Attitudes towards depression

I'm sure there are other people here who are chronically melancholy, and you must know what I'm talking about here...the irritating and ignorant attitude of most people towards it. I've seen it on this site, in old and very recent threads, where people who speak of feeling badly are dealt with in the wrong manner.

What most people, it seems, will say, is something about remembering you have food on the table, that others are worse off, that you should just grow/cheer up, snap out of it. And all that is true, from a detachedly logical perspective...but the thing is, it's not a fucking rational thing. Rationally, you know there's no reason to feel this way, that it's a toxic feeling that you should just get rid of, that at least you're not living in some third world mud hut. Your logical faculties listen to this, but the rest of you doesn't listen. There's this all-pervasive attitude that depressives are just self-indulgent babies, and it pisses me off. No one wants to feel that way--if there was an easy road out, it would be taken, in a second.

I don't really experience this in my personal life, because I hide it at all times, but I've seen this view on it, and it's fucked. I tried to confide in a dear friend once, who pretty much gave me all the above shit...people just don't understand. Thoughts?

agreed

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Originally Posted by Revanche21

agreed

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Thank you. Someone always has it worse, but that doesn't make it any better....if a guy gets his leg cut off, you can tell him at least it wasn't both legs. Somehow I don't think he'll care.

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Originally Posted by overgrowthegovt

Thank you. Someone always has it worse, but that doesn't make it any better....if a guy gets his leg cut off, you can tell him at least it wasn't both legs. Somehow I don't think he'll care.

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As you have problems with my viewpoint, I have a problem with this viewpoint. You are melancholy. You can't help that. I'm happy-go-lucky. I can't help that either. And there's no denying it, one leg is better than no legs.

When life gives you lemons, you can either make lemonade or say fuck the lemons and bail. Personally I kinda like pink lemonade.

I agree, however I feel that there's more to what these people are trying to do when they say something like "there's worse situations you could be in". I believe that a statement like that works to reinforce positivity. And psychologically, that has its benefits, wouldn't you agree?
Someone who is depressed cannot possibly be hurt by hints of positivity. While they don't provide a cure to the main problem, they may help to discover one.

Just my two cents.:hippy:

Mabey you should talk to someone trained in these things.
Not regular people, even your friends, I know when people start confiding in me or letting off a load to say. My mind just shuts down, as soon as I hear im so this and that, I get in that mood, and feel like saying, "well cowboy the fuck up then"(I am by no means a cowboy but you get the idea, we use it alot here). I know this is not right but half the time people around me, just need a reality check and not therapy or a shrink, but sometimes those aaround me do need someone to talk to. But I am not the logical one to ask, probley the same with most of your friends. I am to into working the problem not having the problem work me. But I cant solve anyone elses problem, just give my input which is usualy along the lines of, in the desert you cant cry over spiled milk.

FreshNugz...I agree with the good intentions part of it, and often that's generally the case (futile as it may be); it's only when said scathingly or condescendingly that it irks me.

Johnny...I see what you're saying, man. You did acknowledge that one's disposition can't really be helped, which I appreciate. With some it's more a question of having the lemons and really wanting to make lemonade but just not having hands strong enough to squeeze them.

MadSativa....I'm guessing no one confides in you very often, if that's the response they get. People often feel ashamed of their feelings because of our whole stiff-upper-lip culture, so things tend to fester inside a lot.

^^ you would think they wouldnt, but they just keep on doing so

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Originally Posted by overgrowthegovt

Johnny...I see what you're saying, man. You did acknowledge that one's disposition can't really be helped, which I appreciate. With some it's more a question of having the lemons and really wanting to make lemonade but just not having hands strong enough to squeeze them.

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That was beautiful man, I mean it. Now you need to focus on the solution rather than the problem. The first step on the road to recovery is accepting that you have a problem, just like alcoholics man. I really do believe in everything I say too, I'm not just swatting some bullshit.

I guess you could always just buy lemonade crystals too..

