Have Big Problem need opinions

Ok here goes, although Ihate to talk about it. I've been seeing this girl for 4 yrs now, and she is from France and im American so sometimes we don't see each other for a couple of months at a time. Well she told me if I wanted to fuck other girls it was ok as long as I used condoms, well I told her I don't want her fucking other guys. I know if I can do it she can do it, but tha's not the point, for the 4 yrs whenever she asked me if I have cheated on her I told her yes,with who, and how many times. And whenever I asked her if she cheated on me she always told me no, and I believed her!! Well the other day we were talking on the phone and I asked her if she had ever cheated on me and she said no again, except this time I knew by her voice she was lying! So the next day I called her when she was sober and told her I knew she was lying and I wanted to know the truth. So after pleading with her she finally told me the truth which was yes. So now all day everyday all I can think about is her fucking other guys and it is really hurting me inside, but I cheated on her with so many more girls, it's not like we were married, but the fact that she lied to me for years just fucks me up! So we are supposed to be moving in together in 3 weeks, but I can't quit thinking about the other guys, I mean I still love her, but I can't stay with her if I can't get that shit out of my mind. please give me some opinions, but try to be gentle with ur opinions as I am really hurting inside.... Thanks Everyone.

maybe.... you should think about how it would have felt for her if she really hadn't fucked other guys but you got to fuck chicks all day long...

lmao

Yea if youre doing it then there is no difference. A cheater is a cheater.

Yeah, sure, I know what we both did was wrong, but like I said I still love the girl, but im not sure I could handle staying with her cause I can't quit thinking about it!

pussy's pussy dude.


just kidding. follow your heart... thats what i do

ok so u can cheat on her and its all good but if she cheats on you its the wrong thing how can you say you love someone and cheat on them i rly dont get it

jesus fuck girls and she fuck boys whats the prob man its not complicated if u cant see each other for months why wouldnt she cheat??? its not like if u were married

Go with ur heart, but you gota realize u did the same thing just move on now that ur moving in with each other it shouldent happen again. you both should talk about it and set some guide lines on ur sex lives

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Originally Posted by RidingHigh

Go with ur heart, but you gota realize u did the same thing just move on now that ur moving in with each other it shouldent happen again. you both should talk about it and set some guide lines on ur sex lives

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Give me an example of what u mean by "guidelines" I understand the concept, but I would like ex. pls.

you probably shouldn't be moving in together. People yell and scream all day about how much they love each other, but they do horrible shit to each other. It sounds like you both are not ready to have this relationship.

Love is not enough. You have to respect the other person, which neither of you has done. My advice is to end the relationship and not have another one with until you either mature or find someone who you respect enough to not fuck around on and who can do the same for you.

It doesn't really matter that you're apart for a few months. You both knew about this situation beforehand and apparently decided you can handle it, so that's no excuse.

I mean like your dick is only dick she be touching=P

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Originally Posted by Porkchop

So now all day everyday all I can think about is her fucking other guys and it is really hurting me inside...I can't quit thinking about the other guys...

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When you move in with someone, shouldn't it be because you can't stand being apart? You are about to commit to someone and you have a huge issue between you. You need to step back. Live apart. Maybe make an agreement to exclusively date each other and take it really slow. Without the pressure of living together.

'Dude, we all go through with "The Roster". A roster is the list of people you've screwed. It's never easy. I still remember hearing my wife's roster. I listened, cringing, asked shitty questions, then got over it. She just wanted a number, but I needed details. Then it was over.

Your relationship has a chance if you can both look at those years as what they really were: living very far apart and living separate lives.

I still remember hearing my wife's roster. I listened, cringing, asked shitty questions, then got over it. She just wanted a number, but I needed details.

Same here, She just wanted a number, but I had to know all the details, and we have been talking about it for days, and I got alot of details, but there is more questions about the details I think of everyday, and I know she is getting sick of answering all of my stupid questions about details!

Yeah, she'll get sick of it really fast. But it's your problem now... either get over it, or move on. Do you feel like you can trust her from this day on? Does she want to be exclusive? If so, then the ball's in your corner.

In the early stages of my current relationship, I decided to screw her better than anyone else could have; go down on her better; tickle her better; cook a meal better; and, eventually, love her better.

I now consider every guy she'd been with a weenie-ass pussy loser, not worth a minute of my time.

You have the power to stop thinking about the bad stuff. It can be a very hard thing to do, but it is possible. Beating her up for things you both did in the past will destroy any chances you have. It sounds like you are getting close to doing that.

well if u didnt want her fucking other guys u shouldnt fuck other girls lol i believe my gf has never fucked any other guys because i dont do shit with any other girls but i still feel like shes lieing -.-....er sry lol got off topic...well if u dont want her doing something just dont do it urself and visa versa, learn off each other and....fuck if i know, too busy thinking about the fat sack im getting tonight lol sry bro

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Originally Posted by 9ski9

Yeah, she'll get sick of it really fast. But it's your problem now... either get over it, or move on. Do you feel like you can trust her from this day on? Does she want to be exclusive? If so, then the ball's in your corner.

