Waiting + Dilute or Substitution

Hi Everyone,
This is my first post but I have been lurking here for the past few weeks. I am a healthcare employee, and have recently been offered a position at a hospital about 45 min closer to my home. I recieved the call on September 27 and have not smoked since then. I am 6'5 235lbs and fairly active as I am performing procedures on patients all day. I smoked every night when I got home from work and went through about a 1/4 every two weeks. Quality wasnt very high, just regs. My job interview is on October 12 so I am guessing at the very latest I can push a drug screen back to October 19. I already pushed the interview back two weeks so I cant keep asking for more time.
I went and purchased some One Step drug tests and took one tonight when I got home and failed. No line showed at all. I didnt pee for about 10 hours prior though as I dont really get a break at work. I am guessing I only have about 5-12 more days to be clean before I am asked to go for the urine test. I am not sure if they will be watching or not, so I am nervous about bringing in a substitute sample, especially after hearing some people failed with quickfix. I really cannot screw this up as I am a friend of the person who requested I go work there. The medical community is small and everyone knows everyone. I am close to turning the job down but it is really going to help with my gas and mileage costs, not to mention its an increase in pay of 10k a year.
If you were in my predicament what would you do? Would you just keep abstaining and then dilute, or would you take the risk that they may want to do a physical when they perform the test along with the required fingerprinting and bring in a substitute. I know it has been asked a 100 times here and it has been beaten to death. I figured I can post and hopefully someone knowledgable can lead me to the correct choice. If you do say to substitute should I go with the quickfix (if so which batch) or the powdered urine that is under the sticky on this forum. Thanks for all of your help in advance, keep up the good work.

I would doubt that dillution is going to work for you but don't give up.
Eat a high fiber diet with metamucil up to 3 days before the UA then switch to a high fat red meat diet. Continue to home test yourself every couple of days to see how you're doing.
And have a backup plan. Synthetic Urine. QuickFix still works fine. You won't be observed. So pickup a bottle and practice with it to keep the temp right.
So if you're not clean by UA time just sub.
If you do get clean still use some dillution the morning of the UA to give yourself a little added insurance.

Hi,
Thanks for your reply. I went ahead and purchased some quickfix with overnight shipping. I couldnt find the 3oz bottle anywhere so I purchased the 2oz, I hope that will be enough for the test. I am going to use the sub, but now am a little nervous if once I come out she asks for more urine. If she does what should I do then. Thanks

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I went ahead and purchased some quickfix with overnight shipping. I couldnt find the 3oz bottle anywhere so I purchased the 2oz, I hope that will be enough for the test. I am going to use the sub, but now am a little nervous if once I come out she asks for more urine. If she does what should I do then.

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For starters, dont be nervous at all. You keep a firm stance and inform the collector thats all the sample you were able to void.

2 ounces is enough for any U/A. Some collectors may ask for more, only to dump the excess after splitting/tranferring into vials for processing. But if 2 oz is all the donor can submit, the collector has to accept it.

If I crotch it by my taint should i still use the heating pad?

Usually you don't need the heating pad. Just nuke it for 10 seconds and stick it in your crotch. Check it a hlaf hour or so while you're practicing to see how its doing. You can reheat QF multiple times without hurting it.

Thank you for the replies. I am really nervous but feel alot better with the advice you have given. I will practice once I recieve it. Thanks again

Just for everyones information, Day 16 home test still positive, glad the quickfix 5.7 is arriving tomorrow.

Just wanted to drop an update. I went for my interview and everything went well. I was told it will be over a week till I find out and if I get offered the position, the drug test will take place on October 26th. I hope by then I will be able to pee clean, let me know what you think. It will be 29 days on that date since the last time I smoked. I tested positive last night, received my quick fix 5.7 today in the mail as a backup. I have three at home tests left, I will check again on day 22 and post my results, than again on the 25th if I end up getting the job. Hopefully this will help some people the ballpark figure of how long it actually takes for someone around my size to have clean urine specimens. Thanks again and talk to you all soon.

I was just in a similar situation. I was clean for 16 days and realized i would not have more than 18 days from my last smoke session to stay clean, the hiring process moved faster than expected. i still failed a home test at day 15 (healthy 5'9 165lb at the gym at least 4 days a week) still failing after 15 days and drug screen on day 18, i am subbing no matter what! I got a friend going to donate on day of test, i practiced walking with 3oz bottle of water in the taint with a hand warmer, held a temp of 99 -100 for 2 hours cositently after microwave for 10 seconds. i was checking temp with digital thermometer I am sold on subbing, as i cant risk dilution failing a home test so close to the real test.

