time to explain a lil buddy named "jesus"

uhh yyaaaa mannn... just blazed and was thinkin heres my explanation to over 2000 years of strate up BULLSHIT! :p

haha ya man ya see Jesus,, well haha he was trippin, you see when he spoke to "god" or w/e the fuck he did, he was just buggin out man he was high as fuck so he was hearin shit and gettin paronoid at first... then he mellowed out and was like "hey guys uhh ya man this dude ya his names god hes my buddy and like my moms a fuckin virgin or somethin so i guess you could say hes my dad and ya man hes awesome, he tells me wat to do, but its weird, i can only talk to him for like a couple hours at a time then he goes away" YA holy shit jesus are u stupid!?
haha no man he "goes away" b/c ur not stoned anymore. u were trippin balls all over the place and hearin shit u crazy babbooon knoker!

u get it ppl its all just some crazy stoner talkin out of his ass with some bored ppl lsitenin and pickin up on it! now i havent read the bible myself but i get to "jist" or w/e of the whole chrisitianity stuff. u ppl need to chill out, you say u hate weed and drugs, but jesus was bakin and puffin all day and loved o mighty' loved his liquor and magical shrooms. you christianans take orders from a strate up cloudhead so i cant wait til u all relize it :rolleyes:

well, ive def. had enough smokin for tonite (since ive already taken 5 g-bong hits and smoked a blunt of this tropical dro) but hey... im gonna go with my roommate and smoke some more then we'll think about this shit again and report back !!

btw it was my friend tlakin and me typenin the whole time ahha it was like our converstatoin i forget i was typin pretty funny we were laughin our ass off. i guess i beter press this button and get this thread launched off... well here it goes 3, 2 , 1 , ok er ya go..

shit *attention mods* delete this thread immediately if the cops aka police see this they'll no i found out the truth and ill be set up and popped and ive seen wat happens to stuff when it dies i was walkin home with my friends the other day and i saw this mole dead on the road and shit was crawling into its ass and eating it, it was insane and like it was dead.. and i had this theory....

when u "die" ur not really dead ur just brain is stopped and heart stopped but ur dead but no really dead just physicaly dead or so we think... so ive decided when they come after and escort me then i want to be creamated b/c i dont want beatles and ants crawling into me under my grave to eat me so burn me b/c i can handle that ill not really be dead just my heart and shit stopped its hard to explain but u get it i no u do just think about it

Wow, thanks for sharing these age-old secrets..........you truly have enlightened us all ...

L

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Originally Posted by rajking86

Wow, thanks for sharing these age-old secrets..........you truly have enlightened us all ...

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OL

wow u guys are nutz. jessus was black! lol

Well, supposedly, seeing how he was the Son of God, Jesus was everyman.

jesus was a hippie dude. and i think he would be ashamed of what his church has become

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Originally Posted by ilovelife

u get it ppl its all just some crazy stoner talkin out of his ass with some bored ppl lsitenin and pickin up on it! now i havent read the bible myself but i get to "jist" or w/e of the whole chrisitianity stuff. u ppl need to chill out, you say u hate weed and drugs, but jesus was bakin and puffin all day and loved o mighty' loved his liquor and magical shrooms. you christianans take orders from a strate up cloudhead so i cant wait til u all relize it :rolleyes:

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You need to stop being ignorant and read the goddamn bible if you're going to try to second guess it. How could you ever think you have understanding of "the whole christianity stuff" if all you have is what you've heard?

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Originally Posted by rajking86

Wow, thanks for sharing these age-old secrets..........you truly have enlightened us all ...

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Well I've certainly attained sudden enlightenment. sorry Buddha, ilovelife beat you to it :D

What Jesus believed an taught was "twisted" by a man called Eusebius, under order by the Roman Emperor Constantine. Back in the 4th Century, with little other information to draw on, it was accept Eusebius' words of "Christianity", or be banished from the empire or silenced. This "revamping" of Christianity was to rid the world of Paganism and Gnosticism.

What Jesus believed and taught was "twisted" by a man called Eusebius, under order by the Roman Emperor Constantine. Back in the 4th Century, with little other information to draw on, it was accept Eusebius' words of "Christianity", or be banished from the empire or silenced. This "revamping" of Christianity was to rid the world of Paganism and Gnosticism.

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Originally Posted by Polymirize

You need to stop being ignorant and read the goddamn bible if you're going to try to second guess it. How could you ever think you have understanding of "the whole christianity stuff" if all you have is what you've heard?

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because christianity isnt in a book, it is in PEOPLE!!!


sorry, but i am tempted to call you a stupid fuck :(



PEOPLE make christianity, not the good book; it isnt even properly followed in the first place (not that i know, i have only read quotes from the bible, never the book itself).

but never the less, many things i have heard about the bible are either contridicted by things i havent heard, or people do not know how to be christians...

Sorry, but I am forced to conclude that all christians who believe in "literal interpretation" (which are actually the only ones I have problems with) DO in fact believe that Christianity is derived from a book. So for this case, its necessary to understand the book in order to have the common ground to be able to communicate with these people. whatever the goal of that communication might be.

Do I disagree that many things seem to be misconstrued or obviously metaphorical in the text? not at all. In fact, having read the bible, I can say just how absurd some of modern christianity's views are. Not that you'd know apparently. Maybe you think reading is beneath you.

Call me whatever you like But maybe if you didn't base all your opinions on hearsay and instead, oh I don't know, read a book (?), you might be able to intelligently discuss these matters.

lmao the problem is that if people are taking a literal perspective of the book, they dont even understand it either.


so you really have no reasoning with them lol



TRUE christians dont prescribe to religion.

i cant remember, are maximalists the ones who take the book literaly or are those the minimalists

the prefix max seems more fitting, to maximize the word of the bible?

i think that would be logical...

yeah it is max i looked it up....damn maximalists

hahaha how unchristian! :D

The word Christian is a derivative of Christ. True Christians believe in Christ.

Was Jesus Christ a myth? Was he a Pagan God? I don't know, I haven't opened the book back up.