Originally Posted by donny101
Alright, so let me start out with some background information about me. I'm a 17 year old male who makes fairly good grades (mostly A's and B's :thumbsup: ) I've been diagnosed with social anxiety and depression and have suffered on and off for a good portion of my high school career. I first smoked weed with several of my friends around 2 years ago.
The first time I ever smoked I took several hits and out of a pipe and didn't feel anything. I still remember to this day them trying to explain to me that it felt like there was an earthquake :D I continued smoking with them maybe once every month or 2 and we had fun times listening to music and just chilling out. I always remember that I was the one who would seem a little higher or more "out of control" than anyone else. Anyways, I always had positive experiences.
My junior year in high school I stopped smoking for around a year because my girlfriend disapproved :( When we broke up, I decided to get more seriously into marijuana out of curiosity.
The first time I smoked again was with a few friends (different than ever before) and even though I hadn't smoked in a long long time, I felt higher than ever before. It was still very fun though.
I've also eaten weed brownies a few times as well. I remember one time I only ate maybe 1/8 of a brownie about 3x3 inch, and I was the most relaxing high I've ever had in my entire life. In my head I felt like I was completely there, yet I was just happy all over and it felt like I had downed a couple Vicodon pills. No headache, no worries, just happiness all over :D
On another note, my friend recently got me a dub of some OG Kush from a medical marijuana dispensery down in LA. I decided one weekend to stay home instead of going out with friends and just take a few hits by myself, then lay down in bed while listening to some music through headphones. I had a pretty fun, yet relaxing experience and fell asleep around 2 hours after the first toke.
The next few nights I decided to smoke again, doing the same thing as I did the first night, but smoking a little more than before. One night, specifically a Tuesday, I took about 3 huge pipe hits of this stuff, and everything seemed to be going how it usually was. It wasn't until I was laying in bed listening to my music that I realized I was higher than I'd ever been in my entire life. I closed my eyes and I had the craziest trip of my life. I started picturing mario from super mario 64 and I was flying through the sky. Each time I pictured something it transitioned into something completely random but it seemed to flow perfectly well in my mind. I opened my eyes and the room seemed waaaaayyy darker than before. I started freaking out. My heart was beating extremely fast. I looked over at the clock and only 15 minutes had passed by. I turned back and I could still see the outline of the time in front of me from my digital clock for a few seconds. Then I started staring at 2 pictures hanging across the room from me. The more I noticed them the more that was all I could think about until suddenly they seemed to be a pair of angry eyes. I actually remember a small amount of light that was shining in looking like an evil smile. One picture seemed a lot more red and the other was really green. Usually by now I would be able to let my mind relax just fall asleep, but for some reason I couldn't. I shot up out of bed, ripped my headphones off, and just stared out ahead of me blankly. I knew at this point that something was NOT right. I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and saw my face and flipped out. I moved my head towards and away from the mirror slowly, and it felt like there was a completely different head across from me coming towards me. I was pacing back and forth freaking out telling myself that I did not like this at all and that I felt like I was going to die. I think I almost began to cry. I tried splashing water on my face and putting in eyedrops; anything that would calm me down. Nothing worked. I tried to tell myself that it was all in my head and that it would pass just like the other nights. Suddenly, I looked forward at the mirror and froze, as if I had a life changing revelation. My head then slowly dropped back and my eyes closed while staring at the ceiling. I remember feeling like god personally came down to save me from this terrible nightmare. But when I opened my eyes, i freaked out again. I went back to my room and laid down again and tried to go to sleep but I was freaking out too much. I wanted to kill myself. Time was moving by soooo slowly and every small movement I made seemed to last a whole five seconds.
Throughout that night at some point I remember being so freaked out that I took out my phone and went to the notepad and typed this: "Never do drugs again. I feel like I'm dying. this isn't fun anymore. I have no control. I wanna go back down. There must be more than weed in this. This is fucking real I am way too high omg help me."
I think I just had an ENORMOUS panic attack, because my spelling was fine and I sounded coherent with what I typed.
Anyways, through some miracle i managed to fall asleep. I woke up the next morning expecting to go to school, but my head felt extremely groggy. I tried standing up to get ready for school but I immediately felt a blankness in my head; I still felt pretty high. I told my parents I felt sick and they said I could stay home. I fell back asleep and woke up at around noon and felt a little better. I got on the computer just to check my email (don't ask why) and started feeling worse. I basically slept that entire day and felt better by the next morning and went to school (though I still felt lightheaded)
After this seemingly life changing experience :thumbsup: I decided to take a break from smoking for a while. A few weeks later I decided to smoke that same OG Kush late at night, but very cautiously, and I mean VERY cautiously. I literally packed a nug in my pipe the size of an eraser on the tip of a standard pencil. After smoking it all in one huge hit, I got a huge headache which bothered my all night (but i still got high :rasta: ) It was hard to sleep but I eventually slept it off.
A few days later i tried smoking again, but this time i literally smoked ONE LEAF the size of a PENCIL TIP. EVEN THIS MADE ME FEEL HIGHER THAN I HAD EVER GOTTEN WHEN I FIRST STARTED SMOKING, yet I could actually function.
What is wrong with me? I used to smoke 2 to 3 bowls shared between 2 other friends when I first started smoking and be perfectly fine, now I can't even take a hit without freaking out? Am I just getting really really really good shit? Was I just smoking some schwag the first few times I smoked?
The thing I want to get most out of this post is:
1) if there is such a thing, find some type of smokable weed that has the same effect as I discussed with my weed brownie experience
2) be able to smoke without getting those nasty headaches :(
3) figure out why I had such a horrible experience that I never have had any other time while high
4) as stated in the first paragraph, I've suffered from severe anxiety for a long time, and I would love it if there was some way I could smoke weed and feel care free, or find some strain of weed that is like this (I've heard strawberry cough works wonders?)
5) I've heard that I should look for a sativa dominant strain to help cheer me up and make me more alert so I don't freak out, yet I've also heard that sativas are bad for people with anxiety. I've also heard that Indica dominant strains are better for people with anxiety and chill you out more. What should I look for?
I would like to thank anybody who actually took the time to read through this entire thing, even though a majority of it is probably completely unnecessary. I felt as if I had to share how I've been feeling lately somehow; it's been bothering me nonstop.
Any sort of feedback, suggestions, or simply insight is GREATLY appreciated!
