Raising children with my disbelief of religion...

OK So just to start out, I was raised as a Catholic/Cristian....so that's basically what most of my family is. I recently decided that I no longer believe in religion due to inconsistencies and what not....but here's where the problem comes in...
I have three children who already have the understanding of Jesus and basic Christianity which was originally influenced by the mother and I, plus grandparents, and I'm a little confused on how and what I should teach them now that our belief has changed. I certainly don't want to confuse them, but then again, I don't want to be a hypocrite by teaching them something I don't believe in.

This is something I can really use some unbiased opinion on so any feedback will be considered thnx

I would be honest with them and tell them you don't know. As they get older, educate them on both sides of the issue and let them decide. I wouldn't take them to organized churchs. If they seem interested read the bible with them so you can explain some of the stuff to them. And when they're young I think I would skip over some of the nastier books in the old testement.

Don't forget about telling them the real truth about Santa, Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy.... also the Great Pumpkin, Leprechauns, and the elusive Snipe!

So many children have been raised with such crazy lies.... A lie is a lie whether it's for fun or fear of damnation. And we wonder why things are so out of control today... Do your children a favor and EDUCATE them. Like KW420 said, educate them to the best of your ability and let them make their own choices for what to believe in.

Deluding their impressionable minds with half-truths, imaginary characters, and theories that can not be backed up with measurable data is definitely not the way to prepare them for survival in the real world.

Sure, you'll most likely be criticized for your non-traditional ways of raising them, but just remember that a "tradition" is more or less a superstitious practice that demands that one must follow it without question based on the only fact that it's always been done that way and must ALWAYS be done that way... A sign of growing up (waking up) is to break tradition and improve upon the past teachings to best suit our whole environment; progress.

Religion is still something I would never like to see legislated in any way or banned. Its a personal issue and some people really need the comfort of believing that there is more to life than just here on earth. I wouldn't want to take that away from anybody.

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Originally Posted by killerweed420

I would be honest with them and tell them you don't know. As they get older, educate them on both sides of the issue and let them decide. I wouldn't take them to organized churchs. If they seem interested read the bible with them so you can explain some of the stuff to them. And when they're young I think I would skip over some of the nastier books in the old testement.

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I couldn't agree more. Expose them to both sides and embrace their choice.

My kid's know that im a non-believer.However when discussing thing's like death...I Will sometime's admit that i may be wrong.I try to explain that my belief,does not have to be their's. It's a tricky thing to discuss with kid's becouse i dont want to take away the "hope" that we may meet again in another place.Education is the key,show them both side's an let them decide what's right for them.


Dive:stoned:

Thats why its best to wait until there atleast in the teens to have a serious discussion about the facts involved with religion. Religions have a terrible history on this planet. Kids should not be subjected to a lot of the old testement till they're older.

The teacher and the student must create the learning together. My son is now 15 and we discuss every religion and cult known. We have for many years. We take the best from all theachings. Morals are not exclusive to the ritechous. Being a good person and treating others right is what matters.

You have a past that holds you back, it can be very hard to break that without hurting many you love. Peace.

I greatly appreciate all advice...very good points made and I will def. take all suggestions into consideration.

This is really a subject that filled my thoughts with consideration of many routes....it kinda just comes down to good ol' philosophy and moral teachings before anything else...then like you guys say...let them decide for themselves once they're old enough.

Keep 'em comin' y'all I'm still interested in your opinions....is there anybody else who has been through a similar situation as this???

