Anxiety and Cannabis, experienced smoker, long read :)

Well this will be a rather long post so i hope you bear with me :)

In few words smoking ganja the past couple years has been a different experience for me then it has before i had my first panic attack. I have learned to cope with it but i have come to the point where im seriously considering quitting altogether, though i hope it doesn't come to that.

Briefly, what used to be the best part of the high, the `rising` or the first 20-30 mins of the buzz is usually very anxious moment for me. I only feel 100% good and normal maybe an hour after i smoke, where its just like old times, but no matter what i try 8 times out of 10 that i smoke, i always start out feeling really paranoid, and the pleasant effects only hit afterwards sadly.

Now a little bit about myself, and part of the reason i wanted to share this is that i would hate for this to happen to other stoners and to hopefully raise awareness (though this might be redundant as i have seen many panic attack/cannabis threads) to the experienced smokers out there that this doesn't only affect inexperienced smokers.

My story is as follows, not to sound arrogant but i believe myself to be almost as experienced as it gets :) I am currently 27 years old, I started smoking when i lived in Italy around my freshman year. Most of what i smoked was hashish, moroccan by default, and i was pretty much a casual smoker(weekends) and never had an issue getting stoned. Same goes for 10th grade, and during the summer I made a trip to Amsterdam for the first time and stayed 2 months with my friend. I smoked quite a bit over there, tried mushrooms , etc, and it was all good times. When i came back though for my 11th grade in Italy i was addicted to cigarettes since I pretty much mixed tobaccco into everything I smoked. Normally 10 cigs per day maximum but nevertheless I was a full fledged pot head at this point pretty much smoking a few joints of hash per day and cigs as well. I was on several sports teams and was pretty fit so never had any issues getting high etc.

After 11th grade my family moved to another country this time in South America, and I had to leave behind friends , gf etc and was very depressed at the time. I brought along some hash and eventually scored weed there, and upped my daily smoking considerably, that is to around 5 joints of weed per day. The weed was no problem i never had any panic or whatever, but it was never as satisfying as hash and i felt always like something was missing on my high. Couple years passed, i started doing LSD occasionally and smoking weed with it and no problems. One day I had a bad trip after taking a bit too much, but nothing that cannabis couldn't cure in the folllowing up days. I also grew my own plants that I ordered seeds from Holland, and was probably my best stoner experience , besides going 4 times to Amsterdam of course :)

So my family relocated again, this time to Africa, this was also a blast, and here i toked more then all the years combined, i was around 19-21 at the time and weed was so incredibly cheap and so relaxed that with my african friends we could go through about 10 joints in a sitting, no problem. I did repeat visits to Amsterdam in between those years, and always good times.

Now the problem starts, I move again, however this time I had a small amount of hash to hold me up untill the weed i mailed myself from Africa arrived, and so i ended up rationing it up to 2 small spliffs a day with alot of tobacco. No problem, but i was very anxious every day as to when my weed would arrrive. I would also mention that the previous few months i had spent in Italy smoking strictly hashish , no weed.

Well my hash ran out, and I ended up scoring some weed on the street. By then my tolerance must have been quite low due to the rationing of my hash, but anyhow i smoked small joints of the weed and rationed it as well, as buying on the streets wasn't the most pleasant experience, and i had about 200 grams of fresh outdoor skunk arriving within the week.


Now is the most important part, so i hope you guys have read this far :) Anyway, I receive the news that our stuff had arrived from the movers, and that night i went a bit overboard with the weed smoking a spliff back to back within the hour since i didnt have to worry about rationing anymore. Now this is something that i had done on numerous occasions in the past, but this time around it was quite different...The irony of this whole situation is also the fact that the day my stuff arrived was the day I had been most anticipating for the past 2 months...

First off I would like to note that after smoking plenty hash for months, the weed gave me a odd `trippy` feeling when i first smoked it, i shrugged it off and payed no attention. But after that back to back spliff I laid down and had my laptop and was playing warcraft 3 I believe it was, anyhow i felt a weird sensation on my left arm like a tingling, prolly because i was lying on it kinda or holding my weight. So I glanced at my left arm and looked at my veins, of course nothing was wrong, but at that point I started panicking hardcore. My heart started going fast, i felt a bit faint, and had no idea what was happening.

