asking a woman out the right way

She weighs 116lbs. and you weigh 180 lbs. plus you have more muscles, (hopefully!) From the outside, it would appear that the advantage is yours, but in reality she is the stronger of the species when it comes to love. Why? Because she cheats! She uses psychological tactics and stratagies that are foreign to rational, logically thinking men.

The main problem with men is not that they dominate, but that they are dominated. All the talk shows, all the articles in the women's magazine, and all the self-help books try, ironically, to empower women when they already have the upper hand when it comes to dating. When it comes to the war between the sexes women have m-16s and men have bb guns.

Women also have a second language called womanese which is meant to confuse men when it comes to relationships. See if this sounds familiar.

"We are not the same type". That is womanese for, "You are not rich".

"But I love him". That is womanese for, "He can run me over with a car and I would say "It was an accident".

"Its late". That is womanese for, "We arent going to bed together".

"lets just see where it goes", That is womanese for "It aint going nowhere".

"I like sensitive guys", That is womanese for "I like to dominate men".

"No rush", That is womanese for "It will never happen"

"Looks arent important". Thats womanese for "Looks are important".

"Money isnt important" Thats womanese for "Money is important and thats why I brought it up".

"Where is this going" That is womanese for "when are we going to get married".

"Im tired of games". That is womanese for "The next male body who comes along will get lucky"

"Your nice". That is womanese for "Your not an emotional challenge".

"l'll think about it". That is womanese for "Not if we were stranded on a desert island".

"Our values have changed". That is womanese for "I am dumping you because I cannot change you, you moron.

"I dont go out with guys that make less than I do". That is womanese for, " Now I know what a rich man goes through".

"we grew apart", That is womanese for "He forgot about romance and affection".

"sleeping together", That is womanese for "not sleeeping together".

"I have nothing to wear" That is womanese for "I have 3 closets full of clothes"

"I cannot figure you out" That is womanese for "You, being a challenge are raising my interest level".

He played games", That is womanese for, "I am structured and have no sense of humor"

"We broke up", That is womanese for, "I dumped him".



Ok. you get the idea. Now lets look at what a woman is looking for in a man.

Women are looking for three male strength qualities in a guy. It is important that these qualities be shown by doing certain things even before asking her out.

These qualities are:

A. CONFIDENCE, (Comprised of SELF-CONFIDENCE and SELF-ESTEEM).
B. CONTROL (as in SELF CONTROL, PATIENCE and DISIPLINE).
C. CHALLENGE.

Provided you have passed the physical appearance test,
If something is going wrong it is because of one or more of these three things.

So how does a guy show these strength qualities?

Confidence is shown by asking her for the phone number directly. When you get it you NEVER, EVER say "Ill call you". This is a subtle yet powerful thing to keep her WONDERING if you will or not, the idea is to increase DOUBT whenever possible of where she stands with you. Just say, "Thanks". Too much hope kills doubt. Doubt is a good thing in small quantities. Foster a little doubt whenever possible. BE THE FIRST TO END THE CONVERSATION AND BE THE FIRST TO DEPART after getting the number.

Challenge is shown by not being readily available. YOU ARE NEVER AVAILABLE TO GO OUT ON FRIDAY OR SATURDAY NIGHT FOR SEVERAL WEEKS INTO DATING. She doesnt have to know you are at home cleaning out your sock drawer on Saturday night. Rest assured that you planted a seed in her head and she will be WONDERING. "Why hasnt he called like the rest of the guys", "when is he going to call", "who is he out with on the weekend". Women love to wonder in this way. You kill it when you offer reasurances. Never fall into this trap.

Most guys call back within two days predictably. WHEN YOU DO CALL HER FOR THE FIRST TIME WAIT 5-9 DAYS BEFORE CALLING. She will probably act a little miffed, but this is good, I dont remember saying you would call did you? She cant verbalize it but senses something is different this time. GOOD! Its about time the shoe is on the other foot this time. She cant reject you anymore than she can stand up and sit down at the same time.

NEVER ASK A WOMAN: "Would you like to go out"?, "Are you busy this weekend"?,"Do you have a boyfriend"(they all have boyfriends), "Do you think we could get together this weekend if you aren't busy"?

TRANSLATION: WEAK AND MEAK. A man who is Confident is direct and and doesnt throw the ball back in her court. A Confident man has a definite plan consisting of the day, time and place. He also has a back up plan if for example that restaraunt doesnt work out. He usually checks things out a head of time. How long it takes to get for here to there, etc.

