wanted: stoner chick that has enough friends

NOTICE: this is Doughboy of SNSstealth, not WT hes doing just fine in this area.

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I'll tell you, the story of my life, its like a bad sitcom, over and over again. the Twenty or so girls ive met in my life that have a brain, dont do pills or are an alcoholic, smoke and actually are fun to be with all have wanted to "just be friends. I dont get it anymore, I try to get to know her and then when i think they might be someone dateable, ill ask them out and get some carbon-copied response of "oh I really dont see you that way" or "(text msg) just want to make sure you arent looking for more than friends"(this after blowing me a kiss as she left my house the night before:wtf:).

im really too nice is the problem, i guess. I dont know how to be an asshole and from my experience that seems to be what gets girls interested. ive seen it to much and it pisses me off to see a girl used as a coat rack or a bottomless ATM or a sounding board/ punching bag for all her boyfriends problems, only to hear "but when hes drinking hes such a good guy" FUCK.I JUST DONT GET IT. when. im fucking 32 years old now. this shit is ridiculous.

The bars here suck, yeah i dont go very often because I cant drink very much without being too drunk to talk. im normally articulate and have many friends (male and female) who seem to enjoy my company. im always generous(to a fault) with the Ganj... I have a real job and a car and have for quite a while. i just dont get it.

I know this is a rant. my father passed a 2 months ago and im having a mental breakdown. Im trying to cope with it and this site has helped meso much and ive got to let it out somewhere. dont worry all hope is not lost from me, im gonna be doin some changes in the new year to get myself back together:thumbsup:

db:smokin:

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Originally Posted by SnSstealth

"but when hes NOT drinking hes such a good guy"

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db:smokin:

Eh man, don't sweat it TOO much. I'm real sorry to hear about your dad though. Be careful not to let the various sources of pain or unhappiness in your life get all piled up all at once and start feeling like they are overwhelming. Try to deal with each individually.
You don't have to be an asshole to meet a nice girl, promise. My standard response to this complaint, that I hear from a lot of NICE men, is that you are probably putting yourself in physical situations where girls expect assiness. Like bars. In those situations, it's quite likely you'll end up meeting chix with issues of their own- insecurity being one big pitfall to avoid- and if you're complaining of stupid shallow drunk girls, ummm.... lol!!!! I always tell people they need a change of scene/scenery for all that good meeting new friends stuff.
Make a list of the shit you like to do, that it's possible to do socially, and then go through thte list and look up local events that are related to those interests. Heck, try something new! Dating in your 30s is TOTALLY a different scene from dating in your early 20s. Everyone is so set in their ways, and you need more than ever before to find someone whose lifestyle is compatible with yours, before you even wonder if you're going to get jiggywiddit later. Join a freaking softball team, lol!! Cheesy but classic. Of course I keep forgetting you guys are in FL. Isn't a lot of the outdoor stuff a bit of a sausage fest down thurrrrr? What about a kayaking club? The ladies will be all up ons in no time ;)

Sorry to hear about your father. It's good to know that the site helps out a bit. All I can tell you, as a ex-victim in the cruel dating world :(, I can say this... you hit the nail directly on the head with this line:

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Originally Posted by SnSstealth

I dont know how to be an asshole and from my experience that seems to be what gets girls interested.

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Yes, you will find GIRLS at bars.... You may find an actual WOMAN, but she is going to be so jaded from the bar scene that you have a major uphill battle. I can't support Stinky's suggestions enough. You can only expect to find a partner with similar interests if you meet at places.... well... that interest you! I would never imagine going to a bar to meet a match... not just because I have a girlfriend... but because I don't drink :jointsmile:. I also never enjoyed the social aspect of loud, drunken conversation. Book clubs, garden clubs, volunteer work are all great places to meet "cool" chicks. Females there are also not walking around with that barrier that they need when trying to survive in a bar or club. Helps let you comfortably break the ice. Women are also much less threatened by a new male face when the introduction is done during the day... making bars that much more difficult.

MEET during the day
GO OUT at night :thumbsup:

But yeah... with all the crazies running around nowadays... women are much more defensive with strangers. You should have the first encounter NOT be one of a romantic interest. Let it develop. Seriously, if those other "girls" would make gestures and lead you on, only to want friendship... GOOD FOR YOU. Sounds like a bunch of future head games you missed out on... and that's a GOOD thing!!

