I have terrible news. =(

On the evening of Wednesday, October 19th, 2005, I, the one seen posting on these boards as "Caruso329" had to execute four baby girls dressed in green. They were 8 days old.. tiny little things of beauty and innocence. They were ripped from their mother's grasp and drowned in a pool of waste, left to rot in the city's sewers.

To be honest I am quite stoned right now. Baked as a cake. High as a kite. Roasted like a Thanksgiving turkey. Toasted like a marshmallow.

And seriously, if you didn't catch that metaphor I had to kill my plants. 5 of them to be exact. Jessica, Rachel, Scarlett, Sharen (those two named after our very own ScarlettCrush), and Lucky. Ripped them out of the soil and flushed'em down the toilet.

Yep. It sucks. Ah fuck, who am I kidding, it fucking blows the baboon's bollocks. It is awful. I am quite sad, but I think I'll get over it. Yep, over it. .:tear:.
[align=center]
So say a Prayer, and Light a bowl,
and Toke with me, and Remember their Souls.
For to canna-heaven do they go,
and float away to that heavenly bowl.
So light up my friends,
they would've wanted it that way.
[/align]

[align=right]~Caruso329 ":cool:[/align]

oh no, why'd you have to kill them?

I dont get it.....




who did u rape?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Caruso329

On the evening of Wednesday, October 19th, 2005, I, the one seen posting on these boards as "Caruso329" had to execute four baby girls dressed in green. They were 8 days old.. tiny little things of beauty and innocence. They were ripped from their mother's grasp and drowned in a pool of waste, left to rot in the city's sewers.

To be honest I am quite stoned right now. Baked as a cake. High as a kite. Roasted like a Thanksgiving turkey. Toasted like a marshmallow.

And seriously, if you didn't catch that metaphor I had to kill my plants. 5 of them to be exact. Jessica, Rachel, Scarlett, Sharen (those two named after our very own ScarlettCrush), and Lucky. Ripped them out of the soil and flushed'em down the toilet.

Yep. It sucks. Ah fuck, who am I kidding, it fucking blows the baboon's bollocks. It is awful. I am quite sad, but I think I'll get over it. Yep, over it. .:tear:.
[align=center]
So say a Prayer, and Light a bowl,
and Toke with me, and Remember their Souls.
For to canna-heaven do they go,
and float away to that heavenly bowl.
So light up my friends,
they would've wanted it that way.
[/align]

[align=right]~Caruso329 ":cool:[/align]

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LMAO Im sorry I know that wasnt supposed to be funny, but the way you worded it I shot my OJ out my nose laughin at it :confused:

I had to set qua-trillions of people on fire, about 4 minutes ago.

That's my metaphor for burning Oxygen molecules, out of the air, when I lit my lighter.

lol we're all fucking crunchy :D

Cruncy sounds like country.

yesterday...i had to send 837 men to their doom...why???cause i am death....

dont try to play god man...those plants didnt have to die...

Plant abuser!

I'm called the Marijuana International Domestic Official Trading NonTaxable NonProfit Growers of America Church on you. MIDOTNTNGAC mofo!

Okay, I've got answers to all of these but I'll take them in order of simplicity for sake of readability.

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Originally Posted by HeLTeR.SKeLTeR

I dont get it.....




who did u rape?

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I did not rape, harm, hurt, kill, molest, or commit crime again any human being or animal. I flushed "tomato" plants down the toilet.

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Originally Posted by Ammie

LMAO Im sorry I know that wasnt supposed to be funny, but the way you worded it I shot my OJ out my nose laughin at it :confused:

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I thought writing it with a touch of satire would spice it up a bit and make for a more enjoyable read. Glad you liked it.

<hr>

And now.. for the big one..

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Originally Posted by MyAntiDrugIsAmy

oh no, why'd you have to kill them?

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It's a long story. It was last Monday. I was going over to a good mate's of mine abode (that mean's home) with a sack of oregano. He was making ravioli. He always makes ravioli on Mondays, I always bring the oregano. I figured the best way to bring it was a trusty zip-lock bag, so I measured it out and sealed it up. In to my pocket it went. I cranked up my dusty blue '78 Camaro and listened to the 454 roaring out the hood. I always thought that impressed the ladies. I don't think it does but I like to pretend sometimes. Now was one of them times. I opened my glove compartment, put the herb in, shut it and locked it tighter than Fort Knox. I peeled out of my driveway and headed over to my mate's like a bat out of Hell (or maybe a banshee... a screaming one..). I pulled up to my mate's house, but something was different this time. Instead of me parking and going inside for a sit-down, I see me mate running out in his boxer's. What the fuck is this fucker doing? I'm thinking. He comes up and shakes my hand and hands me the bread he cooked Friday. He always cooks bread on Friday. I shut off my ride and open the lock box and hand him his spice. And it must've been some fine oregano, probably imported from Italy. Italy sounds like a place where they would export oregano... yep... But like I was saying, it must've been some skunky spice because it brought the pigs as fast as rats will go to carrion.

To make a longer story short, the pig saw my herb and walked up to me. He nudged my knee and I knew he wanted to know what I had.

Well, I ain't doing no time for a fucking italian spice that goes great on pasta, poultry, and fish. So that's why I had to kill'em.