I know someone who has 85% of their body scarred from 3rd degree burns, he doesn't have functional fingers, and can't do much of anything he once was able to the same way..until I have it worse off than he is, and until people I know have it worse than he does, there's no reason why someone should think that their life is miserable, because he sure doesn't have any problems accepting what he was handed out, nor should anybody else. If life was perfect, it wouldn't be life, it would be a dream.

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Originally Posted by Markass

If life was perfect, it wouldn't be life, it would be a dream.

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Did you steal that or is that your quote...I like it.

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Originally Posted by Markass

I know someone who has 85% of their body scarred from 3rd degree burns, he doesn't have functional fingers, and can't do much of anything he once was able to the same way..until I have it worse off than he is, and until people I know have it worse than he does, there's no reason why someone should think that their life is miserable, because he sure doesn't have any problems accepting what he was handed out, nor should anybody else. If life was perfect, it wouldn't be life, it would be a dream.

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Of course there's no reason why someone should think that their life is miserable, but they just do. They don't want to, and they know it's irrational, that they really have a lot going for them and that they live in the first world and don't have any burns, but it doesn't matter. I think that's a difficult concept for a lot of people to wrap their head around...rational thought does not enter into it in any way. I congratulate you on your optimism, but not everybody's capable of that...or at least, not easily capable. I really believe it can be achieved with A LOT of effort (I haven't given up).

JohnnyZ...I can tell you're sincere, for sure. I agree about focusing on the solution, too...I've been getting more fresh air, coming more and more out of my shell and trying to keep the inner anxiety to a minimum, and in two weeks I'll be going to a great academy to pursue what I love (acting). I'm trying here, it's just frustrating and it'll take many years, but I hope to one day be truly happy. In the meantime, it's great creativity fuel, so there are pros, too.

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Originally Posted by overgrowthegovt

I'm sure there are other people here who are chronically melancholy, and you must know what I'm talking about here...the irritating and ignorant attitude of most people towards it. I've seen it on this site, in old and very recent threads, where people who speak of feeling badly are dealt with in the wrong manner.

What most people, it seems, will say, is something about remembering you have food on the table, that others are worse off, that you should just grow/cheer up, snap out of it. And all that is true, from a detachedly logical perspective...but the thing is, it's not a fucking rational thing. Rationally, you know there's no reason to feel this way, that it's a toxic feeling that you should just get rid of, that at least you're not living in some third world mud hut. Your logical faculties listen to this, but the rest of you doesn't listen. There's this all-pervasive attitude that depressives are just self-indulgent babies, and it pisses me off. No one wants to feel that way--if there was an easy road out, it would be taken, in a second.

I don't really experience this in my personal life, because I hide it at all times, but I've seen this view on it, and it's fucked. I tried to confide in a dear friend once, who pretty much gave me all the above shit...people just don't understand. Thoughts?

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I don't think people can understand unless they experienced the same things themselves. Something like social situations, some people have no qualms about it, even thrive in the environment. Others, they run away from it, they fear it, they get anxious. But when someones give an answer like that, it doesn't mean that they are trying to not be helpful and not to understand. How is someone capable of understanding unless they went through it in your own eyes?

I understand the state of constant melancholy. Even when I'm totally happy, there's apart of me with a heart that's still black. While depression may not seem rational and you don't know what is causing it, deep down, I'm sure you in some way know what it is, but you are such in deep denial about it, you don't want to admit it.

Damn right I agree with you that most of the time, people won't understand. But it doesn't discount the good intentions they have in their heart.

Some don't understand, some are frustrated that they won't get "better", some did get "better" and think others can do the same in the same way, the list goes on and on...

What it all comes down to is supporting these people and trying to help them on an individual level, talk to people, don't let someone carry the weight of the world on their shoulders alone, talk is probably the most powerful medication I can think of.

I know when I was about 4 or 5 and depressed/suicidal I would wish I was those kids in africa and they could take my place, because at least they wanted a chance(hell even some of my family members are still living in the 3rd world and sometimes I wish they could take my place). I know that may seem kind of morbid but I think it might help put into perspective what some deep depression can do to people. And how trauma can really effect people, and I don't want to get into it too much, but once again I want to bring up talking about it, it's healthy.

when feeling depressed, i find thinking of others less fortunate than myself helps me to concentrate on all the good things that life has to offer, it's not a cure but it does help me to try and keep focused.