When you call her note the following: YOU DO NOT TALK ON AN ANSWERING MACHINE. PERIOD. An answering machine is a tool that women use against us, so is having someone else intercept the call for her. Dont fall for anything except talking directly to her on the phone . YOU NEVER ASK, "So what do you want to do". You show no confidence. You find out for example she likes Italian food. So, you say, "Jane I would like to take you out to an Italian restaurant at 7pm on Wednesday would you like to join me". (very direct question which requires a direct answer), There should be no other conversation that is going to drag on. You wing the question just like you are commenting on the color of the sky, it comes out that easily. Keep it short, be direct and have a plan so she doesnt even have to think. Remember she may counter and say, " I can only go out Friday or Saturday". Dont fall for that, your being tested. Remember you are only available MON-THURS for several weeks into dating, sorry! Its important to mean what you say here. Keep her wondering and build mystery this is something she never gets enough of. Give her assurances like she is wanting from you and you will blow it. Give her what she needs not what she says she needs. Confusion is her game. Challenge is ours.

Dressing good, being well groomed, being polite yet having the ability to tell her "no" as early as possible are also very important. Beautiful women need to hear the word "no" from a man more than anything. Women in general need to hear you say "no" once in a while when you really mean it and that you will walk if pushed hard enough.Its called backbone. She needs to know that when she pushes that it you wont turn into mush. You do not put up with put-downs against you or your gender, "Men" Its called not being accomodating, which also means having an opinion of your own. Call her on the carpet when you are tested with respect. "whoa" or "hey" are a couple of words to put the brakes on to let her know that you are someone to be respected and that respect is a two way street. Unfortunatly even the nicest people push the boundries of respect so be prepared for this ahead of time.

Do not give flowers, gifts, chocolate etc. while dating. It has only negative association when you give "things" because you are making her feel obligated from the start which is uncomfortable for her. You will also kill the notion of challenge at the same time. So no giving of "things" early on.

Keep in mind that you think that restaurants are for eating, which they are, but be forewarned it is also her favorite place to ask you test questions. She will see if she can ask you questions and then see if you continue to talk about yourself and your accomplishments. So when she throws a zinger at you, "So when was your last relationship", She is looking for reactions here so watch out and be ready for the test questions.

When she asks you a general question, take that as a clue to shift back and ask her questions about herself. Throw off her agenda and balance with your questions. Word your questions so they cant be just yes or no type answers in return. Try to draw out feelings or opinions on things.

Another thing to do is to give a compliment followed by a question. For example, " I like your dress, do you get lots of compliments on it? This is a good way to draw her out if she isnt very talkitive.
No more than 2 compliments for the evening though. Complimenting is an art of studying her to find her unexpected hidden virtures and this takes more time than just one date. So intially only light compliments that dont involve the body. Complimenting is delicate. Too many compliments and you appear desperate. You let the little you give go along way here. So keep it light. While talking to her for some time if you notice that she is articulate, tell her so. She may have heard a hundred compliments on the hair or eyes but I doubt she has heard one in which the person must study her personality more deeply. Well chosen compliments should be spoken as if you are throwing a frisbee, no hessitation. COMPLIMENTING IS ALWAYS GIVEN WITH THE IDEA THAT NOTHING IS EXPECTED IN RETURN. YOU ARE THE TYPE OF GUY WHO CAN COMPLIMENT AND WALK AWAY. Wondering what you said is powerful when you not available at the time.

Listening. A powerful tool. Not just listening, but reflective listening is key to inducing emotional dependence. If you can listen to her talk and you can put aside your own internal business for a time and just contain those thoughts and verbalize what she has just told you in a summation of your own words, those thoughts and feelings, she will feel like you are reading her mind. Its as if there is a glass jar in your mind and all of what she has said goes into the jar. It is now contained. Now, overall find the phrases which best describe the ideas, thoughts and feelings in the jar in your own words and tell her.

The overall conversation is always light and fun. No negative talk period about past relations, catastrophies, terror, news etc. You never probe to find if she likes you. As long as you practice, Challenge, Control and Confidence youll be ok. Never let her draw you into a conversation about past girlfriends. The only thing you have to say here is, "They were all good women". Always steer back to that notion and change the subject. She is testing your trust. Will you talk about her in the future to another girl? You see where I am going.