It's not that girls like assholes, its that they like confident, masculine guys. Assholes just tend to have these qualities more often than nice guys. Think about it, what are some characteristics of femininity? Emotional, caring, sensitive. Sounds a lot like the charactistics of nice guys. You don't have to become an asshole to get girls, just remember your evolutionary role as a man and maybe be a little more confident and don't let her see you cry when bambi gets shot.

Stinky not only a grow guru but a relationship counselor too?
I never was one for the bar scene. I married my best bro's hot little sister! Two children and 14 years later :) Still the happiest guy on the planet!

You can find love in the strangest places :)

My brother-n-law met his wife at the gym.

I'm sorry my friend as someone who has been without father since I was 5 due to a cancer 99% people live from, I'm very very sorry for your loss.

As for the women....... well you have my condolences as well there too.
I'm currently in a crazy situation to where I fell for a girl 5 years ago and have been dragged all over the earth for her only to be used. As she sits and collects money from her mom out of country.

I'm not married, so I'm digging myself out of my hole. But sometime one mistake can take years away from your life.

Be careful, sometimes you need the feeling that your loved so much, you let it blind you.

"Sometimes the clouds of Heaven, Is the steam of Hell.
But your so caught in the moment, you couldn't take a step back to see what's going on before it's too late."

Something I've said to warn friends for years.

Keep trying buddy, I know things will work out for you!

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You can find love in the strangest places

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I can testify to that....3 ex-wives can't be wrong...:rastabanna:

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Originally Posted by SnSstealth

NOTICE: this is Doughboy of SNSstealth, not WT hes doing just fine in this area.

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My wife is bi....oooooo-lay:jointsmile:lol...(had to rub it in Db)

All bullshit aside, I went through many a shitty relationships till her Db...I feel ya man. She is out there somewhere, you'll find her.

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Originally Posted by Dutch Pimp

I can testify to that....3 ex-wives can't be wrong...:rastabanna:

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LOL...Get-r-dun Dtuch!!!
:joint1:for ya Db
whiskeytango

thanks all for your help:thumbsup:
i think asshole is not truly what i meant but when the rant kicks in...well you know. i think 40oz nailed it.

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Originally Posted by 40oz

It's not that girls like assholes, its that they like confident, masculine guys. Assholes just tend to have these qualities more often than nice guys. Think about it, what are some characteristics of femininity? Emotional, caring, sensitive. Sounds a lot like the charactistics of nice guys. You don't have to become an asshole to get girls, just remember your evolutionary role as a man and maybe be a little more confident and don't let her see you cry when bambi gets shot.

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lately just cant get the timing right where im not a stranger and not a "friend". I really dont go to bars to look for a match. cant remember the last time I went to one when my buddies band wasnt playing. my last few attempts were friend of a friend situations, hanging out gettin high tellin stories, jokes and whatnot a few times. and just try to progress from there, go to the beach, lunch, asked one out for drinks, with varied results with none of which working out. I REALIZE i shouldnt expect all or most women to take this as a good approach, but i guess its just been a bad stretch.

:angry3:

lol...garden club... i cheked that out a while back and the only one i could find was "the ladies of the rose club"...saw their picture, could have been renamed "the retire to florida club":D but ive got a few other things in mind to start doing once ive got some more play time:weedpoke::greenthumb::yippee:

thanks again
db:smokin:

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and if you're complaining of stupid shallow drunk girls, ummm.... lol!!!!

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:rolleyes:lol

Sorry about your father, I know how difficult that is.

I'd suggest that you just try casual dating. Maybe go online with those dating sites and play the field. There is even a dating website called Pot Partners, which matches up stoners. And don't worry too much about the "we can be friends" line that women often use - it's just a precaution on their part and if you play your cards right you may get closer. Plenty of relationships started out that way. Look at the good side of it: You are an eligible bachelor, are employed and drive. Most married or divorced guys are in a much worse situation than you are. I didn't get married until my 40's, and I wouldn't change a thing.

jah1son,

good first paragraph, thanks for the advise:thumbsup:. but please read site rules. their have been alot of troubles lately with people requesting things

db

Awww hun. My Dad died this April so I know how you feel.

Sometimes it feels like the whole world is crushing you. It gets better.

