My friend and I have bad experiences with asian clerks..

I love quoting stupid funny things.
My friend and I always seem to have trouble with asian clerks while buying munchees. He'res a few quotes (See if you can add your own):

*At QFC*
Check lady: Paypa o plastic?
Me: Ok.
Check Lady: *Wierd look*
Friend: *dies*
Check Lady: You want paypa plastic??
Me: What?
Friend: Do you want paper or plastic? *keeps laughing*
Me: oh, plaster.. I mean plastic.

*At Texaco*
Clerk: wa fiddy.
Me: *Stares*
Clerk: Come on, wan fiddy!
Me: *Looks at friend*
Friend: *Dies*
Me: What do you want?
Friend: You have to pay for the food..
Me: Oh, how much is it?
Clerk: Iss dolla fiddy comon you holding up da line!
Me: O, Ok *Hands him a dollar*
Friend: *Dies*
Clerk: Fiddy cent!!
Me: Oh, yeah *Pays*
Clerk: Get outta here!

*At texaco again*
*I had already purchased food, my friend was next in line.*
Clerk: Fo tirty.
Friend: *hands debit card*
Clerk: No! Fye dolla minimum!
Friend: What?
Clerk: *Hella slow and loud* FYE DOLLA MINIMUM!
Friend: Are you serious?
Clerk: yes im sers. gotta ha fye dolla buy wit debit card
Friend: *Leaves store, leaving all the candy on the counter*

*At Chinese food stand*
Girl: Um, can I get the Pork Katsu please?
Clerk: *smiles* no.
*a couple seconds pass, the girl feels akward*
Clerk: O, no mo pork.

*At Restaurant*
Waitress: What you want to drink?
Friend: Can I get a orange soda?
Waitress: K want dat wit crush ice a norma ice?
Friend: I want an orange soda.

*At the 99 cents store*
Me: *takes white t-shirt up to counter*
Clerk: Fo nintey nine.
Me: What?
Clerk: Fo nintey nine.
Me: But this is a 99 cents store!
Clerk: The xtra large shirts fo nintey nine.
Me: Why is five dollars? This is a 99 cents store!
Clerk: Not fye dolla is fo nindy nine!
Me: Why are you selling this at a nintey nine cents store if it's four dollars?
Other Clerk: You want for dolla? *picks up random things like insence, lighters etc.* This dolla, this dolla..
Me: No, I want this shirt and I want it for a dollar! this is a dollar store!
Clerk: too bad. its fo nindy nine
Me: Fucking communists *walks out*

Lmao, hilarious stuff.

This was awhile back.. my friend was scared shitless the whole time. Clerk was Indian or something, though.

Me: Ay man how much is a pack of Liggets?
Clerk: -HEAVY Indian accent- You are underage how old are you?
Me: Nah I'm not gonna try to buy them. Just wanna know how much they are.
Clerk: Are you eighteen?
Me: No, how much are they.
Clerk: Well you are not eighteen you do not need to know how much they are.
Me: Some people are bitchessssssss (under my breath)
Clerk: NOT LIKE YOU!

Meanwhile my friend's lookin' like he's gonna shit his pants!!!

There is this Russian guy that works at the snack shop/gas station near my house and he always gives me trouble.

Me and my friend go to the shop to pick up munchies and drinks at a late hour (The store is open 24/7) and this is how it went.

Me: *Places a bag of chips, a small bottle of Canada Dry, and a single chocolate bar* (As you can see, not much munchies at all, really.)
The Russian Guy: *Stares*
Me and Friend: *Stares*
Russian: *Stares*
Me: *Places money on the table* Sir?
Russian: You guys been smoking pot?!
Me and Friend: *Stares* Me: Can we purchase these items?
Russian: *Sniffs around* It smells! (Me and my friend who had just finished a two pap are... in complete shock.)
Me: Sir, I don't know what you are talking about... can we pay for the chips and get out of your hair? Clearly, you are busy.
Russian: *Scans while staring* I know you've been smoking pot!
Me: You don't know shit.
Russian: Get out!

...

Friend: *Picks up a kit-kat bar* And this two please.

Then he got more pissed and told him to scan it himself and then my firned told him what an asshat he is then we left.

Another time I tried to buy a lighter at the shop... there was another person present at the time as well. The Russian ask me what my age was to be an asshole so I told him... he said I was underage and I couldn't buy a lighter. The other guy stood at the counter next to me in disbelief. WHO CAUSES PROBLEMS LIKE THIS? God, you'd have to be a moron. Anyways, he asks me why I need it... shit like "What is it dark outside to see?" And said yeah, it's pitch black out there. Then he leaned over and asked me "I scared you didn't I"? And I then started laughing... I just couldn't believe the nerve of that guy.

HAHAH THOSE CHINESE ONES HAD ME ROLLING!

This is a true story. I was in the bathroom at the Bubba Mac Shack. (restaurant)

I'm in the bathroom taking a piss and this old guy comes and stand next to me.