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Originally Posted by Hollywierdtoker

Some don't understand, some are frustrated that they won't get "better", some did get "better" and think others can do the same in the same way, the list goes on and on...

What it all comes down to is supporting these people and trying to help them on an individual level, talk to people, don't let someone carry the weight of the world on their shoulders alone, talk is probably the most powerful medication I can think of.

I know when I was about 4 or 5 and depressed/suicidal I would wish I was those kids in africa and they could take my place, because at least they wanted a chance(hell even some of my family members are still living in the 3rd world and sometimes I wish they could take my place). I know that may seem kind of morbid but I think it might help put into perspective what some deep depression can do to people. And how trauma can really effect people, and I don't want to get into it too much, but once again I want to bring up talking about it, it's healthy.

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Shit, you were that depressed at 4 or 5? I'm so sorry. It didn't kick in with me until adolescence. I know what you mean about the switching places thing...I used to feel that the first world was wasted on me, that I didn't deserve all Canada's luxuries if all I was going to feel was melancholy. I thought of Africans my age who, were they to come here, would probably be happy from then on. Were I to go there, I probably couldn't get much more miserable, and at least then I'd feel I had a reason. I realized later, though, that it wasn't really my fault...middle-class first-world whites are made to feel tremendously guilty if they're not totally happy, and I bought into that at first. As a side note, the whole emo thing always pissed me off because they were making a self-indulgent fashion out of something people really suffered from that was beyond their posturing understanding.

shut your pussy ass up you cry baby mother fucker. OMG grab your balls and work a job for 6 months save up and do something really big, take a trip. Move somewhere New. or just keep letting stupid ass shit get you down. You'll see itll happen. Your parents are dead your friends stole all your money, your pets got ran over by 18 wheelers. MOVE ON, really move somewhere new it makes a huge difference its like a fresh new start. Stupid ass cry baby motherfucker.

I can tell me and this guy are gunna be best friends..

Nice life man, flaming a depressed guy reaching out for help on a forum filled with stoners. It's the internet man, stop acting so tough. I'm sure you shoot lots of birds. That's great.

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Originally Posted by Trip06

shut your pussy ass up you cry baby mother fucker. OMG grab your balls and work a job for 6 months save up and do something really big, take a trip. Move somewhere New. or just keep letting stupid ass shit get you down. You'll see itll happen. Your parents are dead your friends stole all your money, your pets got ran over by 18 wheelers. MOVE ON, really move somewhere new it makes a huge difference its like a fresh new start. Stupid ass cry baby motherfucker.

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A man's no bigger than the way
he treats his fellow man.

This standard has his measure been
since time itself began.

he's measured not by tithes or creed,
high sounding tho they be.

Nor by the gold that's put aside,
nor by his sanctity.

He's measured not by social rank,
when character's the test;

Nor by his earthly pomp or show,
displaying wealth possessed.

He's measured by his justice, right
his fairness in his play.

His squareness in all dealings made,
His honest upright way.

These are his measures, ever near
to serve him when they can;

For man's no bigger than the way
he treats his fellow man.

Poem burn. That's epic.

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shut your pussy ass up you cry baby mother fucker. OMG grab your balls and work a job for 6 months save up and do something really big, take a trip. Move somewhere New. or just keep letting stupid ass shit get you down. You'll see itll happen. Your parents are dead your friends stole all your money, your pets got ran over by 18 wheelers. MOVE ON, really move somewhere new it makes a huge difference its like a fresh new start. Stupid ass cry baby motherfucker.

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http://boards.cannabis.com/cannabis-...ng-escape.html

Don't act so tough bud, we all know your cooler than us with all your guns and dead animals you killed to help you cope. Don't be like that.

google "The Linden Method"

changed my life so far....

actully its called hunting dipshit, and I ate the animal(im sorry you must be a vegitarian or some shit) and im not acting tought im telling the guy to suck it up and be a man. Any ways I can care a fuckless about this message board. I come on here like once a month. Go ahead some one ban me wow ill care. Ill be out hunting anyways.

ps I wont even be back to read your responce. Bitches.

