

im like in the middle of both :)

HOLY SHIT i JUST MADE 1,300 POST!!! YAY!! :dance: loL I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE ANOTHER THREAD FOR THIS SO i GUESSED THIS WOULD BE PERFECT. LOL

HEY, hippy's are just as good ;) as long as you listen to metal or classic rock. lol I'm like 3/4 metalhead and 1/4 hippy :D ;)

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Originally Posted by mellow mood

yea but im more turnin hippie then a metal guy...

im like in the middle of both :)

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-COUGH-

im listening to every kind of music or almost

rock, old rock, old metal, blues, blues-rock, classical, jazz, reggae, ska, flamenco, spanish, bossa-nova, psychedelic, progressive, few good rap groups

i may forget one or two :)

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Originally Posted by mellow mood

im listening to every kind of music or almost

rock, old rock, old metal, blues, blues-rock, classical, jazz, reggae, ska, flamenco, spanish, bossa-nova, psychedelic, progressive, few good rap groups

i may forget one or two :)

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holy shit your just like me :eek: I listen to rock, classic rock, new metal, old metal (preference) blues, jazz, blues-rock, reggae, psychedelic, some rap and very very little R&B.

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Originally Posted by heavymetal101

yea I perfer bad boys lol

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im bad to the bone.

so you got the gentleman, the macho man and the nice guy but what about the sociopath?

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Originally Posted by heavymetal101

yea I perfer bad boys lol

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See thats so fucked up. Why in hell do you like bad boys?? All they do is beat up and prey on those weaker than them. Those who like bad boys are stupid bitches. In the middle is what they should like. By the way the hip-hop generation is bull shit all these wiggers and wigger loving bitches are starting to piss me off. Also heavy metal sucks big time. Trance kicks ass. When will you stupid bitches learn.
:confused:

I hate the game. The game is for idiots, I dont want a girl who falls for the the game because any relationship that comes out of it is going to suck in the long run. I prefer to let the women find me, and if they like me then i show them what a real man is like. Calm, respectful but not a doormat.

The thing is women are not as smart as men, I've NEVER met a chick as smart as me (well i should say smart in the same way as me because everyone is smart in a different field).

oh and also here is the phrase that hopefully will make the most sense.........act like you're superior to a girl and stil be nice to her and she will fall in love with you, the reason is because how is she going to know that you're not better than her? there is no way for her to tell, basicly she doesnt know any better....so use that and go pick up some women.

I quit playing games a long time ago. It's really quite pathetic if you think about it. Bad boy, nice guy, gentelman . .. putting on a front to impress. You are who you are, just be, and you'll attract what suits you best in the end.

That's been my experience, anyway. I'm an odd sort of guy, and fit in no catagory as far as I know, but I like the loons! ;)

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Originally Posted by God v2.0

I hate the game. The game is for idiots, I dont want a girl who falls for the the game because any relationship that comes out of it is going to suck in the long run. I prefer to let the women find me, and if they like me then i show them what a real man is like. Calm, respectful but not a doormat.

The thing is women are not as smart as men, I've NEVER met a chick as smart as me (well i should say smart in the same way as me because everyone is smart in a different field).

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Women are not as smart as men? Sexist much? :mad: Trust me on this: if you really feel this way? There is a whole mass amount of females out here that are smarter than you. ;)

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Originally Posted by Naamah

Women are not as smart as men? Sexist much? :mad: Trust me on this: if you really feel this way? There is a whole mass amount of females out here that are smarter than you. ;)

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Nah believe me most women are pretty stupid when it comes to picking their guys. I can't go through a single day without seeing a girl with a guy and thinking "she likes this dude....wtf".

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Originally Posted by hank

It doesn't matter what style u are. As long as you are confident, and avoid the things women hate, you will be fine

1. Nerd (Socially Uneducated)
2. Mommy's Boy
3. Insecure
Doing things just to get attention
Cannot maintain eye contact
Nervous fidgety body language
Emotional
Talking negatively about past girlfriends
Hanging on to a women, or kissing their ass and asking for permission to do things
Not being in control in general


Personally, being funny and cocky worked best for me though, but it doesn't matter what style you are,, as long as you don't do #1,2,3 you will be well off. Input from women? Don't you hate #1,2,3?

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For me as a woman...your right on target...but just make sure repect is there also...and I prefer gentlemen.I detest bullies and mentally weak men..I like my husband in control and he has the final say but he treats me like a lady and with respect.