All I did for the next 5 hours, until my parents woke up was basically drink almost 3 liters of water in sips, as i didnt know what else to do, when i tried to smoke a cig it made the effects even worse. That morning I had my mom take me to the hospital, I claimed it was something that I ate or w/e, in fact I was so convinced it wasn't the weed that I never even gave it a second thought, I just thought perhaps something was wrong with me. Anyhow, I went to a cardio, took blood samples, whatnot and turns out there was nothing physically wrong with me, so I relaxed.

This is where it gets weird, so I end up staying up that whole night, and I open my package finally when we go to our apartment, and I grab my fresh stash i had mailed myself. I had suspected that maybe the weed I had smoked was laced or something, so I just tossed it. So I bust out a nice spliff from my stash that was from Africa and I knew for a fact wasn't laced or any crazy shit. I smoke it, and no problems.

The next day I thought everything was cool, and when I first light up a joint, bam panic attack all over again. This time I was more prepared but nonetheless it was scary. So I decided there and then, that I wasn't gonna smoke. I took a 10 day hiatus, and decided to ease my way with smaller joints, and my birthday was coming up , i would hate to not to be able to toke.

The small joints worked, but I still felt uneasy every time I lit up and ended up getting pissed off at myself that I couldn't feel the way I did when I used to smoke normally. I literally had to smoke with a small water bottle sometimes, just for mental `reassurance` or however it would be called. Was quite sad from someone who has smoked weed on Africa, South America and Europe, and of the best and most varied quality, including growing my own successful plants.

So I was at a loss, I continued to smoke those 2 years up untill now, but it was always the same, I ended up tricking myself by smoking a tiny joint to start the day to reduce stronger anxiety reactions, and work my way up throughout the day. But I always smoked maximum 3 small joints a day, and was scared to put more inside a joint. So it did the trick but I was never 100% comfortable. Occasionally, I would have no issues smoking, and that may be due to particular strains of weed, i do not know for a fact, but some I could handle better then others. After the first bad panic attack I was always able to prevent/anticipate them and stop, but I always had that worry in the back of my mind.

Now the reason I decided to post here, is to possibly get some feedback on what you believe I should do about this. Quit altogether? Do I maybe have a anxiety condition or depression (though I consider myself a pretty happy person) that needs psychiatric evaluation? Are these possible flashbacks from having taken LSD in the past? And finally, is it possible that this only happens with weed as I have always been more comfortable with hash? If I quit cigarettes would this help my weed related anxiety? As it seems that when my buzz settles from a joint, when i smoke a cig an hour later I start feeling a tad panicky.

One strange thing I noticed is that when I go out and have a few beers, and smoke weed, I have absolutely no anxiety etc from smoking weed, in fact I can smoke rather large joints then :) But I'm a social and very casual drinker, so I'll be damned if I have to consume alcohol to enjoy my weed, it sounds ridiculous, but perhaps could this be attributed to the alcohol reducing some of the anxiety?

So Im sorry for the long post, I just felt like I should share this with the stoner community, and see what kind of feedback I could get, people with similar experiences and the like. But it just seems terrible to have to stop, even casually using ganja after a few years. Even if i smoked once a week, it would be great to enjoy it without feeling panicked :(

Im considering quitting cigarettes, and I have been exercising more, however the final test will be when I smoke some hash this summer (its been 2 years) to see if it brings the same effects, hopefully not. I also read about indica plants inducing less anxiety, perhaps that would be something to look into if someone could share some knowledge :)

Cheers and thanks for reading, will appreciate comments/feedback and similar experiences, but I have reached the point where I may just quit, it just seems kinda of pointless to continue.

p.s: when I say I smoked the past 2 years its been very little at that, just the past 6 months I smoked probably a bout 10 grams in tiny joints

Hello there, nice post ! So my answer is long too, but I hope you'll take time to read it.

Well what can I say about that... For sure the strain you're using will change the effects, you have to find the right one for you. Even with the perfect strain, you can still have some of those effects. For sure you're state of mind (stress, personals problems, sickness, etc.) will influence your buzz.

Personally I have my best buzz when I'm with friends toking up, even at home alone in the apartment which I know by heart I can have some panic attack, usually make a good "check up" around and some rationalization and I get this feeling out quite fast, as I said before I usually don't have these problems with friends...

You said that when you where in Africa you toke a lot and didn't have any of these issues, what I guess is that we are really more stress in the "modern" society and this is what is creating the panic / anxiety, get some good reggae, perhaps Bob Marley or any other smooth relax music to help you calm down, mellow out. You where talking about friends over there, now are you smoking alone ?