Me: You call that a penis?
My friend: LMfao
Old guy: No responce.

haha thats funny shit and to the kid who went to the native place that is somethin that can get your ass beat ona rez just to let you kno i live on one and i am native but other then that its all good

If you were referring to me, the clerk was not Native American. He was Indian as in from India.

theres this arabic dude at the town pump where i live and hes such a dickhead E.G.:me and tony buy a ligher a box of condoms and a rice krispy treat and the bastard is al bitching at us in a voice that sounds just like Apu from the simpsons

ME-here you go
DICKHEAD-you are too young to be engaging in the sex
ME-youre just jealous
DICKHEAD-you just be carefull or i wont sell you these
ME-you just shut up or ill get you fired(i know the manager)
DICKHEAD-you are most disrespectfull
ME-so?
DICKHEAD-i do not appreiceate youre unkindity
ME-unkindity?
DICKHEAD-yes its a word look it up
ME-just tell me how much it is
DICKHEAD-do not be disrespectfull again!h*hands me my bag*
ME-im going to go slap a cow*flips him off*
ME

Quote:

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Originally Posted by potsmokersinceiwas9

haha thats funny shit and to the kid who went to the native place that is somethin that can get your ass beat ona rez just to let you kno i live on one and i am native but other then that its all good

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sweet another native, were are u from?

well... i typed out a long ass thing here like 5 minutes ago, but my cmp crashed, so but anyways, im boy cotting the only gas station within 5 miles of me, the closest one is 10 miles away, but anyways, im boy cotting the plase becuz of one clerk

Quote:

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Originally Posted by partyguy420

well... i typed out a long ass thing here like 5 minutes ago, but my cmp crashed, so but anyways, im boy cotting the only gas station within 5 miles of me, the closest one is 10 miles away, but anyways, im boy cotting the plase becuz of one clerk

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what'd they do? i work at a gasstation, just interested in hearing what htey did :rasta:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KoRnStaR

what'd they do? i work at a gasstation, just interested in hearing what htey did :rasta:

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well... the one person so far has acused me of stealing a pop from the store (even thu i didnt i think they need to be stolen from) they have hella jacked up prises,the one girl has also acussed me of stealling my moms bank card, and then refuse to sell beer to my cuzian that is over 25 years old with a washington state ID, ohh, she has also called the cops on me and my friends last week cuz we were saposably drunk, and then about 1 year ago, she called the cops on my friends for under age driving.

also im not boy cotting all shell gas staions, just that one while the one worker is there

ok ok check this one out its halirous!!!


Me: hands cashier a bag of chips
Cashier that will be 1.99
Me: hands him 2.00
Cahsier:hands me back a penny and says have a nice day
Me: You too....walks out of door

buzzkill.
thanks rastabill -.-

i hardly think it's funny when asians do it, that's a given, but the mexican people are the ones that sneak it on you. "welcome to yack in the box, may i take your order." "Yes, can I get a Jumbo Jack" *pshh* "ok, you wanna yumbo yack?"

me and my bro at mcdonalds.

My bro: two big macs.
Asian: *walks of to get them*
Me: you have to be polite man, say thanks.
Asain *walks back* would you like coke or orange as your drink?
My bro: Thanks!
Me: dying of laughter on the ground

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ganj

i hardly think it's funny when asians do it, that's a given, but the mexican people are the ones that sneak it on you. "welcome to yack in the box, may i take your order." "Yes, can I get a Jumbo Jack" *pshh* "ok, you wanna yumbo yack?"

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Gwelcom to madonnas!

Dude, those are really funny.

Rastabill, that was mean, i was expecting another hilarious punchline but nnnnnnooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

I've had some weird conversations with clerks, but none that compare with these :p

Quote:

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Originally Posted by partyguy420

anyways, im boy cotting the only gas station within 5 miles of me, the closest one is 10 miles away, but anyways, im boy cotting the plase becuz of one clerk

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Yeah, that'll definitely shut the place down.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ganj

i hardly think it's funny when asians do it, that's a given, but the mexican people are the ones that sneak it on you. "welcome to yack in the box, may i take your order." "Yes, can I get a Jumbo Jack" *pshh* "ok, you wanna yumbo yack?"

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Spoken like a George Lopez fan.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by grasshopper420

ME-here you go
DICKHEAD-you are too young to be engaging in the sex
ME-youre just jealous
DICKHEAD-you just be carefull or i wont sell you these
ME-you just shut up or ill get you fired(i know the manager)
DICKHEAD-you are most disrespectfull
ME-so?
DICKHEAD-i do not appreiceate youre unkindity
ME-unkindity?
DICKHEAD-yes its a word look it up
ME-just tell me how much it is
DICKHEAD-do not be disrespectfull again!h*hands me my bag*
ME-im going to go slap a cow*flips him off*
ME

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Haha, I can just picture that shit. Forgot my I.D. the other day, and guess what? Guy refuses to sell me a lighter. "It is not our problem" in that infamous accent. The people there stare with their bloodshot eyes and talk in some language on their cell phones, and snub the fuck out of me.

I WANT SOME YACK IN THE VOX!