The thing I have heard is that for every person you tell, you increase the odds that you will get caught by 20%. Tell 5 people, and it is a near certainty that you will get busted. So, tell no one.
Here is what I have done for security. There is a war on drugs you know, and they seem to think that MJ is a dangerous drug... so if you are stupid and want to get caught, they will oblige you.
First, FLIR is not magic and as said it is very expensive to use. I have an indoor personal grow with no direct venting to the outside. My grow is inside a foil lined canvas tent, inside of the house. The only heat sources are a space heater and 8 florescent bulbs, which don't throw out enough heat to be noticeable. I am not worried about them "spotting" me. I have invested in my operation with proper air scrubbing equipment too. My grandmother can visit, and still have no idea what is going on in the spare bedroom, even with her incredible nose.
Any purchases having to do with this have been on pre-paid credit cards and the shipments went to a relative who could warn me if anyone came looking for information.
My biggest worry is the internet. Here I have protected myself with a dummy email account, running into another dummy account set up years ago with a friend's information, who again would warn me if there were any inquiries. Anytime I am on the forum or search for things to do with my hobby, I use TOR
Download Tor to change my IP address. I am not an activist (until I go somewhere that allows me to do this legally) nor do I post my picture or my real information anywhere.
Also, learn your rights. You do not have to submit to a search without a warrant and you never have to allow an officer to come into your home just because they ask. Don't be stupid.
Just use your head if you are not in a situation where it is legal, and keep it small. If you must go big time, for pity sake, don't live where you grow and hide all trails that might lead back to you. A friend of mine in Florida used to find homeless people to take in that would unwittingly put their names on houses, cars, boats etc. before they moved on to do that thing that street people do so well, disappear. The authorities rely on criminals being stupid. The smart ones rarely get caught unless they make a mistake.
Emmie