In the early stages of my current relationship, I decided to screw her better than anyone else could have; go down on her better; tickle her better; cook a meal better; and, eventually, love her better.

I now consider every guy she'd been with a weenie-ass pussy loser, not worth a minute of my time.

You have the power to stop thinking about the bad stuff. It can be a very hard thing to do, but it is possible. Beating her up for things you both did in the past will destroy any chances you have. It sounds like you are getting close to doing that.

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Yes, I feel like if we move in together I will be able to trust her again. In the beginning I screwed her to get a nut, but after a month and I decided I really cared about her so I started fucking her better and going down on her better, she says that I am the best lover she has ever had even better than those other guys she fucked, which I really believe, cause I made it better. But it just makes me sick to picture her with some other guy while she was telling me she wasn't for 4 fucking yrs..If u read my first thread I explained that I always told her about the other girls when she asked me, but she didn't even do that!! What do u mean that im getting close to beating her up for things we both did in the past? Elaborate pls..

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Originally Posted by 9ski9

Yeah, she'll get sick of it really fast. But it's your problem now... either get over it, or move on. Do you feel like you can trust her from this day on? Does she want to be exclusive? If so, then the ball's in your corner.

In the early stages of my current relationship, I decided to screw her better than anyone else could have; go down on her better; tickle her better; cook a meal better; and, eventually, love her better.

I now consider every guy she'd been with a weenie-ass pussy loser, not worth a minute of my time.

You have the power to stop thinking about the bad stuff. It can be a very hard thing to do, but it is possible. Beating her up for things you both did in the past will destroy any chances you have. It sounds like you are getting close to doing that.

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Listen to this guy, he knows wot he's talking about :)

cool post btw

Porkchop, I think the only reason she didn't tell you from the very beginning what she had done was because she knew how bad it felt to listen to the things you had done. Really I think she was trying to spare you all the details and how shitty they would make you feel. Then, she started to feel guilty, especially with moving in together gettting nearer and nearer, so she spilled her guts.

Just do what 9ski9 said, he's been there, do everything better than any other guy could. You obviously love her, you two will both get over it eventually.

If you have to know details, ask her what she liked about the other guys, but only if you can stand it. If it will kill you, don't ask, but, if you can, listen to her, you might learn some things about her that you never knew before. You can learn what really turns her on, and past the sexual part, you may learn how she really wants to be treated. Once you know what she likes, you will be the only one who can satisfy her, in bed, and in every other aspect.

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Originally Posted by Porkchop

Yes, I feel like if we move in together I will be able to trust her again. In the beginning I screwed her to get a nut, but after a month and I decided I really cared about her so I started fucking her better and going down on her better, she says that I am the best lover she has ever had even better than those other guys she fucked, which I really believe, cause I made it better. But it just makes me sick to picture her with some other guy while she was telling me she wasn't for 4 fucking yrs..If u read my first thread I explained that I always told her about the other girls when she asked me, but she didn't even do that!! What do u mean that im getting close to beating her up for things we both did in the past? Elaborate pls..

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Ha, thanks Lulu...my third wife's a charm...

Beating her up emotionally, not physically. You found something out and now you are torturing yourself with images and also beating her up with words. You are now at a crossroad in your relationship. It wouldn't hurt to do some relationship counseling. Most therapists work on a sliding scale, so it could be as little as $25 a week.
But you can also just decide to start over with her. Let go of the past and pick some upcoming day as the new beginning of your relationship.
'Dude, if you screw up with this girl, then what is your next GF doing right at this moment? You can learn to let things go and move on, or face a lifetime of bad thoughts.

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Originally Posted by 9ski9

Ha, thanks Lulu...my third wife's a charm...

Beating her up emotionally, not physically. You found something out and now you are torturing yourself with images and also beating her up with words. You are now at a crossroad in your relationship. It wouldn't hurt to do some relationship counseling. Most therapists work on a sliding scale, so it could be as little as $25 a week.
But you can also just decide to start over with her. Let go of the past and pick some upcoming day as the new beginning of your relationship.
'Dude, if you screw up with this girl, then what is your next GF doing right at this moment? You can learn to let things go and move on, or face a lifetime of bad thoughts.

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We have talked about therapy, but I just can't let this go that easily, it is in my brain 24/7, and im fucking sick of thinking about this shit.. Has anyone else faced the same problem? If yes, how did u handle it? What was the outcome?

