Stress and Marijuanna

Alright, this isnt what you may have expected to be reading at first but im getting really sick of this. I have an irrational... stress/anger/fear of weed? Well not really.... Alright lets get into the story, those that wish to give some helpful insight or advice into my issue, thanks! Anyways.

I never had an issue with weed. I never tried, never have, dont plan on it either. Oh well. Around age 18 I was deeply smitten for a girl. More than that crush type stuff ya know. One day a friend of mine (who knows im deep in it for this girl) asks me if it is alright if he gives her weed. I ask, "What? Why are you giving her weed?" Before my mental image of this girl was someone I could really be with for awhile. A PC gamer, loves to hang out and just be wierd with me. Well it turns out she wanted to try out weed. Now I have never really had a problem with people doing weed but for some reason.... just imagining her doing it, sitting around with people and just toking it up got to me. It hit me, really hard. It made me sick feeling, like I had this weight in my chest. I got angry, made, scared I was going to lose her. I voiced my concern to her about it. Then I kept voicing it, and things just got worse and worse. After a hard break up of sorts and a bunch of other drama, I no longer talk to this girl as I used to. I am now 20. Thats all gone and passed, but the discontent I felt when it came to her and weed was incredibley overwhelming.

Flash to now. I am currently ENVELOPED by this new girl. Its sick, but everything is amazing with her. BLAH BLAH BLAH im sure you dont want to hear this love story either. Anyways, she does weed from time to time. Maybe once or twice a month. Nothing horrible, she is always drawing like weed plants and buys some clothes with weed and stuff on them.... anyways, its waging a fucking war in me when I think about it. Most of the time im happy with her, well 99% of the time and I dont even give weed a thought. Ive done my research on it, and to be honest its one of the healthiest, safest drugs to use. This doesnt change anything in my eyes though. It doesnt stop this deep feeling of horrible stress, anger, sadness and discontent. Its so bad I woke up this morning, and I remembered this picture she drew of herself with smoke billowing out of her mouth and im just shaking with... Just this horrible feeling. I cant shake it and I know marijuanna isnt even dangerous or destructive. I hate it so much. I love this girl a ton, like, its such an amazing thing with her. Then I get so angry and sad about her doing weed and all I can do is think about just how I can stop feeling this horrible feeling. Sometimes I think about threatening to break up with her cause she knows how I feel about it and she does it anyway. I dont want to have to make her stop though. I just want to change myself and have a REALISTIC reaction to it. Like I dont want to become physically sick because im imagining her consuming these little plant im staring at on the top left of my computer screen.

If any of you have any idea on how I can overcome this horrible feeling, thatd be awesome. Id rather not try it, and id like to keep it that way. Im not really for illicit drugs and all that. Plus I play a couple sports, compete in weight lifting and work a job that all like to drug test a bunch. So even if I wanted to I couldnt. It isnt an option to try it to get over it. Ive thought about but I wont, probably never will. Its ok though.

I just cant shake this feeling, it overwhelms me from time to time and im getting really sick of it. I wasnt sure what forum to put this in so I put it in here. I thought maybe the main supporters of the drug might have some good ideas.

Thanks guys, have a good day/night.

Shawn

Really the only advice I have is to try it, but thats obviously not an option.

Just try to focus on everything you love about this girl and try to ignore the smoking. It's not like shes smoking every day around you or something. Maybe ask her to kinda keep it away from you, so that its not so much of an issue for you.

If you can't make peace with the habit, you'll need to find a woman who doesn't smoke.

It's not fair to you or to the women you date to judge them harshly for a habit you acknowledge isn't harmful to them.

Just part ways and move on... with someone you are compatible with.

I don't know how much help we can be... you admitted its not a bad drug and don't mind it that much when people smoke it... but on the other hand you have some strange horrible feeling when a girl you like smokes it... just makes no sense at all... if you were someone who thought it was a demon drug then it would, but....



and like someone else said, i know this "isn't an option" but smoking some for yourself would most likely be beneficial in my honest opinon...

The problem I see with your situation is that you are dating girls that don't share the same interests you have. The real problem is not marijuana, or your feelings for marijuana, but the fact that the girls you allow yourself to fall in love with like something you don't particularly care about. Just because you choose not to date girls that smoke marijuana doesn't mean you are not open, or are close minded, it just means marijuana isn't right for you, so naturally a good relationship would be with someone that shares your same feelings.

If you ask me, you just seem very immature relationship wise, you are thinking of love as some uncontrollable spiritual force, when the reality is that it's nothing more than a chemical reaction in your brain. Every person has full control of who they fall in love with, but many people don't understand love enough to realize this, so instead of choosing a good match to fall in love with, they try to force themself to like someone they have already fallen in love with. This is why the divorce rate is so high for people that get married under the age of 25.

You probably won't like my suggestion, but I'm not here to tell you what you want to hear. You need a different girlfriend, someone who shares the same interests as you do. Marijuana is obviously something that bothers you, so just find a girl that doesn't smoke marijuana, trust me, there are plenty. Maybe we should trade black books, lol.

hey thanks for all the input guys and or gals. To the smoking monkey, im not judging her harshly. I would not even consider being with someone I disrespected. Its just id like to try to get over this feeling of mine. As for nailhead, I can see where you are coming from. I dont like to think im immature when it comes to relationships, I am well aware its chemicals in your mind. I dont think of it as that though, and I dont think of the idea of love as some crazy spiritual thing either.