A word about jealousy and possessiveness. This is a huge turnoff for women. When your out on a date and some guy is standing too close to the girl your with on purpose dont ever show these traits as much as you would love to put a chair over the guys head. When a guy is looking at the girl you are with take it as a compliment to your good tastes. Never let her see you get possessive or jealous, you might even be tested by her on these notions in some social circumstances. "Shes free to walk" is what you must tell yourself, this will manifest itself into confidence and challenge which is what she wants. Its all about posture and composure.

When your on the date you practice the art of control. What is control? Its not controlling her. Its controlling yourself. You do not talk about sex on the date, you do not touch her, you do not kiss her. Why? you just planted another seed my friend. She will be wondering to herself, "Why hasn't this guy put his hands all over me like the other guys". SHE WILL BE WONDERING, that is what you want out of this date. She will see you as a gentle-MAN. Ironically she will want to touch you more because of it. If sHe touches you, touch her, but less than she has to you and pull back.

(Remember miss kitty), you manhandle kitty with too much petting and kitty scratches you and runs away. You touch kitty a little and pull back and kitty wants more. HMMMM. Women love to wonder and be teased as seen through their eyes not yours.

When you take her back home, open her door like a gentle-MAN, walk her to the door and say, "Thanks for the nice evening", WITH BODY LANGUAGE YOU EXUDE THE NOTION THAT YOU ARE LEAVING, (quickly take a glance at your watch). Keep it short and YOU be the first to leave and officially end the date. DONT STAND THERE AND WAIT TO BE INVITED IN, WAIT FOR A HUG, WAIT FOR A KISS, DONT WAIT AROUND. YOU, IN YOUR MIND HAVE THINGS TO DO RIGHT NOW. EVEN IF SHE INVITES YOU IN, POLITEFULLY DECLINE AND DEPART.YOU DIMINISH YOURSELF BY THE SECOND HANGING OUT AT THE FRONT DOOR. AND ONCE AGAIN DONT SAY "I'll call you". EVEN IF SHE SAYS CALL ME. DONT CONFIRM THAT YOU WILL. say, "see ya". DONT MAKE ANOTHER DATE AT ANYTIME WHILE YOU ARE ON THE FIRST DATE. Let her think about you while your absent. Let her wonder why you did not ask for a second date, (challenge/control/confidence). Wait another 5-9 days to call, the longer the better.

Wait until you have dated for several months before showing her affection. It is alot like compliments. A little goes a long way and your absense makes her wonder. Too much and you need to pull way back not do more of.

Some men feel that the woman will get the impression that maybe you dont like her. Good! I say that when she is not sure of herself , (she has always been sure of herself in the past), she will go crazy and will like you more. Think about it. Here is someone that understands men and now she is confused. Isnt this great!








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that's is a lot of fucking text, but it's pretty interesting
Though I must say, I don't know where you're from, but where I'm from there isn't such a fus about dealing with opposite gender.
But I'll use your advice if I see an opportunity :)

i actually learned something.

I'm glad ya'll could generalize women like that ;)

He didn't "generalize" any more than the average woman generalizes about men.

That piece contains excellent advice, and any guy who follows those tips will be better off.

You can say what you want about the French, and there are a lot of things wrong with them, but they understand this stuff.

Read it and learn from it. I've lived that way, for the most part, and I have no regrets

Bad breath, Frogs and ugly people

Wow, I'm very impressed. Great advice. Months 'til affection, though? Seems a bit excessive.

Most of that sounded alright, and I would be interested in a guy who acted like that, but the waiting 5-9 days to call, and the "months" till affection would have me saying "bye-bye".

After all, if you're so busy you can't call me for nine days after taking my number, or taking me on a date, I guess you can't blame me for having to entertain myself.

Waiting months till you show affection is just stupid though. I'm not asking for non-stop hugs and kisses; in fact, I hate that. Simple affection like brushing my hair out of my eyes, or holding my hand, is a -good- thing though!

