the funnyest shit happens when youre baked

E.g. :just like 30 minutes ago me and my best bro were on the couch and we had my liberty bowl and were on like our 4th bowl when my dad comes out and hes like smokin out os the steamer i made (which he got out of my room w/o permission) and walks up to us and ans asks "whats the difference between a duck?" and then says "i expect an answer when i get back" he then goes over to a lazy-boy and sits down....so me and tony(best bro)start whispering to each other (like someones listening) :

ME- "dude what is the difference between a duck?"
TONY- "i dunno man,probaly somthin like the beak"
ME- "should we tell him that?"
Tony- "no not yet what if were wrong?"
ME- "dude this is hard...."wiat its gotta be the beaks"
Tony- "why?"
ME- "because they dont have anything else cool"
Tony- "ok tell him"

alright so we tell him and hes like "close but no cigar" and then he says "the higher it flies the much" and the reason we think this is funny is cuz we just now realized that everything we said made no sense

LMAO thats the funniest thing ive heard all day

LOL THAt made me laugh!

what was he asking exactly? Whats the diff. between a duck and WHAT?

i was high on weed before school when i was in high school and got high with some dude out his car..so i sold him some acid..he took it soon as i gave it to him..so i took 2 hits and finished smoking the blunt...we was in class trippin so hard...he starts laughing and goes it kicked in..then he asked to use the restroom...he came back to class like 25mins later and said he was taking a shit....so a couple hours later i get called to the office... and i found out he tripped out and took a shit in one of the classrooms down the hall and he said he thought it was the bathroom.. and they have cams in the classrooms so it caught him on tape...then the principle said he was on his way to the hospital and he told them he bought it from me...i just told him i had no idea what he was talking about...it was fucked up...but funny i made fun of him at school the whole day

wow lol

one time i was at the movies and it took me like 10 minutes to order my snacks (yogert cup and some JR. Mints.

Im pretty sure they where laughing at me.

Haha, funny stories

one time, i was w/ 2 peeps and we were at the drive thru trying to order some food but like everything was so funny we just kinda sat there laughing for like an hour..thank goodness it was like 2 in the morning and no one was there :/

hahahaahhahahahahhhahahahaa funny shit. i dont have very many weed stories because..... it pretty much erases it from my memory:( lots of trip stories though. hehe

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sharpezor

LOL THAt made me laugh!

what was he asking exactly? Whats the diff. between a duck and WHAT?

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...thats the point dude.

Hahaha, wtf? That's the funniest shit I've heard in a while.

Hahaha, reminds me of one time...

Right after my friends and I smoked a few bowls we went to the Chevron that was in walking distance. And I was trying to buy a coke and a candy bar and some donuts and it costs like 3 dollars and something. And all I had was change, so I threw it out all on the counter, and started counting it, and I couldn't get past $1.75. Once I got to there, I just started over, not stopping to recount the coins, I just would instantly go back to zero, and still be moving the coins over like nothing happened. Finally after doing this for literally 10 minutes, the cashier takes the change and says it's fine. And I look behind me and my friends are cracking up because there is huge line behind me.

another time we were gettin baked it was like our 4th time ever and me and tony are all stoned as fuck so we decide to go to the corner store which incidently Is on the corner :confused: anyways we go in and were so baked we take like 5 mins to read the label on somthing and were both like talkin real loud and shit so we finnaly pick out like 30$ worth of food and slushie each(which in case you dont know is a LOT of slushies)and head up to the counter when i reach into my pcket to grab the money ta pay for it all unfortunatly its under lmy weed which for reasons beyond me is crammed into like five different little baggies i then pull out the money and the weed falls out with it :eek: me and tony spring into action tony is all standin there tryin to block the camerea veiw and im all tryin to play it real cool like :cool: ...so i get the i dea to preted to drop a quarter i do it i then say "whoops looks like i dropped my quarter so by now tony is really wiggin out and hes like screamin and shit i pick up all the baggies and we both run out then we have to run back in cuz we 4 got the munchies

I once went into McDonald's super stoned with a friend...

When the cashier asks me for my order, I comply:

"Yes please, give me a Whopper combo with a large coke..."

Then she's standing there like, looking at me with this face of you are the most moronic person I have ever met in my life...

So I stand there, looking at her like: what the fuck are you looking at woman?! Give me my damn order!!!

So she just keeps looking at me with pitty, until my friend is cracking up behind me, so he comes up and tells me: "Dude, a Whopper is from Burger King... we're in McDonald's!"

Then I'm like: Well fucking fine!!!
"Please mam, can I have a BigMac combo with a large coke?"

All the cashier girls where giggling at us...

Oh well....

only when your stoned will a 6 ft mouse come into the shop and ask for extra cheese. i had just started smoking, and he was on his way to a highschooll play. i just looked at him and laughed my ass off and went to the back room. i was so fucked off of this hydro a freind gave me.

well all I can say is I wish that my parents' smoked out of shit they stole from my room instead of trashing it.

Hahaha, omg. That reminds of another story.

One time after my friend Ivan and I got really super fucking blazed, we went to Chik-Fil-A. And I was gonna order my food and then my friend Ivan was. This is how it went.

Me: "Yeah... I'll have a medium large."

That's all I said, I have no idea what was going on in my mind. The cashier just looks at me for the longest time, finally...

Ivan: "Hey, dude-"
Me: "Hold on dude, she's taking my order.
Cashier: "... uhm... Either order something or please leave."
Me: "I said I wanted a medium coke, large fries, and 8 piece chicken nugget."