Anyways, I appreciate everyone has to say. Im making progress. Ive been talking to her about it. I really like what you had to say 420 and marquis. Ive told her im not going to ask her to quit. She says she wanted to after I had told her that. I told her not to because of how I felt. A - I dont want to control her. B - What if she just lies about it, no good. So what we have come up with is, I will just delve myself into that world. I wont smoke it persay, but ill be around it when she does it. Just get used to its affects on her and then get used to it. Thus I can be familiar with it, without trying it.

Hopefully this will work out to help dissapate these bad vibes about it. Because I thought about it and ive only been around her once as she did it. I have a feeling im gonna be pretty shitty about it, but I just gotta keep hanging out with her, and her smoking buds and perhaps, just perhaps, this will work itself out.

Let me know what you think of that.

Thanks for the responses all.

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Originally Posted by DrippingSun

I have a feeling im gonna be pretty shitty about it, but I just gotta keep hanging out with her, and her smoking buds and perhaps, just perhaps, this will work itself out.

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lol, it won't, why would it? You just want someone to tell you what you want to hear. It's not going to last, so why drag it on any longer than you need to? Just dump her and be be more selective when dating.

Personally~~I think u really love this girl & don't
want 2 give her up~~u suggested u hang out with her when
she smokes~~well~~instead of makin u sick~~why don't
u jus take a couple hits 2 see how it would really affect u~~
right now u don't really know~~it could make u & ur girlfriend
closer~~but if u jus can't & its really stressin u~~don't smoke~~
I would also consider lettin her go if the smokin is jus way
2 much of an issue for u~~
PEACE OUT~~

Nailhead - Smoking doesnt define who this girl is. Its not her main hobby, passion and joy in life, it is far from it. It is just something she does from time to time that I feel shit about and would like to stop feeling shit about. Its not like I feel shitty about it all the time. Every now and then when it sneaks into my head it can get me down. Other than those few times, things are amazing with her. Just because we dont share exactly the same interests doesnt mean we cant be together. I play paintball and powerlift, she isnt really into those things, but she doesnt think about dumping me because I do something she is unfamiliar with. Im not going to leave her because of a little plant ;P Thats ridiculous.

Anywho - Ill keep people posted on how things work out if need be. It seems just talking about it with people lately has helped tremendously. So thanks for those of you with input to it.

You clearly missed the point I was trying to make, oh well, I can't help you then. Just make sure you don't have kids with this person for God's sake.

you're a good advert for reasons why people should smoke weed

hahaha, yeah dude. i've slept with every one from ugly to almost hot in my day but that is a clear sign that you need to take a good long look at yourself and the chicks you are picking up. kudos to you on your conviction to not smoke pot, i respect people that keep their head on straight and can stick to their merits (whatever they may be) but I am sure there are atleast some chicks who don't smoke--they may not put out as easily--but they can be fun if you put the time into it (and who doesn't like hearing their buddies stories about the good christian girls who have herpes)

Thanks for those with input, again, much appreciated.

This thread is going nowhere now however. Some people are just to convicted in a plant to believe that it should rule all action. Hope you all the best and that you lead good, wholesome lives. I shant be posting here anymore.

All the best,

Shawn.

if anybody asks me to stop smoking... it's bye bye to that person... call me a radical...

yeah, i feel the OP - i'm like that with my boyfriend and him drinking, except he's an alcoholic. it's something i have to deal with if i want the relationship to work, because relationships are just that: work!

honestly, though, if you're stressing to the point that you're feeling physical effects, maybe it would be best to go talk to a therapist and figure out where this irrational feeling comes from. you're perfectly aware and informed about the drug, yet you still have such a strong reaction to the thought of your girlfriend smoking it ... honestly, it sounds to me like there's a mental issue with you. not saying anything bad, but that strong of a reaction is kind of worrisome. maybe if she was shooting up smack, but smoking reefer? no way.

if you care about this girl and want to make things work, go talk to someone about the issues. you're feeling these things for a reason, but if you want to continue dating this girl, it's up to you to find out why you feel the way you do, and i highly doubt you'll find a satisfactory answer on a board with a bunch of pot smokers. just sayin'. :jointsmile:

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Originally Posted by murderface

honestly, though, if you're stressing to the point that you're feeling physical effects, maybe it would be best to go talk to a therapist and figure out where this irrational feeling comes from. you're perfectly aware and informed about the drug, yet you still have such a strong reaction to the thought of your girlfriend smoking it ... honestly, it sounds to me like there's a mental issue with you. not saying anything bad, but that strong of a reaction is kind of worrisome. maybe if she was shooting up smack, but smoking reefer? no way.

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Thats what i was going to say... have you ever stopped to think why do you hate weed so much?
Think about it... and maybe you find some answer to your problem.

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Originally Posted by NaughtyDreadz

if anybody asks me to stop smoking... it's bye bye to that person... call me a radical...

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Um yeah - he bashed me when I said he should move on.

Whatever man. Each to his or her own, you know?

Can't we all just get a bong? I mean, along?

I hate to say it, but its probably not going to work out if you have a problem with the concept of mind alteration. I also hate to say that I doubt she is smoking once or twice a month. You can either accept someones lifestyle or not. My wife doesn't care that I'm a smoker because it doesn't change me or her. I still clean up, go to work, and i'm nice to her so she doesn't care. Neither should you. Do you drink?? If you do you are a hypocrite for giving her a hard time about weed. Alcohol is much worse in my opnion.

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Originally Posted by Igotsoul4u

Do you drink?? If you do you are a hypocrite for giving her a hard time about weed. Alcohol is much worse in my opnion.

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AMEN, Bro! :thumbsup:

BTW alcohol is much worse than weed period. The ONLY advantage of the alcohol is that its legal. But yet smoking is FAR superior than drinking, be it legal or not.