Remember, the only amount of power a girl has over you is the power you give her

Hot girls are like cats

If there are two people in the room, with a cat, then the cat will go for the one that shows less attention to the cat

Why? Because all hot girls are used to is being hit on, and getting all the attention... a little reverse psychology here

For instance, if there are two women sitting together and one of them is a 10, and one of them is an 8, then first hit on the 8, ignore the 10 and then subtly reject the 10... that sort of shows that u are in control, and you are the selectee... too many times is the women the selectee of the mate in our society,

plus, ive heard from numerous girls that they are sick and tired of guy's buying them drinks, or kissing up to them, they say i'm hot probably because they can't control me... so be yourself

Hope that helps to all u fellow guy stoners,

lol, hot girls are like cats

wow thanks hank, you're amazing. thats totaly true.

Just remember. We DO have the physical advantage. If she gets too far outta line...

but what if it's instant attraction and you fuck like rabbits?? do i skip all the stuff you said ganjasaurausex?? please let me know :rolleyes:

emg, there is a 300% chance shes a slut, whore and/or tranny.

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Just remember. We DO have the physical advantage. If she gets too far outta line...

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LOL

[QUOTE=sharpezor]emg, there is a 300% chance shes a slut, whore or tranny.

LOL, true...i'm just sayin

:dance:

seriously though, the only time i would even consider hitting a woman is if she wanted me to ;)

OR

shes comming at me with a knife or something of the such.

or if the bitch is a mammoth...if she's bigger than me and she's coming, i'm gonna attack

this does not take into consideration the individuality and personality of any particular woman. This advice would not work on me at all. If you act disinterested, I will assume you are disinterested. If I don't get presents I assume you do not value me or think about me when I am gone from you. If I don't get compliments I assume it is because you don't find anything about me you admire. If all I get is vaguaries about when we are going to hang out, see one another again or when you will call I assume you don't want to make a commitment to even call me at a certain time and would definately not want a relationship commitment.
You should say no and stand up for yourself but you should do it about something that is real, and not make something up in the beginning just to show your muscle off.

In return, I compliment heavily, I buy presents for my man, I'm very specific about what I want and when I will call you, I keep every promise I make unless I am dying or sick, I will let you say no and be ornery all you want and not say a word to you because I'm too polite, but in my mind I'm calling you a jackass.

In short, I don't play fucking games and I damn sure don't like them played out on me.
If your chick is smart, don't try this tactic because you will piss her off mightily.

oh yeah, and the womanese translations where total cliche bullshit, putting those first really helped me to see how misogynistic this post was.

so much information! i gotta take some notes. thanks for the advice.

amazing. thank you and i learned something

much like scarlett, though. i also don't like to play games.

i duno whats up scarlets ass but that was brilliant. did you write it yourself? i know most of that stuff already, my dads been tellin me since like 5th grade taht the nicer you are to chicks the more u get trampled on lol. he says "dont be like other guys, tha way they have to work to impress you" and its gotten me more poon than i can handle. good advice.

nothing is up my ass at the moment.

I think this advice would work really well if you are dealing with a spoiled girl who doesn't know what she wants and is used to getting whatever she is in the mood for.

I'm not one.

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I think this advice would work really well if you are dealing with a spoiled girl who doesn't know what she wants and is used to getting whatever she is in the mood for.

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most HOT girls are that way.

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Originally Posted by ScarlettCrush

nothing is up my ass at the moment.I think this advice would work really well if you are dealing with a spoiled girl who doesn't know what she wants and is used to getting whatever she is in the mood for.I'm not one.

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If more women and girls were like you, then the general advice in the orignal posting would not be necessary.

It's not a question of following the guy's advice to the letter, but just thinking of it as a guide to getting around in today's very complicated types of relationships without getting burned, or burning someone else. Everybody can come up with their own ways of improving themseves, if they want to. I was impressed because he's NOT advancing lines and techniques for men to get laid faster and/or more frequently. It's more of a throwback to the "courting" of the past. Young people have no social structure for dating anymore, and that is not good for everyone We don't have to go back to chaperones, lol,

Many of these suggestions are just hints at encouraging boys to become men be more diciplined by better controlling their "natural" instincts - which are not very civilized, at the very least. It may not be for us, but a lot of boys and girls would be better off to tone it down a bit and take things more conservativly - at least until they get to know each other well.

It wasn't very long ago that most marriages and courtships in America were "arranged" - and this still goes on in much of the world today. I'm not knocking it - it has it's good points, but to go beyond it requires maturity and experience.

I like old fashioned courting and maybe this technique would have worked on me if not for the "never let her trust you by giving her confirmation you will call or indication that you like her" type stuff and the womanese things in the beginning.