As you mention alcohol usually seem to help people out as it mellow you out, but as you said drinking might not be a good solution, well at least for you.

As for stopping to toke, this is a solution you may consider. See it as a balance, on one side you have the high and on the other you have all the bad side effect, now check if you tend to be more on the high or the bad side then the decision might be easier for you to take.

Self confidence, relaxation, mediation, are all some little things you can work on to get better buzz. Stop trying to make plans or trying to figure out what will happen next, just stay in the present... If you are somehow artistic try to focus and create something.

I hope this can help you out, as well as all the other smoker with these problems. Let me know what you think.

I personally find the HEavy Sativas do the same to me. Make me more paranoid etc etc and I even get anxiety sometimes. Most of the hash you would smoke im sure came from predominantly indica strains correct? Does it matter which strain you are smoking or do you notice a diff between and indica and a sativa?

Thanks for the advice :) But I think you hit it head on, when you said that modern society is what could have started it. In Africa buying/smoking and the whole weed smoking was completely more relaxed then it is where im currently living. Aside from the fact the weed in Africa isn't as powerful, but perhaps the paranoia of police now and getting caught are new problems that i never even considered in Africa :)

Ya also mentioned about smoking with friends, YES, this anxiety always happens when I'm alone. That is to say when I smoke with friends im still a little anxious but its way more reassuring then alone thats for sure. I will try the whole meditation thing, but not sure how to proceed. Should I do Yoga and seek a professional, or are there basic meditation techniques that you guys use that can be found on the internet? Any good advice on that would be great.

But I think ya nailed it on the head, mindset is what is all about, and hopefully I can work something out.

Cheers

hey there just wanted to take a second too double up on some of these feelings yall are describing. I started smoking mary jane at 14 years old and by 15 was more or less a regular smoker. I think even by 15 these feelings of anxiety etc were strong maybe it was the fear of getting caught, growing up in a family that really looked down on it. For example I can remember going and getting high with my older brother and upon arrival at our house he went inside like it was nothing but me on the other hand I was so freekin scared I stayed outside for atleast an hour or so before I would even go in. This kinda shit really was not all that abnormal behavior for me. My little brother was like my big brother he could smoke and smoke and smoke and function around family, friends etc. I generally always got paranoid as heck. I am 24 now and have smoked once in tha past year and quarter and it still got me feeling really strange when I did it. Just thought I would send that shout yalls way!!!

I hear this a lot. As the bud gets better and better. If you are going to ry it again start with one toke. wait like 20 minutes and then do another if you feel you need to. Also I found this helps to have some fruit or fruit juice on hand, something sugary. This will help if you start to get feeling weird. I have a friend who grows vietnamese black. This stuff can make me hyperventalate (sp) with only two pulls. I also have found that a beer or two will calm down any feelings of paranoia or anxiety. Now there are some strains out there that make me quickly start thinking about everything negative in life, love, and war and I flat out steer clear of these strains. I have been smoking for a long time and have found that it is totally strain specific, the anxiety and what not. A couple strains that are perfect for me you might find are good too are,
Strawberry cough, Cotton candy, Hawaiian indica.
Also the time of harvest is really important to the smoke/buzz. More amber trichs usually more mellow buzz. I once had blueberry that was real clear trichs maybe about 7 weeks and that stuff flat made my head spin. The good thing is that I was unable to become freaked out because my mind was going so fast the negative thoughts escaped and I was on to another thought. Well sorry this was so long, hope my experiences can help someone.

I've suffered some similar symptoms as you have.
I sometimes think it may be our consumption of other substances that may contribute to something like this...
(i hope mention of other substances is ok in these forums, i've received warnings before for mentioning other things on other forums...but i feel that for the topic of this thread and feedback to sektorone that i may need to...so forgive me).

Personally, i consider myself fairly experienced smoker. I've been smoking mj for about 7 years, nearly on a day to day basis for a lonnnnng while.