If you only have 29 days dont risk it, unless you pee first pee of morning clean for 2 days in a row, (doubtfull)

Just sub and start smoking again...

My only concern is the bottle can make a splashing noise in your pants when walking if not carefull. I am using a small bottle similar to travel shampoo.

Update; I got the job and I start on November 9th. I was asked to go on October 19th and take a pre employment health screen. What is a pre employment health screen for a hospital. Does this mean a complete physical. Should I call and ask exactly what I will be asked to do or just go with the flow. Right now I am doing a trial run with some quickfix in my taint area to test temperature. I walked a bit outside as it is about 30 degrees here and bitterly cold. That way it takes care of the walk from the car ect. I am just concerned about having it tucked away and then be asked to put a gown on so they can make me cough. I really cannot screw this up as it is a long time coworker who is now a boss and wants me aboard. I am afraid to ask because I do not want to raise red flags. Let me know what you deem to believe a pre employment health screen to be. Thanks

After having the quick fix in my taint area with no heating pack, the temp on the side reads only 94, so I am guessing I should use the heating pack provided and just cool when used. I cant pre test the heating pack so I was wondering how hot the heating pack will keep it. Will it get too hot? Thanks

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Originally Posted by birdman02

Update; I got the job and I start on November 9th. I was asked to go on October 19th and take a pre employment health screen. What is a pre employment health screen for a hospital. Does this mean a complete physical. Should I call and ask exactly what I will be asked to do or just go with the flow. Right now I am doing a trial run with some quickfix in my taint area to test temperature. I walked a bit outside as it is about 30 degrees here and bitterly cold. That way it takes care of the walk from the car ect. I am just concerned about having it tucked away and then be asked to put a gown on so they can make me cough. I really cannot screw this up as it is a long time coworker who is now a boss and wants me aboard. I am afraid to ask because I do not want to raise red flags. Let me know what you deem to believe a pre employment health screen to be. Thanks

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Will probably be a complete physical. You may have to transfer the QF and the heat pad into a pocket for a while till they do the physical and then transfer it back into your crotch. You'll just have to kind of play it by ear.
They make take a small blood sample too to check kidney and liver function. They may do a drug test with the blood,doubtful. But if they do just be sure to not smoke 3 or 4 days before the test.

Update again: I recieved an email stating that it will be a complete physical and that a drug screening is not performed at this time because I am subject to random drug screenings. I will still go prepared with quickfix just in case this is a way to "pull the wool over my eyes and not be prepared." I just wanted to say thank you killerweed and everyone else who has helped me. I will continue to check to see when I pee clean. I checked last night, still tested positive on day 18. I have two left, so I will test again in a week or so and post results. I am hoping this shows people that it really does take a long time to be clean. It now looks as though I will be a former smoker until it becomes legalized. Thanks again

Hi, I just got the job and turned in my two week notice to my current employer. No drug test was obtained at this time, but they told me they will test me within my start date and three months, and then randomly up to 4 times a year. I will once again take a home test around November 5th and post results for everyone, by then I will be at 40 days. I only have two left right now so I want to wait a little longer to ensure I am clean before I start. I am asking for the thread not to be closed yet, so I can post results and maybe save some people questions that are similar to height and weight as me. I saw alot of posts with times of detection, but noone similar in the 6'5-6'6 in height and about 240lbs. Wish everyone well and I am now a permanently retired smoker. Time to quit the cigs now as well, nothing to cover up anymore. Thanks everyone

Or eventually move to state with legal MMJ and get an authorization. Then you don't have to babysit your employer any more.

Killerweed if you hypothetically had a med card, would one have to jump through the bull shit of a pee test? What's up with that? I got a situation, I smoked today and found out my test will be on Monday its thursday now and I will be clean for fri,sat,sun, and mon before test and was wondering what the best method for me would be. I know it was supervised before but it's for a pre-employement screen in Washington for a county job. I was wondering if shy-bladder syndrome was a real thing or if that was a way out of being observed? Please Help as I've seen you have quite the history of posts, Thanks

Bump on this original topic... I will be fully diluted and passing a home THC test prior to going to clinic with 4oz of clean fresh human urine at 96-99 degrees ready to go in my pants .... I should substitute assuming all goes smooth instead of risking a diluted negative, Right?? Was looking for some reassurance out there please :) Test will be Wednesday of next week Pre-Employment .