I need to know I am with a man of integrity that will keep his word to me. Therefore it's important to tell me you will call me at such time, pick me up at such time and then do those things.
I need to know the person I am with likes me so it is important to compliment me all times and get me things sometimes.

I think those parts of the article are wrong.
I'm also kind of crabby today so if I am having attitude in my writing forgive me it isn't on purpose.

so are you saying totaly pussys and real men have an equal chance with you

lol, no one really has a chance now. :p
I am not accepting any new suitors.
I have a real man. *swoon*

......i mean hypothetically

hypothetically, I could not date a pussy because men are so much more interesting with an opinion and a spine.

so why where you arguing with what the first guy said? you proved his point totally :( ?

correct me if im wrong

if advice had been..

be honest
grow a spine
be interesting

that would be ok
advice was
manipulate her
don't commit
keep her guessing about you

that's kind of fucked up to me.

Acting, which is the fine art of camouflaging through confusion, is her favorite ploy. She could teach the cameleon a trick or two!!!( I mean that with a sense of humor/banter).

Men were not born with the ability to conceal their true "honest and open" feelings for a woman. Women on the other hand can change their feelings from one moment to the next. Listen Physcology students this means she can be Joan of arc one moment and Julia Roberts the next, without batting those long eyelashes!!!

The key is to read her ACTIONs toward you and under no circumstances take "changing colors" personally.

Handling each interaction with a woman during dating by testing through challenge makes her reveal her true feelings toward you. She will use less "womanese" the more she starts to like you. In other words she will make it more easy for you to interact with her. Im not saying that womanese is a constant second language,nor is it a bad thing, but it is used the most in the initial stages of dating.

I have had at least 50 women tell me that if I wait 5-9 days to call she would not like that and would tell me something to the effect, "Next time you get a womans phone number you shouldnt wait so long to call her, GOODBYE." That is the response when you ask them however. The reality factor says otherwise.

Gents this is our litmus test. It forces women to reveal their feelings toward you early. I say if you call on day 7 and she says, "Dave who" she wasnt interested in the first place. Just say, "I must have the wrong number goodbye" Throw the number in the nearest trash can. Wasnt that easy? But that wont happen if you do the right thing from the start.

YOu know what? Dont let your ego think she will forget about you in 5-9 days if she likes you. This is another situation where self-control is very important. Now if you do what I told you and the very minute you ask for the phone number you assess her body language by TONE OF VOICE, INFLECTION OF VOICE AND HER ENTHUSIAM toward you, you will KNOW where you stand. If all of these are a go and you wait 5-9 days to call she will not forget you trust me, she will anticipate, she will wonder, and sensing why no other guy has done this to her before will raise her INTEREST LEVEL. That is what you both want isnt it?

Certainly if you wait past 9 days it is rude and she has the right to decline.Understandably so. If you call within two days in her eyes you are predictable and hungry therefore boring. This is not about manipulating women at all. Im fair to both sides and you know that.

Let me test your knowledge guys?

Its the third date. Shes steppin up the tests for you. Are you ready?

She asks to borrow 5 bucks on Friday she says, "I'll pay you back on Monday".
You see her on Monday and she doesnt bring up the subject. (trust me she hasnt forgot).
Tuesday comes and she still doesnt bring it up. Your thinking, "well its just 5 bucks no big deal". It is a big deal guys. What is she testing?

She didnt need the money in the first place. She was testing your ATTITUDE TOWARD MONEY and YOUR ABILITY TO KEEP A COMMITTMENT.

What do you say? PLAYFULLY BRING IT UP at the committment time preferably and have some fun with it. Dont be mean about it. Just the fact that you called her on it is the important thing.

I wont acuse any women that testing is manipulation because its not, I know that. Its her way of finding out what your values are, the limits of those values and who you are as a man without asking it directly. Its not wrong. Dont take it that way. Just be aware of testing ahead of time.

Many guys dont understand women, I personally think that this leads to frustrastion because men dont understand simple concepts like testing and womanese which leads to anger and it should never be that way. Learning these things are not unmanly they are crucial to relating with women.

I Love women and want to see you guys love them also in a way in which your both happy.

lmao, ur a fukn idiot dude. just gotta be cool n eventually there will be a point where both of u wanna fukk. if for commitment stick with it. ur overthinking all this way too much. we're all animals that wanna fukk, thats it, ur letting the worst of ur brain get the best of you, dumbass.