This is a funny ass parody of the terrorism tips at www.ready.gov
Some great, clever shit right here, please read this! rofl.
http://www.turoks.net/Cabana/HomelandSecurity.htm
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This is a funny ass parody of the terrorism tips at www.ready.gov
Some great, clever shit right here, please read this! rofl.
http://www.turoks.net/Cabana/HomelandSecurity.htm
Actually, this site, www.turoks.net is freaking hilarious!
dude.. that has to be the funniest shit ever. Hard to stop laughing.
"If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it"
lol
"If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud."
dude this is pure gold
hahaha
"If the door is closed, Karate chop it open"
how do thay come up with that shit.
lmao lol hahahahaha thats some funny shit man
i just have to say, rasta, every time i see your avatar it makes me want to light up a big fat doob. props. :D
cool site man. how to stop computer viruses. LOL.
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.
has to be the best lol
funny shit
there are too many fucking things on that site i cant check them all any other instant classics?
In case of nucular attack, stop, drop, and roll (a joint)
Biblical Ways To Acquire a Wife
Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours.
-- Deuterononmy (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
Find a prostitute and marry her.
-- Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3)
Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.
-- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)
Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.
-- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.
-- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)
Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib.
-- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)
Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman.
-- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)
Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife.
-- David (I Samuel 18:27)
Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.)
-- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)
Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. (I like that one the best :D )
-- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)
When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ...woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me."
-- Samson (Judges 14:1-3)
Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though).
-- David (2 Samuel 11)
Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea, it's the law).
-- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)
Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.
-- Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)
A wife?...NOT!!!
-- Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
Become sinless, and die in atonement for others, and you can marry a whole bunch of people.
-- Jesus (Revelation 15?)