Yea man my current girlfriend is always talking about her Ex's and what they did, it drives me nutz but shes with me now and im a better man then they were. Not quit the same thing but i felt like id share.

We just had our first official Sunset together out on the lake tonight=) it was awesome, a natural high we sat there for hours just talking and holding hands feel like a 15-16 year old again=P even tho shes the one in my signature i forgave her=P

i meant to say not quite*

i dont think you actualy love her,if you did you would put your love before your lust,think about what you call love and think about wether or not it really is love

I dont think its the cheating for him as much as it is the lying.
If together she may or may not cheat but if you were always up front she should have been with you also.
However your a dude and to most dudes its ok to cheat but not for the girls as guys have some kinda ego trip.
Like thinking if your a better lover if your dick is bigger or nicer then his/thiers etc...
Well plain and simple it isnt going to get any better and if you ask her who the better lover is of course she will say you are and will tell him he is.
Not so much as to lie about it but to not hurt eithers feelings.
Think of it this way she had fucked guys before she meet you.
As long as you werent tapping sloppy seconds and she was clean then you shouldnt have a problem.
However if your ego wont let you cope then say fuck it and roll out.
anyways its just sex and the relationship is with you so either enjoy the fruits or say fuck it.
Later

man Kronic ur very blunt=P

i dont mean to hurt anyones feeling at all but i think it could save him alot more greif in the long run,i dont think it would have been good to sugar coat it,sometimes an easy let down is a good thing but not(i think) in situations like this.once again sorry if i offend anyone or make anyone feel worse(feeling shitty sucks and feeling worse doesnt help) :)

dident mean it like that i just meant ur very blunt its nice to see someone who doesent suger coat everything.

oh,ok,but still dont want anyone getting the wrong vibes :)

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Originally Posted by HighTimeStoner

I dont think its the cheating for him as much as it is the lying.
If together she may or may not cheat but if you were always up front she should have been with you also.
However your a dude and to most dudes its ok to cheat but not for the girls as guys have some kinda ego trip.
Like thinking if your a better lover if your dick is bigger or nicer then his/thiers etc...
Well plain and simple it isnt going to get any better and if you ask her who the better lover is of course she will say you are and will tell him he is.
Not so much as to lie about it but to not hurt eithers feelings.
Think of it this way she had fucked guys before she meet you.
As long as you werent tapping sloppy seconds and she was clean then you shouldnt have a problem.
However if your ego wont let you cope then say fuck it and roll out.
anyways its just sex and the relationship is with you so either enjoy the fruits or say fuck it.
Later

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ur fucking right, I was always straight up with her, and when I wanted her to be straight up with me she fucking lied, and Kronic king u weren't that blunt, u just told me ur opinion and I respect that Thanx.

Has she has been lying for years and been with all kinds of people, or just recently had sex with someone else and told you about it? there is a big difference in the two.

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Originally Posted by ScarlettCrush

Has she has been lying for years and been with all kinds of people, or just recently had sex with someone else and told you about it? there is a big difference in the two.

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she has been lying from the beginning but hasn't been with all kinds of people, thank god, but tell me the difference in the 2 pls.

the difference is, a lie she kept for years, or a lie she kept for a few days.

I think you get what you give in life, and this is a prime example. I hope you learn from it and grow.

[QUOTE=maryjanemama][
[b]If you have to know details, ask her what she liked about the other guys, but only if you can stand it. If it will kill you, don't ask,
Ok, I talked to her just now, and I got alot more details, but then my phone card ran out so I have to call her back in a few hours. But on a good note I feel a little better now. But I have 1 more issue, now I think of her like a dirty little slut when we talk about that shit, but in a way, it kind of turns me on to think of her like that. is this strange?

[QUOTE=Porkchop]

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Originally Posted by maryjanemama

[
[b]If you have to know details, ask her what she liked about the other guys, but only if you can stand it. If it will kill you, don't ask,
Ok, I talked to her just now, and I got alot more details, but then my phone card ran out so I have to call her back in a few hours. But on a good note I feel a little better now. But I have 1 more issue, now I think of her like a dirty little slut when we talk about that shit, but in a way, it kind of turns me on to think of her like that. is this strange?

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Nope, not at all!! Mr. Mary gets turned on by listening me talk dirty to other men when I work. I don't think it's weird at all.

Note: If he ever knew I revealed that, he'd probably kill me. ;)

ROFL porkchop i like u, someone who is confused by wemon and what to do about them more then i am! lol GL bro.

oh yea Dirty Talk is a +, try bringing up LLamas in ur dirty talk it can be fun=)(ROFL)

If you can do it, no reason she should not be able to as well. Fair is fair.