so very, very depressed... need help...

I'm not sure when it started, maybe a week ago, it definately happened yesterday. I just can't enjoy anything anymore. Something else inside of me is dictating how happy I am.

Last night it got so bad I was convinced my life was over and I was ready to die. The moment I woke up this morning I thought "hey that was pretty stupid of me last night", and then 5 minutes later it started again. That lasted until noon when, for literally like 30 seconds, I came out of it. I was free of the pain and I was happy and I felt like I could do everything again and I had to go get started on all the things that I know are fun, but then 30 seconds later I died again.

Whatever this is, although I occasionally have brief spasms of happiness, this is just getting worse and worse every day and I dont know what to do and I want to have control again. I have no reason to be depressed. My life rocks. Schools great, family is great, and yet I can't be happy.

goddamn this sucks...

ok first you may be suffering of some mental illiness, bipolarity maybe, who knows. if u go and consult well do it. u may get a prescription and you should be fine.

if not, if i was you i would concentrate on everything that is good and beautiful around you. remember your brain decides all. so try to convince your brain that there is no reason to be sad and depressed, and try to focus on all the good things u have. try just not to thing too much.

dont stay alone too. go see some friends, and talk. its always helping a lot just by the fact of sharing what u go through. try to smoke a bit and enjoy it. listen to music, try to meditate. who knows man, anything.

hope itll help and good luck, life is great, and bad moments are there to make u appreciate a thousand time more the good moments.

peace

definatley seek medical attention. i dont want you going suicidal on us. this is a great community we have here.

it's all in your head, my friend. you wake up tomorrow morning, a new day. it's all in what you make of it. overcome what's bothering you and end your depression without medical attention. live long and prosper, moeburn. peace.

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Originally Posted by Ganj

it's all in your head, my friend. you wake up tomorrow morning, a new day. it's all in what you make of it. overcome what's bothering you and end your depression without medical attention. live long and prosper, moeburn. peace.

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It's not that simple bro. Manic-depressive people, or bi-polar people, it is not in their head. It is a chemical imbalance and is not something you can tell your brain to switch. It happens when the brain is lacking those natural chemicals that your body produces, using prescription medication helps get those clogged chemicals flowing naturally again so a person can function normally. When your body is lacking those chemicals, a person can't tell themselves it's all in their heads. They can't help it because they are trapped, and using the right kind of drugs free those chemicals. When those chems. ain't there, a person feels sad.

So unless you have a mental illness, you don't know jack. No offense :)

OK I thought about it some more. My symptoms sound like bipolar. I haven't felt this bad since when I was 9 or 10 years old. Back then I could just never sleep, I was always crying, I was always afraid of dying, etc.

So maybe I had bipolar, and I had just gotten over it. Me smoking weed probably reactivated it, since weed is well known to bring out depression hidden in people. And the fact that I just ran out probably didnt help.

Its also depressing that, if I dont seek help, I might have to live like this forever, but if I do seek help, they might give me antidepressants that change who I am and turn me into a vegetable, I dont want that.

I'm hoping this will all go away in a few days, since thats usually when the weed withdrawl goes away (fuck you assholes that told me there are no withdrawl symptoms).

thanks everyone

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Originally Posted by moeburn

I'm not sure when it started, maybe a week ago, it definately happened yesterday. I just can't enjoy anything anymore. Something else inside of me is dictating how happy I am.

Last night it got so bad I was convinced my life was over and I was ready to die. The moment I woke up this morning I thought "hey that was pretty stupid of me last night", and then 5 minutes later it started again. That lasted until noon when, for literally like 30 seconds, I came out of it. I was free of the pain and I was happy and I felt like I could do everything again and I had to go get started on all the things that I know are fun, but then 30 seconds later I died again.

Whatever this is, although I occasionally have brief spasms of happiness, this is just getting worse and worse every day and I dont know what to do and I want to have control again. I have no reason to be depressed. My life rocks. Schools great, family is great, and yet I can't be happy.

goddamn this sucks...

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Not to burst your bubble or make you worry more but for the past eight years I have suffered severe depression on and off way more on than off.
Due to some circumstances with my current job and a short term jail sentence coming to me for a traffic charge I have woken up for the past two months with such a very deep feeling of dread that it is scary at times. Some mornings my first thought of the day is suicide. I have attempted suicide by sleeping pills and I have put a fully loaded revolver to my left temple but did not have the courage to pull the trigger. I have carved names of my first son and girlfreind (now wife) into my left and right arms.
Yeah I'm a pretty severe nut case some of you are thinking right now but I don't feel that to be true. I have never talked to a proffesional about my problems before. But I will never take my own life because of my children and I know I'll get better once my troubles calm down as I have alot going on right now. I also would not take my own life after seeing this http://www.ogrish.com/archives/man_c...c_20_2004.html But all in all I really feel for you and I hope things get better. I really do. Good luck to you and don't forget what you just saw and read.

