I am SO upset

I have been trying to manage my fight with ADD and Bi-polar. When I got married 4 years ago, I stopped smoking weed. 3.5 years of pure hell for everyone involved. FINALLY after 3 1/2 years, my wife and I figured out my smoking or lack of was the problem.

We both see a great change in who i am when I am medicated.
What BLOWS is my ability to find ANY good green or any weed consistently. When I run out its DR, JACKAL and MR HYDE. Its horrible and I hate it. And swag, who knows what it is, if it good or not. Some bags help, some dont help at all, some help but give me mad munchies and when I eat I come down.

I have tried 3 times to grow my own.
First attempt, ended by a mouse.
Second Attempt, ended by a cat
Third Attempt, ended by 3 three year olds

FUCK I AM SO upset my eyes are tearing up. ALL i want is be normal, treat myself with a NATURAL, PLACED on this earth by GOD plant, WEED!!! I mean WTF. I feel like i am doomed to smoke and waste my money on swag that only works here and there.

I guess if there is ANYONE who treat Bi-Polar with weed, what do you do when you run out.. Its horrible for 3-4 days, then its some what ok, NOT really, i guess I keep thinking its ok. :(

Im not in the same boat as you,but similar,My wife who was against it at first told me last week,"I like it when your high Honey!" and I was like really? and she told me 'your so happy and helpful and everyone is happier,the whole house is just more happy"
I guess cause my back aint hurting and I do housework and yardwork.But it sucks,cause summertime has been hard,There has been times when I got a week with nuthin.
But I just have to bear it,Its hard,but I have no choice.
Sorry to hear about you having that problem with finding good stuff,FOr me my wife was like"can't we just buy a large amount and everytimeit gets halfway we just get more?"
I was like yeah,problem is ,is that its expensive.lol
I do have ADHD,I dunno if thats the same thing exactly?

That sucks man, I can only suggest you refine your method of growing,
Ive got chronic as hell ADD too, Ive stopped smoking for about a week and have now developed a speech impediment :(

How often do you find you need to smoke?

I wish I could just give you my number and solve your problem:). Unfortunately you live in Illinois and I live in Auckland. Sometimes its the fourth time thats a charm, give it another go man and hopefully perseverance will win the day

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How often do you find you need to smoke?

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About every 2 hrs, sometime 1.5 hrs

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Originally Posted by NextLineIsMine

I wish I could just give you my number and solve your problem:). Unfortunately you live in Illinois and I live in Auckland. Sometimes its the fourth time thats a charm, give it another go man and hopefully perseverance will win the day

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Wish you could too. Ya ill have to rethink my space..
I am just glad it was bag seeds every time. If they would of been my feminized cheese seeds, i would of got rid of the kids ;)

I'd get a mouse trap; Use indoor box like some of these threads show and put them in a locked closet! Just a thoght! I tried outdoors some years ago and ran into probs.: dogs ate them as soon as they came up about 5 inches; now it is rabbits and all wildlife: my last try I couldn't even sprout-dah! Have read a lot on this site--keep reading; you'll find the answer! Growing is a problem and I've yet to start, looking for something I think I can handle with my conditions! Would be a lot easier to just figure out how to connect! The price's I find are $80 for 1/8 of gram and that is dust in millisecond! So, read, read and read; I wish to heck it grew in the wild. Poppy's did in CA and they managed to get rid of the real thing and have benign one's grow now! Just sick of the Gov't. and closed minded medical practice's here! pr:(

maybe NextLineIsMine is right, maybe the 4th time is the charm, it's only failure if you give up

here, check this out

http://boards.cannabis.com/grow-log/...-grow-log.html

oh, and Sticky, yeah, ADHD is closely related, just with a fidget component, lol

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Originally Posted by painretreat

The price's I find are $80 for 1/8 of gram and that is dust in millisecond! pr:(

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80 Bucks for 1/8 of a gram? or ounce? Either way that seems expensive lol, but if thats all you can get, thats all you can get:thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by painretreat

I'd get a mouse trap;

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I did the first time the plants disappeared and mouse shit appeared
lol, he didn't do it again.

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Originally Posted by illnillinois

FINALLY after 3 1/2 years, my wife and I figured out my smoking or lack of was the problem.

We both see a great change in who i am when I am medicated.

When I run out its DR, JACKAL and MR HYDE. Its horrible and I hate it. And swag, who knows what it is, if it good or not.

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I share a similar problem with you illnillnois. I've only been smoking for about 6 months now but I've been having anger problems all my life. Weed calms me down, just as it does for you. A couple months back I was super addicted, smoking weed constantly because I believed it kept me calm and in control of my anger. But like you, when I don't have it or im not medicated, its the INCREDIBLE HULK x10!!!!

What i've learned from this is that it's all a mental thing. I was really dependent on weed to keep me "happy" in a way, and it really ruined a lot of things around me. But now I try to do my best to tell myself that I can do without it and that everything will still be okay if I don't have weed. So my advice to you is that, next time if you happen to be dry and you start to freak out, just take a deep breathe and tell yourself everything will be ok. You will be okay.

Since weed can be pretty expensive in the long run, I've found that this has helped me the most in my darkest times of need. But other then that, HAPPY SMOKING!!! Smoke on my friend and enjoy life! :rasta:

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Originally Posted by LordFarquaad

I share a similar problem with you illnillnois. I've only been smoking for about 6 months now but I've been having anger problems all my life. Weed calms me down, just as it does for you. A couple months back I was super addicted, smoking weed constantly because I believed it kept me calm and in control of my anger. But like you, when I don't have it or im not medicated, its the INCREDIBLE HULK x10!!!!

What i've learned from this is that it's all a mental thing. I was really dependent on weed to keep me "happy" in a way, and it really ruined a lot of things around me. But now I try to do my best to tell myself that I can do without it and that everything will still be okay if I don't have weed. So my advice to you is that, next time if you happen to be dry and you start to freak out, just take a deep breathe and tell yourself everything will be ok. You will be okay.

Since weed can be pretty expensive in the long run, I've found that this has helped me the most in my darkest times of need. But other then that, HAPPY SMOKING!!! Smoke on my friend and enjoy life! :rasta:

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What a great comment, and i am happy that your first post was used on my thread..

I had some other seeds in a towel..
so that next day I threw in 7 more into the dirt bed..
keeping my fingers crossed for da ladies..

heres a link to the new batch..pretty kid proof.. http://boards.cannabis.com/grow-log/...-grow-log.html