Mj has always been my favourite, but i've had substance abuse problems with several things in the past, namely e and crystal meth, which sprung from some personal issues i had to deal with.
There was a period of time in my life where i would drop 5-6 pills a day...and this considerably messed up my head big time in terms of memory, aphoria etc.
After this i stupidly messed with crystal for a bit. This is where the source of my paranoia lies. Crystal subtlely messes with your head, so subtlely that many heavy users suffer behavioural changes etc. Personally i foudn that when i smoke, everyday of the week after after a long session of using meth (3-5 days straight), i would be intensely paranoid during the entire high...
I've also used LSD on several occasions before, in high doses (7 blotter trips), and i dont think my paranoia stems from this...
I'm also a pack a day smoker, but i'm a pretty firm believer that nicotine relieves stress and anxiety, so im not sure if this is it either...

but i guess different chemicals affect people differently...my bane may have been meth...maybe yours is LSD...

imo if i were you, i would probably take a short break from any substances...then come back to it and see you feel

i really really hope you find the source and a solution to your problem. because quitting all together is a very sad sad thing indeed...
best of luck!:thumbsup:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sektorone

I will try the whole meditation thing, but not sure how to proceed. Should I do Yoga and seek a professional, or are there basic meditation techniques that you guys use that can be found on the internet?

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Well... there are indeed very good meditation techniques in the internet, and even in this forums... for example, look at:

http://boards.cannabis.com/spiritual...echniques.html

Unfortunately though, not everybody is able to control their own minds by themselves, and so in the beggining the need the help from a "professional"... but you could try this techniques by yourself, and see if you succeed, before seeking outside help.
Anyway, i assure you that emptying the mind IS possible... its hard work, and surely there will be times when you think its imposible, but it isnt. With the practice, it becomes easier and easier.
Also... a question about your original post. Do you feel anxiety even when you smoke some relaxing indica? I know that sativas causes anxiety, but indicas are usually used to treat anxiety, and so should not cause it... or at least is what its expected.
And indicas also helps a LOT to meditate... they makes easier to empty the mind, as it becomes slower... in fact, there is a beverage made with weed that is used by monks in the india? tibet? (somewhere near there...) to help their meditation practices.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by grinmore

(i hope mention of other substances is ok in these forums, i've received warnings before for mentioning other things on other forums...but i feel that for the topic of this thread and feedback to sektorone that i may need to...so forgive me).

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Well... unfortunately it is not. Unless the mods view your mention of other drugs as done with the only purpose of helping the discussion... but even so i think you will be warned about this. Sad but true...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Coelho

Well... unfortunately it is not. Unless the mods view your mention of other drugs as done with the only purpose of helping the discussion... but even so i think you will be warned about this. Sad but true...

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whoops! sorry guys

It's kinda crazy how strains and such influence high, I guess it's something I always took for granted. All my good experiences with ganja have been with hash and dark green/brown varieties, which doesn't necessarily mean they were indica, but as I understand most moroccan hash is made from indica plants.

As far as the actual bud, in Africa most of the stuff I smoked was lower potency compared to hydro/indoor, but it was outdoor skunk. I pondered the possibility of the chemicals and such used in developed countries having a relation with a bad toking experience.

My first `anxiety` high happened in south america with some pressed `brick` bud. In general in south america bud tends to be sativa dominant (as far as some research I did) with exception of the paraguayan buds that are dark and even purple sometimes :) Lot of times brick buds are laced with some chemicals so they don't smell while being transported, aside from the actual chemicals used to grow it. Whether that has anything to do with my first anxiety attack vs just having smoked way past my tolerance level that was very low at the time, I'm not sure. But if that were the case, when I smoked stuff that I knew for a fact was good bud, why did I still get paranoia? Perhaps my brain associated being high with a bad thing?

On a side note I was wondering that if indeed I could smoke high grade indica strains, and got my tolerance back up without a problem, would that influence
my high when I smoked sativa dominant strains? Or would I be doomed to never touch a sativa strain?

Lastly, is there a way to tell if the bud is predominantly sativa or indica by looking at it? I figured that browner/purple kinda weed would lean towards indica and lime green towards sativa, but is there any other way to tell? Not all of us have the luxury of choosing from a menu of strains :) and have to settle to what is available.

My smoking actually helps my anxiety so Im not sure if I can help but from experience... My anxiety is always lower when Im doing everything else in my life right... ie less stress. maybe take away what youre tripping on when you have attacks. also, I once went to a foreign country were i brought in a small amount of hash. Our only option was to smoke the hash/cigs you were describing. It gave me a raging headache and a panic attack but I dont smoke tobacco so I just chalked it up to the tobacco and not the weed. after all, I have friends that smoke both all day long without recourse. But man i feel for ya...

I'd be fine with being 'doomed' to never touch a sativa strain again. As long as I could get high lol
I've been looking for Indica but paranoid about getting seeds on the net.
Oh and the colour doesn't mean anything. I smoked this bright green stuff once, like the brightest I've seen and it was mellow as, I've also smoked almost black stuff and been noided as hell