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post yr best joke
a beautiful woman is at a bar and a guy comes up and starts hitting on her and basically annoying the hell out of her. after awhile she looks at him and says, 'do u like sex?' he is startled by this and says yes. then she says, 'do u like hiking?' and he replies yes. so she looks into his eyes and says, 'then why dont u take a fucking hike?
lol :D :p
I'm not a joke-man, but I like reading jokes. Keep 'em coming.
A young woman, who is a student at Harvord university, decides she can't take the pressure of living up to everybody's expecations anymore and is going to kill herself. so she finds the highest bridge around is prepares herself to jump. as she's sitting on the edge weeping, a sailor notices and asks what's wrong.
she explains her situation so the sailor says "well, you really have nothing to lose, so why don't you stow away on my ship, it's heading out to Europe tomorrow morning. I'll feed you and keep you warm, and in return we can keep each other happy". so she hides away in one of the ships lower levels, every day he brings her 3 sandwiches and some fruit, and they make passionate love till dawn.
After a couple weeks the captain is inspecting the ship and finds her. he asks what she's doing hiding on his ship and she explains "well, I had this agreement with one of the sailors that he'll hide me away till we reach Europe, and in return he gets to screw me every night."
The captain just smiles and says "well he certainly screwed you all right, this is the staton island ferry!"
That happened to a girl I knew once. Just kidding. Good one.
2 guys walk into a bar and the other one walks around it
You should've never posted the next joke, because it pales in comparison. LOL!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Smokey McPot
two muffins were in an oven. the first muffin says to the other "Wow its getting hot in here!!" and the other one says " AHHHHHHHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!"
What did President Bush get on his SATs?
Drool.
Lol good jokes.. I'm watching "Dick and Dom in the Bungalow" new series started today:D Wish i was high lol.
This must be the earliest I've ever been on here (9:35am) ;)
What did the lepper say to the prostitute?
You can keep the tip.
went to a muslims birthday party today
quickest game of pass the parcel i have ever played
Who was the greatest Jewish cook?
Hitler!
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese :D
*sigh*Quote:
Originally Posted by rastabill89
that joke has gotten into every joke thread I've ever read.
A hippie is walking through the desert for some reason, and comes across a lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie pops out and says "I would grant you three wishes, but you interrupted something between me and the Mrs., so I'm only giving you two."
The hippie says "Groovy, man" and thinks for a little bit. Finally he says "I want a joint that never ends." Poof! In his hands pops a sweet-smelling joint. He gets out his lighter and fires it up. It is filled with the best hydro he had ever smoked and after smoking it for about five minutes, he was blazed out of his mind but the joint didn't look any shorter! The hippie then says to the genie "Whoa man, this thing is wicked! I want another one!"
LOL. I would have asked for a third for both my nostrils.
What did the bathtub say to the toilet?
I know I see a lot of ass, but you're always full of shit.
Two asians walk into a bar.
One week later they own it.
zarathusta dont talk about that my uncle died in a concentration camp!
He fell off a watch tower
If you smoke after sex your doing it too fast!
This guy is pestering this woman in a bar, the woman is pretty pissed off as she cant stand this dude so she asks him "Have you got a big cock?"
"Why yes , I do have a big cock" the guy boasts,
"Then go Fuck yourself" .