And Ivan behind is just laughing his ass off. I have no recolection of the medium large event. My friend says it was the funniest thing ever. I looked so serious that I knew exactly what I wanted.

lol yep that reminds me of this other time when me and tony were sittin in the living room and biss comes out and hes trippin feirce on lsd and were baked of our asses and he just ran out of his room and gets like 2 inches away from my face and stares at me fo what seemed like 20 min. so i lean a little closer to his ear and say "i just put light in the lightbulb" and he like looks all :eek: and almosts falls over from shock and runs away screaming the yanky doodle song and 20 minutes later we go in and hes on his bed staring at the ceiling mumbling " the british are coming" :confused:

i love reading these stories. they're so entertaining.. so please.. keep em coming.

Once I was at arby's with my friend (Hippie) and he was really stoned. I however was not so I was just fully aware of what was going on while.. he wasn't.
He ordered some curly fries and a sandwich or something and the guy beside him (Fat Guy) had just ordered his food. When the Employee set the food on the countertop and turned around to get Fat Guy's drink... Hippie started eating the curly fries. All I could think about was how my friend was eating some random dude's fries. I didn't know what to do but laugh. Finally when the Employee came back he handed Fat Guy his drink and Fat Guy said "That kid's eating my fries" and we all just laughed. Hippie got mad at me for not telling him what was going on.

He's still embarrassed about that.. and I just laugh.

haha awesome stories guys, they made me laugh, ill try to think if i have any and post them later....continue with the stories please

this one time at bandcamp........

You stuck a flute up your pussy?

Don't worry, we all know. ;)

ok that was gay, back to the cool stories peeps, cmon i kno u got more

well every morning before school i always take the same route and smoke a bowl in my truck then go to class and i was sittin in chemistry with a couple friends but i was the only one baked out of my tree and i couldn't figure out how to do this hard chem shit so i was like watchin over my friends shoulder and i had my mouth like a couple inches from his ear and i was thinking how dry my mouth was and i smacked my lips, like licked em, but it made the loudest sounds ever right by his head in a silent class and he looked at me like i was the biggest tool ever and i couldn't handle it, i was laughing so hard i was almost crying

haha thats funny shit

i've got another one, i was in french class and we were all working and the class was loud and me and my friend never went to that class without being super baked so i was working away and rocking out to my i pod and i have these big head phones and i can't hear whats going on around me with them on. so i was humming along to the song i am the walrus and it goes like dada i am the walrus, all quiet then it says it louder and louder until it is like I AM THE WALRUS YEAAAAAAHHHH so i was humming at first and then when it got to that part the teacher had the whole class quiet and was waiting for me to stop working and listen to her and then i just yelled I AM THE WALRUS YEAAAAA and kept working away like nothing happened and everyone was like wtf did he just say and then jesse slapped me and said i'm a fuckin retard, good times

this one time we were all clam-baking in my car and we got out and went in to wendys and we were ordering and tony pipes up and says "ill take a large chili hold the finger"..... and an order of somthin else good" and then when the girl at the casheir said "what would you like to drink with that?" hes all "for the great taste that wont fill you up and never lets you down make it a bud light" dude we were in the backgroud laughin so hard biss puked..... good times

one time i was blow out my mind in line in mc donalds and the cashiers speaks like no english and im trying to say 1 big mac please and i have to repeat myself like 20 times and then she finally gets it. of course once i get my food i hear someone say that was the spanish speaking only line.

I was smoking once in my car with the windows rolled up and the A/C full blast... Me and a friend.... So we finished a huge blunt, but it was pouring down raining like hell... super nasty rain. So, we didn't roll down the windows when we finished smoking: We had our very own smoke-chamber in there.

Anyways, we went to the drive through of Checkers (?) to get some munchies. Well, we were the only car in the entire restaurant, and Checkers has two drive-thru windows: 1st one you order, 2nd one you pay and pick-up food.

The 1st one is just an intercom. Anyways, it was raining so hard, and there was nobody else in line, so I just said "Fuck it, let's order in the next window." because the 1st window didn't have a roof to cover the cars.

So when we get to the second window, and we're covered from the rain, the cashier opens up the window to take our order...

Well, we where so fucking stoned that I just rolled down my window without even thinking about all the smoke! It was so much fucking smoke coming out of my car, that EVERY employee in Checkers passed by the 2nd window just to look at "the two stoners"...

But the employees where cool... they gave us a couple of free things, and they where laughing and stuff...

One time me, andrew, and ben were all smoking and this was andrew and bens first time. We had smoked like four bowls of super dank weed and i was ripped out of my mind, ben was to, andrew wasnt. Well, ben starts thinking out loud, and he cant control the pitch of his voice it was like a little girl. Hes like "you know what i was thinking?" he said that literally for five minutes, im not joking. He then moves to "i was thinking..." for another 4 min. Then, finnally he is able to convey his thought,"i was thinking of things you couldn't suuuuueeeee!" and i was like what can't you sue and he was like, "you cant" "you cant" "you cant" "you cant" "you cant sue a bananaaaa".......Ben and I just lost it at that moment we burst out in this high pitch laughter and we were crying we were laughing so hard.....

While we were laughing ben couldnt breath, he just couldnt stop laughing to catch his breath.. and he starts saying "Im blacking out" really high pitch. So i see him black out and laugh harder.... it then happens to me, Ben wakes up and sees that im blacked out and he laughs so hard he pisses his pants, and blacks out again.....I wake up and see his is still blacked out and start worrying that he died so im done laughing...he wakes up and is still laughing for another 30 min.....Andrew during this whole time whipped out his notebook from his backpack and writes down whats happening....we read it all the time...omg best trip ever

once..at mcdonalds, i was w/ a friend..and hes like wat do u want..and i was like "4 large fries, 5 mchickens, 5 bacon cheeseburgers, 5 dbl. cheeseburgers, 20 piece nuggets, 2 large sprites, ....yea...hes like MY GOD MAN..but hes liike ok..then im like wait..double it..so yea..that was MY meal.....not his :]