I am not a drinker. I do not like guys who drink. John doesn't do either, smoke pot OR drink and I'd rather have that (though I wish he smoked).

The girls that you stated above are the type of girls you don't want to be around anyway. Losers really.

Don't get too down babe. Were here for you!

xoxox

I think something got deleted, oh well! I always get in too late!

I agree with Stinky: Make a list of what you want.

db: Nothing wrong with being 'just friends!' If they choose you for a friend, then they must have girlfriends that are more like you and you will get along with. Hang around and meet their other friends, ask her to bring them along! You never know who you will meet! Nothing is instant, takes time and patience! You will meet the right special person!

This is a time in your life, you are taking inventory! I lost my father at the same age. It is not a good time for starting a new relationship, mostly it may be out of pity! You are busy grieving the loss of the most important man in your life-deal with one problem at a time! You had a major loss! My heart goes out to you! This is your time to grieve. Sorry you don't have a shoulder to do it on, try your puppy! This will pass with time! It is a difficult time for you!

We both live in states that are too superficial! Be patient! Lots of luck to you! PR :thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by Breukelen advocaat

Sorry about your father, I know how difficult that is.

I'd suggest that you just try casual dating. Maybe go online with those dating sites and play the field. There is even a dating website called Pot Partners, which matches up stoners. And don't worry too much about the "we can be friends" line that women often use - it's just a precaution on their part and if you play your cards right you may get closer. Plenty of relationships started out that way. Look at the good side of it: You are an eligible bachelor, are employed and drive. Most married or divorced guys are in a much worse situation than you are. I didn't get married until my 40's, and I wouldn't change a thing.

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Online dating can be fabulous. I met my fiance John on a dating site. It's a great way to really get to know someone 1 on 1 (without all the extra hoopla and distractions).

Oops, did another post disappear while I was writing?? Um!! PR

I really would like to have them as friends. they are all pretty cool chicks(thats why i was interested in the first place), and two of the recent ones i am friends with. a girl ive known for 5 years is seeing my roommate and i couldnt be happier for them. its been my experience though that when i hear that line, its usually the last time i hear from them. I dont dare call one twice or I might be labeled a stalker...:wtf:

yes im trying to just focus on one problem at a time, but thats been hard for me to do lately. my minds all over the place...my dad, the grow, no money till after grow, game-playing bitches, slow at work............it just bounces around in there. cant wait for my super indicas to maybe clear the process out.

db:smokin:

Now, I understand why you changed your avatar! Sorta fits all you are enduring at the time you changed it!!

Don't feel so alone, I think we gals learned the line from a few men. Want to email the last one I met and see? Been there. He was so busy looking for a wife, he could not see anything!

My neighbor met a woman on line at age 50 and they were married within 2 weeks and adopting kids within a few months. Asking neighbors to give written recommendations for them to adopt. We had no clue who she was! Once I met her (being the only person in the hood that knew the guys mom) I could see--he married his mother! Ick!! they did not get along and we'll see how this works!

It would seem your room-mate owes you. Wherever you met that gal, maybe you ought to go back there! And next time you really dig a gal, don't bring her home for your room-mate to date! I did not think guys did that to each other. Thot it was female exclusive!

I like to think, there is something better waiting for you! Are you planning on moving, also? Keep your chin up and eyes open.

Statistics say, more men meet women in the grocery store! I expect in the vege section. Find a woman that looks unattached, without ice cream in the cart and start asking for her wisdom at picking a vege and how to store it, etc. Move the converstion from there to a ph. #. Don't be over anxious. That turns people off! Call and chit chat a little with her, email and get to know her on line. Then ask for a date. Just a thought. But, there actually do studies on this!

A lot of love is going your way! :D

the avatar is WT. i usually dont change it....but good observation...lol

I wont be marrying anyone in two weeks...ive already met her...three kids @ her parents house, apparently just left her man. she condensed a 6 month relationship in to two weeks...talkin about getting a place together after a week:wtf: and couldnt take the lets wait and see approach...put the brakes on that.

and its not really like that with the roommate. ive known her for years and already knew im not getting her. shes actually one of my friends.

thanks for the tips everyone. im gonna just layback and try to deal one at a time. i should have the freedom to play in a few months, so im gonna take care of myself so ill be able to enjoy it. this site and my new found hobby help this immensely:thumbsup:

db:smokin: