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so hard you thought you where going to die? I did tonight. Some comedian was on tv tonight. My good sweet green companion i was so high i almost stopped breathing. Me and my roomate were smoking like a couple months ago i made him laugh till he passed out. It was terrific. He litterally went to sleep for about a half hour. So i thought i killed him at very first then i saw him breathing. Anyone else got stories? Please share them...
DO IT!
Yeah man, Me and my friend went on a boat trip with my brother, but this was the first time they met. So we were on his little sailboat(we werent sailing, just using the small engine) and you have to turn the engine to make it turn, ya know the rudder. Anyways it was me, my bro, and my friend(driving). I asked to drive to boat and he let me because he knew me, and I know he wouldnt of let my bro drive because he just met him... But I didnt realize at the time, so my bro asks me to drive, and I was just like "Yeah sure." So my dumbass brother goes to the back of the boat to steer. He saw a crab pot that was like 150 degrees behind us. He puts the engine to full speed and turns real quick and the motor falls in the fuckin' water! the kid, freaks out(hes british too fill ya in) He starts screaming "DAHHMMMIT!" "DAHHHMMITT!" It was so weak.
My bro and I were just dying with tears. We were in a bay only like 200 yards away from our house, we had paddles so we just paddled back. And when we were tying up the boats, he fell off the dock(3ft out of water) and held on to the pole full of barnacles. He started crying and screaming, we were laughing so hard, then we realized he could actually be hurt, so we helped him out.... And to this day whenever me or my bro says, "DAHHMIT!", we just start cheesing out.
And like an hour ago I just remebered it when me and my bro were taking rips, Its been like 4 years... We cheesed out so hard.
EDIT: Ok, Im really high, and I guess I went too far on the story and shit. oh well.
back when i first started smoking, i laughed so hard i couldnt breath but i never passed out.
dude that' sosme of the greatest shit i've heard in awhile......i can just imagine the whole damn thing
Last night, I talked my husband into getting stoned with me. He's so "responsible" and all...and when he gets stoned, it's a riot. So he starts rambling on about the movie "Missing in Action" (he MEANT Mission Impossible), and how the star of the movie was "Tom Norris" (instead of Tom Cruise)....then he looks at me real serious, and says "Who the fuck is Norris?" And I just started laughing so hard, I thought I was going to pee my pants. And he's still off in space rambling on about "Norris the Texas Ranger" being in the movie "Missing in Action". Then he just stops, and I am still laughing, and he's like "What did you say?" I'm like "I didn't say anything." And he's like "Well, I asked you who the fuck Norris was....and what did you say?" I am on the verge of pissing in my pants, and I am like "I didn't say a fucking thing about Norris." He's like "Who the fuck is Norris? What are you talking about?" I gave up, man...but I love laughing like that. How CAN'T you?????
......ok maybe weed isn't for him lol
Haha, that's great Allie.
Oh fuck ya. A few times for me.
First time I saw Fear in Loathing, when Johnny Depps character says, "No, we can't stop here, this is bat country!"...Ha ha! I laughed through the whole movie at that one part.
Another time, just last week actually, I was listening to some Bill Hick's comedy and Adam Sandler. Bill Hicks said something like this..."that joint was so good, it felt like it was grown by God, rolled up by Jesus, and sealed with Claudia(sp?) Shiffers(sp?) pussy juice"...Sandler's track was somethng called "Cock and Balls"...all I remeber is me laughing and hearing, "why don't you whip out your cock and balls and give them a rub"...ha ha ha!!! You had to be there.
Whoa, your hubby needs to lay off the reefer...;)Quote:
Originally Posted by IrieAllie
man i like that boat storie.
and yea that CD u are talking about "nochowderforyou' is cock and balls. and it his mom saying "why don't you whip out your cock and balls and give them a rub for mom(or mommy)"
this isnt a funny story but it was at the time because i was blazed. me and my friends was toking in a smoke house and the next thing me and my friend know is one of them started having sex with his nasty girl friend and i was cracking up, and when i was sober, i was very unconfortable that i saw that, i am now scard.
... it must have been during exams or something, but ... the vending machine in my dorm is in the study lounge. So blazed out of my mind I go to get some munchies, and the lounge is PACKED with people quietly studying. Nearly every seat is full (20+ people). So no big deal, they are used to seeing people come and go for food at the vending machine. Well I wanted something but being stoned I fucked up and pressed the wrong buttons. So, I'm standing for like 2 min waiting for the thing I wanted to drop. I finally realize my mistake, and the fact that I've just been standing there... I start to laugh at this but in a semi controlled fashion. Then I go to buy the thing I actually want and fuck up again. I couldn't control my self and just started cracking up. Like laughing so hard my ribs hurt, real loud too. Everyone just stared at me like wtf?!?!?! and that made me laugh even more. So after 5 min of this, I finally ordered the right thing and ran out of there. Everyone HAD to know I was stoned out of my gord. Luckily it's college and no one gives a shit... well I suppose they were pissed I disrupted their studying oh well :D
The first time we got our friend Melissa high was a trip. Mel's really kinda quiet and she'd only been hanging with us for a few weeks and we finally talked her into it. Well she's different when she's high, and she was hilarious. She was telling us jokes and shit and started goofing on these two guys in our class. My sides hurt so much they were stil sore the next morning. I didn't pass out though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SENSESFAIL
lmfao that is hilarious and I'm really stoned
Ok checck it out me and two of my friends are sitting in his hot tub toking outa a bong. We had thought his parents went to bed but I guess not cause his mom starts walking up. So friend 1 takes the bong and fuckin glowing $15 lighter says "Well guess i wont be needing these" chucks it into the lake behind the hot tub. We all are just cracking up and his mom is ultra pissed. I was laughing so hard I almost drowned.
Nick Swardson on Comedy Central always makes me laugh until I hurt. Doesn't matter how many times I've seen it...but hearing him say "NICHOLAS!" in that grandma voice, dude it gets me every time. ;)
My friend laughed himself down a flight of stairs. It was pretty funny.
Dude, about, hmm, 3 weeks ago, me and two of my friends were just completely fuckin blitzed out of our skulls. So at first, I started laughing a lot because his head looked so small, then he starts to spit in the sink because he had cottonmouth and about 10 seconds later, after he stopped using the sink, i told him to shut the water off, my friends brought that up to me and i thought it was really funny so I started laughing my ass off. then i couldnt remember what i was laughing about so i was trrying to ask him as he was walking aimlessly around the house. He finally ends up sitting on my stepas and I'm yelling at him because he wont answer me which was pissing me off. So then all of a sudden, he just looks at me and says in this really high putched hyper voice that is so out of character for him "Dude, I don't know what the fuck you just said. I have no idea what you were doing. I can't remember shit. I (inaudible, blah blah, makes no sense). I can't take take this anymore! What's ahppening to me?" Well, me and him started cracking up THE HARDEST i have ever alughed in my entire llife to the point where I collapsed on the stairsa and couldnt breathe so now sound was coming out and my head and eyes hurt. Meanwhile, my other friend had no idea what we were laughing about because he was licking the wall the whole time for some reason. Some funny asss shit.
i choked on ice cream once while watching chappelle's show. and this one tiem i smoked a few j's of some haze ith my cousin and brother, and about an hour later i stopped breathing as a joke and made my cousin think i was dead. he was like shaking me going like "dude, DUDE!". finally i couldnt take it anymore and jsut strating laughing hysterically.
heres my stories man i had to stop smoking for like 2 weeks so i could get a job, right after the drug test me and some of my friends bought a lot of soome like glowing chronic we started smoking about half and hour one of my friends open his mouth and started talking jibberish we could understand a word he was sayin we kept laughing my side hurt so bad i had tears coming out i thought i was going to die from laughing. next day when we got together to smoke he said he thought he was telling us jokes.
another one is my friend just got done drying his white widow plant and we went to the movies to see spiderman2 it was pretty boring but like at the end when peter said
maryjane..i cant live without you we started laughing so loud and so hard everyone in the movie theater were telling us to shut up but it was so funny we git kicked out of the theater for laughing like that
I think mine is one of those "had to be there" type of things. But I'll try to make it funny anyways.
I was chilling with a buddy who would later become my best friend. We hadn't known each other for long, and we would usually hang out after he'd gotten high. I didn't smoke weed back then.
Anyways I had a slushie type thing I was enjoying, and he was lying on the bench staring at the sky. I didn't realize just how f*cked up he was until he asked if he could have some. I pass him the slushie without thinking, and didn't think anything of it. A half second later I hear him scream "AAAAH! WHY IS IT LEAKING OUT OF MY FACE?!"
I turn around and he's trying to pour the slushie down his throat, but not CLOSING HIS MOUTH to swallow. The sugary drink is pouring down his face and into his hair, and he's all wide-eyed and freaked out about it. Between laughs I managed to choke out "Close your mouth, dipshit". His response; "Oh, yeah!"
:D Must have been some good weed.
OMG laughing my ass off. funny shit. leaking. lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Stedric
Man I am killing myself right now with these anecdotes..it hurts it hurts...
PS Floyd rocks..
i've had some good laughs but this one is probabaly the most 're-tellable'
quite a while ago now when i first started, me and my mate smoked some J and went back to mine for munch. once we were in mine i could see that my buddy had the WORST dry mouth. he was really hungry and asked for food. i decided that the best thing for the job was CRACKERS! he took one bite and that was that! i challegned him to eat 2 in a minute. the one single bite he took stayed in his mouth for at least 5 mins! then we were laughing so hard that it started just coming back out his mouth all over the floor.
good times!
a couple weeks ago me and my friend (kev) decided to get another one of our friends (steve) high. now steve has only smoked about 2 times. so he tries to be all cool and takes a HUGE hit. he starts choking and coughing and cant stop. me and kev just look at eachother and laugh our ass's off. then steve, still coughing, takes another hit to make it seem like he's ok. then he coughs even more and then HE STARTS TO PUKE!!! omg it was the funniest thing i've ever seen. god i fell off the the log i was sitting on cause i laughed so hard. then that made kev laugh even more. finally after steve keeps throwing up that makes me sick and i throw up! kev is just sitting there laughing his fat ass of at both of his friends puking their guts out. it was the funniest thing that ever happend to me.
Haha, why is it that so often the funniest shit is also gross?Quote:
Originally Posted by scartledge
i never passed out from laughing but have woke up many a morning after dosing and had my sides still hurting from laughing so hard life is way good when you can laugh like that
one nite, id been all over the fucking city, wrecked off my head, and dont know how i got anywhere...but i ended up in my side of town in a friends bedroom smoking bongs with 5 others...we were all absolutely hammered (so much so that the 'pulsing' was painful)...and then i jsut started laugihng fro no reason..the so did the erpson next to me, and this contined to we were all in histerics...we would laugh fro literally 10minutes traight...then every1 would have like a 5second breather, thne itd start again...after aobut alf an hour of this, we all stopped for a sec and i said "...why does this keep happening???".........well that was that, we all burst out luaghing til we all passed out due to oxygen deprevation! :D i like drugs...
i was talking to my friend kyle on the phone today when he was drunk and i was high and we had started going into this elabrate plan about how we are gonna make a robot that will harvest weed and bring it back to us and then if a cop found it i would self destruct and kill the cop and then rebuild its self and start on its way to bring us back the harvest of the bud. we laughed so hard