I too come from a big Italian Catholic fam on my mom's side and Baptists on my fathers.. however, I'm just a spiritualist and find validity in whatever anyone jives with best. I have 6 and 8 year old and the conversation of religion doesn't go very far other than their grandma (my mom) who's been born again more than I care to count! LOL! I don't see the point in stuffing religion into kids.. they have no real concept of it anyways. So I just teach mine to be good kids and not little snot heads, which basically just means to be respectful and treat people how they want to be treated. I'm also against the whole santa and easter bunny crap. My 6 year old is smart enough to already know better though and last year noticed way too many santa's out at stores and said "yeah mom, I think it's just some guys dressed up in costumes". Just at his birthday this month, someone brought up santa and the whole how they track him on tv.. my son turned and said "you believe everything on tv?" LOL!!!! Even as teenagers kids will form decisions they won't be truly happy with... I wouldn't worry about what they believe in anyways. No 2 people will ever have the same beliefs anyways; even within the same religion. :)

I can totally relate to this as my wifey is religious and im not. with our kids we teach them about the meanings of the holidays like xmas and such and we will do so until they can make up their own opinions. Just have to show your kids they can be good people without all the religious non sense they may find out there.

I am also a non believer but sometimes have wondered if people aren't better off believing in something, even if it's bullshit, if it makes them happier. Should I deny my children the comforting delusion of heaven? Man, I liked believing in Santa, I'm no better off now. I struggle with it, I wish there was more, but I don't think there is, but when my little guy tells me his gramas dog went to heaven, how do I tell him no? Life is suffering, and death is inevitable, but they haven't seen any of that yet. How long should we shelter the ones we love?

Of course there's still a chance that one of them crazy religions is actually right!

I think that they might eventually find the same inconsistencies that you found in religion by themselves. Otherwise, like someone else said, educate them about both sides: religion, athiesm and let them decide.

I typed inconsistencies into google to check spelling and the first thing to come up was 'Bible Inconsistencies: Bible Contradictions?' haha :)

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Originally Posted by Divestoned

My kid's know that im a non-believer.However when discussing thing's like death...I Will sometime's admit that i may be wrong.I try to explain that my belief,does not have to be their's. It's a tricky thing to discuss with kid's becouse i dont want to take away the "hope" that we may meet again in another place.Education is the key,show them both side's an let them decide what's right for them.


Dive:stoned:

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You took the words out of my mouth.Very well said!:smokin:

I haven't read previose posts

I would suggest you read the Da Vinci Code by dan brown(yes the movie one), it gives reader alot of information in the direction of the true origins of current and past religions. Give them the facts and opinions from all sides as you learn them yourself and let them decide which religion(or lack ther of) reflect what they feel. Teach your kid well and give them a buffet of choices to suit their needs.

ETA
As I read through the book I google as I go and evaluate the credibility and addition information out there that I read about.

not going to get into it much, just one thought i want to post...Personally I think religion helps children deal with Deaths of loved ones, much more comforting to think that loved ones have gone someplace good instead of thinking that loved ones no longer exist and their corpses are rotting and being eaten by worms. My stepson never really learned about religion as a youngin, and after his Grandmother died.. he got some mental damage from that, and sometimes I wonder if he would have been better off had he a education in religion. Actually had a conversation with a psychiatrist about this and he seemed to agree with the idea I was having.

I am in a similar situation. I was raised Baptist, but am now agnostic with deep respect for (though not strict belief in) Buddhism. I do my best to respect all religions, and try to convey that respect to my children, but they don't have any doubt as to what I believe.

When opportunities present themselves, I do my best to explain what other religions believe and what it might mean to those people while trying not to interject my own opinion of the topic too much.

My kids know with absolute certainty that I do not expect them to believe as I do, and I will not be disappointed or resentful if they choose another path. Religion/spirituality should be a deeply personal and private issue and is absolutely nobody else's business.

We raised our kids to believe what seemed most right to them. One is an Atheist, one is Agnostic, and one is a believer. Sort of the "Three Bears porridge" of religion I guess. :D

We exposed them to the Christian religion through church and Sunday school and discussed the other world religions and spirituality in general with them. We always encouraged them to study world religions to get a rounded view. Then we left it up to them to choose, but we never hid our own views either.

When a question of death comes up for children, how you approach it depends heavily on how old they are. However, telling them that no one really knows what happens after death and explaining that death is not necessarily the end worked for our children and didn't make us compromise what we believe either.