P.S If you need to talk to someone about anything e-mail me at [email protected]

Your Freind,
Zero Revolt

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Originally Posted by moeburn

Its also depressing that, if I dont seek help, I might have to live like this forever, but if I do seek help, they might give me antidepressants that change who I am and turn me into a vegetable, I dont want that.

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You are uneducated on this manner. Not all anti-depressants will turn you into a, "vegetable" :rolleyes: I've been on them for years and I am by far a vegetable, by far. Don't listen to others say about it, because most people who do, don't know shit about it anyways.

Hope things turn around for you :cool:

[/QUOTE]life is great, and bad moments are there to make u appreciate a thousand time more the good moments.

peace[/QUOTE]

Mellow mood!!! That quote is fucking amazing. That one needs to go down in the history books. ;)

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Originally Posted by moeburn

My life rocks. Schools great, family is great, and yet I can't be happy.

goddamn this sucks...

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If ever an oxymoron could be written, it would look something like this.

And now I'm happy again. Its like theres a little fairy floating over me intravenously giving me small doses of heroin every few hours. I keep going up and down and up and down...

I'd recommend learning the buddhist form of meditation. it trains you to recognize that suffering is the cause of impulses and chemical drives. through meditation, you can free yourself of being victim to the whim of your brain chemicals, and strengthen what really matters, your own consciousness. without the emotional interferrence, your consciousness can attain the happiness it desires and be freed from suffering.
many buddhist temples offer meditation instruction and classes, for buddhists and non-buddhists alike. they won't try to force you into conversion ;) .

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Originally Posted by moeburn

Its like theres a little fairy floating over me intravenously giving me small doses of heroin every few hours. I keep going up and down and up and down...

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You my freind are on some really good shit. :D

Whenever you're down, just come to this site and find the thread "I saw a black person...". You don't have to look in it, just at the title.
If that doesn't crack you up, look at your avatar.
I don't know how you can pass up my first idea.
That's like starting a thread, "I saw an elephant..." (or "I saw a Czechoslovokian-Aztec Indian", in case someone's thinking I'm being racist).

all I can tell ya man, is that you've always got friends here on the boards, and dont' depend solely on medications. if you ask me, meds are crap that just cover up the symptoms. that's how our whole medical system seems to deal with chronic illness of any sort, treat the symptom but never actually fix anything.

hey, depression is an illness, and you cant just say
"poof" and have it be gone...thats like trying to tell someone with the flu to instantly feel better...

maybe get a counselor (im serious), and talk about life...

and just like beachguy said, were not just a bunch of fucking burnt-out potheads, were a support group (pretty much) for good times and bad...

just remember, everyday is the first day of the rest of your life, exept the day you die...and try to treat it as such, maybe try actually staying sober for a month or so, i actually committed this feat of bravery, and i felt better...sometimes life just moves too fast (or slow) and you just gotta take a break...

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Originally Posted by flamingskullballs

and just like beachguy said, were not just a bunch of fucking burnt-out potheads, were a support group (pretty much) for good times and bad...

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Yup, I called us all fucking burnt-out potheads! Cool.

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Originally Posted by Nochowderforyou

It's not that simple bro. Manic-depressive people, or bi-polar people, it is not in their head. It is a chemical imbalance and is not something you can tell your brain to switch. It happens when the brain is lacking those natural chemicals that your body produces, using prescription medication helps get those clogged chemicals flowing naturally again so a person can function normally. When your body is lacking those chemicals, a person can't tell themselves it's all in their heads. They can't help it because they are trapped, and using the right kind of drugs free those chemicals. When those chems. ain't there, a person feels sad.

So unless you have a mental illness, you don't know jack. No offense :)

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see, i had similar problems facing depression and anxiety and from my experience it is in your head. the fda aren't trying to help people - they'd lose all their money if they actually cured diseases and you can't tell me that all these years "researching" diseases that they haven't found a cure. the government is the biggest crack dealer in the world and the people keep falling victim.
moeburn, i suggest you do some research of your own, because there are natural cures for your problem...

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Originally Posted by beachguy in thongs

Yup, I called us all fucking burnt-out potheads! Cool.

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I dont think you read it right, he said that you said we are NOT a fucking burnt out group of potheads.

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Originally Posted by jkg114

I dont think you read it right, he said that you said we are NOT a fucking burnt out group of potheads.

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Uggh! Where's my head? Thanks, and sorry for that mistake!

Have you ever had double-vision? I had it, severly, from a car accident. Smoking pot helps it, considerably. I've been dry since Thursday.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jkg114

I dont think you read it right, he said that you said we are NOT a fucking burnt out group of potheads.

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i think you read it wrong too, he said we're not just a bunch of burnt-out potheads.

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Originally Posted by Ganj

i think you read it wrong too, he said we're not just a bunch of burnt-out potheads.

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Another case-in-point. Always trust my intuition after eight beers.

clinical depression.

trust me depression suks i used to have mad depression and its no laughing matter.i still get ita from time to time im a manic,so i know how u feel when u feel good, u feel relly good,wen u feel bad u feel really bad