Now that makes sense!

wow you have a great way of putting things....when i'm stoned! that was cool, but sad story.

wow, caruso, are trying to say you echanged weed for crack?

Ammie, i'm calling you out!!!! Why is it that every time you read something funny you're drinking OJ, huh? Huh? Only joking, you know I love ya.

Caruso, i'm sorry man.. Truely sorry. :(

caruso are you on 420dating.com?

LOL Where were your plants? In your car.

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Originally Posted by king kong bong

caruso are you on 420dating.com?

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Haha yep.

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Originally Posted by flamingskullballs

yesterday...i had to send 837 men to their doom...why???cause i am death....

dont try to play god man...those plants didnt have to die...

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Hey flaming,

Stop being a poser and trying to be someone you're not. In other words, suck my dick.

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Originally Posted by Caruso329

Haha yep.

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Hey Caruso mate, sorry to hear that mate!!!

Hope something works out soon, did the cop bust you then? You kinda left a lot to the imagination.. hope you can grow oregano again soon, i love it on pizza! lol

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Caruso329

Hey flaming,

Stop being a poser and trying to be someone you're not. In other words, suck my dick.

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And he might just take you up on that offer;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Caruso329

It's a long story. It was last Monday. I was going over to a good mate's of mine abode (that mean's home) with a sack of oregano. He was making ravioli. He always makes ravioli on Mondays, I always bring the oregano. I figured the best way to bring it was a trusty zip-lock bag, so I measured it out and sealed it up. In to my pocket it went. I cranked up my dusty blue '78 Camaro and listened to the 454 roaring out the hood. I always thought that impressed the ladies. I don't think it does but I like to pretend sometimes. Now was one of them times. I opened my glove compartment, put the herb in, shut it and locked it tighter than Fort Knox. I peeled out of my driveway and headed over to my mate's like a bat out of Hell (or maybe a banshee... a screaming one..). I pulled up to my mate's house, but something was different this time. Instead of me parking and going inside for a sit-down, I see me mate running out in his boxer's. What the fuck is this fucker doing? I'm thinking. He comes up and shakes my hand and hands me the bread he cooked Friday. He always cooks bread on Friday. I shut off my ride and open the lock box and hand him his spice. And it must've been some fine oregano, probably imported from Italy. Italy sounds like a place where they would export oregano... yep... But like I was saying, it must've been some skunky spice because it brought the pigs as fast as rats will go to carrion.

To make a longer story short, the pig saw my herb and walked up to me. He nudged my knee and I knew he wanted to know what I had.

Well, I ain't doing no time for a fucking italian spice that goes great on pasta, poultry, and fish. So that's why I had to kill'em.

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..that...umm.. doesnt explain much. did you get cought with the weed? so you decided to flush the plants before the cops searched your property?

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Haha yep.

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haha yea you clicked on my profile..bewareofthedoubled.i was like wait,this name seems familiar.

I think I clicked on it cause you were a friend of some chick I was looking at and I thought you were a girl with double D's.. haha.

And I wasn't arrested or charged with anything, but the fucker did take my license and punched all my info into his computer, so my name is in the system and they now have probable cause to search my property. He let me off with a warning, probably going to wait, set up surveillance, and try to bust me later on a bigger deal. He did confiscate the herb, an 1/8, nothing major you would think, but any distribution charge in Georgia is a felony and a minimum of 5 years in a pound me in the ass prison, which I ain't planning on seeing the inside of.

caruso, your a weedafile! killing those babies so young, damm u man!lol

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Originally Posted by Caruso329

I think I clicked on it cause you were a friend of some chick I was looking at and I thought you were a girl with double D's.. haha.

And I wasn't arrested or charged with anything, but the fucker did take my license and punched all my info into his computer, so my name is in the system and they now have probable cause to search my property. He let me off with a warning, probably going to wait, set up surveillance, and try to bust me later on a bigger deal. He did confiscate the herb, an 1/8, nothing major you would think, but any distribution charge in Georgia is a felony and a minimum of 5 years in a pound me in the ass prison, which I ain't planning on seeing the inside of.

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Damn, sorry to hear this Caruso, you got off easy though.. hope you can finally grow that sweet sweet oregano again one day:D

One day.. somewhere.. over the rainbow.. ":cool:

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Originally Posted by Caruso329

One day.. somewhere.. over the rainbow.. ":cool:

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Face/Off comes to mind, good scene towards the end that is:D

so your "dining companion" informed the chef on you? Do you have any idea why? if you usually dine indoors and this time it was take out, he was obviously bacon'ed up no?

No my mate was not in on it, just we happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, right as the pig was driving by.

yeah, what luck for the breakfast meat, I seriously doubt if you will have any warrants at your house, he kept this one for himself, or else he would have had to arrest you if he called it in and such. Id steer clear of that neighborhood for awhile.

The sacred herb for should be grown everywhere and for free........

damn the tyrants who unleash such darkside upon humanity while we can't enjoy a sacared plant.

Damn the amn......

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Originally Posted by Caruso329

Hey flaming,

Stop being a poser and trying to be someone you're not. In other words, suck my dick.

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what did i do?

"flame on!!!!!!"