3:32 pm November 2, 2009, by Steve Rose
On Saturday I came in to read police reports. I don??t normally do that on a Saturday, but I??m way behind and was out of town so, given the lousy weather, I decided to come in and catch up.
Here??s what I came away with:
A lot of people smoke pot. Yep, as if this is a surprise, it??s in fact true. Here??s a list of facts:
A lot of people smoke pot. We established that.
A lot of people smoke pot when other stuff happens.
Examples of ??other stuff happens?:
- Domestic violence or other arguments where someone calls the police.
- Loud parties.
- Loud parties where the upstairs neighbors call the cops about the smell.
A lot of people smoke pot in their cars. (None of them get speeding tickets.) They do get tickets for the following:
- Driving too slow
- Driving with improper lane usage??later contributed to the driver trying to open the Twinkies wrapper.
- Driving with improper lane usage??later contributed to intense head-banging to the CD.
- Getting lost.
- Getting lost again.
The reason we know that a lot of people smoke pot in the car is mostly due to the silly-stupid things they get into. First of all, don??t forget that regardless of your views, pot is illegal. That being said, when the cops pull your car over and find the ashtray full and the baggie on the console, you??re probably going to get charged with it. In some cases, the charges are left with a citation but most cases involve other things that lend the driver to a trip to jail.
We arrest a lot of people who were driving around, smoking pot, in a car with stolen tags or tags that have expired registration or no insurance. If you didn??t know, your tag says a lot about you. Insurance and any warrant info are on the tag registration. Knowing that, why smoke? The least you could do is warn the passengers that your tags are expired, you have no insurance, and your car is stolen. I??m sure they would want to know that before toking up. Talk about paranoid.
Pot is a material object. You can see it. The car is a material object and you can see that too. There is no magical invisible place inside the car. This includes the console, ashtray and under the driver??s or passenger??s seat. Once the probable cause is there, the cops are going to check further. Probable cause includes the piles of smoke that exit the window when you roll it down after being pulled over. I can tell you that in a given week, we probably have two dozen arrests in cars and apartments on small misdemeanor cases of marijuana possession because it was there to be seen.
- A man called the police and reported that his friend stole his i-Pod. The officer walked in and found the man??s pot, scale and bong on the kitchen table. Fact: Pot makes you forget to do important things ?? like hiding your pot.
- A man calls the police to report that his friend took his pot! No kidding.
Fact: Pot makes you think that dumb things are rational.
- A man calls the police and asks when he can pick up his pot. He was arrested for public drunkenness and had a little pot on him at the time. He wasn??t charged with the pot. Fact: Pot makes dumb people dumber.
- Several people who were in a car were arrested for underage possession of alcohol and possession of marijuana and related objects: bongs, pipes (the ceramic ones), one-hitters and several hits of Ecstasy. They were driving in one direction when they saw several cop cars with blue lights on down the road on a cross street. They turned onto the road going out of the way to see what they thought was an accident. It wasn??t an accident. It was a safety road-and-seat-belt check.
If you??re stopped and you??ve got pot on you, you might stay away from these well-worn excuses:
- The Oregano Syndrome: Oregano is commonly used as a spice for food. It??s normally contained in a metal can or plastic container. It is almost never transported in plastic baggies and never has stems in it. Oregano smells like oregano and not like pot. Chefs never travel with unmarked oregano. Oregano is plentiful and there is little need to transport it.
- ??That??s Not Mine,? otherwise known as ??The Guy? reason: This is the guy who was in your car and left his pot in the seat. He doesn??t have a last name and the driver was just giving the guy a ride. He doesn??t know him well.
- Astonishment Syndrome: The Astonishment Syndrome requires some acting and good luck with that ?? especially if you??re stoned. ??I have no idea where that came from!!!!? That also might be ??The Guy? who not only leaves it in your car, he plants it, too.
Look, just stay home. Life gives you enough paranoia. Why magnify it?