I would bring the clean urine either way. What the hell, you already have it. Just hide it really well. Remember that some places may ask you to empty your pockets, so I would hide it in my underwear instead of my pants.

Start out using the clean urine. If something goes wrong, like maybe the temperature is not right, then you can fall back to giving a diluted sample. You win either way, but the clean urine is a 100% win.

Good Luck!

thanks for the reassurance. I've been practicing for temperature trying to get it down to a science and it's not as easy as I thought... the toe warmers I am using (tucked in the third pair of tidey wideys) get very hot and the temp is rising to 102-103 after only about 45 minutes... if I get rid of the toe warmers then the temp is dropping from 100 to 96 in about the same time frame .... better to be warm than cool I know ... I think i am going to add a towel layer over the 4oz shampoo bottle to deflect heat.

I usually only use the heat pads if I have to transfer it to my pocket for awhile. Otherwise it stays in the 98 range for a couple hours if I just stick it in my crotch.
If the temp is a little high when you pour it into the collection cup just blow on it.
If the temp is a little low rub your thumb against your clothes for a couple seconds then hold it against the temp strip, when it syas 98 walk out of the room,

UPDATE: Day 36 First Urine Midstream, still testing Positive. Used One Screen at home test still testing positive. Getting a little nervous as I begin my new job next week and they have random tests. I am hoping that I will be clean by then. I hope I will be clean by day 43. If not I have no idea what I will do.

I would just be prepared to sub just in case. Its not hard to sub with randoms, just have a plan.

Hi Killerweed,
Just wanted to say thank you again for all of your insight. As you know I did purchase some quickfix 5.7 to be safe. I do work inside a hospital and have never done a random test in my life. I did quit smoking 36 days ago and being my new job on day 43. I was wondering if you knew the process of how a hospital employee gets asked to do a random, do they give you a window or do you have to urinate on demand. I can have the quickfix in my jacket but I dont want to waste a hand warmer ever day to try and keep it at the temperature. You told me to have a plan but I have no idea of where to begin. I read your coffee cup idea on another board but we are not allowed to have beverages where I work. My idea was to keep the quickfix in my jacket with a hand warmer ready to go in case. But I dont know how long it would take for the quickfix to heat up with one hand warmer. I am also worried about how quickly and if they will let me out of their sight once they announce I have to take one. We do not have a microwave on hand so that is out the window as well. Let me know what your plan would be. I really do want to thank you for taking time out of your day to help others. That is really kind of you. Also I am leaving to Sierra Leone in Africa in about two weeks to do some missionary work. My guess is my new place of employment will hit me before I go as they did not request a pre employment drug screening. I have one at home drug test remaining and will probably try it next week again, of course hoping with all of hope that I will finally be clean. Thanks again

Don't work in a hospital so don't know how they work it there.
Here's what I do. If I have access to a microwave, I keep the QF one of those BIG coffee cups. Tell the tech you need a cup of coffee because I'm not ready to pee yet. Nuke the cup for 10 seconds, and then when the chance arises I move the QF to my crotch. Also you can stall the UA by again just saying you're not ready to pee yet, activate the heat pad in your pocket wrapped around the QF. At the first opportunity I move it to my crotch. Pickup some cheap heat pads from the dollar stor and practice to see how long it takes to heat the QF up. And just be relaxed, nobody pees on command and you're getting paid by the hour so there's no hurry.

Killerweed, I noticed that you are extremely insightful and I would like to ask you a question. I have a physical/drug screen in a week from today i already have QF 5.7 and i am testing getting the temp. correct right now. I was just wondering if I sew a pocket in my briefs to hold the QF, would that go un-noticed throughout the physical? I am just wondering because i am nervous that they will not allow me to put my clothes back on before i take the test. Ive never done it before so i am just wondering. f you could please help me out i would reallllly appreciate it. Just trying to ease my mind. thanks!

UPDATE DAY 63: My last at home drug test. I was waiting to see if I would pass yet. Woke up, pissed into a cup using the first urine of the day with everything into one container. Tested and had an extremely faint line that I could barely see. I though for sure by day 63 I would have a dark line but I did not. I guess it still counts as a pass as there was something in the spot but in now way was it easily visible. I am guessing if I tested my third urine of the day or later it would of been a clearer line so I am guessing if I get tested at work by now, I am in the clear. But for anyone close to my size, it definately takes longer than 30 days, at least it did for me. So either try to abstain from smoking for a long time or use a substitution method. I am still a little worried as the line was so faint it was barely visible but according to some on this site it counts as a pass. Thanks for your help and best of luck.