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Originally Posted by Trip06

ps I wont even be back to read your responce. Bitches.

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at least you can spell i guess :)

Peace,
denial

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Originally Posted by Trip06

actully its called hunting dipshit, and I ate the animal(im sorry you must be a vegitarian or some shit) and im not acting tought im telling the guy to suck it up and be a man. Any ways I can care a fuckless about this message board. I come on here like once a month. Go ahead some one ban me wow ill care. Ill be out hunting anyways.

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:S2:

^^ Oh is that what it's called? Hunting? Good thing you filled me in since I grew up in rural Iowa I had no idea what you talking about. (Did you catch the sarcasm?)

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Originally Posted by Lit Up

^^ Oh is that what it's called? Hunting? Good thing you filled me in since I grew up in rural Iowa I had no idea what you talking about. (Did you catch the sarcasm?)

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I did, did you catch mine? lol

I have to remember that one next time though. slag someone off a bit, tell them how sad they are and how they need to get a grip, go off to kill some shit and ignore any response! ahahahahahaha

PS: someone should mention that ignorance really is bliss...

Peace,
denial

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Originally Posted by JohnnyZ

As you have problems with my viewpoint, I have a problem with this viewpoint. You are melancholy. You can't help that. I'm happy-go-lucky. I can't help that either. And there's no denying it, one leg is better than no legs.

When life gives you lemons, you can either make lemonade or say fuck the lemons and bail. Personally I kinda like pink lemonade.

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agreed

The complete lack of comprehension of some people is almost beyond belief.
I am a very fortunate person in that I am supremely confident and I have never suffered illness in my life.
This however does not make me any less capable of understanding that someone who suffers with mental health problems is in just as much need as those who suffer pysicaly.
Those who think it is simply a question of positive thought are ignorant of the reality of the problem.

Depression is like a lot of things in life, you have to experience it before you can understand it. My understanding of how debilitating it can be comes from seeing the desperation of those much less fortunate than myself.

I hate ignorance !

I think the wardens loosened the chains a bit, its refreshing to see a little controversy and shit starting.


When youre happy, content, and alls good with the world its hard to understand someone being melancholy, you gotta feel it to understand it.

I got alot to be down about, the cops are closing in from all sides, I feel like the man is sitting his fat ass on my chest, but I ain't going to let him win. As far as im concerned if you got your freedom and health you should be able to be happy.

I think you have to feel the full breadth of your bad feelings before you can let them go though, I usually drink heavily and smash old appliances with a sledge hammer in my garage. Just dont let them consume you and avoid self-pity, its a black hole for souls.:thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by psychocat

The complete lack of comprehension of some people is almost beyond belief.
I am a very fortunate person in that I am supremely confident and I have never suffered illness in my life.
This however does not make me any less capable of understanding that someone who suffers with mental health problems is in just as much need as those who suffer pysicaly.
Those who think it is simply a question of positive thought are ignorant of the reality of the problem.

Depression is like a lot of things in life, you have to experience it before you can understand it. My understanding of how debilitating it can be comes from seeing the desperation of those much less fortunate than myself.

I hate ignorance !

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i suffer from depression and mostly now i'm on an even level and getting on with things. i could be happier but what the fuck i've been far more miserable and i'm learning to ride it out a little more to make the most of whats good but i wish that was as easy to do as it is to say, its a daily struggle.

but a few people along the way have helped me to realise that my life is worth it and that they care even when i felt entirely alone in a new place, only knowing 2 or 3 people but only one got close enough to be there when i thought there was no other way out it only took 1 person to save my life and he did it by just being there and understanding, its amazing what a little support can do.

i know a few people who suffer from depression and i realise that none of us suffer in the same way and we all deal with it differently, i also lost a very close friend through suicide and it made me realise not everyone can be saved. and that you could have a huge network of friends but it only takes the right ones to help you through its not quantity but quality.

its good to see that some people dont need to fully understand someone elses problems to be able to support others if only more people were willing or able to do the same. :thumbsup: